I fell asleep on the drive to Percy's house. I was dreaming of electric blue eyes and spiky black hair, dreaming of the great times I had had with the owner of that hair and those eyes. Then the dream turned to a nightmare. We were back at the beach. I was watching that girl struggling for her life in the water. I was reliving that despair-filled day. That cruel day I lost her. I jolted up, shaking uncontrollably, my face wet with sorrowful tears. My hair was matted to my forehead with sweat. Percy parked the car and hopped out as swift as an eagle. He came into the backseat with me and engulfed me in a hug. We sat there saying nothing, the only sound coming from my weeping. Tears trickled down my face and fell on his shirt but he didn't seem to care. He just kept me there in his arms. I was the one to pull away first. My tears had dried but they were still there, behind my eyes, threatening to overflow again.
"Annabeth, it's going to be alright. She's in a better place now," Percy tried to console me.
"It was all my fault. She would be here now if it wasn't for me. She would have grown up to get married and have kids. But I ruined all of that," I said, almost inaudibly.
But he still heard.
"It wasn't your fault. You did all that you could. Don't put yourself through hell because of what you couldn't prevent, Annabeth," he whispered to me.
I looked up at him and saw that tears were falling from his eyes. I wiped them off his face with my thumb. He opened the car door and helped me out and we made our way into his house. We went up to his room and I lay on his bed. He lay down beside me and I curled up in his arms and fell asleep once more, after exhausting myself with crying. This time, I dreamt of nothing.
~line break~
I awoke to sunlight streaming through the window the next morning. Someone stirred beside me and I looked over to see that it was Percy. Why was Percy sleeping next to me? And why was I in his room? Then all the events of the day before came rushing back to me. Tears instantly formed in my eyes but I held them back, trying to fight the urge to cry. I rose from the bed and went into the bathroom to wash my face. As I looked at myself in the mirror, I saw that my expression was morose. There was nothing cheerful about me; no smile, no shining eyes. I just appeared downcast. Is this really me? Sure I didn't trust people easily and I was a very careful type of person but I always had a smile to offer. Now if I ever smiled, it was somewhat forced. This is really me, one year after that fateful day, and I still haven't gotten over her death. I know that she's in a better place now but I can't help but wish she was here with me. Sometimes, I question myself on if it actually was my fault or if I'm just making myself believe that because I can't deal with the fact that she's gone forever. But I always come up with the same conclusion in the end: if I hadn't made her go in the water, she never would've drowned.
I walked out of the bathroom to find Percy sitting on his bed, wide awake. I came to sit next to him and he gave me a kiss on my cheek.
"Good morning, sleepy head," I managed to say.
"Good morning, princess," he replied.
"Don't call me that," I pouted.
"Okay, Wise Girl," he gave in.
"Thanks, Seaweed Brain."
It looked as if I was holding up pretty well. But I needed to ask him. He was the only one I trusted to give me the truth.
"Percy, how was it not my fault that T-Thalia drowned?" I still had trouble saying her name.
"Annabeth... it wasn't your fault and it never will be. If you hadn't gotten her to swim, she never would have faced her fear. You couldn't have stopped the water from becoming rough nor could you have held that wave back. You did the only thing you could do for her. You swam out there and tried to save her."
"But I promised I wouldn't let anything happen to her," I countered.
"And you put all your strength and courage into keeping that promise. She wouldn't have wanted you to drive yourself crazy over this, Annabeth. You of all people should know that. It's time to let go, time to forgive yourself. Even if you think you could've saved her, maybe this is just the way it was meant to be."
"I'll try, I promise." I told him, knowing that this was a promise I wouldn't break.
I would keep this promise no matter what. I owed it to myself and to Percy. I hugged him while I whispered "thank-you" in his ear. I knew that I could always count on him. I knew that he would always be there for me, just like I tried to be for Thalia. It was finally time to forget.
Review! No flames please. (::) cookie for all of you. And thanks so much to trinigyal123 for being the bestest friend ever! Love you Miki :) Thank you CrazyPeanutAttack for the compliment :)
