Chapter 2, "The Wolf and The Boy"

"Remus..." muttered Sirius, shooting him a sideways glance.

It was only the second week of class when Professor Mukworm, their potions professor, had broken and he could understand why. Sirius and James had made an effort out of harassing the Slyterhins, causing their cauldrons to explode in their faces and making their nails melt off their fingers. They had also taken it upon themselves to change every Slytherin's hair in the room a bright Gryffindor red, including Mukworm. They had titled him an honorary Slytherin for living in the dungeons and taking up with the snakes. The antics of the two boys did not change, no matter the amount or severity of the detentions that Mukworm dished out. The result of the, 'Breaking of the worm' as James liked to call it, was assigned seating.

He casually stole a glance at Sirius. It was the first time the boy had addressed him in the two weeks since arriving at Hogwarts. Usually if Sirius wanted him to know something it came in the form of a command or was spoken directly to James. It should have bothered him more than it did, but the fact alone that Sirius paid him more attention than the other two boys made up for quite a bit. Sirius always made sure he knew where he was at all times. Sirius was also very touchy with him, more so than with James even, unless one was to count the constant wrestling the two indulged in.

"Hm?" he replied.

"This... it's rather dull," responded Sirius, rubbing at his eyes. He didn't even bother to pretend to be paying attention to Professor Mukworm. His hands were gripping the side of the table fiercely, feet planted far apart and flat on the ground. The position looked a little awkward and flighty in his opinion.

Bowing his head, he gave a small smile. He did suppose that the seating arrangements were not to Sirius' liking. Mukworm, not being stupid nor considerably brave decided to assign Gryffindors amongst Gryffindors, leaving the Slytherins to sit as they pleased. Despite only having 6 first year Gryffindors, Mukworm had managed to separate them to ensure the most displeasure for both Sirius and James. James was placed in the first row next to a mousy, but otherwise unremarkable girl, named Alice Whitfield. Peter and Lily were placed in the second row. Remus suspected that particular arrangement was more for the benefit of Peter's grade than anything. It was no secret to anyone in Gryffindor house that Lily Evans was extremely studious. That left him and Sirius in the last row of seating. He really did have to give it to Mukworm for correctly assessing that Remus Lupin was no threat in the mischief making department despite always accompanying James and Sirius. Next to him Sirius gave an audible sigh, staring up at the ceiling as Mukworm's voice droned on about the proper way to cut the caterpillar into segments. At the front of the class, James wasn't doing much better. He was making an effort out of trying to wedge his foot under the heavy table for no other reason other than anxiety and a lack of an outlet for his energy.

He glanced down as a slip of parchment was nudged underneath his arched hand. In Sirius elegant scrawl, 'Are you sick?'

Biting his lip he paused for a moment to control his body from shaking at the question. The full moon had been two nights ago and usually it took a week for him to feel human again. Being that it had only been two days he knew that he looked as if he belonged six feet under, and felt as if every bone in his body were slightly too big for his frame. If it weren't for magic he would still be a bruised and bleeding mess with several broken bones. He was grateful to Madam Pomfrey, but there were certain things healing could not fix after the full moon. The extraordinary amount of fatigue was one of them, but he would not allow more than one day of recovering from the full moon. He would not let himself fall behind in his studies.

'No,' he wrote, 'Just extremely tired. When I visited my Mum at home there was a lot to do around the house, like I told you, and I didn't get much sleep,' he wrote, passing the paper back to Sirius, who upon reading it lifted one polished eyebrow.

The other boy's reaction made him nervous beyond measure. It was only the first full moon since his arrival at Hogwarts and he wondered how long he could make up lies to cover up his absence during the few days he was gone each month. This month he opted to include his mother, saying that she was ill and required his care for a couple of days. He hoped that this could get him through the first couple of months, or perhaps longer. He also knew that if he kept coming back like this-and he would- that there would be suspicions about his home life.

'Don't you have two parents? Or at least a house elf?' the paper collided back against his hand.

'Dad works long hours and, no, we do not have a house elf.'

'Really? We have a dozen. They sleep in the basement and then when they die Mother mounts their heads to the walls.'

He burst out laughing, exchanging a look with Sirius before quickly clasping his hands over his mouth. He stared up at the front of the class to where Mukworm was lecturing. Luckily for him Mukworm had not noticed; the professor was looking at his notes and scratching his head, deep in his own thoughts. He looked back at Sirius with a red face, embarrassed at his sudden outburst. Sirius gave him a strange look and grabbed the parchment back from him, frantically writing, 'Why did you laugh? I didn't think that was funny.'

He grabbed his quill and then paused looking at Sirius who met his gaze, nothing but confusion clouding his eyes.

'Surely you weren't serious? That's awful'

'They're just creatures, Remus,' was the haughty reply.

Swallowing he clenched the parchment in his palm, anger and sadness shrouding his mind. Of course they were just creatures, he thought. Nobody could care for a lowly bottom dwelling creature like a house elf, and clearly no one could care for a dark creature, like a werewolf. In fact, house elves were lucky in his opinion. They had a place amongst wizards and their primary purpose was to serve, and while not very honorable at least they could breathe the same air without being classified as a disgusting danger. He could taste bile in his throat as the same thoughts that coursed through his head on the days before going to Hogwarts came back. He was living on borrowed time. His education was out of pure pity. Ignoring Sirius concerned looks, he returned his gaze back to Mukworm, focusing entirely on his nasally voice.


