Chapter 2
Daphne woke up with a gasp as her nightmare faded away, the rising sun banishing it to the recesses of her mind. It was the same dream again. Curses lit up the sky as she and Astoria dodged them. The Death Eaters moved gracefully in the shadows, skirting the centuries-old trees. It was a game of cat and mouse. Her terror rose like bile in her throat, so potent she could still taste its bitterness. She could see the edge of the Forbidden Forest. If they made it, they would be safe.
And like every night she had this dream, Astoria tripped and fell. Daphne tried to run to her, to get her, but the Death Eaters always got there first.
She pulled her shirt up to wipe her sweaty brow. Her blonde hair clung to her face and she knew that she looked like a mess. How could she not? Every night, Daphne watched her sister die at the hands of those who had always promised to protect them.
Jumping out of bed, she grabbed her toiletries bag and headed to the bathroom. The other girls were still asleep, but it wouldn't be long before they were awake.
The hot water felt heavenly against her skin. The heat seared away the fear and grief that still clung to her from her nightmare. Daphne never told anyone about her dreams. Everyone had nightmares. How could they not after everything they'd been through? Others had it far worse than she did. She threw her clothes on, grabbed her book bag and left for the Great Hall.
It was too early for the other students to be awake. Even the portraits were still slumbering. These were the moments that she could pretend the war had never happened. The sunlight cast the stone walls in a golden light, making Hogwarts look like magic itself. As if nothing bad could ever happen here. This place had always filled her with wonder and joy. But, the effect was always ruined the moment she reached the Great Hall. If she closed her blue eyes, Daphne could still see the broken bodies - the injured and the dead - brought together in this room. It was where she waited for Astoria, hoping that her sister was still alive.
"Are you going in or staying out?"
Daphne was snapped out of her thoughts and came face to face with Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Won. It was the first time they'd seen each other up close. Potter was Draco's sworn enemy. Associating with him would have been social suicide. But as she looked up at him, he didn't look like a man who had saved the world from tyranny.
He looked just like everyone else.
In the past, a cloak of destiny was wrapped around him, making him look otherworldly. But now that it was gone, Potter seemed different. Less certain of himself. His black hair was still a mess, but his green eyes looked like they belonged to someone far older than him. He still wore those ridiculous wire-rimmed glasses.
Realizing that she had been staring, Daphne cleared her throat. "I just wanted to say thank you. The world is a safer place because of you. There's nothing that we can do to repay you for it."
Before Potter could answer, Daphne turned around and fled to the Slytherin table. She could see that he still stood in the doorway. It was likely he had no idea who she was. It was better that way. If Draco or Pansy found out, Daphne would never hear the end of it. Not that they scared her. It just wasn't worth the effort to fight them.
Weasley and Granger joined Potter at the doors and the trio walked to the Gryffindor table together. They looked formidable. Weasley towered over the other two. He was frowning, his gaze lethal whenever he looked at the Slytherin table. He made it very clear that he was against returning to Hogwarts. Granger's hair was still a bushy mass of curls that almost devoured her face. But she had grown into herself since the war, held herself confidently. She didn't shy away from the looks she drew. Rumour had it that Granger and Weasley were a couple now, though it didn't look that way from where she was sitting.
"I'm surprised to see you up so early," Millicent said taking the seat across from her.
Daphne shrugged, grabbing porridge and berries. "I didn't eat enough at dinner yesterday and I woke up starving."
"I still can't believe that Weasley left in the middle of McGonagall's welcome speech."
It was the talk of the school. McGonagall gave the typical lecture about house unity and healing. Weasley stood up in the middle of her speech, glared at her, and walked out. If that hadn't been shocking enough, a handful of people had copied him. Weasley made a statement. But, Granger and Potter hadn't supported him.
"What are we talking about?" Blaise asked.
"Weasley," Daphne said between bites.
He rolled his eyes. "They'll let him get away with anything now that he's a war hero."
