The Second Summer
After the first summer, King Gerald chaperoned Kyle's stay in Kupa Keep for many years after. Why? His once quiet and dutiful son had returned in the fall willful and outspoken and it very much alarmed him. Whatever happened in the human kingdom had drastically changed his son's personality. It was only logical as his father to witness what stirred Kyle's once pure spirit into such negativity over one small human child.
It didn't take too long, however. Kyle had spent all winter determined to make his father see reason that Eric was corrupt and conceited deep within his soul; he was not a suitable husband for the future King of the Drow. His long and often winded speeches went unheard for they ended up back in Kupa Keep the following summer to try again.
Like two unfriendly hounds, Kyle instantly took Eric's bait the moment they saw each other again. Gerald had spent the introductions watching them insult each other until one gave in under pressure and turned it into a physical altercation. He watched with concern as Kyle cleverly used his faster reflexes to roll his rotund fiancé around the grass while Eric howled and cried for his mother. Garrison and Mackey managed to pull them apart, but it was pretty obvious that refereeing their fights will have to be added to their resumes from now on.
While Kyle truly believed Eric would grow up to be some kind of villain, Gerald wanted to hope that Eric's behavior was simply due to his age and perhaps a lack of a paternal figure in his life. Liane was notorious for being a kind and almost too gentle of a ruler - so much so that Garrison was the one who maintained an aggressive status quo to avoid her being taken advantaged of by her own court. He had no doubt she graced her son with parenting similar to how she ruled.
He himself had never witnessed the brunt of Eric's disregard for authority figures. Eric had always been very formal and cordial to the king with respect befitting a young prince. From a first glance, it would seem as if Kyle was exacerbating Eric's negative qualities for the sake of ruining the engagement.
At least, that was Eric had told him in private.
"Oh yes, I just don't understand," Eric told him sadly. "I try to be a good fiancé, but Kyle just won't stop being so mean to me. I just wanted to bring our kingdoms together in harmony - is that too much to ask?"
Gerald decided Eric was a very good actor. Perhaps that only further reinforced how important this engagement was. Kyle kept his heart on his sleeve so religiously, it could be just as much of a hindrance to a ruler as it was a benefit.
But Eric knew subterfuge. Like Garrison to Liane, he could protect Kyle from the dirtier matters of court politics.
For now, both boys were being downright ridiculous, but he gave them the benefit of the doubt and decided that time would be on his and Liane's side. They were only children after all. They would grow out of it.
During the afternoons, Gerald and Liane tended to retire in one of the grand studies to go over territory disputes and trade routes. It was relatively quiet for once - or perhaps Kyle and Eric were still 'playfully' dueling somewhere in the other side of the castle. It wouldn't be the first time half of the entire castle were disrupted by whatever scheme Eric pulled just to rile his fiancé, no matter how petty it was. If they weren't careful, this extreme version of pigtail-pulling might leave Liane's tapestries burned in their wake. Kyle did start learning fire magic this year.
Gerald sighed peacefully and brushed a bit of ink off the exposed map on the table. Liane's soft voice weaved in and out about a garden she had planted to make Kyle's stay more comfortable. Elves never did too well living in castles - and Kyle had complained last summer about the stone walls disrupting his magic and triggering his claustrophobia.
"Eric wasn't too happy to hear we converted his pony stables to make room," Liane continued from the window as she observed the gardeners work the grounds below, "but I told him that sacrifices must be made for the sake of his beloved."
He frowned as she hummed nonsensically, completely unfazed by what ill she must have wrought from her actions. "While I appreciate what you're doing for my son, it might not help our cause by continuing to step on Eric's toes. Their animosity seems to be growing every single day, Liane. Resentment will only breed more problems between them."
"On the contrary, I've never seen Eric so devoted to Kyle," Liane turned and sat down opposite of him with a smile. "Did you know that the staff have been complaining about Eric less with Kyle in the castle?" She lifted a small porcelain bowl. "Sugar?"
He waved the offer before returning to his tea. "No thank you. With all due respect, I think it's because Kyle gets in his way. My son's always been quite opinionated when it comes too… erm… people opposite his viewpoint. If Eric is doing things that Kyle doesn't agree with, he'll have no trouble letting him know about it."
