Disclaimer I do not own Spooks. No copyright infringement intended.
Drive
Ruth sat quietly next to Harry as he drove along the motorway towards Exeter. The regular motion of the windscreen wipers almost dulled her into sleep. She glanced out of the window as Harry drove along in silence, Radio 2 the only sound in the car. Harry had only driven there once, when he had gone to speak to Ruth's mother all those years ago. He bit back the memory, the older woman had barely registered what he was saying. It was then he realised she had been in the early stages of Dementia. Ruth looked out the passenger window as she thought about her last visit to the Nursing Home where her mother lived. She had only been there once since she had returned from Cyprus. She smiled slightly as she remembered the conversation she had with Harry in his office after she had visited her mother. The greatest shock had been that the older woman hadn't even realised her only child had supposedly 'died' so it hadn't been the greatest shock to see Ruth in the doorway of her room. The greatest shock for Ruth was that her mother didn't even recognise her anymore. Smiling slightly she remembered telling Harry about her visit, sat on the battered old sofa in his office just before she had kissed him. It had been their first kiss since she had got home. Harry glanced at her as he drove, glad to see she was no longer looking quite so fragile.
"Ruth?"
Ruth turned to face him.
"I'm ok"
"Do you want to stop on the way? Get something to eat? I know you haven't eaten since I got back from Whitehall" Harry overtook the fiesta that was going painfully slow in front of them.
"No, I'm fine. I was just thinking"
"Oh" Harry kept his eyes on the road. "About what?" He couldn't help but smile as she blushed profusely.
"You"
"Me?"
"Kissing you, that night in your office when everyone had gone. I made coffee for us. After Nightingale before Albany" Ruth rested her head against the car seat.
"I bought you chips" He smiled at the memory.
"Yes, yes you did" Ruth sighed as she remembered kissing him senseless on the doorstep of her safehouse flat as the rain soaked them. Harry chuckled to himself as he pulled the car off the motorway. Ruth rolled her eyes, Catherine had been right, he did laugh like Muttley.
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Lucas looked up from his desk as he heard raised voices from Harry's office. Zaf raised his eyebrows as Towers stormed out the office followed by a rather shocked looking Malcolm. Ros remained behind talking on the phone.
"You alright Malcolm?" Zaf laughed as the older man nodded.
"Yes thank you Zafar" Malcolm sat at his desk as he tried his best not to feel sorry for the Home Secretary. It seemed the large set man had forgotten Ros had dealt with both his predecessors just as effectively. The fact Andrew Lawrence was still alive was due to Ros. He took a deep breath as Beth placed a coffee on his desk.
"You look like you need it"
"Thanks, I think I do" Malcolm glanced back towards the office as Lucas got up and decided to see what was going on.
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Ros closed her eyes as she put the phone back on Harry's desk. She was furious but hiding it well, although Lucas had the distinct impression she hadn't hidden it from William Towers. Lucas leant in the doorway as he watched his wife.
"Ros?"
"Bloody man"
"Towers or me?" Lucas smiled as Ros rolled her eyes.
"How does Harry put up with the politics in this job? I really don't think I could do this permanently. Not without commiting murder" Ros leant against the desk as Lucas approached her. He rested his hands on hers as she looked at him.
"I don't know what you said but it certainly made Malcolm blush" He watched as Ros stared at him deadpan.
"Malcolm always blushes. That infernal man had no idea what we do, what we have to do. He had no bloody clue as long as it looks good on paper, aslong as he can walk into Parliament and look good" Ros closed her eyes. "He wanted all the information on New Wave. Too many loose ends."
"You said that yourself Ros"
"Yes I know. But him walking in here and acting like a bloody Headmaster isn't going to help us tie them up. I may have said that he should get out of the Grid, let us get on with work and stop throwing his considerable weight around" Ros sighed. "Not very diplomatic"
"You and diplomacy is not exactly something I'd put together" He smiled as she nodded.
"Beating around the bush has never really got me anywhere has it" Ros stepped away from Lucas.
"What did you actually say?"
"Nothing"
"Ros"
"If you must know he mentioned my relationship with Andrew Lawrence. I informed him there was no such relationship and if he wanted to remain in the office he was welcome to do so. Aslong as he kept pushing bits of paper aroune and left the difficult work to us" Ros watched as Lucas smiled.
"You said that?" Lucas shook his head.
"Yes, and now I believe we have work to do" Ros watched as Lucas gave her a mock salute.
"Yes Boss" He laughed as she rolled her eyes. As far as Ros was concerned she couldn't wait for Ruth and Harry to get home. Lucas returned to his desk to see Dimitri and Adam arrive back on the Grid. Neither looked particularly happy. He had a feeling they were in for a challenging few days.
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Harry parked the car outside the small B&B he had arranged for them to stay in as Ruth looked out of the window. The rain had mercifully stopped as they had arrived in the town. Ruth frowned as she made to get out the car.
"This wasn't a B&B when I lived here" She looked over the roof of the car at Harry. He nodded as she turned and looked at the house.
"Only opened last year. I thought this was better than staying in the centre of town, it's nearer the hospital anyway" He shrugged as he walked to the boot of the car to retrieve their bags. Ruth sighed as she went to help him.
"It's nice." Ruth touched his arm as he slammed the boot shut. "I dont think I could have stayed nearer Mum's. This is out of the way"
"Come on then, sooner we get these bags inside, the sooner we can get to the hospital" He watched as she nodded tersley. It was the one thing she had tried not to let herself think about since they had decided to leave home. Harry dropped the bags on the gravel driveway and turned to her.
"I'm ok" Ruth smiled slightly.
"No you're not. I'd be more worried if you were" Harry kept his voice low as she avoided his gaze.
"I'm ok, it's just being back here. Everything has changed but " She shook her head. Harry rested his hand on her cheek, forcing her to meet his gaze.
"You still feel the same?"
"Harry, I work for one of the most prestigious and well respected organisations in the world. I spend hours and hours pouring over information looking for links that no one else could or would see. We work all the hours God sends to catch people that would destroy the world as we all know it. People that would murder indescriminately without a second thought, for money or an ideology no one in their right minds would understand, yet when I'm stood here it's like none of that matters and I'm still just as terrified as I was the day my aunt came to collect me" Ruth looked out over the garden behind the car.
"Yes what we do is important" Harry kissed her forehead "And sometimes it scares the Hell out of me"
"Harry"
"But Ruth, you are not 16 anymore. I wont let anything happen to you" He kissed her forehead as she hugged him.
"I know" She smiled slightly into his shirt. The LandRover momentarily forgotten as Harry held her.
"Ready?"
"Yes" Ruth nodded as she pulled back "I think I am"
"You're not on your own Ruth" Harry held her gaze as she nodded "Just remember, whatever happens you are not on your own"
A/N I really am not sure about this story. First time without any real case so far, also the first time I have focused on feelings and their history. Please review :D
