Nathan had decided to stay up until three to meet up with her rather than try and sleep until then. The anxiety of hearing anything on Rachel was enough adrenaline to keep him wired until just before the sun rose. The scrawny teen took a glance at himself in the mirror and realized just how wiry his arms had become, and how much his pale, sickly skin emphasized the scars hidden beneath his sleeve. He ran a finger against where the skin was slightly raised and grabbed his signature red letterman before he left the room—as he always did.

Charlie was right about Nathan having no issues finding a spare key for the rooftop. After his last class he had headed straight into Principal Wells' office and rummaged his desk for the key with "roof" printed sloppily on some scotch tape. The idiot had left his door unlocked and was off somewhere else; but it probably wouldn't have made a difference. Wells was practically kissing Nathan's toes just to make sure the school was still receiving money from his parents. He could've marched in there and demanded for a key if need be, and Wells would've handed it right over. Regardless, Nathan was less-than-fond of the way Charlie assumed he'd do it in the first place. Who the hell did she think she was? It was a miracle he hadn't blown up in her face for even being in his dorm. He patted his hip to make sure the key was still in his pocket and slipped out of the boys' hall to go find her. Whatever she had to say, it'd better be good.

"I'm surprised you're here," She whispered as Nathan approached the steps of the girls' dorm. "Follow me," She waved him in. Nathan scoffed. The girl was wearing a white tank top with maroon-colored pajama bottoms and a flannel tied around her waist. She looked like she was just about ready to sleep—or had just woken up. He followed her quietly through the halls and they hopped up to the top of the stairwell; both without saying a word. "You got the key, right?" She asked, turning towards him. Nathan fumbled in the dark for a moment and fidgeted with the keyhole until they finally heard that satisfying click sound that meant they were successful snoops. They pushed into the fresh air and she held the door open for him. He stopped for a moment, deciding whether or not he should've been the one holding the door. "Go on,". He stepped through and caught himself nodding a small thank you.

"Alright say what you have to say so I can get the fuck back to sleep." Nathan grumbled, crossing his arms. He had no idea how she wasn't shivering already. Not only was she barely dressed but the wind was blowing exceptionally hard at the top of the ten-story building. She sat herself down on the cement and leaned back on her arms. "I don't have time for—"

"Just sit, Nathan, trust me, you'll want to." Charlie patted the spot beside her and looked up at him. Even in the dim moonlight, her eyes glowed like headlights, but still so vacant. He scoffed and sat down on her other side just to spite her.

"Alright, well, spit it out." He said, staring at his shoes. "What the hell do you know about Rachel?"

"Well, I know that she was close to me and I know her well enough to realize she didn't just leave on her own. She wouldn't do that."

"So you're telling me you don't fucking know anything, great. I knew I should've fucking ignored you." He sneered.

"Nathan I know Rachel didn't run away." She reached into the pocket of her loose pajamas and pulled out a carton of cigarettes and a scratched up lighter from the other side. She held out the box of fags for him but he shook his head.

"No, thanks, I don't smoke cigarettes." She shrugged and tucked the contraband back into her pockets. After a couple long drags, she held the cigarette between her two fingers and blew a stream of smoke.

"Rachel's my sister."

"Oh bull-shit, you two don't even have the same last name—"

"—half sister. Same mom, different dads, and they ended up separating, obviously, so we weren't raised together." She inhaled another straight drag and the smoke floated out of her small nostrils.

"How the hell does no one know then? Rachel never mentioned you to anyone."

"She had her life to live and I had mine. We never grew up together so it just seemed natural to stray away from each other at school too. And besides, I've only been here for 3 months, it hasn't been that hard to keep a secret." Seeing Charlie smoke somehow made Nathan feel a little uneasy. After all the exposure he'd had to people abusing illegal substances—and he'd been exposed to plenty— seeing the same girl who hung out with Kate Marsh on a daily basis smoking a cigarette somehow rubbed him wrong. He shifted his weight onto his other side and wrapped his arms around his knees; there was no way Charlie could possibly be content her in her meekly wife-beater in this cold. He took off his jacket slowly, debating whether or not sacrificing it to her would be the right thing to do. He decided he'd give it to her only if she asked, and kept it balled up in his lap until then. "I don't expect people to understand; I don't expect you to, either." She said, not turning to look at him. She didn't seem to be phased by the wind at all. "But I need to find her. I can't just pretend she was never a part of my life. I don't… have anyone but Rachel." Her drags were beginning to get so deep the cigarette was already half ash and she tapped it against the side of her knee.

"What, are your parents rich assholes too?" Nathan asked with a scoff.