Liane accepted the refill of hot tea offered by Lord Mackey. "Oh, it's so exciting! An actual engagement of opposite attraction! It's almost like a fairytale."
"Is… was this common last summer?" he asked Liane in bewilderment. Kyle always exhibited maturity at home, but these days it seemed as if a wraith possessed his frail son and fueled the long dormant hot-tempered attitude his mother was famous for. Whether this was a good or bad thing remained to be seen.
She smiled apologetically. "Oh, yes. From your letters, I didn't expect Kyle to be so… energetic. I expected him to be bedridden for most days, but I suppose Eric can't leave him well enough alone. I'm so sorry."
"No, no…" he trailed off, his sharp frown receding. "I'm just surprised is all. I just never considered Kyle keeping up with the other kids like that."
With a content hum, blue eyes twinkled with a strange bit of wisdom that caught Gerald off guard. "You'd be surprised how easily children bounce back with the right motivation. Even little ailing ones like Kyle."
What they didn't know about was how deep Eric's resentment ran for Kyle. After sleepless nights dreaming of Kyle's insipid smirk throughout the first summer, Eric decided his life's mission was to do more than ruin the engagement. He wanted to ruin Kyle's stay so badly he'd rather kill himself than come back to Kupa Keep again.
In the first summer together, Eric quickly began a routine of waking the poor boy up at the ass crack of dawn, belittling his gay exercising ("I don't expect a fatass like you to know what yoga is!" Kyle had snarled), and became an insufferable jack hat when he took his daily elixirs.
Kyle's cool facade barely lasted half a day before he snapped over Eric's remark about Judaism. And before Eric could file that insult away for future reference, Kyle punched him like a goddamned mule so he ended up missing his tutoring session with Lord Garrison to fix his busted nose.
But the karma train to hell didn't stop there that day. Garrison gave Eric an earful for being tardy and made good on his threat to get him to exercise. Eric ended up gasping and heaving through his jog around the knight's courtyard while Kyle and Stan shared lunch with Butters and Kenny - who would later infuriate Eric more by saying how entertaining and friendly Kyle and Stan were.
"If you like them so much you marry them, you traitorous assholes!" he snarled during dinner, which meant he had to be sent back to his room without his meal… again.
This became an off-and-on occurrence between him and Kyle throughout the first summer. Sometimes he'd be successful enough that Kyle would lock himself in his quarters for the entire day, leaving Eric blissfully free of gingers just the way he liked it, but it didn't last long. Kyle was just so damn entertaining, Eric would visit Kyle's quarters in the eve like the smug little shit he was and rub in more insults just to bask in that furious aura Kyle would unleash just for him. No one else could pluck at Kyle's strings so perfectly or make the elf boy sing a cacophony of squeaks like Eric could.
For instance, after they got married, he told Kyle he would be forced to wash his underwear for the rest of his life. That insult usually generated a mixture of disgust and alarm so he liked to use that sparingly for variety's sake.
Or his personal favorite, threatening to lock Kyle up in the tallest tower of the castle because having an ugly ginger Jewish elf as his husband was already punishment enough for him. Sometimes that would get Kyle to tackle him and, if Eric was insanely lucky, he'd manage to pin Kyle down and try to play ookie mouth on him while Kyle squealed and alerted his personal guard.
The last time that happened, it was Stan who arrived first to break him up. Then that asshole told Kenny, who kept going on about how gay it was trying to get his spit into Kyle's mouth. He stopped doing that afterwards. No way in hell would he ever want to swap spit with the jewrat like the other gross royal couples that frequented the court.
Aside from that, he made a habit of watching those pale freckled cheeks glow in anger before he exploded in human swears and a foreign language Eric was sure was either Yiddish or Elvish. It became commonplace to hear Kyle's screams so often that it invaded his dreams like some kind of demented lullaby.
At first, he thought that he could run Kyle down like he did with Butters who was both obligated and too nice to stand up to his prince. But being in a foreign country where Eric's opinion swayed a hanging didn't stop Kyle from dishing out the belittling in equal measure. He especially enjoyed insulting Eric's weight - being plump was grotesque in elf culture apparently - and it was an easily accessible sore spot to get Eric's blood boiling.
