Two strangers sat in the back of the Academy classroom. It was their first time being there, but they were well known throughout the village. Uchiha Sasuke, the handsome last of his clan. Uzumaki Naruto, an orphan known as the "demon". Despite their vast differences, the two boys were great friends, bordering on brothers. The quiet intelligent boy and the hyperactive not so smart boy.

They always stood up for each other. Every time a civilian insulted Naruto, Sasuke give them a killing look. On class, Naruto always sat next to Sasuke, preventing any fangirls from sitting next to him, and driving him insane.

Speaking of fangirls, the two largest ones were advancing towards the brothers, with no small amount of bickring. If they showed the same aggression on the battlefield, they would have sent enemies fleeing.

Today was the day that the genin teams would be made, and both Naruto and Sasuke hoped for a lack of fangirls. Unfortunately, the universe decided to fuck with them, and put them on a team with ugly fangirl #6. Haruno Sakura.

"KYAAAA!" she screamed at the top of her grating voice. It was like a banshee having sex with a troll whilst getting heart surgery from a blind doctor. In fact these were tge ciecumstances of her birth, without surgery and the doctor. (It is unknown which parent was the troll and which was the banshee). In short, she sounded just like her exponentially more irritating mother, Macha Haruno. The Haruno Clan was a prime example of a clan where the Apple never fell far from the tree. All members were biased rude cow donkeys. No exceptions. As JiraiyA of the Sannin once said, "Ugliness^ugliness".

Team 7s sensei was one Hatake Kakashi, a man feared on the battlefield for his ability to beat the shit out of people, while reading a dirty book. He asked team 7 to explain their like a, dislikes, hobbies , and dreams.

Sakura sent first. "I like SASUKE! I hate Naruto! My hobby is stalking SASUKE!" My dream is to create a family with SASUKE!"

It was Naruto' s turn next. "I like training with teme over there and ramen. I dislike those who are judgemental, and my tenant. My hobbies are training, ramen, and pranks. AND ONE DAY, I'LL BE THE BEST HOKAGE EVER!"

Finally it was Sasuke turn. "I like training with the idiot and learning new jutsu. I dislike traitors and fangirls. My hobbies are training and hanging out with the idiot. My dream is to kill itachi so he can't hurt anyone.

Kakashi sighed mentally at the weird pink haired girl, and then dropped a bomb. "Actually one of you will be returning to the Academy."

Before he could finish, Sakura screamed "Good bye Naruto!"

Kakashi controlled himself using a breathing exercise recommended by Ibiki after a particularly traumatic experience from his childhood. Unfortunately, it reminded him of the event in question, which was the time Macha has tried to attract his teacher, and was ripping off her shirt. . Minato had managed to cover Obitos and Rin' s eyes, but it was too late to save Kakashi. He was taken to the hospital, where he lay on the bed, eyes wide, muttering "It's flat" again and again. He didn't even react when Obito pulled off his mask, and due to Macha' s flaunting of nothing, an untalented clown became the first (And only) to see the legendary ninja' s face. The only part of the incident that Kakashi wanted to relive was the part when Kushina had beaten the shit out of Macha, for traumatizing him.

Kakashi managed to spit out " It's a test first. Meet me at 7 here tomorrow morning. Don't eat breakfast, or you'll vomit."

As Team 7 walked away, Salura ran after her crush, yelling "Sasuke, let's go on a date!" At that point, Naruto made the wisest decision he would ever make in his whole life. He threw a book at Sakura, grabbed his best friend, and ran.

*****

The next morning found Team 7 sitting in the field. Sasuke and Naruto were checking their equipment, while Sakura alternated between glaring at Naruto and staring at Sasuke. Three hours later, Kakashi arrived. He was met with screams from Naruto, a high- pitched shriek from Sakura.

Kakashi simply eye-smiled at his students. "Ok, you have to get these two bells from me. Whoever doesntv get one by lunch fails. Time started now!"

Immediately, all three genin darted into the forest. Sasuke managed to get his teammates together, which wasn't difficult. After all Naruto had understood the real motive if the test, while Sakura was trying to defile Sasuke' s lips with her own. What was difficult was telling them his plan. Sakura kept ... making sounds of pleasure while trying to cling onto Sasuke. "Look, Kakashi is too strong for each of us to defeat him by ourselves. We need to work as a team, because that's the only way to get the bells. This is what we're going to do..."

*****

Kakashi put down his book, as Sasuke engaged with him in a fierce taijutsu bout. As the veteran ducked under his punch, Sasuke vaulted over him, in an attempt to kick him. The man then pulled leaped over the Uchiha's leg, and pulled out a kunai to deflect the shuriken emerging from the forest. His eyes widened as the shuriken sliced through his kunai. The weapons struck his shoulders and hips. However, he has worse things to worry about. Sasukes's punch to the head sent him towards Naruto, who yelled , "Kaze Shunshin (Wind Body Flicker)". The blonde dashed towards his teacher, and kicked him in the chin. The fierce battle was brought to a stop by an odd laugh.

"Kukukukuku..." laughed the long-haired Orochimaru. Kakashi acted quickly. He pulled up his headband, to reveal a Sharingan. At that moment, Sasuke snatched the bells from him, threw one to Naruto, and one to Orochimaru. The snake sage released the transformation, and the pink-haired girl appeared.

In a dazed voice, Kakashi managed to get out "You pass...BUT DON'T IMITATE MOTHERFUCKING NUKENIN!" After all it reminded him of a horrible mission where he had to disguise himself as a ninja, who they did not know was a nukenin. As a result, he was cornered by a surprisingly well-developed girl, who attempted to knock him out by suffocating him with her round boobs. That wasn't the bad part. That came when Obito saved him.

"Can we have a C-rank?" whined Naruto for the 23rd time. Team 7 had chased cats, babysat hyperactive toddlers, and even painted the entire Academy.

Mostly to stop Naruto's bitching, the Third Hokage nodded, and said, "Team 7, protect bridge builder Tazuna on his journey to Wave."

AN: Some person reviewed "Sasuke doesn't want fugly Ino. Kill yourself, virgin loser." First of all, you're fugly, and no one wants you. Secondly, I can't be a virgin, cause I fucked your mom last night. Thirdly, if you want me to die, just send a picture of yourself. Finally, if you don't like the story don't read it, or give a polite review, you obese dickless/flat-chested (cause I don't know your gender) cranberry.