Super Sped Bros.

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own Super Smash Bros. or any of the related games.


Chapter Two

Mario's Story

Mr. Nintendo's Conundrum


Master Hand - This is the first of twelve adventures that will happen in this household. Shall we begin?

Mario - I'm off!

Link - Where to?

Mario - I'm on a never-ending quest to save my girlfriend! Er… Princess!

Link - I know how that feels.

(Ling-Ling from Drawn Together jumps in and speaks Asian gibberish.)

Ling-Ling - (You break copyright laws! Now, Ling-Ling here to destroy all!)

Pikachu - Pika pika. (Lay off, buddy.)

Ling-Ling (I am not your buddy! I am…)

(DK grabs Ling-Ling, puts him on his back, and begins walking out the front door.)

Ling-Ling - (You will pay for this insult! You all will pay! Pay, I say!)

Link - Bizarre.

Mario - Well, I'm off. -leaves-

Link - Yeah, I'm gonna kick back and…

(A cellphone rings. Everyone turns to Link where the Hyrule music begins playing.)

Link - What up? Mh-hm. You're in trouble you say? Well, can it wait? It can't… Heh… I see… Well, if Ganondorf says he can beat Majora's Mask faster than me, bring it on! -hangs up and picks up Master Sword- Not this time. -puts sword down and picks up game controller- Aha! -runs off-

Samus - Bizarre.

(Kirby walks in and goes to sneeze. The TV is sucked in and, as Kirby sneezes, the TV is blasted through the wall.)

Ness - Let's take cover next time.

Everyone Else - Agreed.

(Yoshi waddles in and opens the refrigerator in the next room. He sucks something in, swallows, and closes the fridge.)

Yoshi - ERG! -farts a fireball-

Falcon - My taco salads! NO!

Samus - Okay, just how much caffeine did you have?

Falcon - This much!

(Falcon begins running at high-speed as Samus sticks her buster out. Falcon's face smashes into it, but his body stretches and keeps running. When his body snaps back, he goes flying backwards, arms extended, with a bizarre smile on. He smashes into the fridge and lands on the ground. The fridge lands on top of him and only his eyeballs pop out from under it.)

Samus - Uh-huh… Yeah, way too much for you.

Master Hand - Meanwhile…

Mario - Odd.

(Mario is looking at the front door of the castle, but its' painted on.)

Mario - Aha! A vent!

(Mario takes a running jump at it, but smashes face-first into concrete.)

Mario - Oh… So, how do I do this?

(Mario climbs onto the roof.)

Mario - Everything's painted on! -picks up bumper- Hmmm…

(Seconds later, Mario is being smashed continuously into the side of the wall as the bumper bounces between a wall and Mario.)

Master Hand - Bizarre. Anyways, back at the house…

(Kirby walks in with Ness' hat on.)

Falcon - Kirby a cannibal! Kill the cannibal!

(Falcon runs over and continuously hits Kirby on the head with a stick, but it always bounces back into his own face.)

Falcon - This stick is evil! Burn it at the stake!

(Moments later, a stick is sticking (pardon the pun) out of a pile of sticks. It begins burning as smoke begins rising.)

Samus - What the…

Falcon - This smoke is evil! Burn it at the stake!

(A figure made of smoke is bawling its' eyes out as it is set on fire.)

Samus - Note to self: Keep Falcon away from caffeine.

Master Head - Meanwhile…

(A bloodied Mario is still being smashed up against the wall.)

Master Hand - Nothing new. Next!

(Link is smiling happily as Ganondorf continuously becomes more angry. Finally, Ganondorf grabs Link's entire head and squishes it in his grip.)

Ganondorf - You'd better pray that I'm not in the next game.

(Ganondorf releases his grip and walks off as Link begins gasping for air.)

Link - You… -deep inhale- …sore… -another deep inhale- …loser…

Master Hand - Bizarre. Next!

Fox - It's been a while since Mario left.

Falcon - Cheese! Burn it!

Samus - It has been.

Falcon - Grilled cheese! Burn it!

Pikachu - Pikachu? (How long do you think he'll keep this up for?)

Falcon - Asian gibberish!

(Ness walks out from behind the stick in the pile of sticks.)

Ness - I quit… Slave driver… I can't use PK Fire anymore!

Falcon - I'll do it then! Falcon… Punch!

(Falcon punches Pikachu into the cosmos.)

Samus - Well, we shouldn't see him for what? Half the fanfic?

Fox - More or less.

(A brief silence follows.)

Luigi - The Green Giant has returned!

Samus - That's our cue.

Fox - Let's find him.

Master Hand - Later…

Fox - Here it is.

Samus - There's a hole in the top of this place.

(Fox and Samus jump into the hole and find Mario's bloodied and battered corpse on the ground. Written next to him in blood is 'I did it! I got in!'.)

Fox - Poor guy.

Samus - Nothing we can do about it. Let's go.

Fox - Let's…

Master Hand - Thus concludes the first of many zany adventures. Actually, now that I think about it, I think that payback's in order here…