He was being jabbed in the side by a very demanding fork come dinner time. James really needed to understand what forks were for.

"What's wrong, mate?" Asked James, fork still lodged into his side, "You haven't touched a thing, and there's Yorkshire pudding!"

Truth be told he had touched things, but as far as eating went, he still hadn't gotten to that point.

"I'm just tired, James. Thinking about my Mum and everything, you know," he said, barely a whisper.

The fork immediately left his side and James turned his full attention on him, "She'll be alright though, Remus?" because the thought of anything else couldn't quite register in eleven year old minds.

"Oh, I don't know yes," he murmured, mind elsewhere.

Ever since his discussion with Sirius in the potions classroom, he had been thrown into a state of premature mourning, made even more devastating by the fact the people he was mourning were still very much alive. It had been foolish of him to think that he could have friends, or lead anything remotely like a normal life. He need only to look at the scars that ran diagonally down his chest to be reminded of that. Or in this case, an inadvertent hurtful remark from Sirius. James, having been satisfied with his response went back to his pudding. Sirius was sitting to his right and seemed to be trying very hard not to turn his head towards him at all. He thought it was odd that Sirius had chosen to sit next to him if he wanted to avoid him that badly, but then again, Sirius always demanded that he sit by him. The need to be in close proximity to him was something that he never quite understood about Sirius.

"You know, Remus," that was Peter, "My Aunt Polly was sick for almost three weeks from dragon pox. No one could tell what it was on account of there not actually being any pox. She would have known sooner, but she thinks she can cure anything just by wanting it enough. She's a nut. Is that how your Ma is, do you think?" asked Peter innocently.

He rubbed at his eyes and stared at Peter from across the table, "No, Peter, my Mum isn't a nut."

"Oh! I didn't mean that she was a nut, I just thought maybe she didn't get herself checked out."

"She did."

"Then what's she got? I can't imagine that it's not curable," asked Peter.

"I don't know, Peter. The-they don't really tell me these things," he replied, suddenly nervous.

"Well they need to tell you, she's your mum and it may b-"

"Peter, shut the hell up," Sirius was on his feet leaning across the table, his eyes blazing into Peter's.

Peter immediately cast his eyes down and gave a quiet apology in his direction before going back to his food, pecking over what was left. As much as he was grateful for Sirius' intervening he couldn't help but to feel bad for Peter. It was one of the first times Peter had spoken up in the group and until then it seemed as if he had gained some confidence amongst the other three boys. He liked Peter and knew that Peter was just being concerned, if not a little callous. It was a shame that he had made such great friends knowing that he couldn't keep them.

The rest of dinner was uncharacteristically slow at Gryffindor table, at least the end that housed the younger years, the older students beyond their reach in more ways than one.


It was early morning when he felt a cool breeze hit his side as his bed curtains were pushed open. Blinking in surprise,he stared up at Sirius. His hair was disheveled looking as if he had tossed and turned for most of the night. They continued to stare at each other in silence before a loud snore from Peter's bed roared through the air, causing Sirius to shift his weight from the opposite foot.

"Remus, are you mad at me?" he asked.

"No I-" he was cut off.

"It's just that you keep saying you're tired or that it's about your Mum, but you didn't get all quiet and moody until the house elf thing and you wouldn't talk or respond to any of my notes all day and I just, well what did I do?" stammered Sirius.

He chewed on his lip, not sure on what to say. When put like that, it was obvious that his mood had nothing to do with his mother's illness or lack thereof. Several minutes passed without his acknowledgement, causing Sirius to throw his hands up in the air and hastily pull back his covers, climbing into bed with him. Startled, he moved further back, distancing himself from the other boy. This caused Sirius to become even more anxious, desperately following him back until he was dangerously close to falling off the bed. Strong arms wrapped around him and Sirius' head was pushed into his chest.

"Please don't hate me. I can't take it. I'll be nice to the house elves, although they are sort of disgusting," spoke Sirius into his chest.

"They aren't disgusting, Sirius. We can't help what we are. S'what Mother says at least." He was aware at how stiff his body was with Sirius wrapping himself around it, but still he couldn't force himself to push the other boy away.

Sirius gave an abrupt laugh, "My mother says things your Mum probably wouldn't agree on then."

"Sure she would, Sirius. Mothers are about all the same," he said, trying to convince himself. After all, there were elves mounted to the walls.

"Yeah," Sirius replied vaguely.

There was silence and then, "Sirius?"

"Yes?" Sirius breathed.

"Why's it so important that I don't hate you? We hardly talk you know, and it's only been a couple of weeks."

"Because you're Remus," Sirius replied adamantly.

"You don't know what that is, Sirius."

Sirius lifted his head up from his chest and glared up at him, "I do so!"

"You don't, Sirius, and if you did you probably wouldn't want to be my friend."

"Of course I want to be your friend, Remus, and there's nothing wrong with you. You were made for me," Sirius responded, clutching Remus tighter.

After that, silence surrounded the two boys as Sirius' breathing became deeper and more relaxed. The boy's grip on his waist slackened slightly. He remained awake staring wide eyed at the other boy, trying to comprehend what Sirius could possibly have meant. Whatever the meaning, he knew that there was no distancing himself from Sirius now, and as hard as it would be to be friends with him knowing it couldn't last, he couldn't bring himself to break the fragile friendship build between he and Sirius. Closing his eyes, he brought his hand up to smooth Sirius' hair down his back, allowing himself to be lulled back to sleep as puffs of air were blown over his neck.