"No, Dad's always off with his new girlfriend-of-the-week. The only reason he even considered letting me go here was because he knew I'd be out of his hair for ten months. That, and, I got a full ride so I won't have to dip into his alcohol-fund." Nathan looked away from her uncomfortably, realizing his comment might've hit closer to home than he realized; and they weren't even rich to ease the burn. "And her parents, my mom included, they're so in denial about the entire thing. I tried to tell them but… I think they just want to imagine she ran off and is somewhere happy. Mom doesn't know too much about me these days, and I don't really have the heart to tell her now that I think Rachel's gone." Her cigarette was now nothing but a stub of the filter, and she held it between her thumb and index finger, studying it for a moment, before putting it out on the inner part of her arm.

"D-Don't do that!" Nathan exclaimed, reaching out to her before he could even realize what he was doing. "You shouldn't do that to yourself, it's fucking sick…" She slid the butt into her pocket and turned to look at him for the first time all night.

Using just her index finger, she slightly lifted the sleeve of his black t-shirt just enough to reveal the scars running all up and down. "You shouldn't do that either." She said, fingering the scars. He was caught off guard by her bold gesture and grabbed her wrist roughly.

"Don't ever fucking touch me Y-you don't know jack shit about me." He quickly threw on his jacket, embarrassed and a bit mad at himself for even thinking of giving it over to her. He stood up, "I'm leaving. Thanks for fucking nothing." and stormed off towards the stairwell door. Charlie leaned back on her arms and closed her eyes, feeling a little guilty. She tapped her fingers on the pavement

"I think I'm gonna lay up here for a bit. It's nice to finally get some air. Blackwell gets so hectic sometimes with everyone around and watching." She inhaled the cold air through her nostrils and a white vapor came out on the exhale; it really was getting cold. She untied the flannel from her waist and managed to wrap it around herself without even getting up, though it didn't help much. If anything, she'd get a cold and have an excuse to skip class for a week. A strong wind blew over the top of the roof and her toes curled up in her shoes.

"Fine, whatever, get your ass in trouble, I'm leaving." Nathan stormed his way to the door and jammed on the lever, eager to get back to his dorm and sleep this shitty night off. He didn't buy it, any of it. There was no way Charlie was related to Rachel; he would've known about it. Everyone would've noticed it by now, if it were true. She was definitely lying, and he stayed up all night just to hear her spew bullshit. Now this stupid door was stuck. He pushed on the doorknob again, this time harder, but it remained stagnant. He clumsily patted his pockets, front and back, but the key was nowhere to be found. "What the—where did I—" He jiggled at the metal handle even harder and growled in frustration. Steam was practically flowing out of his nostrils as he put all his weight against the door, hoping it was just stuck and not locked. "Where the fuck is the key? Ugh, god damn it, I just want to go back to my room!" He whipped his head around to face Charlie, who was still in the same curled up position she'd been in. "Do you have it?"

"You lost the key?" She asked, cracking an eye open. "How are we gonna get down?"

"I don't fucking know! This is your fault, you're the one who dragged us up here for no god damn reason! What are we supposed to do now? Jump off?"

"You want to jump off the building together? We wouldn't make it." She murmured, but the way she said it made the hair on the back of Nathan's neck rise. The air was still for a moment before she interrupted the silence, "I'm just kidding—Nathan. The night's almost over anyway, let's just try and wait until the sun rises and we can call for help when the students start waking up." She patted the ground next to her and rested her head on her other arm.

"You… you planned this didn't you? You want me to get into trouble? Is that it? Do you even know who I am? I—"

"Yes Nathan I know, you own Blackwell, you can get away with anything, blah blah. Enough. Just calm down for a couple hours okay? Besides, you're the one who had the key, if anyone this is your fault. There's no use in getting upset now." She rolled over, realizing her offer had been rejected.

"I hope your sorry ass gets expelled after this, Chumplie." He grumbled, stomping over to the corner opposite of her and plopping himself down in defeat.

"Chumplie, that's funny. If you sit there and stew for too long you're going to turn into a steamed vegetable." She warned teasingly. He only huffed in response and crossed his arms. Charlie sighed, realizing her jokes weren't helping to ease the tension whatsoever. She nuzzled her nose into the nape of her arm and evened her breathing. Soon the cold didn't feel like much, and her mind was off somewhere far away, and the two of them drifted off to sleep, perhaps dreaming about the same thing.


