I rewrote Chapter 1 because I felt like it was unfinished, so yeah. I hope you like this chapter!
When I woke up, my head was throbbing. I wore a long sleeve to bed last night and gave the bracelets and band a rest. I knew for a fact that Katie heard the argument last night, even though I didn't intend for it to happen. I got up out of my bed and went into my bathroom to pee and brush my teeth; my mom just made me angry. She still loved the man who cheated, broke her heart, argued with her on a daily basis, left her with a kid and one on the way; it's pretty fucked up.
I peered at my nose in the mirror, to see that it was still red. I had a few bruises, and when I lifted my hair to look at my eyebrow I sighed. A thin line went through near the end, it really bothered me. I've had these bushy eyebrows ever since…forever, and it just pisses me off. I took my finger and ran it over my eyebrow, and…nothing; I half expected for it to disappear but the Doc did say to expect the hair to fall out. I walked out of my bathroom and stood at my door, I couldn't hear my mother and it's Tuesday. I slowly opened the door to an empty kitchen, and living room. I stepped out cautiously looking for her.
"Mom?" I called, but heard nothing in return. As I drew closer to Katie's room, which is down the hall from her's I could hear sobs. I stood in front of my mother's door and I could hear her painful sobs. I knocked lightly on the door.
"Just a minute" She said, I knew she was wiping her tears away and covering up so I opened the door, seeing her quickly wipe away a few stray tears.
"Mom, I'm sorry. I never meant to yell at you" I told her, she nodded and pinched her lips in an effort not to cry anymore. I stepped into her clean room and quietly closed the door, and hugged her; at first she froze, and I squeezed her and she broke down all over again. It made me feel guilty knowing I was the cause of all these tears.
"I'm sorry" I told her, if I hadn't of lost my temper and got into a fight none of this would've happened or if James wouldn't have been such an asshole.
"It's not your fault Kendall" She was doing the same thing I was doing; blaming myself
"It's not yours either. You can't control your feelings, I shouldn't have said that" I told her, I could feel her shaking her head
"No, you were right" She said, if I was, I didn't want to be right in that way.
"But I should've said it differently" I told her, she didn't say more which meant that she was right.
"You're suspended for the rest of the week" She commented, I nodded.
"Mom, I have to wake Katie. She's gotta go to school" I told her, she nodded and let go of me "Go lay down, I'll take care of it" I told her, she was so hesitant to let me, but gave in. I walked out her room and down the hall to Katie's, and she was still sleeping; I did notice her swelled eyes which meant she did hear our argument. I walked over and pulled the blanket over her shoulders and kissed her forehead. I peeked my head back into my mother's room.
"Mom, what were you going to do today?" I asked her
"Grocery shopping" She said, I nodded
"Why don't you let me do it? Where are the keys?" I asked her
"In the dish on the stand by the door, and the list is in the drawer with the money. Kendall, please be careful" She said, I nodded
"I will" I closed her door, and went into my bedroom quickly changing and slipping on the yarn bracelets and headed out to the kitchen. I looked in the drawer and found the list and cash, looking over the list as I headed towards the door. I grabbed the keys, and locked the door; making my way to the elevator. Just as I started, the doors were about to close
"Can you hold it please?" I said and ran, to catch it. Slender fingers curled around the door, and as I got closer I realized it was Logan.
"Kendall, thank God your okay!" I laughed as I stepped onto the elevator
"Yeah, I'm fine. I uh have temper problems" I mentioned to him, he nodded
"Where ya going?" He asked
"Grocery store. Aren't you late for school?" I asked him, he nodded
"Yeah. My mom thought it'd be nice to let me stay home but I can't too much going on" I scoffed. He's such a nerd, but a nice nerd.
"Just wanna see Carlos" I said, he blushed and took a breath, holding it to think about what to say as I waited for his answer
"Nuh Uh!" I laughed and the child like sound left his mouth, and once he realized, he laughed too "You walkin' there?" He asked
"No, mom's car. Hey, you think after school you could show me to the mall? Trying to get a job" I told him, he smiled
"Sure" He said, as we left the elevator, and past Mr. Bitters.
"Ken-dall!" He yelled I laughed
"Suspension" I called, I was starting to like the chubby man. He's alright
"Lo-gan!" He yelled, I laughed
"I'm late for school!" He yelled back as we walked out the door, Logan started down the street
"Come on, I'll give you a lift. You'll get there faster so you can see Carlos" He glared at me, as I chuckled and unlocked the doors.
"You're never letting me live this down are you?" He asked, I smiled as we put on our seatbelts, and I started the car.
"Nope" I told him, as I began driving, he laughed and I smiled. As I pulled up, I saw him and I grimaced
"I thought he was suspended" I mumbled, Logan nodded. Why the hell would you show to school while you're suspended?
"He is, I dunno why he's here though. Thanks for the lift" He said over his shoulder as he lifted himself from the seat.
