HI GUYS! THANKS FOR ALL THE COMMENTS!

Since you left a comment yhooo roooole!

BTW ..bitten. Is no longer that she is X....pattinson...X

OMC the messenger's monster looks like a headless chicken! - Soz im weird

BTW we are really sorry about taking so long but it was the coursework. Jeez skewl sucks dudezz.

We wont take more than a week next time! We pinkilydinklyhoosdude promise you!

x

Hello pplz! WEESA BAAACK! Omg has anyone seen Star Wars? Isn't JAR_JAR BINKS the most LOLZ character ever! Yeah so, ON WITH THE STORY! Oh yeah and ty for the comments beancakes n CariDee4256 n LookAfterMyHeartILeftItWithYou

=D

Emmett's POV Chapter 2

Jeez it sucks being grounded. Esme is so mean and just to add to my work load I have to wash my t-shirt! I mean trousers, fair enough but my shirt!? What the hell! Why, in the name of vampires, do you have to wash a t-shirt? Who even invented the washy machine? Alice only lets us wear our clothes once anyhoos. I mean come on! I don't even know why we have a washy machine. Speaking of which. Huh, why do people even say that? Who wants to speak about witches? ANYHOO how do you get this thing started? Stupid buttons and dials and switches and whirry thingies that make a funny noise! Confuddling, ee-vil twiddles that are conspiring to take over human-kind with their confuddling, ee-vil ways of confuddling poor humans' minds! Wait a minute, what's that?

"OMICARLISLE! ROSE! ROSE! COME HERE, QUICK!" She hurtled through the door in a panic.

"What? What is it?" she yelled. I pointed to the washy machine.

"There's a snake behind the washy machine," I informed her excitedly. She glared at me.

"You called me down here for THAT!" she hissed. What? What did I do? She stomped upstairs, leaving me behind. All alone. LONELY! I AM SO LONELY!

"EMMETT, SHUT IT!" hmm, Edward must have come back. Great! I HAVE NO BOOOOODIIIEEE! I'M ON MY OWN!

"EMMETT! SHUT UP!" everyone yelled. Oops.

"Did I sing that out loud?" I yelled up. Alice answered.

"If you call that singing then I realise why all the animals drop dead when you hunt!" Huh? I heard everyone laugh.

"I don't get it," I called.

"EMMETT McCARTY CULLEN, IF I HEAR ONE MORE NOISE OUT OF YOU BEFORE YOU'RE DONE THEN I WILL RIP YOUR FINGERS OFF ONE BY ONE AND FEED THEM TO YOU!" Esme screamed. Psh, I've already tasted my fingers.

"And I'll make you food taster for when Jacob is here!" she added.

"NO ESME NO!" I screamed.

"ONE MORE WORD!" she threatened. Damn it. Okay, let's get that snake! Come here, snakey, snakey, snakey! Maybe if I push it out from the wall. Wow damn I'm on a roll today...well mot really technically I'm on the floor but y'no what I mean don't you lil bro. Okay anyhoozz…come here you scary, ugly little snakey poo. Gotcha! Bite.

EWWWWWW you're freakin hard and you have hard liquid in you! What the hell is wrong with you!

EDWARD! Call Carlisle we have an emergency! The snake! It's got hard liquid blood! I don't even think it is a snake! Omc! Edward came into the laundry room.

"Emmett, you idiot it is a wire!"

Edward, I already knew that.

Alice sped into the room and hugged my arm. Huh, she's so small. PIXIE CHILD!

"Uh, Alice, why are you hugging Emmett?" asked Edward annoyed.

Because she loves me more than you, DUH Edward! I thought. He scowled at me.

"Because now, we get to go SHOPPING!" she screamed.

"YAY!" I yelled, "What are we shopping for?" Maybe Rose would model in ToopShoop! Again! Man, she was hot then.

"WE ARE GOING SHOPPING FOR A WASHING MACHINE!" Alice squealed.

"Why?"

She looked at me despairingly.