He wasn't the only one who noticed the change in Kyle. Stan was firmly in Kyle's corner throughout most of their fights, but he liked to inform Eric time and time again that he was only contributing to extending the elf's health. Putting Eric in his place and ruining his schemes only made Kyle more energetic with each success.
But Stan was a no-good dirty human traitor so Eric took his words with a grain of salt.
What he didn't expect was Kyle's father to stay for the rest of this summer, so he had to keep himself on his best behavior to deter suspicion. He already suspected Kyle complained to King Gerald about his behavior, so watching Kyle simmer in anger while Eric acted out the perfect unsuspecting fiancé to the King of Elves was so delicious he kept on doing it long after it was needed.
But this? What he found his mother doing with his stables? This was unacceptable. These elves and elf sympathizers were slowly trying to creep their influence through the stone of this castle like invasive ivy just so they could choke them all in their sleep.
Eric knew this because every night this summer he dreamed of Kyle straddling his belly while choking the life out of him. Sometimes Kyle even got his revenge and tried to play ookie mouth on him. The most horrifying part of the whole dream was waking up to find that he enjoyed it.
Kyle tried meditating again. He sat on the floor at the foot of his grand bed, folded his legs, and attempted to draw upon the magic of nature that crept beyond the man made walls. It was more difficult here than at home. Oftentimes his consciousness would end up entangled around the emotional disarray of humans in the marketplace - or Eric would come by around this time to bang on his door knowing that it would spite him.
This time the interruption wasn't from Eric, but from a stone tossed at his balcony. Kyle sighed, unfolded himself, and picked up one of his morning elixirs on his way outside.
He found Stan grinning up at him from the grounds. "Hey Kyle! Wanna take a ride down to the beach? Kenny said there's going to be a carnival down there to commemorate some anniversary or something!" Kenny giggled by Stan's side.
Being near the ocean was too tempting for the forest elf. Kyle grinned back and eagerly nodded. "Okay! So long as no one tells fatass!"
Kenny pouted. "Aw, man… we can't double date?"
"D-double date?" Stan squeaked at her just as Kyle quickly closed the curtains and abandoned his elixir to put on his cloak. By the time Kyle threw open the heavy door he almost ran into Eric, who looked as if he had been standing outside of his quarters for a long while now.
"What did I tell you about stalking my room?" Kyle asked flatly.
"Do you think this is your kingdom, Prince Kyle?" Eric answered in that low and calculating tone that could only spell trouble.
Kyle blinked at him in genuine confusion. Deciding that Eric was just being ridiculous for the sake of pissing him off, he glared and shoved Eric aside. Stan and Kenny were waiting for him and he'd be damned missing a once-in-a-lifetime chance to visit the beach.
What he didn't expect was to be grabbed by the back of his tunic and shoved back into the wall.
"The hell is your problem, asshole?" he snarled then froze when Eric pinned him hard and practically felt his breath against his cheek. He smelled like Cheesy Poofs. Gross.
"You can't fool me with that doe-eyed look, Kyle," he hissed so close to his ear, Kyle flinched and thought Eric might lick his cheek just to gross him out again.
When Eric was this intense, there was little one could do but pay attention. He had seen it happen to the others. When Eric wanted to make a grand spectacle, he made damn sure he got it. His father called it natural charisma - the one human trait that helped Eric's race conquer nations - but he had yet to be the complete focus of Eric's tranquil wrath. At least until now.
It was kind of fascinating to find the sensations of his thoughts sucked into the whirlpool of Eric's eyes. He would never admit it out loud, of course. The human prince had a big enough ego as it was.
His musing was cut short when Eric sunk his fingers into Kyle's shoulders, making sure his thoughts were less on the enigma of his character and more focused on him - only him.
How insecure this asshole must be to use force in order to get attention, Kyle thought before that too was erased by Eric's sudden growl. Kyle would never admit defeat like the others. He may pull this commandeering shit on his servants, but Kyle came from a line of powerful Jewish priests who pulled their poise and strength from animal royalty itself - the stag.
He held himself firm against the tide of Eric's sharp blue eyes.