"A lot of people aren't happy about returning to Hogwarts," Millicent said. "I doubt anyone would have returned if the Ministry hadn't forced us back."
Astoria chimed in, making Daphne wonder how she hadn't noticed her sister's arrival. "I can't believe they're making us re-do our previous year. Now I have to relive OWLs all over again."
Daphne felt a surge of affection for her sister's innocence. Maybe there was hope for the younger generation after all. The group was quiet as they ate. The Great Hall was filling up. Professor Slughorn handed out their schedules just as the owls carrying the daily post flew through the hall.
Millicent flipped through The Daily Prophet and frowned. She handed the paper around the group so that they could each read one of the articles. It looked like Weasley was looking for a fight, if the interview was anything to go by.
'The only reason I'm back at Hogwarts is that the Ministry has forced us to return. I would never willingly agree to sit in a school filled with Death Eaters. To see them walk right where my brother died is an insult to his memory.'
"He's talking about us," Millicent said.
Blaise swore. "I don't know why we bothered coming back. Draco was the only one involved in that shit."
"Because we were also forced to return," she said.
"Draco wasn't the only one," Daphne said looking down at her plate. "Or do you not remember our last 'school' year. We're all guilty of something."
Thankfully, Slughorn chose that moment to hand them their schedules. Blaise looked like he was about to argue, but she ignored him and scanned her schedule. Now that they had progressed to the NEWTs level, the classes were a mix of all four houses. Daphne had decided to take the following classes: NEWT-level Charms, Transfiguration, Ancient Runes, Herbology, Astronomy, Defence Against the Dark Arts, and History of Magic.
"I'm going to head to class. I'll see you guys at lunch," Daphne said, grabbing her bag.
The look Blaise shot her told her that their conversation wasn't over. Not by a long shot.
#
The first day of classes was harder than Daphne had anticipated. Being back in the castle wore on her. Memories she'd rather forget filled every inch of the school. As soon as she finished her assignments with Pansy, she excused herself. Daphne needed to get away. Leaving her bag behind, she grabbed her cloak and left the common room. The hallway grew busier the closer she got to the main doors. She got caught behind a slow group that was holding everyone up. Granger was standing in front of her talking to another girl.
"Harry's avoiding me," the Weasley girl said, her voice loud.
Granger sighed. "Give him some time, Ginny. This summer has been hard on him. He's grieving."
"We're all grieving! We broke up because it wasn't safe," Weasley said. "The war is over. It's safe. So why won't he talk to me?"
"You know that I can't get involved. I'm sorry."
Daphne was relieved when she passed them. It wasn't proper to talk about such personal things out in public where anyone could hear. Hadn't Weasley noticed that everyone was listening to them? Any mention of Potter's name was going to do that.
It wasn't until Daphne had reached the Black Lake that she realized her spot was already taken. Draco had been absent for most of the day. He attended classes but didn't take part and he had missed every meal that day.
She could understand Pansy's obsession with him. Draco looked almost ethereal in the moonlight. His blonde hair was almost white and his skin was so pale he looked like a Greek statue. Though he was attractive, there was turbulence in those beautiful grey eyes. He hadn't had the best of childhoods - none of them had - and the war had made him even more troubled.
Daphne sat next to him. He didn't seem to notice her, which was fine by her. The lake was still this evening. Though the weather was still warm, the wind carried an autumn chill.
"I'm never going to escape what I did, am I?" Draco asked.
She swallowed. "I don't know."
"Weasley was right. I shouldn't have been allowed back here after what I did."
"We all did terrible things to survive."
"No one else became a Death Eater."
Daphne huffed. "Just because we weren't branded doesn't mean that we weren't forced to do bad things. What did you think going to school was like with the Carrows in charge?" she asked. "If you wanted someone to say 'Poor Draco', talk to Pansy."
