CHAPTER 2: Rydia, Interrupted: Reality Check


"Waaaaahhh!"

High heels make their presence known in the large castle.

CLACK echo CLACK echo BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM!

"What the frack, Rydia, ("Waaaaahhh!") what did you do to upset my baby?"

"I'm sorry Rosa."

"That's Queen Rosa, bitch! ("Waaaaahhh!") I hired you to watch my baby while I get my nails done in the next room, and now I can't trust you to even do that!"

"You were just in the next room? Waitaminnit… you hired me to watch Ceodore?"

"Yeah, what's the subterranean service rate now? 50 gil an hour? Minus 10% for the 'Wah'…"

"The Underground rates are 80 Dwarven, 110 Summoned Monster. But I am neither. And I won't take your money. We're supposed to be friends."

"You've been living underground for the past two years, what am I supposed to think?"

"You're supposed to know that I've been working very hard to establish commerce between the underground and the above-ground nations. Haven't you noticed? The Kingdom of Baron, among others, is flourishing because of that. I happen to know that at least 50% of your work force in this castle are Underground workers, and I made sure they are all paid very well."

"Then why don't I see any dwarves or monsters here?"

"Because they're hidden; they work out-of-sight jobs or the midnight shift. For example, your royal cooks might be dwarves, but your servers are human. This structure ensures that both above-ground and underground can still maintain their respective cultures and ways of life, but now the Underground is getting some long-needed economic stimulus."

"No wonder the food has a, uh… rustic earthiness to it. But yeah, that makes sense."

"Sure, you get the idea… and the headmistress may be a monster, while the mistresses are human."

"I guess that makes sense too…"

"Oh, actually, one of the Dwarven chamber maids was promoted to mistress by the King himself. You might actually see her. Now there are four mistresses total."

"Oh, my Cecil, so compassionate."

"Pfft. Hardly. Do you even know what a mistress's job is?"

"Yeah, they sit around the castle and look pretty for the Royal visitors."

"Oh gawd, how do I break it to you?"

"What?"

"Rosa, when was the last time you and Cecil were… together?"

"Hmm, about six months before Ceodore was born."

"A year and a half, huh…"

"Goodness, you make that sound like a bad thing… It's actually been a relief. After the first trimester I was too bloated and fatigued to do anything. And after Ceodore was born, I've spent most of my time and energy with him."

"A year and a half of comfortable ignorance… What about Cecil? Don't you think he still has needs?"

"Well, sure… but he seems happy anyway. He still gets that twinkle in his eye, that bounce in his step…"

"That's because of the mistresses. They are now fulfilling his needs."

"What?"

"That's their job, that's what they're here for."

"No…"

"That is one of the privileges, or perks, of being king. That's what kings do. They bed their queen until they have a male heir. After that, the mistresses are all fair game."

"I remember, before Ceodore was born, Cecil had a dream… FuSoYa and Golbez came to him and told him that I was carrying a boy and that he would one day rule Baron like his father. Cecil was very happy when he told me. I mean, wicked-smile happy. I guess… it wasn't just for one reason, huh?"

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry for me. I'll just pass it forward to you! What about King Edge? Don't you still have the hots for him? He's a king too. How does that make you feel? And as for Cecil, I can play that game too!"

"Edge has not yet taken a queen. He's still working on reorganizing and rebuilding Eblan to become a peaceful nation. I'm soooo proud of him (sniff)"

"Wipe that smile off your face, bitch. It's not like he's waiting for you, while you're bouncing all over the world. He's going to marry General Amanda Shinobu in one week. Who, by the way, lost all but her title after your stupid demilitarization treaty."

"Edge? No, it can't be..."

"It's all your fault, you know."

"Why didn't he say anything? I don't even have an invitation, not personally, not as Ambassador..."

"Maybe 'cause his fleet of Ninjas are bored and angry. An evil she-demon has possessed their master, after all. Eblan does not like you."

"By the way, it's not demilitarization, it's called Military Re-Purposing for Peace, and the General should be thankful; she now has greater responsibilities. And the Ninjas are building houses and learning social skills."

"And the King is moving on."

"...Not on my watch! I'm going to crash that party! King Edge won't make another move before I'm through with him! You're the witness to my determination! Ya hear me?"

"Sure."

"I, defacto Ambassador Rydia of Mist, stepdaughter of Leviathan and Asura, Hero of the Lunarian War, soon to be Queen of Eblan, will never be defeated!"

"Hah! Queen? For real? After all that matter-of-fact talk about mistresses? I thought you were in love."

"Oh, you know I'll fix that barbaric tradition."

"You really are a power-hungry bitch. Are you sure you're in love? Either way, you're dangerous! You go girl! Gods help anyone who crosses your path."

"Thanks, I take that as your Royal blessing."

"Yeah, whatever. Can you watch Ceodore another hour, I'm going to go re-purpose the Air Force trainees."

"As you wish, Queen Rosa."

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