"Get any closer and I'll punch you in the eye," Kyle promised, cutting into Eric's tense silence.
"Whatever you're doing putting that elvish jewdoo on my mom, you best stop it," Eric whispered. "Living here every summer? Pretty crafty. Eating my food, okay. But installing a fucking forest right on top of my training grounds? That's going too far!"
Kyle wasn't impressed by the threat. "What are you talking about?"
"Don't you fucking play coy with me, Kahl!" Eric snarled and pointed at the window. "Because of your bitching, you made my mom turn my courtyard into a goddamn rose garden!"
"A what?" Eric stiffened when Kyle leaned into him for a good look out the window, his chin pressing against his shoulder. "Huh…" He could feel Kyle's hot breath sink into the fabric of his tunic as he mused. "That's really sweet of her."
Eric shoved him back against the wall. "Fuck sweet! I'm warning you! She's my mom! She does what I say, not you!"
Kyle glared at him. "Well maybe if you stopped trying to convince my dad you're a goody two-shoes, we'd get rid of this engagement once and for all! So until you quit your fucking scheming, you'll have to share her - because whether you like it or not, she's going to be my mom too!"
Something inside Eric snapped.
"You know…" he began, rooting Kyle in place when he tried to squirm away again. He placed his hand against Kyle's burning cheek in mock sympathy. "…just because your mom is dead, doesn't mean you need to replace her."
Kyle turned deathly still. "What?"
He shrugged, using that cloyingly sweet tone that Kyle hated so much. "Something wrong, Kyle? Have a little bit of remorse hidden somewhere deep inside? I mean, I'd be feeling guilty too if I managed to kill my mom just by being born."
It was too late to take his words back the moment those green eyes widened in horror, and, in a strange twisted bout of compassion, he swiped his thumb across Kyle's stilled lips to soften the blow.
Eric had the power of words to wield like a weapon, but to use it in such a way - to find that he was actually witnessing the moment Kyle broke down like he always dreamed - didn't feel right this time. That, coupled with the lack of meditation, seized up Kyle's emotions like a vice; coiled and ready to explode. Regret, guilt, anger - all of this was a churning ball of negativity pooling into his stomach.
Kyle didn't start crying like Eric had expected, but he turned extremely pale and sick-like. And instead of that outward of energy Kyle usually burned out from his magical aura, Eric found himself unable to hold on to his own magic as Kyle turned inward like a super-massive black hole, literally sucking life itself out of the entire hallway.
"Okay…" Eric began delicately, suddenly unsure. "That was kind of a douchey move -"
His head snapped to the side when Kyle punched him so hard he thought he saw stars. He got knocked onto his ass and instinctively held his jaw as Kyle loomed over him, those exotic features twisted in anguish and humiliation that it threatened to ignite the very air from his uncontrollable magic.
Well fuck. He went too far this time. Eric let out a girly squeak and scrambled down the hall.
"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!" he heard Kyle scream before he dashed through the doors.
He thought he managed to lose Kyle down the interior hallway, only for a painting above his head to ignite from a fireball.
"Stop it!" he shouted over his shoulder before dodging another one. "You're gonna burn the castle down, asshole!"
The bloodcurdling roar from Kyle put the kibosh on any kind of diplomacy.
With Kyle running over a few trolleys and unlucky servants without so much as stopping really made Eric experience actual fear. If Kyle would just slow down, he may be able to grovel and apologize before he ended up in the infirmary a second time. He just narrowly missed seeing the door to their parents' study close before he passed by it. If he had paid attention, perhaps Eric could have shouted for help.
Or not. He didn't want to see the expression on his mother's face when she found out he used her dead best friend as weapon to hurt her son.
Fear was making him stumble along the sharp burning of his jaw, so Eric completely missed the first step and tripped going down the grand staircase. He didn't even consider sliding down the banister - which was exactly what Kyle did to bridge the distance and get the jump on him. Eric yelped in surprise from Kyle's tackle and crashed face-first onto expensive carpet.
"Okay stop! Not fair! Time out!" Eric whined as Kyle pounded at his back with bony fists that hurt like the seven hells. He squirmed on the carpet while Kyle inelegantly punched and smacked every bit of him he could reach.
