May was still crying. She hadn't stopped since Steve had gone to get her. She'd been on the floor, having seen the news and it had taken a while for him to convince her that Peter was alive.
Though, they weren't sure if he'd stay that way.
Bruce had called in every colleague and every favor he had to treat the boy but he was so broken...Bruce had tried to explain from the doorway, adamant that Tony couldn't enter.
"The wounds across his chest are our biggest concern right now. He's lost a lot of blood, that's why his heart had slowed down so much. Helen is using the regeneration halo on him now. It should close the wounds enough to stop the bleeding but with him so weak we won't be able to heal him all the way. He'll still have torn skin and muscle and...they'll likely scar. Even with his enhanced healing."
Tony tried to push through again. "I need to see him, Bruce."
Strong, steady hands caught his frantic ones and held them still. "I can't let you do that, Tony."
The engineer shook his head, desperate. "I don't care what he looks like, I saw him on the street I can handle it. Just let me-"
Bruce was so patient, voice firm as he tried to explain. "It's not that. Peter is one big open wound right now and if any bacteria enters his environment he wouldn't be able to fight it off. Look, after we take care of his chest he's going into surgery for his arm and it'll take the rest of the night. Take May to a guest room and sleep."
Tony wiped a hand over his face and lowered his voice so that May wouldn't hear. "Bruce...what if I leave and he- I told him I wouldn't leave him alone."
Bruce sighed. Being the bearer of bad news was the worst part of the job. "I can't promise you that he'll make it through the night but I can promise you that he won't be alone. I'll stay with him."
Tony knew that it was all he could do and he nodded, scrubbing a hand over his face. He was so tired. "Okay just-tell him I'm waiting for him. And h-hold his hand for me? It makes him feel safe. He told me once."
It was a weak buy for time but he couldn't help himself. Bruce only nodded and looked to someone behind Tony. "Take him to his room and make sure he sleeps. Get him to eat something if you can."
Rhodey's hands came around the engineers shoulders and began to lead him away. "I will. Thanks Bruce."
Natasha was kneeling in front of May and trying to convince her to accept a spare room as Rhodey pushed Tony past them down the hall.
"Let's get you something to eat, okay?"
Tony didn't want to eat and although he was more tired than he'd ever felt in his life he didn't want to sleep. It didn't matter if he wasn't allowed to see Peter he didn't want to leave.
He dug his heels in and stopped, turning around to get back to his kid. "No, I want to stay. If something goes wrong I need to be there."
Rhodey grunted with effort as he grabbed his friend and pulled him back, the two of them wrestling each other in the hall. "Tony, stop!"
"No, I need to be there-"
"Why? Tony, you can't go in! You can't do anything right now!"
Tony shoved at him and darted forward but Rhodey was quicker and wrapped his arms around the others waist, dragging him backwards. "Why? Tell me, why!"
Tony's arms pushed at his but Rhodey just grabbed them and pressed them against the mans chest, holding him still. Tony's eyes were glued to the door he knew Peter was being kept behind, and although he couldn't move his heart still reached out for it.
"Because," his voice was failing, choked by his tears that seemed to never pause. "I need to be able to say goodbye if I have to. I need to be able to tell him I love him. I didn't get to before and it was all I could think about when he was on the street."
Rhodey's grip softened as Tony sank into his arms, now hugging more than restraining his friend. Tony's legs could barely hold him on his feet and his weight threatened to sink them both to the floor but Rhodey held firm, breath still as Tony whispered.
"What if he doesn't know?"
Rhodey closed his eyes against the pain of such simple words because he knew the weight behind them.
He knew that Tony had always been haunted by the words his father had never said to him and that he'd never uttered in return. Just three words that had deprived him of so much and to think that he could have done the same thing to Peter was destroying him.
He forced his voice to hold steady enough for the both of them. "He knows. I promise you, Tony he knows. And you won't have to say goodbye."
He pulled him back and this time Tony let him, stumbling feet following Rhodeys gentle guiding hands to the kitchen.
He was set down in a chair and had a sandwich pressed into his hand, prodding fingers pushing it towards his mouth.
"Eat. You'll feel better."
Tony did, though he looked blank and robotic as he did. Rhodey was worried about him but there wasn't much he could do. He managed to get a glass of water into him without too much complaint before he was gently pulling him from his chair.
"Let's get you to bed, okay?"
Tony was unsteady on his feet, the exhaustion of the day too much and Rhodey only grew more concerned when he stopped walking.
"Tony-"
"This one."
He was pointing to a door but it wasn't his.
"No, your bedrooms-"
"I know. I want this one."
Rhodey wasn't sure what he was thinking but relented and opened the door...and then he understood.
It was Peter's room, still messy from his frantic rush to get to school that morning. Clothes were flung to the end of his bed, comics and textbooks shoved to the side of his desk to make room for the latest LEGO model he'd been working on with Ned. The room was so alive with bits of Peter that Rhodey could almost feel the air change as they went in.
Tony made his way to the desk and picked up a framed photo, Rhodey coming up behind him to see it.
"The science fair at his school." His voice was rough and thick with emotion. He was going to cry again soon and they both knew it but he pushed on, feeling the need to explain.
"He'd been so nervous about it. His uncle Ben usually drove him and then took him out for Pizza after. It was sort of a tradition and it was his first time without it. He didn't even tell me, May did."
Rhodey watched his friend smile, wobbly and weak as he sniffed. "So I called all of you guys and we went to see him. You remember?"
Rhodey nodded, wrapping an arm around Tony's shoulders. "Yeah. We all put on hats and sunglasses like that would hide us and we all spread out in the crowd to see him win first place."
Tony nodded and wiped a hand over his cheek. "He looked so surprised."
He and May had gone up on stage for his winners photo and Peters smile had been bigger than Tony had ever seen it. He'd been so proud.
And Peter had kept the photo. His blinding smile squashed on one side where May was kissing his cheek, with Tony on the other side of him, arm slung around his shoulders.
Tony bit down a sob, chest hurting so badly he pressed a palm to his heart in an attempt to ease the pain. "How does anyone do it? How do they bare to have kids when it hurts this bad?"
"Tony?"
His head turned at the voice, strength crumbling at the sight of Pepper in the doorway. "Pep. Peters-"
She surged towards him and wrapped her arms around him, hand to the back of his head when she felt him shaking. "I know, honey. I know and I'm so, so sorry."
Tony held her and just cried. There was nothing else to do.
