Disclaimer; I don't own anything.

Chapter 2

I just want this pain to go away! This is to much for me, my world is falling apart right before my eyes and all I can do is sit on the sidelines and watch. This whisky isn't helping at all; my thoughts are always going back to him. This shits supposed to be helping me forget everything that's been going on, not make me think about him more!

He can't be my, my … I can't even bring myself to think the word let alone say it out loud. I know it's inevitable, I will have to go home eventually; this whisky bottle will run out and Emmett will come looking for me, but I choose later. I just can't face him right now!

I'm half way through my bottle, I shouldn't be worrying about this shit right now, I should be so fucked up that my only thoughts should why the world is spinning in every direction. But NO! The universe isn't even giving this one thing I want. All I can think about is him, every time I close my eyes I see his beautiful green eyes, and every sip of whisky I take is for him.

He's always been a part of my life; he's always been there, first as my best friends annoying older brother, later as my best friend and shortly after my boyfriend! We've been together four years. I love him, I always have and I always will.

Oh God why is this happening? This can't be true, I can't be in love with my, my, no! He can't be my brother, he is NOT my brother. My one and only brother is Emmett Cullen. No, no! Edward is NOT my brother. This has to be some kind of sick joke!

I bring my hands up to my eyes only to once again feel the tears that have been streaming down my face for days. I feel as if they might just be a permanent mark now, something that will forever be there to remind me that he's my brother. I can feel myself shaking, it's really cold it's the middle of December but for some reason I don't think my shivering is a cause of the weather.

This is my fifth day away from my home. Where is home anyways?

The minute my dad walked through those doors and said what he said I lost my home, everything that I knew, or everything that I thought I knew had been a lie. I ran out of that house as if my ass were on fire leaving Edward with Renee and Carlisle.

I was so infuriated when he walked through those doors! He hasn't been home since Lucia was born. He walked in only to find Edward and I attached at the lips, and after the horrible moment of shock he began screaming at us. I was so mad I was seeing red. I mean who does he think he is, he's been gone almost all my life, he was a stranger! I didn't really have a father, and then all of the sudden he wants to waltz in the house screaming bloody murder because he sees me making out with my boyfriend of four years! Thinks don't work that way.

Flashback

"ISABELLA MARIE CULLEN!" Carlisle has always been the calm one always had been the peace maker. I don't think I've ever actually heard him shouting, so you can imagine my surprise when I look up and see him practically blowing smoke out of his ears.

"Dad? What are you doing home?" I still couldn't get the look of shock off my face

"Better question is why you are alone kissing him on my couch" he was shouting so loud I could of sworn Rosalie and Jasper heard him 4 streets down, the veins on his neck looked about ready to pop out and his nostrils were flaring.

I didn't even get a chance to say a word before he opened his mouth to yell again

"RENEEE!"
Edward still hadn't said a word and was standing cowardly behind me with his hands on my shoulders. My boyfriend is SO manly, queue the sarcasm.

I opened my mouth once again attempting to calm my father down but before I could even take a breath deep enough to speak my mother ran down the stairs.
"Carlisle!" she happily exclaimed throwing herself in his arms, you can probably guess my mother's reaction when he pushed her away and turn to Edward and I once again. She was livid and extremely confused.

Carlisle held his hands to his face pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration before slowly turning to my mother to ask once again the question he wasn't letting me answer.
"Renee, why is your daughter making out on my couch with this bastard?" the way he was referring to Edward was really starting to piss me off!

Edward thought that was the perfect moment to step in, suddenly turning from a scared kitty into a fearless lion, he stepped in front of me making his way toward Carlisle "Sir …" Carlisle looked at Edward then back at me, several times before he began gasping for air.

I ran around Edward and stood next to him, I was seriously beginning to believe this wasn't going to end well. "Dad?" I asked slowly reaching a shaky hand towards him "what's wrong? Are you alright?"

"Carlisle Hun, they've been together for four years, I don't underst…" she didn't even get a chance to finish before he began shouting again

"FOUR YEARS?" I don't understand what is tantrum is about, he knew I've had boyfriends before and he never had a problem with it. What was wrong with Edward? I had never actually seen my dad this mad; something had to be seriously wrong.

He put his hands to his hair pulling at the short ends pacing back and forth, something I realized Edward did a lot when he was frustrated or angry. I only got parts of what he was saying "This isn't happening" "brother" "siblings" "Esme" "NO!"

Brother? Siblings? What the fuck is he talking about? Esme? How does he know her, sure mom and her were friends but he's never been around enough to actually know her personally, right? What the hell did she have to do with this?

I looked around the room only to notice the that we weren't alone, Emmett was standing by the stairs watching as everything unfolded, Lucia was sitting on the kitchen counter watching our father have a breakdown with a funny expression on her face. My mother's expression was unreadable, and then finally my eyes landed on Edward who looks just about as confused as I felt.

Deciding to end this right now I stepped in front of my father and looked at him. I felt the pain before I realized what had happened. My cheek stung! He actually slapped me! Tears were begging to fall and I only got a chance to see his hurt expression before Emmett and Edward both threw themselves at him, my mother rushing over to my side. I didn't really understand what was going on but at the moment I realized it had something more to do than me just having a boyfriend, this was about Edward.

I pushed past my mom and brother and saw Edward holding my dad up by his collared.

"What is going on?" I said
He looked at Edward as he said the words that broke me in two.

Never taking his eyes of him he very softy whispered "He's your brother."

I stumbled back "WH WHAT?"

"Edward is my son" he said this time a little louder. Three things happened simultaneously after those foul words came out of his mouth.