"Shut up! Just SHUT UP! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!" Kyle cried out with each blow until a breath caught in his chest that made him abruptly stop.
Eric flipped them over and pinned Kyle's limbs to the carpet before he got any more ideas like kicking him in the crotch. His painful pants faded the instant Kyle started to squirm desperately under him, giving himself away.
"Aw shit…" Eric let go of his hands. "Did you take your elixirs today? You didn't, did you? Son of a bitch…"
Kyle could only heave and gasp, clutching his chest in response. The helpless look he shot at Eric must have stirred something within, because Eric made no hesitation maneuvering Kyle onto his stomach to use that gay technique he had seen the healers do to encourage Kyle's breathing.
"Kyle!" Eric warned, using both of his hands to knead and stroke up and down the smaller boy's back. "Relax and breathe in… that's right… you've got this."
Whatever he was doing seemed to be effective. Kyle managed to focus inward by Eric's soothing tone to steady the stutter in his chest.
"Hey! Get a medic!" he shouted at a passing maid, but Kyle's distress already long since alerted his father's magical senses, who quickly arrived with his mother in tow not a minute later.
Even with their parents here, Eric couldn't will himself to pull away, not when Kyle seemed so dependent on his soothing movements. It took Lord Garrison and King Gerald both to pry him off of Kyle who ended up hyperventilating again. Eric had stop himself from saying he told them so for trying to separate them.
He didn't exactly have the right to say what was best for Kyle when he was the one who brought him to his worst.
Eric found himself banished to a bench behind the physicians' partition while everyone else was crooning and kissing Kyle's ass now that he was bedridden. His plan to get Kyle riled enough to retaliate had succeeded, but not in the way Eric expected.
He didn't consider the possibility of actually feeling bad about the whole thing - especially when it caused the weak elf to have a panic attack.
When he couldn't help but peer around, he caught Kyle in the midst of turning away from Liane's touch, no doubt spurred on by Eric's previous words with him. The moment her face crumpled really made Eric feel like the biggest piece of shit in the universe.
If not Kyle, he didn't mean to upset his own mother.
He hunched his shoulders and turned away, only to jump when he found King Gerald sitting beside him.
"Jesus Christ!" Eric hissed. "Are all elves ninjas or something?"
"There are advantages using stealth among our kind, yes," Gerald said dryly. "Do you want to talk about what happened today?"
Eric looked down at his lap, his cheeks burning with regret. "I…" he began defensively, but then remembered that elves knew a lie when they heard it. He tried to omit as much as he could instead. "I said some mean things to Kyle. He got mad and then had an attack."
"Hmm… I suppose I can't get anything from either of you," the older man decided with pursed lips. "Kyle seemed just as tight-lipped about it as you are."
Eric's head snapped up, almost positive Kyle would have told them everything just to get him in trouble and for good reason too.
"Unfortunately," Gerald continued, "he's still much too young to hide his feelings. I don't need words to know what happened to my son, Eric."
There was a small awkward silence between them. "I… my mom…" Eric couldn't find the words for why he did it aside from just trying to hurt and anger Kyle. He didn't even know Kyle's mother - never even saw a picture of her - but he used her as a weapon against Kyle.
"You wouldn't be the only one to use Kyle's mother against him. As is the opposite for Jerseyans, a mother's death is considered a bad omen among the Drow," Gerald said calmly. "Kyle is too prideful to admit it, but I'm sure he's overheard such words used against him in our own Court. Perhaps not as blunt as you have done, but still the same. Hearing it from the person who would become his husband must have been his breaking point."
The way he said it, cool logic wrapped in a veneer of intentional guilt, cut Eric deep in a way no adult had done. It was easier to be looked at and treated like something to be babied, but King Gerald had caught on and decided that Eric needed to be treated like a person for once. Treating him like an actual threat was probably why Kyle could see through Eric's manipulations so clearly.
"I was mad," Eric grumbled pathetically.
"I know," Gerald sighed. "Your mother is quite fond of Kyle. I've tried to tell her that it wasn't necessary to alter the courtyard, but I didn't have the heart to stop her. So if you're angry at anyone, you can be angry at me."