"R-rachel… n-no, please d-don't…" Charlie's eyes fluttered open; the last fragments of her dreams being washed away by the realization that she was now awake. "D-don't…No!" She pushed herself up from the ground, her back feeling surprisingly realigned from having slept on a level surface for once. "No… No!" She shook her head, slightly disorientated. The frightened voice gradually grew louder, echoing in her ears, forcing her to gain consciousness of where she was. Charlie looked around, blinking hard, putting two and two together and realizing she was definitely not in her usual sleeping environment. Her hazy eyes immediately fell upon the boy in the corner, shriveled up in the fetal position with his eyes wound tightly shut and muttering in his sleep like a maniac. She threw off her flannel and stumbled onto her feet without even taking a moment to balance herself and made her way over to the helpless, wriggling boy. She was far too dazed to realize how taboo the whole situation was. A gentle hand on his shoulder caused him to curl up even tighter.

"Hey, Nathan. Nathan." She gently shook his shoulder, her eyes barely keeping themselves open. "Nathan is everything alright?" Suddenly, his bloodshot eyes popped open and he grabbed her arms in sheer hysteria. The look on his face was one Charlie had never seen on Nathan, or anyone for that matter; one that read as if he'd seen something disturbing beyond words, and it was coming right for him. Some nightmare, she thought. He breathed heavily for a second, his heart pounding hard against his chest and in his ears. His palms were sweaty with fear. He stared at the tender face hovering over him but with fear in his eyes. "Nathan? Are you with me?"

"Get off me!" He pushed her onto her back and stood up, his eyes darting frantically from side to side. His hands were shaking, and looking for something to grip onto as if he was afraid of being dragged away. He was breathing through his mouth like he just couldn't get enough oxygen in.

"Nathan? We need to get you back to your dorm—now. It's nine o'clock, everyone's awake." Charlie sprang herself up from the ground, excusing Nathan's actions due to the nightmare, and snatched up her flannel from the sparkling cement.

"Wh-where the fuck am I?" Nathan asked, utterly disorientated.

"We're on the roof of the girls' dorms. Come on, I've got the key." Sure enough, the once lost keys were pulled out of the girl's pajama bottoms and inserted into the door knob.

"I thought I l-lost those." His voice sounded strange and detached —like he was falling in and out of reality and couldn't quite comprehend where he stood. Charlie put her hand on his shoulder, guiding him towards the door.

"No, no I took them." She muttered under her breath, at this point slightly disappointed and full of regret for pulling such a stunt.

"Where am I?" His voice wavered the second time he asked. His eyes darted all around him like he was blind. His whole body was quivering and he had arms pulled in tight to his chest, and it gave Charlie the most sickening feeling at the pit of her stomach. She wanted to know what was wrong, but asking him in his current state was futile. Right now, the priority was to get him back to his dorm safely and quietly. She took a deep breath,

"Okay, Nathan you need to be quiet alright?" and unlocked the door into the stairwell. Immediately, the push of the door sent a warm burst of air that kissed the tip of her cold pink nose. Only now she realized how chilled the surface of her skin had become after sleeping in the open. She anxiously tapped her foot, waiting for him to step inside first. "Come on, let's get you back before anyone sees us." Nathan looked at her for a moment, furrowing his brows at her sudden affability, and proceeded to stumble towards the stairwell.

"Wait, no. It's dark! It's so dark." He screamed, causing Charlie to drop the keys. She let the heavy metal door gently shut behind them dashed down the stairs until she was in front of him and frantically cupped a hand over his mouth as he was readying to scream again.

"Nathan please! Please stay quiet." He looked back at her with glassy eyes, his face scrunched with an unbearable amount of fear. "Nathan…" She whispered, slowly lowering her hand. She turned around, fighting back a choking tear she couldn't explain, and headed down first, hoping to show him it would be alright. She took a few steps and waited for the sound of his feet following right behind. When they made it down to the first floor, she quietly opened the door and poked her head out. The hall was surprisingly empty, which was good news for them. She waved for him to go first, "Right behind you, Nathan." She whispered tenderly. He looked left and right and then back at her for a brief second before dashing across the hall towards the main exit. Charlie chased after him, her heart racing a million miles a second. As soon as they were inches away from being home free, Charlie heard the gut-churning sound of someone's door opening behind them.

"…Charlie? Is that you?" Juliet yawned. It was too late to run out now, she had already seen them, and it would've only been more suspicious if they did.

"Juliet! Uh," Charlie struggled to rack her brain for an excuse as to why in the world she was sneaking around with Nathan Prescott. She hoped to God that Juliet wouldn't make any crude accusations about what they were doing in the girls' dorm.

"Um, who is that with you? Is that a boy?" She gasped suddenly. Too late. "Charlie you didn't seem like the type! Wait is that… Nathan? Nathan Prescott?" Nathan stood frozen in his tracks, his breathing becoming increasingly frenzied. He turned to Charlie looking for an answer; his eyes were wide and glazed over like a fish left floundering..