"Because that 'snakey' was a wire and you ruined Esme's washing machine and we have to get a new one before she notices it's ruined and this is the perfect time to go shopping, actually every time is a perfect time to go shopping because I love shopping and so does everyone else because shopping is the most great, magical, amazing, unbelievable, incredible, extraordinary, excellent, terrific, superb, marvellous, fabulous, wonderful, tremendous, brilliant and amazing thing to do in the whole widest world!" Wow, she said all that in one breath.

"LETS GO!" she grabbed my arm and pulled me out to her Porsche. Man, she can grip hard. I turned on the radio.

"OMICARLISLE! I LOVE THIS SONG!" me and Alice screamed at the same time. We looked at each other in surprise.

"You love this song?" we asked.

"HAHAHA! YOU'RE NUTS! THIS IS A GIRLS SONG!" she yelled.

"IS NOT! IS NOT! IS A GUYS SONG! NOT A GIRLS SONG!" I screamed back.

"GIRLS!"

"GUYS!"

"GIRLS!"

"GUYS!"

"SHUT UP AND LET ME LISTEN!"

"FINE!"

"FINE!"

"ALICE, SHUT UP!" she looked horrified.

"but I want to sing along," she whispered sadly. Um, of course she can sing along! DUDE! Singing along is the BESTEST!

"Ali, just sing," I said happily.

"1,2,3,4" she screamed.

"Sometimes things are really hairy,

Creeping up when you are wary,

Big old eyes all red and glary,

Creatures in the dark are...scary.

Shh

Beneath the bed the ghosts are ooky
Skeletons' bones are kooky
Your teddy bear's name is Pooky
Late at night he g
ets...spooky boo-ba-boo-bum-ba-dum-dum
BOO!

Dippity dee It's only me
Boopity boo I scared you
Flick on the light there's nothing there
Everything vanished in the air

Dippity dee It's only me
Boopity boo I scared you
Flick on the light there's nothing there
Everything vanished in the air

Close your eyes when you are sleeping
Centipedes and spiders creeping
Shadows on the walls come seeking
In the dark you are... freaking boo-ba-boo-bum-ba-dum-dum
BOO!

Dippity dee It's only me
Boopity boo I scared you
Flick on the light there's nothing there
Everything vanished in the air

Close your eyes
Rest your head
Time to go to
Shh
BOO!

Dippity dee It's only me
Boopity boo I scared you
Flick on the light there's nothing there
Everything vanished in the air

Dippity dee It's only me
Boopity boo I scared you
Flick on the light there's nothing there
Everything vanished in the air

Flick on the light there's nothing there
Everything vanished in the air
BOO!"

"Emmett, you just killed all animals in a 30-mile radius," Alice said.

"BOO!" I yelled.

"Saw it. Get out of the car, we're here," she said. Damn, I'll get her next time.

We ran into Curry's singing. Well, I did. Alice just ran screaming. I jumped on top of the till and snarled at the cashier. The gangly teenage boy fell backwards off his chair, white with fright. I did my best King Kong impression, banging my chest going "AHEEAHEEAHEEAH! George, george, george of the jungle, watch out for that TREE!" On the word Tree, I leapt across three aisles, scattering TV's, Video Cameras and 4-in-1 printers with extra effects such laser-vision and lots of exciting buttons that you can press and all sorts of things come out, such as widescreen TV's and all the latest games console and games and orange juice that was high in Emmett-numbers and suuuuuuuggggeeeeeeerrrrrr!!!!!!!

"EMMETT, GET OUT OF THE FREAKING CAR!" Alice screamed in my ear. Dayme, that was a good daydream. I WANNA DO IT!

"Emmett, if you even dare I will tell Esme," Alice warned, seeing what I was about to do. I pouted. She shut her eyes.

"Can't see it, can't see it, STOP GIVING ME THE PUPPY DOG LOOK! OKAY, OKAY, YOU CAN DO IT!"

We ran into Curry's singing. Well, I did. Alice just ran screaming. I bumped into something and bounced back. I looked up and saw the most amazing-est thing I've ever seen in my whole entire long, long life. Alice bashed into me and fell down. I helped her up, still staring.

"Why did you sto-OMICARLISLE!"

"Yeah," I breathed.

"We are SO getting that!" Alice said, bouncing up and down. I bounced with her. We grabbed hands and jumped up and down screaming. An annoyed lady came over.

