Universe: Ultimate
Characters: Integra, Seras, Pip
Relationship: Integra/Seras
Warnings: Mentions of voyeurism and fetishization of F/F relationships
Integra Hellsing did not do things by halves.
Which was not to say she did not put thought into her choices: as a matter of fact she put in quite a bit. It was only to say that when she made a decision, she did not second-guess it: she did not hem and haw over what was most important.
She had known what she was doing when she had invited Seras Victoria into her bed.
…or at least, she'd thought she knew what she was doing.
Now, she was lying halfway in her bed, her clothes half off and her arousal half sated, trying to figure out what in the name of all that was holy could have gone wrong.
Might it have something to do with the fact that Seras had been about to jump in bed with someone who was, quite technically, her boss? Granted, they'd talked about it beforehand, and Integra thought that she had made it clear that her proposition was not an order, but an invitation to be taken only at free will, but… maybe her assurances hadn't been enough, and Seras had felt herself to be under uncomfortable pressure. It would certainly explain why the young vampire had suddenly gone stiff as a board before leaping out of bed as if she'd been scalded, and promptly run into the bathroom while babbling out something that sounded vaguely like "I'm sorry, I'm feeling—that is, I have to— berightbackIhavetogo!"
If Integra had been dealing with a human partner, she would have suspected a bout of illness, or some other bodily function making itself known at an inopportune time. Such as it was, however, she knew damn well that vampires were subject to no such thing, and Seras could not possibly be sick—not unless she'd tried to eat something she shouldn't again, in which case they would certainly be having words.
Integra shook her head. She was overthinking this—more likely than not, Seras had just gotten cold feet, and been too embarrassed to say as much outright. If Integra was honest with herself, she was somewhat nervous, and she couldn't expect a partner who was also going into this virgin to be completely at ease. Sighing, she pushed herself into a sitting position against the headboard, straightened her blouse (though she didn't bother to button it up again—who knew; maybe they'd be able to pick up again where they'd left off), and reached for the cigar box. She'd just flicked the lighter when Seras's voice exploded from behind the bathroom door.
"We need to talk."
Integra's eyebrows rose up into her hairline. She flicked the lighter off and set the cigar aside unlit. Before she could formulate a fitting response to the unprecedented aggression in the vampire's tone, though, Seras spoke again.
"You know damn well what I'm talking about!" Well, at any rate, that made it clear she wasn't talking to Integra, who continued to listen nonplussed.
"I have boundaries, Pip, and I expect them to be respected!" A pause, as if she was listening to a response. "This isn't a battle! No, you don't get to watch!"
Now she had the gist of what was going on. There was another long pause while Integra, smirking with amusement, reached once more for the neglected cigar. "Well, figure it out!" Seras yelled as she flicked the lighter.
The bathroom door slammed open. Integra raised her eyebrows at Seras over the lit end of her cigar. The young vampire was breathing heavily, her face flushed, though her clenched fists indicated that those particular reactions were due to anger rather than lust. Pity.
"Trouble with your familiar?" Integra asked lightly, exhaling smoke. She made no effort to hide her amusement.
Seras looked at her plaintively, looking so much like a kicked puppy that Integra had to laugh. "Can we just cuddle for now?"
A/N: It doesn't actually matter who Seras is paired up with for the purposes of this bit of crack. I went with Integra because Alucard/Seras squicks me.
For the record, I don't think Pip's continued presence in Seras's mind is incompatible with her having other love interests at some point in her life. As a matter of fact, this crack idea was born of my own ponderings on the ridiculousness of the ship wars, and the amount of hate that Pip apparently gets for supposedly being "in the way" of the Seras ship of choice, if anything I think that her pleasure is his now and he would be perfectly happy about—DAMN IT BRAIN!