"Yeah see ya" I called, he in fact wasn't even that late; there were a bunch of kids outside. As he ran up the steps I decided to give him some advice "TRY NOT TO LOSE PLAYING TONSIL HOCKEY!" I could tell he flushed bright red before he flipped me off and glared at me. I could see Carlos, walking up to him, trying to hide his laughter. I noticed that James saw me, and he had the meanest glare in his eyes even though he wore glasses. I ignored him, and drove off to the supermarket; I've done this all before and every time it gets worse. By 'this' I mean get my mom upset, make Katie cry and take over everything. Most of this stuff usually took me no time, but since we moved I haven't had a chance to actually roam around on my own. It's was okay, I mean I got occasional stares because of the bruises and other than that I was fine.
To be honest, I liked to grocery shop. It gave me time to be just me, and be alone with my thoughts; when I was younger I used to absolutely hate it. I always thought of it was my mother dragging me along on an invisible leash, some of my thoughts in adolescence were a little…yeah. I went through the list in no time, and to be honest I was glad that I was; because I badly needed a fucking cigarette. As the man checked out the items and bagged them, I kept thinking about a cigarette. I hurriedly paid her and grabbed the bags and walked to the car, looking around to see if I could find a convenient store. Luckily, there was one but since my cash was stashed home, I'd replace it when I got there. I shut the trunk and began walking to the adjacent store. Fuck, they had the age warning sign, I looked around and noticed this random guy standing there.
"Hey buddy. I'll give ya five bucks if you go get me a pack of cigarettes" I told him, usually I'd have a friend who'd get them for me but we moved.
"…..yeah okay" He shrugged his shoulders and I handed him a ten as he went into the store. I could probably talk to Scooter, the friend who'd get my cigarettes before and see what he could do. The man came back out and handed me the package.
"Thanks man" I said, and nodded towards him. I turned around and tried to make my way to the car until he called after me.
"Hey kid" I turned around "You should quit those soon"
"I'm not that...- yeah, I should" I said to him, and began walking back to Mom's car. She'd kill me if she found out that I smoked, even if it's not that often she'd still kill me. I pulled out of the parking space and drove a little further down and stopped at a park; I left my lighter hidden in my room, so I had to use the car's. I remember when I was younger and I pushed it in, I swear I broke it and I tried to fix it; my mother laughed, and explained to me what it's for in my panicked state. I tapped out a cigarette and lit it, stepping out of her car and walking on the damp grass and sat on a bench. As I inhaled the gaseous addictant, a few thoughts raced through my head. I wonder how it's going to be when I start school again? What are the teachers going to think? What are the students going to try now?
My mom would kill me if she found me smoking, or cigarettes in my room. I sat there basking in the alone time, as I felt someone shift the wood of the bench. I looked over and groaned, there saw high and mighty James. I sighed and tugged up my right arm sleeve to my elbow in frustration.
"Can I bum one?" I looked at him, he smokes? The egotistical James Diamond smoking, I scoffed yeah right. The guy who fucking broke my nose is right now asking me for a cigarette, small world right? When I didn't say anything, he sighed and started patting himself in search of a cigarette; then I heard him clicking his lighter, the white cloud of smoke rising and fading on the edge of my periphery.
To be honest, I wanted to know why the hell he's here. With me, sitting down on the bench smoking; and just yesterday were we about to kill each other.
"No bullshit. Why are you here?" I asked, as I took a long drag
"Smoking" He answered matter of factly. As I looked over at him, I could see his right jaw was swollen, and I could see the purple shades rimming his eyes.
"I'm serious" I said and blew the smoke to the side, never looking away from him
"I am too" I sighed, this conversation was getting pointless and frustrating already. I sighed and juggled the cigarette in my hand as I yanked my other sleeve up. I scratched the back of my head with my right hand, not thinking about what to say but just at the awkwardness.
"You shouldn't do that" Broke the silence, and as I was about to ask him, clear as day I could see the scars peeking out from the braided yarn. Not realizing that I didn't put on the leather band I quickly tugged my sleeves down; a wave of panic washed through me as I took another long drag.
"Don't tell me what to do" I retorted, he better keep his fucking mouth shut. He better not say a fucking thing to anyone about this, he better not fucking tell Lo-
"You shouldn't. You'll have those fucking scars forever" He said, I sighed. Trying to calm and distract myself with the cigarette between my lips.
"Like I said, don't fucking tell me what to do" I said, a little loudly to him
"No. You'll have those scars forever, always behind your back telling and reminding you of how fucked up things used to be and how fucking bad-"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP" I yelled at him, as I snapped my head to look at him "You don't fucking know me and you don't fucking care, so stop acting like it!" I said sternly to him. His lip set in a straight, hard line; I couldn't tell if he was looking at me through the glasses, but he did nothing but put his cigarette to his lips.
"You really need help" He was pissing me off, irritating me, getting under my skin
"And you really need to shut the fuck up" I told him, he doesn't need to be in my fucking business, to be snooping around. Just because I cut my fucking wrist doesn't fucking mean I put them there for people to see. It's my fucking problem, not theirs and I fucking hate it when they tell people; if it's not your fucking wrist shut the fuck up and sit the fuck down.
"Eyebrows, what's your problem?" It's so fucking ignorant of him when he comes and does this shit. I don't like that fucking nickname, at all.
