AN: Thanks for reading and commenting. Hope you're enjoying it :)
Every inch of James was numb. Which was odd because he remembered there being a bomb. He should be in pain, shooting up and down, small and specific, or all over. Not this…this numbness.
Then there was shaking. Just slightly to the shoulder but it was clear someone was nearby and was trying to get him to wake up. Maybe he was numb because of the cold. He had been in the mountains. But then why hadn't they moved him yet? Where was he.
James forced his eyes open, the light painful and jarring, but he kept staring until it finally cleared. He looked around and saw Merlin.
"Good. You're awake. You've been out of surgery was some time and we need to make sure your brain is functioning normally," Merlin replied.
"Well I can tell you I'm thirsty as hell."
"A normal reaction. Good. Just hold on a second."
Merlin quickly came back and held it out with a straw while James gave him a skeptical look. "I'm pretty sure I can at least hold a cup of water Merlin."
"James, you…perhaps with your left hand." Merlin moved and held out the cup on the left side.
Frowning, the feeling of numbness was slowly inching into the worrying category. He managed to life his hand, that wasn't to hard and the movement felt sore (finally some feeling) but his hand was shaking. He could barely keep it still. Despite this, he grabbed for the cup but holding even something that small, it splashed around uncontrollably.
James dropped it, in a way from shock and also anger as he dropped his hand and looked towards the ceiling. "I'm done for, aren't I?"
"You're still likely to live a long life Lancelot."
"Don't call me that," murmured James. He closed his eyes. He tried not to be bitter, to be angry, but god it was tempting. It was tempting to just let out a scream. Instead he replied, "I'm no longer Lancelot. That mantle will be passed on to someone else."
Merlin didn't say anything.
"Come on, you know it. No need in trying to sugarcoat it."
"In that case though there is a possibility you may walk again, it is to small to even get one's hope up. You're nerve endings are damaged in multiple places, they will never heal, and your finer motor skills are to damaged, particularly to the right side. Even if it was for the inability to walk, you'd never be able to stay an agent simply because of that."
"I'm worthless then."
"Lanc-James. Once you heal up some we can move you to a different job. Communications, data analysis, lab work—"
"But those simply aren't my areas of expertise. I'd be a laughing stock. I'm field agent."
"I'm sorry but not anymore."
James closed his eyes. Positive, there had to be a positive side. He finally opened them and looked at Merlin. "At least I'm alive. I suspect the whole candidacy process would be a whole lot more depressing with me dead."
Merlin's mouth twitched but he refrained from actually smiling. "Very true. Percival is here. He's been waiting to see you once you woke up."
"Does he know the extent of the damage?"
"Yes."
"Well at least I don't have to explain it all to him," he murmured. "Let him in."
Alastair must not have been right outside the door because James had several moments to himself. He craned his head to get a better look at what he could see. His right side was more heavily bandaged and now that he was more concentrated on the numbness, he could tell that it the feeling of the bed beneath somewhat disappeared from his midsection and below, including his right arm. Parts of that arm could feel, like desolate islands of still working nerves, but most of it had lost feeling.
James moved the right arm a bit, just to make sure he wasn't paralyzed there and it was poor nerves that kept him from feeling. It moved and James let out a sigh of relief.
He then looked for a mirror but couldn't find one so he simply brought his left hand up and relaxed it against his face. The pressure hurt a bit, so bruising definitely, and he could feel cuts and scrapes underneath his finger tips. But no stitches. Nothing missing. No burn marks. He was still whole despite his condition. Then, the door suddenly opened and James finally saw Alastair in person for the first time in months.
He really wished he could go run and hug him.
Instead, James put on a smirk and said, "Hey Alastair. How are you?"
"Are you really going to try and act all cheery with me?"
"It's either that or drown in the fact I may never be able to walk again. I'd rather be cheery right now."
Alastair simply hummed and sat next to him, softly laying a hand across one of James'. "I wouldn't blame you if you needed to let it out. In whatever form, it wouldn't matter. You have only just learned of the information."
"Yeah but I am alive," muttered James. "I mean, I kind of want to scream but my throat hurts enough right now. Might as well just accept it as it is. Besides, I knew I wouldn't be able to retire from Kingsman from old age. If I'm being honest, I'm surprised I didn't die in the first place."
"Well if I'm being honest, so is Kingsman," Alastair replied, his voice cracking just ever so slightly. "Even if it wasn't the wounds that got you, the cold would have if we hadn't arrived in time."
"Well then I'm happy you did. Though at least that would have been a peaceful way to go. Just blissfully unaware. Much better than getting oneself shot or stabbed or cut in half—"
"James."
"Sorry. Don't mean to be so morbid. I suppose I'm just trying to cope with all this," he admitted. Lapsing into silence for a moment, he then added, "Actually, do you mind if I yell a bit?"
"Do what you need to do."
James did just that, gulping in as much air as he could before letting it out, damn his sore throat. When he was done, he let out a sigh and said, "My throat is not going to thank me for that tomorrow but damn I feel a bit better now."
"You are so odd."
"And you aren't?" asked James with a small grin. "So, who are you going to pick for my replacement?"
"Do you really wish to talk about that now—"
"It's a title Alastair. Yeah, it became a part of me but I'd rather lose a title than my life. Besides I'll…figure something out. Maybe I'll start a knitting club. Oops! Wait, that's not going to work. Never mind," he said as he wiggled his fingers. "I'll start an anti-knitting club."
"I'm sure that would go over splendidly."
"I'm sure it would. Now, who do you have in mind to replace me?"
"We've discussed this somewhat. I think we both know only one person could live up to your reputation."
"I hope you mean that in a good way," James smirked.
"Of course, but with plenty of bad mixed in as well," said Alastair as he gave James a knowing look. "Besides, Roxy has the very making of a Kingsman agent."
"Yes she does," James said fondly. "So when will the Hunger Games begin?"
Alastair rolled his eyes. "We're not killing them off you idiot."
"Whatever. When do they start?"
"Each agent has two weeks to find one. We're also having Amelia, that tech from Berlin, also play a candidate. She'll die probably in the first or second trial."
"I remember her! Lovely young woman. She should do excellent. So, did you bring me anything?"
Alastair frowned. "Like what?"
"Oh come on! Did you really not? It has been months and I haven't even been able to mess with the little fur ball."
"Why would I bring a cat to place that frequently has dogs about it? I may not like cats but that is just asking to put a feline on the menu."
"Oh come on Alastair, you could have done it! Besides, I'm going to be stuck here for a while before I can go home probably and what am I suppose to make for company? Merlin, who I can just barely take that stick out of his ass, and that stuck up prick Arthur? It's going to be hell! And it's been ages since I've seen old 'Sut and I really want to see the kitten you got me!"
Alastair rolled his eyes. "I'll see what I can do but I won't make any promises."
"Yes! So how has Hatshepsut and Saphira been doing?"
"They have gotten along fairly well. Except for when 'Sut sat on the kitten. Saphira didn't like that very much."
James laughed, grinning from ear to ear. "Good to here. So catch me up on everything else. Vincent. Christina. Roxy. Nnenna. What's been going on with everyone?"
"I will in a moment but first I'll need to brief you on what your cover up is."
"Riiight. I'll have to tell others about this," muttered James, clearly not looking forward to that. He let out a small groan and replied, "Alright, you brief me, we can deal with informing people a few days from now and we'll explain in more detail to Roxy afterwards to see if she wants to try and work for Kingsman. But afterwards you are catching me up on everything. Got it? I want to know it all!"
"Of course you do, but first the briefing. Now…"