Confused blue eyes snapped up at the older man, not expecting that kind of answer. Hitting or belittling him seemed more in line to what Eric expected, but compassion? After what he knew Eric did?
He stiffened in surprise when Gerald placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.
"Did you ever think that maybe, instead of losing a mother, you'd be gaining a father out of this?" he asked.
Eric's heart completely skipped a beat.
A father?
"I would really love Liane to be Kyle's mother-in-law," Gerald admitted with a slight grin. "I believe that he actively seeks and enjoys it when he's coddled by her. I'm not sure what you want out of this, but I hope that this engagement does work out. I'd be honored to be your father if you wish."
Honored to be his father.
Eric's mouth twisted down to prevent himself from tearing up. He'd never admit the many nights he spent crying, bitterly knowing he had all the power and money in the world - but something as simple as a dad like his friends had was always out of his reach. No man wanted to marry his mother when she was a bar wench and neither did they want to when she became this unreachable queen.
He didn't want to be disappointed in the end when this engagement fell through, so he said nothing. When Garrison arrived and Gerald stood back up, Eric used the distraction to furiously wipe at his eyes.
"Regardless of what your mother believes, I think it's best you and Kyle separate for awhile," Gerald decided after a few short words with his tutor. "What do you think, Garrison?"
"If you value your blood pressure, you will," replied Garrison. "Two weeks, Eric. You stay away from Kyle or I'll stick a bit in your mouth and have you plow a field."
Eric hopped off the bench when his mother finally emerged, playing the part of an unfeeling asshole as usual. "Ha, whatever! I just thought you were trying to punish me, not reward me."
Liane caught his words on the way out. She looked at him, averted her eyes, then left the quarters without so much as saying a word to him.
Maybe that was the real punishment.
He had been so certain that the King would dissolve the engagement that after that night, Eric was lost of purpose. It wasn't until the third day did he realize how quiet things got or how people seemed to avoid him like the plague.
If Kyle's father didn't offer small talk here and there, he would have gone mad by the vow of silence his mother punished him with, and the garden she was building eventually stopped altogether. Perhaps she was convinced by Gerald to do it for Eric's sake, but for some reason he didn't feel victorious about it.
"Dunno why you were so gung-ho about that piece of shit bit of land in the first place," Garrison had said to him on the fourth day during a tutoring session. "It's not like you actually exercised out there anyways. Or at all."
Fuck off. It was his kingdom. If he didn't want a goddamned garden outside, he could very well say so.
"Jesus Christ, you fucked up," Kenny laughed cruelly on the fifth day, "but that's typical. Now you're all angsty and miserable without your elvish punching bag…"
Eric laughed a little louder than usual. "Yeah, okay Kenny. I'm enjoying my ginger-free two weeks. In fact, I might gun for another two!"
She didn't seem convinced, but she played along. "Funny, Kyle said that too. I just think he's more genuine about it than you. But I'm not surprised - he didn't even want us to invite you to the beach party that day. It's hella legit that he thinks you suck."
Now that was un-fucking-called for. Eric stopped laughing, glared at the girl, and stomped away in a huff. And, when he got far enough, he turned back around to bite his thumb at her for good measure.
Kyle wasn't allowed to be that happy with the arrangement. He would have to rectify this.
As usual, there was a guard hovering nearby to block him from getting into Kyle's quarters. It was fine with him because he spent the last half hour perfecting a particular spell just for this occasion. With a confident strut, he gave the female guard his best puppy dog eyes.
"Isn't this a fine evening, Lady Holly?"
She looked up from her post to frown at him suspiciously. "Your highness, you know you're not supposed to be here…"
"Oh, I know," he chirped innocently. "But that's not what I'm here for. I'm just… concerned over what I saw tonight. Perhaps you can help me?"
Her chain mail rustled loudly as she turned. "What grieves you, your highness?"
Eric feigned hesitancy. "Don't be mad, but I saw something really, really weird over by the stables and… lo and behold, there was your husband! But he was doing something so strange, Lady Holly. What kind of game do you think he was doing?"
"A game?" she demanded, catching his bait so easily he could cry.