"Excuse me sir, miss, but may I ask you to KEEP IT DOWN and NOT RUIN MY STORE!" she said. Honestly, humans today, they're so annoying.

"Can't you see, ma'am that me and my very, very, berry sister and me are having a private jumping and screaming moment? Please don't interrupt." We went on screaming and jumping up and down. When we finished we saw a big crowd of people staring at us. A man with a badge that said George J. Ungel, Manager on it looked like his head was about to burst. Wait! Hold Everything! Step back a few paces! George J. Ungel, George JUngel. O…mi…carlisle.

GEORGE OF THE JUNGLE IS REAL! I grinned at him like an idiot. He scowled at me.

"I must ask you to get out of this-" he began.

"We want that," Alice interrupted, pointing at the amazing scene that had us jumping and screaming with excitement.

"-sto-Well then, I can help you!" George of the Jungle changed his tune

"OMC OMC we so want that washy machiney. Mr. Manager carry it to till please" Alice ordered him around. He looked horrified.

"Miss, I can't carry that. It is far too heavy!" He protested. Pshaha! Humans are so weedy. I saw through his disguise, I went up to him.

"I know your secret but don't worry, I won't tell." I whispered. I winked at him. He looked all confuddled. "Mr. George J ungle." I quoted his badge and bent my fingers. Ha! Now he looked scared. He is such an awesome actor!

"HELLO! Is anyone gonna take our washing machine?" Alice demanded.

"I'LL GET IT!" I yelled, making George of the Jungle scream loudly. I picked up the washy machine and carried it to the till. I set it down on top and grinned at the gangly teenage boy behind it. He quickly sorted everything.

"Um, would you like to get a giftcard?" he asked nervously. I spoke before Alice could.

"No, I have to get back before my mum notices that we broke our washy machine and breaks off my fingers and makes me eat them," I told him, happily.

"Um…Okay? Have a nice d…d…day," he stuttered. LOLZ! He's scared of me. I picked up the washy machine and carried it back out to Alice's Porsche.

"Alice? It doesn't fit in!" I looked at her desperately but she had a wide smile on her face.

"I will race you home, and all of a sudden she was off" Whoa the little pixie asked for a race wooooo go Ali baby. I picked up the Mr. Washy machiney "One for the money," I checked my laces, "Two for the show," I tied up my laces, "Three because it comes before four," I got into my start position, "and Here I GO!" I burst out of the car park and ran through the trees. Left foot, Right foot, Left foot, Right foot, Left foot, Right foot, Left foot, Right foot, Left, Right, Left. Left, Right, Left. Running, Running, I love running! Especially when I…ooo! A bird!

YAY! House! I see my home! I'm running home to my wife and children! Okay, not my children, I have no children. I snuck down to the laundry room with our AMAZINGLY COOL BRAND NEW PINK FLUFFY WASHY MACHINEY WITH BLUE AND BLUE POLKA DOT SPOTS!! AND LOTS OF VERY, VERY BERRY EXCITING BUTTONS YOU CAN PRESS!! WOOOOO!! LOLZ! I LUV IT!!

(30 seconds later)

We both got to the house at the same time but Alice obviously being Alice went to dress up Bella and I burst out laughing. Well I didn't burst but I laughed verily beryl loudly. Bella only gave me evils.

"Hey Bella, gonna go play bella Barbie again?" I sneered and Rosalie laughed. Bella just gave me another set of evils and tripped back down the stairs but Edward caught her. OOOOH lover boy slash hero in the house. Sorry I got it wrong. Sexually repressed hero slash lover boy slash OMC don't look at me like that young one. Anyhoos byes Edward im guna be cool and watch the Mr. washy machiney. So ummm… oh yeah ….LOSERPOOS!

(25.3275984 seconds late

OOOOOOh what's this? The POW-err button. OH MY GOD! It's a POW-err button! POW POW POW! OOOOOOh what does this button do? Whoa the washy machiney thing is freakin moving! Oh it's on. I am a genius! Jeez what's with these humans and their words can they just be like on or off? Humans are so freaking confusing!