"What's your fucking problem? We beat the shit out of each other, and now you wanna talk like everything's fucking peachy" I told him, I flicked the cigarette and watched the ashes quickly fall to the ground.
"Peachy?" He asked, he was pissing me off.
"Shut the hell up" I told him, he smiled. It wasn't that it pissed me off, it was weird to me; here I was telling him to shut the hell up.
"What the fuck's so funny?" I asked him, he shook his head and let out a chuckle. By this time, I really wanted to know what the hell was wrong with him.
"You say 'fuck' a lot" He said….okay. That's um, nice to fucking know I guess?
"Okay" I answered. We sat in silence as we spoke, neither of us saying anything but just sitting and watching. I looked at my watch, it's almost 3 "Damn" I mumbled.
"What?" He asked, I quickly blew out some smoke
"I gotta go pick Logan up. He's showing me to the mall" I don't know why I fully explained it, but I did. I got up, squeezing a few extra inhales out of the cancerous stick.
"Oh, tell Logan I said 'sup" I nodded, as he got up and flicked his cigarette to the ground and stomped it.
"Yeah, sure" I said, as I double checked for my keys and began walking towards the car.
"Eyebrows" He called, I turned around and looked at him; a 'what' expression on my face.
"You really shouldn't do that" I sighed with the telling-me-what-to-do shit. I sighed, slowly nodding, and then answered him back.
"You really shouldn't tell people how to live their lives" I told him, I opened the car door and slid inside. Just as I was starting the car, I could see James walking off. I pulled up in front of the school, to see Logan waiting for me outside.
"I need to stop by my house first" He said as he got in, I nodded
"Oh, yeah and James said 'sup" I told him, his eyebrows furred as the inaudible question was asked
"Long story" I told him, smirking as we drove off towards our building
I took the groceries in and told my mom that I was going to be right back, and that a friend needed my help at the mall. I didn't tell her that I was getting a job because she would've stopped me, and when we did get to the mall, it was like a game of '20 questions' and 'spot the sign'.
"Kendall, that's the seventeenth store we've been in" He said, I groaned. I looked down at my slurpee, as I pushed it around with straw. As I looked, it was the holy grail of my whole objection for this mall visit.
"Loge, look" I nudge him, he shot is head up. I was excited, finally I found the sign and won the games of my little expedition.
"That's a bra store" He answered, I nodded "You wanna work there" He said, a little more surprised than anything.
"Yeah, and plus I need the cash" I said to him, he sighed
"Alright" He said, I threw my slurpee in the trash and walked up with Logan into the bra store. Let's just say a lot of girls don't see two boys walking into a bra store.
"Can I help you?" A woman, about mid 30's approached me, I smiled at her
"I'm looking for a job" I said to her, she smiled. One of those smiles that said 'I don't think so'
"Usually, we only hire girls; it makes the customer feel more at ease" She said, she can't do that right? Loge knows all about shit like this.
"If boys come in here and you turn them down, that's sex discrimination" YES! I told you Loge would know all about this stuff, as always. She was hesitant, about hiring a 17 year old boy; who's hormones were supposedly through the roof.
"If I can guess your bra size, can I get the job?" She laughed, a pale red showing in her cheeks. A seventeen year old asked to guess her bra size…awkward.
"Sure, why not?" She asked. She put her hands on her hips, as I looked at her chest, at first glance, she looked like a 36 D but it was the shirt that fooled you.
"36" I answered, she looked at me, surprised I got half right then straightened herself up; waiting for me to get the other half wrong "DD" I answered, she looked at me; amazed.
"How did you know that? Most girls can't even tell their own size" She answered, I smiled slyly and shrugged
"I've always been good with measurements" I answered, she smiled and stuck her hand out
"You got the job. Can you start Thursday?" She asked, I nodded
"Yes, I'm Kendall" I told her, and shook her hand. She smiled at me as a few giggles were sent my way from the girls peeking out from the rack.
"Well Kendall, I'll be seeing you Thursday" She smiled
"Thank you so much" I told her, she smiled at me and Logan and I walked out
"Well, you got you're job" He said, I smiled
"I know, this is fucking awesome" I told him, finally; and I already know what I'm going to do with the money.
When I got home, I started dinner. My mom was still in her room, and so was Katie; I hated seeing my girls down. I quickly slipped away, sure that nothing was to overcook and knocked lightly on Katie's door before I opened it.
"Katie?" She was on her bed, under the covers. She mumbled a 'go away' and I pulled the blanket off her head "I didn't mean to yell at Mom last night" I told her, she sat up
"Then why'd you do it?" She asked, I sighed to her before I explained
"I was angry, and couldn't control my temper" I told her, my mom and I'd have fights all the time and I hate it.
"I just hate it when you guys fight" She said, I hugged her close and kissed her head
"Me too kiddo" She smiled at me, and I got up to go check on dinner. I didn't noticed that she followed me until I heard the stool under the counter scoot out. I smiled to her, as I went over and turned the radio up; she laughed. My mom used to do this, when we were young. Sing and act like idiots, my mom would do anything to make us laugh. I finished up dinner and Katie went to go get Mom as I set the table. I liked this, having dinner as a family; makes me think that I'm not all that screwed up.