With a flutter of magic, Eric obediently swirled his hands to show her an image of her husband in the arms of a maid. "I think they're playing horsey, but naked? It's so strange! And it's awfully late to play games though…" he tilted his head in feigned confusion. She squeaked and urgently tried to blow the image away with her hands before the young prince saw anymore illicit acts.
"I'm gonna hang his entrails from the rafters!" Holly growled before drawing her blade and abandoning her station. Sucker.
Eric whistled pleasantly when the door clicked open and he waltzed in. He suddenly choked at the heavy use of incense and candlelight in the heated darkness of Kyle's room. Drawn up in thick blankets, Eric quickly found Kyle hidden beneath them. He hopped on the edge of the bed, jostling it in an attempt to stir.
"Hey Jew," Eric greeted and patted the covers over the boy's head. "Miss me? Of course you fucking did, I'm just so irresistible and all."
Kyle was too stubborn to answer.
"Oh please," he continued with a huff. "You can stop playing the 'I'm so sickly' act. You just had a breathing spell, big fucking whoop. I get that shit every day when Garrison makes me jog and you don't see me wasting away in my room."
More silence.
"Okay, okay!" he snarled. "I'm sorry for saying that shit. It was a low blow and you had every right to kick my ass and get me in trouble. Now, will you please tell mom that everything's cool?"
"What's wrong with your mom?" Kyle asked, which did not come from the bundle of blankets.
Eric shot his head up to find Kyle emerging from the bathroom and confused as hell over who he was talking to. He flipped off the blankets to find a large stuffed elephant beneath it. "What the fuck is this?"
"Biff," Kyle replied as a matter-of-factly.
"Biff? The fuck is Biff?"
He rolled his eyes. "That's the name of my elephant. Gods, did I hit you that hard on the head?"
"What are you, four?"
"I'm seven," Kyle snarled. "I can sleep with a stuffed elephant, asshole!"
Eric shook his head, not wanting to cause another argument this time. "Fine, the fuck ever. Forget the elephant. I'm sorry, okay? Seriously. Now call off your elvish jew-jew over my mom so everything can go back to normal."
Kyle's voice carried through the room. "How many times do I have to tell you that our magic doesn't work that way?! We can't control people!" Eric winced at the volume and shot quick looks at the door just in case.
Despite the threat of getting caught, Eric just couldn't help but egg on. "Well obviously there can't be another reason why she's on your side than mine!"
"She. likes. me." Kyle emphasized in a way that sounded like he was talking to a straight up retard, which wouldn't be too far from the truth in his case. "The universe doesn't revolve around you, Eric."
Eric suppressed the urge to sneer and instead exhaled. Diplomacy. He can do that shit. "I didn't come here to argue with you, Kyle. I just want a compromise."
"You're not even supposed to be here," he retorted and snatched Biff when Eric started to pluck at it.
"If you can't keep your elvish mind tricks from stealing my mom, then it's only fair game that I steal your dad," Eric said seriously. "Have we come to terms like civilized gentlemen? Well… one gentleman and a barbarian with a stuffed elephant."
Kyle pointed at the door. "Just get out of here!" he snarled. "I've already told your mom I don't want the garden, so leave me alone!"
"It's too late, Kyle!" Eric got up from the bed and dusted off his royal bottom. "The landscape's already half-done. Now you've got no choice but to accept. Life's a bitch, ain't it?"
If Kyle knew any better, he might have thought this was Eric's way of trying to patch things up. Maybe he did, but he certainly didn't trust Eric. Not at all. "If you wanted to spend time with my dad, all you had to do was say so," he said flatly. "You don't need to lie and scheme with me to get what you want."
"Oh, but where's the fun in that?" Eric smiled viciously before disappearing behind the partition. Lady Holly was bound to return any minute and, if not her, Kyle's screaming would have definitely alerted someone.
Kyle quickly locked the door that Eric left from and tossed Biff back onto the mattress in disgust. What the hell was his father thinking trying to marry him off to that manipulative, unrepentant son of a bitch?
Biff slid off the bed noisily, taking his trunk and a few stuff on the nightstand with it. A couple of seashells fresh from the shore rolled under the bed and, like Kyle's belief in Eric, unawares and ignored.
