"Is it in here?" Lin demanded as he practically flew into the kitchen. Madoka looked around at her husband and laughed.
"No, she isn't in here," she said. "Himeko is a person Lin."
"That thing is the devil reincarnated," Lin muttered darkly. "Spawn of evil itself hidden in the body of-"
"An utterly adorable and well behaved six year old," Madoka finished.
Lin scoffed.
"Uncle Lin? Where have you gone?" an innocent voice called.
Lin hurriedly turned to Madoka and silently begged her to stay quiet.
"He's in here sweetie!" Madoka shouted. Lin scoffed. "You look just like Noll when you do that," she commented as a dark haired six year old girl ran into the kitchen.
"Uncle Lin? Why did you run away? We have to do your makeup next!"
Himeko took Lin's hand and dragged him from the kitchen. He attempted to use his full height and weight to prevent this from happening but Himeko used PK to help him along in the direction she desired.
Lin heard Madoka laugh behind him.
He knew full well that he could, with the aid of his shiki, take down the demon but thought it would be a little harsh on a six year old.
And Mai might kill him.
And Noll would definitely kill him.
He sighed and let the devil-child drag him to the living room. He was forced to sit down and allow Himeko to prod his face with makeup.
"It reminds me of when Gene and Noll were young," Madoka said from the doorway in Chinese. English and Japanese were out of the question as the spawn of Satan would understand.
"They were not this bad," Lin replied.
"It's rude to talk in another language about me when I'm right here," Himeko said with a scowl. "Mummy said so."
"Who said we were talking about you?" Lin asked.
"Gene does," Himeko said, nodding her head to the corner.
"Gene should keep his mouth shut," Lin muttered darkly.
"What do you think Auntie Madoka?" Himeko asked, ignoring Lin.
"Beautiful," Madoka said. "I think I'll have to take a picture!" She hurried off to find a camera.
"Don't you dare!" Lin shouted after her.
"Stand up," Himeko ordered. "You have to dance now!"
"What?"
Lin felt his body pushed upwards to a standing position.
"You're so old! You can't hear me when I shout or stand up when I ask! How old are you? A hundred? A hundred and one?"
Lin's mouth opened and closed incredulously.
He was so shocked that he didn't even protest as the evil creature began spinning him around. He heard the sound of a camera shutter.
Maybe this was hell? Maybe he had died and gone to hell and this was his punishment for some deed he had committed.
"When are they picking it up?" he asked Madoka as Himeko continued to swirl around to some unheard tune.
"Soon enough. But it is their wedding anniversary, they deserve an evening alone!"
"And I want a sibling," Himeko added, as if she'd understood the entire conversation. "Mummy said that babies happen when two people love each other and they make it together in top secret and then it grows in a mummy's tummy til it's ready. Is that true? But she wouldn't explain what the secret was to making one. Uncle Lin, do you know the secret to making babies? Will you explain?"
If Lin hadn't already been covered in blusher, everyone else would have seen just how red his face was.
"Madoka, maybe you should..."
But when he looked around, Madoka had gone and left him with the demon spawn.
"Don't you know?"
"Well," he began, stalling for time. "Its umm... Complicated."
"Would it be easier if you showed me?"
"What?!"
"Well Mummy always shows me how to do things because it's easier than trying to explain. Like drawing a new kanji or something. Can you show me how to make a baby?"
Lin's eyes widened in fear.
"Well I can't," he stammered. "I don't have anyone to show you with, maybe you should ask your parents."
"But you love Auntie Madoka, don't you? Can't you show me with her?"
"Well, um..."
"Don't you love Auntie Madoka?" Himeko asked. Their 'dance' ended as Himeko stared up at Lin.
"Of course I do but-"
"Noll and Mai are here!" Madoka called.
Lin sighed in relief as Himeko ran off. His shoulders sagged until he heard the voice of that little demon talking to the Devil himself.
"Daddy! Lin doesn't know how to make babies!"
"Really?" Noll replied.
"Yeah! He wouldn't show me how and I think its cos he doesn't know, maybe you should teach him!"
"Maybe I will," he said.
Lin wiped his face clean of the makeup, took a deep breath and walked into the hallway.
"I hear you failed to educate my daughter?" Noll prompted with a smirk.
Lin replied with a glare.
But the demon spawn and family left soon enough, leaving Lin exhausted on the sofa.
"That monster has Noll wrapped around her little finger."
Madoka just laughed.
"Lin, come here," Noll called.
"What is it?" Lin said as he appeared in the doorway.
"Here," Noll said as he held out a book. Lin took it and read the title: Where Babies Come From. "Himeko found it and thought it might help you."
Author's note: Well personally I feel this one went a lot better!
I hope you all think so too!
I think I've learnt that I should stick to dirty/inappropriate humour as its the only thing I can sort of do...
Ah well!
Enjoy :)