"Fuck," She mumbled under her breath. "Juliet, look, I need you to stay quiet about this, okay? No one finds out. I have to go now, I'll talk to you later!" Smooth, Charlie, real smooth. She grabbed Nathan by the arm and together they ran out to the steps of the building. Charlie's eyes searched the perimeter before they moved forward. "Ah, shit!" They just couldn't catch a damn break. Just as they thought they had escaped, Charlie saw the back of a tall man in a blue uniform, with a black flat-top haircut and a radio in hand. He was pacing back and forth no more than 200 feet from them.

"W-what's wrong?" Nathan asked, gripping onto her shoulder.

"Madsen's over there. And that's the only way back to the boys' dorm. Uh… I guess now that we're out of the dorms we could just walk by him. He can't get us in trouble for walking around campus together, right?"

"No, he's been s-stalking me. For weeks. If he sees you with me he'll start watching you too. It's real shitty being watched, Charlie, trust me. Let's find a way around him…okay?" Now that Nathan was slowly regaining a sense of reality, he wasn't shaking as much. His voice became less maniacal and just became plain frightened. Charlie knew that if he was back to his normal self, he'd be screaming his head off at her for "feeling sorry for him", but she couldn't help but bite her lips at the way his pink eyes sulked at her.

"Okay then… Everyone knows you with that jacket on, he'll spot you immediately. Take that off, and use my flannel to cover your head. " He did as he was told and handed her his crimson letterman, not knowing what to do with it like a child would do to his mother. She hugged the bundle tightly to her chest and lurched forward so that David wouldn't be able to see what she was holding. "Ready?" She dashed forward with her head tucked down, and Nathan followed, with the flannel fluttering rapidly behind him.

"Hey—you two!" David screamed at them, his voice booming and irritated as it always sounded. "Stop! That's an order!" He shouted, his voice stern echoing his days in the army. They ran past him anyway and straight towards the boys' building. He must have decided the chase wasn't worth it, because when they reached Nathan's dorm, no one was following behind.

Nathan recognized his door immediately, and burst into his room like someone gone mad.

"We're here." Charlie sighed. She folded Nathan's jacket and laid it neatly onto his made bed. She turned to look at him with a relieved smile on her face but it was immediately wiped away as she saw him curled up in the corner of his room, beneath the foot of the bed, in a fetal position. His arms covered the sides of his face and he was crying. They were silent tears and she could hear his quiet whines between his shuddering breaths; it made her practically fall to her knees beside him. "Nathan, oh my god." Her voice barely reached a whisper. She rubbed his back, forcing back her own tears and her eyes darted around the room, searching for something that might help him. Her eyes fell upon the CD player she had noticed upon first entering his room, and she tripped over her feet trying to grab it. "Nate… Nate I'm going to leave this here for you, okay?" Whale songs were not her particular method of calming down, but he had to have had them in his room for a reason. The fact that these crying episodes may have been a regular thing made her gut stir with sympathy. Perhaps there was more to this boy than he led off. His crying calmed down for a moment and he lifted one arm away from his face. "Are you feeling bet—"

"Get the FUCK out of my room! Now! Get out!" His sudden screech caught Charlie's voice in her throat.

"Do you need me to—"

"I don't fucking need you to do anything but get the hell out!" He shouted, his voice breaking. She staggered onto her feet and slowly backed out of the room. "Get out Charlie!" She gained enough strength to run out of the room and loudly shut the door behind her. She leaned against the wood and fell to the floor, hugging her legs and burying her face into her knees. The fabric around her eyes began to darken from the tears flowing uncontrollably out of her red eyes. She couldn't fathom what had just happened in the past half hour, and it wasn't that she was crying because her feelings were hurt; she just felt so sorry for whatever caused Nathan to become like this in the first place. She pushed herself from the carpet and rubbed her eyes hard; realizing she had left her flannel in his room. She turned around to face his door and erased the writing on his whiteboard slab. Taking the pen in her shaky hand, she sniffed and wrote him a message,

"Sorry." She clicked the pen back into it's spot and left the boys dorm feeling more empty than she had ever felt before.

Inside his dorm, Nathan remained curled up in a quivering ball of anxiety. His hands were tangled in his hair and he gripped tightly on his scalp as the visions kept coming back. Rachel. Where is Rachel? In the dark room? He fumbled around the messy floor with one hand and found the headphones Charlie had left beside him. He slipped them on and shakily pressed play. The whale songs began to play and he closed his eyes, dreaming of another life, one where he didn't have to hurt people like Charlie.