An awkward silence drifted between them. Daphne knew that he was hurting. Draco had done awful things. He had been a bully before a Death Eater, but she couldn't hate him. The blond had always come to her defence. He was always there for her when she needed him. They didn't spend that much time together or talk a lot, but it was the little moments they shared. There was a bond there that she didn't have with anyone else.
"How bad was it?"
Daphne bit her lip, trying to choose her words carefully. "There are no words to describe it. I've never felt more helpless or disgusted in my life."
"Disgusted?"
"We all had to find a way to survive."
He wrapped an arm around her. "You don't need to tell me if you don't want to."
Tears pricked her eyes. The memories came rushing back all too easily as if waiting for the opportunity to pounce. Shame welled up in her. As much as they had made fun of Potter and his friends, they were brave until the very end. They didn't hesitate to rush into danger, would never act against their moral fibre. The year spent under the Carrows had shown Daphne how weak she was.
"I used an Unforgivable," she admitted.
He drew her closer to him. "Which one?"
"The Cruciatus curse," Daphne said, the words came rushing out of her. "Alecto wanted to make sure that we were loyal to the cause, so she tested us constantly. I couldn't do it. But she threatened Astoria... So I used it."
"Who did you use it on?"
"Longbottom. I had never felt more disgusted or ashamed in my life. To think that I had to hurt someone to protect her. She's my younger sister. What else was I supposed to do?"
Draco lifted her so that she sat on him and cradled her against his chest. For the first time since the war, Daphne fell apart. It was easier to pretend that nothing had happened during the summer. But being back here brought everything to the surface. How could they move on after what had happened? McGonagall had mentioned healing but that seemed impossible.
When her crying slowed, Daphne rested her head against his chest. He smelled like parchment and evergreen. "You did terrible things, Draco. But you had some impossible choices to make. I think we all need to find a way to atone for what we've done."
"I don't think my soul can be saved."
She forced him to look at her. "Under all that bravado and fear, there's a good man. Find him. Find a way to live with what you've done. You have a beautiful soul."
"You don't know what I've done," he whispered.
"I don't," Daphne admits. "But what's done is done. Every day is a new day. We can decide who we want to be. There's still time to change."
There was a look in his eyes that she couldn't place. Her heart was pounding in her chest as she realized how close she was to him. Daphne had always been attracted to him, but she hadn't thought of him as anything more than a friend. Her breath caught in her throat as he leaned in, his lips brushing hers gently before claiming her in a bruising kiss. It was like Draco lit a fire within her as she pulled him closer to her. He had always been off limits, forbidden, but he was here and -
It felt like cold water had been poured over her. Daphne pulled away and scrambled up, backing away from him. "I shouldn't have done that," she muttered. "Pansy is going to kill me."
"I'm not interested in Pansy. I made that clear to her this morning."
"She's my friend."
Draco ran his hand through his hair. "And she's mine. I don't want to hurt her."
"Good. Then we're on the same page. Nothing can happen between us."
"There's something here. I know you can feel it too."
Daphne shook her head. "I can't. I'm sorry."
She fled into the castle, grateful that Draco didn't follow. Her thoughts scattered as she tried to figure out what to do. Daphne couldn't talk to Milicent about it. It wouldn't be fair to put her between her and Pansy. Daphne had to tell her what had happened. The closer she got to the common room, the more certain she felt that it was the only course of action. Secrets didn't remain secrets for long. It would be better if Pansy heard it from her. No matter the consequences.
The blonde squared her shoulders before entering her dorm as if she was going to battle. When she stepped into the dark room, Daphne was relieved to see that her roommates were all asleep. Pansy's face was peaceful, her black hair fanned over her pillow.
Daphne crawled into bed feeling guilty. How could she have betrayed Pansy? Draco was right. They had a moment, one of vulnerability and comfort. He hadn't judged her for the things she had done and it meant more than she could express. But nothing could come of it. Pansy was her best friend. It was that simple.
Sleep was elusive that night.