"Hey Emmett, You done yet!" shouted Jasper who sounded pretty annoyed with all my emotions. LOLZ LOLZ LOLZ LOLZ.

"I only just freakin turned on the washey machi-."

What was I saying damn better say it properly which really sucks it is so freakin long.

"Washing machine" Urgghr the effort. Stupid humans going about their stupid lives with their stupid words. STUPID HUMANS!

It had been two whole minutes now and my trousers and shirt was still not done! How freaking slow was this cool washy machiney? Whoa dude OMFC! Edward! Edward! Listen to me!

"I can hear you Emmett how could I not know that stupid voice?" he said annoyed.

Thanks lil bro never felt so privileged before man.

DUDE!!! The freakin washy machiney thing is spinning around. Whoa….awesome.

Round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round……

(Five minutes and 33 seconds later)

Round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and I'm gay and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round……

WOW I have never been so inspired before. Now I see everything much clearer. I now feel complete. I now know why Esme brought it… so she could look at it going round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round……. I shall also follow my mother's footsteps. I feel like a vampire man. AWESOME DUDE!

Huge GASP it freaking stopped! I mean come on what the hell ppppl! How do I start the magic washy machiney again? Panick Panick Panick Panick.

OOOOH the genius has thought of something no vampire has thought of before! BTW Edward if you can hear me I am the genius! LOLZ LOLZ LOLZ LOLZ.

Maybe if I press the POW-err button. Press. WHOA it is freakin works! Wooooooo dude im so awesome. GO ME! GO ME! GO ME! GO ME! GO ME! GO ME!

"Emmett…honey…sweety…-'dude'- look I gave you this chore to…..-" Esme was red and was violently shaking – again like that mutt. LOLZ LOLZ LOLZ.

"Hey mom look I wanted to apologize for everything so I thought I would buy you a new washing machine with your credit card. Oh yeah it has a thing called super turbo wash. Sounds cool huh?" I nudged her but she was still red but then went pale again.

"Hang on…. wait did you just say it has super turbo wash?" she started bouncing up and down like my little pixie sister. I nodded.

"AAAAAAA OMC your ungrounded emmett eeeeeep I LOVE You!" she pecked me on the cheek and for five and half hours and 30 minutes and 29.76384960521 seconds we sat their watching it going Round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round Round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round Round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round.

WE were so cool! Now I knew I was her favourite. And Machiney was mine.

EDWARD! Just so you know George of the jungle is real I saw him he is so totally my idol apart from Robby Rotten but Anyhoos um yeah.

….. Hey…why is my t-shirt so small? I only washed it 172 times… freaky washy machiney.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________****=P__________________________________________

Okay so that is the whole Emmett part done it was sooo fun!

I hope you like it.

Next up we are going to be doing Carlisle's moment when he feels slightly evil in the hospital room when he goes to fetch some blood for a patient!

OOOOOOOOH what is gonna happen?

To make up for not updating in forever we made this externally superbly duperly long for you! Over 3,000 words!

OMCOMCOMOMCOMCOMC lolz!

Anyhoos we will have the next chapter up by next week on Wednesday or Thursday the latest. PROMISE!

We will do disclaimers in the next chapter. We don't own twilight Stephanie Meyer does although we do have the books from water stones……..LOLZ

BYE GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

=D - I am not disturbed! =S

YAYZ! YAYZ! YAYZ! WE DID IT! WE DID IT PPPPPPPLZ!!

Our chapter is now out and we made it the most longest chapter we've written in this whole 2 chapter story so far!!!! YAYAYAYAYAYAY!!

(sadia is disturbed!)

OMC! WAT WEDNESDAY OR THURSDAY! Ok um, that maaaaay not happen but we will try!!

SHOPHIE! =D

We love Robert pattinson and I shall marry him mwahahaha

Hahaha now I have 12 lines

Loser

14 lines

X

15 lines

Yayay

18 lines

SHUT UP! U are sooooo childish! BYEZ GUYS!!

If you read all that then you should find better stuff to do with your time baii

Shut up I just know how to have fun loser! Poobum

20 lines

=D

22 lines

We hate Robert Pattinson SAVE! SAVE! SAVE!

I am the 1 marryin him so ohwell - 23 lines