Edward dropped Carlisle
My mom reached for me
and I ran out of the house keys in hands.

End of Flashback

I wished this was some sort of sick joke, but it's not.

So I ran, I didn't want to hear another word come out of his mouth. All it took was three words "He's your brother", those words ended me. There was no other option left than to run.

What would you have done in my position?

I had contemplated where to go for half an hour before I found myself in our meadow. I don't know how long I sat there ignoring calls, crying, and just wishing the world would decide to eat me whole. At some point I realized the meadow would be the first place Edward would go looking for me. So I hopped in my BMW and took off to Port Angeles to my cousins' house.

Angela sat with me for hours, listening to my awful story and my crying, not interrupting once and just letting me get it all out.

I can't tell you who's been trying to contact me or if they're still trying… I threw my phone out the car window when it became too much for me.

I don't want to go back; I know Angela's not going to push me to go back till I'm ready. The problem is I'm not sure I'll ever be able to face that truth. He just can't be my brother! NO! I refuse to accept that.

But the facts were there, the way they both pulled at their hair and paced when angry, the green eyes, the way they both pinch the bridge of their nose, both hating cherries. The list could go on forever; I think I can find more things in common between Edward and Carlisle then between Carlisle and myself.

The only one at fault here in Carlisle! My mother has nothing to do with this; neither does Emmett, and diffidently not Edward.

I bring the bottle back to my mouth

Edward

More tears form in my eyes, I wonder if they will ever stop falling.
"Bella?" I hear that velvet voice
I laugh loudly, I've been drinking so long I can swear I hear his voice.

I can hear my name being called again, followed by footsteps. Anyone walking along the beach at this time would think I'm insane.

An 18 year old girl, laying on the sand wearing her boyfri… brothers football jersey with an almost empty bottle of whisky in her hand. Not to mention the bags under my eyes and the tears running down my face.

I love this beach; this is where Edward and I first confessed out feelings to each other.

"BELLA?"
I hear footsteps coming closer as the wave's crash on to the shore. And as always I feel that so familiar electrical current in the air whenever he's around.

I don't move, not giving any signs that I know he's there. But I know he knows. I just can't look at him, I can barely hold myself together while thinking about him I can't imagine what will happen when I actually face him.
He makes that decision for me though; he lays down next to me, putting his hand behind his head.

Neither of say a word, I can't take it! Tears keep falling as I look at the stars. I once more bring the bottle to my lips, but before I can get them anywhere near my face he yanks it from my hand and flings it across the beach.

More tears, and more silence; Not only on my part

I pull myself up so I'm sitting watching the waves. I can feel his eyes on my back as I bring my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around them.

"What do you want Edward?" I mumbled

It was so soft and low I didn't think he would hear me

He places his hand on my shoulder and I flinch away from his touch, I know I'm not the only one hurting but I can't deal with this right now.

"Bella, please don't …" his velvet voice is like a knife through my heart "don't shut me out"

My tears begin to fall harder and I shut my eyes tightly as he puts his hand on my chin turning my head to face him. Why is he making this so much harder! This isn't one of Shakespeare's play, we can't be together not because our families hate each other but because he is family!
He wipes away my tears and I can feel him watching me

"Bella" he whispers, I shake my head

I can't do this!
"Bella you were my best friend before you were my girlfriend, talk to me! Don't shut me out"

I move my head away from him, facing the water again "I can't" I begin shaking my head again, I want to disappear! I want anything else then what I wanted at this very moment! I want nothing but to throw myself into his arms and forget the world … But I can't!

"Please look at me"
I reluctantly turn my face to him and no matter how childish it might be I did it with my eyes still closed.
He chuckles and I follow shortly
"My Bella" There was so much love and hurt in his voice that, those words alone broke me down reminding me of what I couldn't have.

I opened my eyes

Looking at his green eyes I realize that this doesn't only affect me. I found out my boyfriend is my brother, but he found out that he's been living a lie. He grew up with Charlie as his father obviously something that Esme knew wasn't true. He looked just as bad if not worst then I did; I immediately began to feel guilty and sick.

I couldn't "Edward, I "but before I finished he had me in his arms my head resting on his chest while he runs his hands through my hair.

"Please Bella, come back home. Emmett and Alice are devastated, no one has seen your mom since since- well since we found out and Bella I need you! I don't care if its just as my friend, I don't care that you're my"

"Okay"
I had to stop him; I couldn't hear those words coming out of his mouth.

He stood up, bringing me up with him, but as soon as I'm up straight I throw myself to the side throwing up everything that's been in my stomach, which at the moment is about an entire bottle of Jack Daniels.

"Jesus Bella how much did you drink!" he exclaims as he holds back my hair

I haven't exactly eaten anything, unless you count half a piece of toast 2 days ago.

I barely manage to mumble "Ugh, not enough" I can practically see the scowl on Edwards face even though my back is turned to him
"Come on Bella, let's get you home" I get back up but the second I do I felt the world moving. Maybe drinking wasn't a good idea. I still don't understand how I manage to drink so much without passing out. I never handle it well!

In hope of making the movement stop I grab on to Edward, "I can't" I mumble before turning again to throw up once again.

"Jesus Bella this is the stupidest thing you've ever done. Let go" he said this time I can hear the anger in his voice

I was about to protest but he picked me up bridal style and began walking away from the beach. Maybe if I just close my eyes and fall asleep ill wake up to a world where my father never came back, where Edwards dad is still Charlie, where the world isn't mocking me by spinning, and where I don't have this killer headache.

But I guess it's time to go home.