Here's the next part. As usual I'll update as much and as quickly as I can. I prob wont be able to update next week b/c I'm having visitors so I'm typing like mad so I'll have stuff for you next week. I know where I want to go with this I just have to get it out of me. Please forgive any gramatic issues, who writes perfect english in their journal entries anyway? Enjoy!
We were in the park when I heard this story. My brother was still an infant and Mom was feeding him. Lieutenant Abarai Renji had come to have a picnic lunch with us. He filled in many of the blanks for those early year.
Over the years I noticed how close they were. She always said he was part of her family but they always seemed like more. I could tell dad was jealous of their relationship but he never let it show, but I knew.
He was so handsome with long red hair piled crazily on his head and black tattoos everywhere. Not someone you would expect mother to be that close too, but she loved him dearly. It was always fun when he visited us. There were plenty of stories about mom. It appears she's been the same since their childhood days.
"Rukia was sixteen when we met. We were in the middle of stealing jars of water and being chased by the store owner. He probably would have killed us. Then out of nowhere she took him down and stomped on his head. Such a little thing, just like now, but she had the strength of a man. I was stunned for a second. I had never seen such a beautiful girl…looked like a princess. I thought an angel had come to save us. We were the same height back then if you'd believe it….. We just hit it off right away and we all took care of each other. Things were hard but it all somehow looked better with her around. She talked like us and knew how to handle herself on the streets but she was always different. I always thought she was stolen from some royal family. A woman with real class, she held herself with pride and treated everyone with kindness. I knew she could go and have a great career at the academy but she stayed for us, so we would all be together. There were four of us, the best of friends. She was like a big sister and I vowed my life to her. But then it was just the two of us and she said we should become Shinigami and escape that life." Renji said.
I used to listen to his stories so attentively. It was a life I'd never been exposed to and it seemed so noble and somehow romantic that mom survived it all of that. I could never get enough of the stories from the Inuzuri. Mom told us this part of the story.
"Yes I was really determined that day that the two of us would succeed as Shinigami. We vowed that if one of us got in and the other didn't that we would marry so we could both stay in Seiretei. Luckily we both got in and fate took things from there." Rukia said.
"She didn't fit in there either. It wasn't where she belonged, with us common people."
"Yeah I had a hard time dealing with the change especially all of the control. They control every part of your life when you're at the academy. I didn't know it was going to get worse though. I got used to that but I just couldn't connect with anyone. I've always been a person who just thinks and forgets what's around me. Head always in the clouds, always scared to let anyone in. And it was because of that, I lasted so long without friends." she told me.
"When did you meet HIM?" I asked. At first she didn't want to tell me. Said it had long ago been forgotten.
"I was called to a room. The atmosphere was so heavy, and I was nervous and didn't even know why. I thought that I was in trouble for something. There were three men in the room, a retainer, great grandfather and Byakuya Kuchiki. I had never seen a more handsome man in my life but the look on his face told me he wasn't there for pleasantries. He gave me a proposition. You have a strong resemblance to the late lady of our house. He said. Because of this to honor her memory we would like to offer you a place in the clan as my sister. You will graduate immediately and be placed in the thirteenth division. It is an offer I suggest you not turn down. He said this to me without any warmth, like a business proposal. And how could I go, how could I refuse? I thought to myself. I wasn't going to do it, I almost passed it up. I thought as soon as I told Renji who interrupted the meeting he would ask me to stay with him but he didn't." she said.
"I thought it would be best for her to go. I couldn't give her what they could and it looked like she was drowning in her surroundings. She deserved to be a great lady not just another Shinigami. And it wasn't like he was offering to marry her. I know for a fact I would have stopped her if that were the case. It became my goal to become good enough for that family to give her back to me. I knew I had to find a way to surpass Kuchiki-taicho if I wanted to do that. Letting her go was the biggest mistake of my life too. I spent everyday working, to be good enough to get her back but sometimes your too late. You've got to take opportunities when they appear. If you don't something else will come along and you'll lose it forever." Renji said.
That's how it happened. That's how she got the name Kuchiki and went to live in a big old mansion with very quiet and handsome men. This is about the time her journal entries started and I learned things about her a that I never knew. She kept track of her first week in the household so we have a good look at that time.
Her first night at the manor…
'I was given this blank journal along with several other items that belonged to the late lady of the house. I wish there was a picture of her for me to see but I'm told to not go near the shrine which houses the only one I know of. I was told to wear a kimono to dinner this evening but I didn't have one of my own. A maid who is my personal maid, do you believe I have a personal maid? She had given me one that belonged to the late lady Hisana but it was a mistake for me to wear it. I should have realized it was insensitive because of the resemblence. The lord of the house was upset and dragged the maid out of the dinging room after he questioned her. I was scared for her. I do not know this man that I now call brother or what he's capable of but he did not beat her. I guess that's a good thing.
It was just twenty minutes ago I watched as the lord placed the last of lady Hisana' kimono upon a fire in the garden. I thought I would have been scolded but instead I was ignored. Better then being yelled at. Ginrei-sama My now grand father is the only one who has spoken kindly to me and tells me the resemblance to the lady is amazing. The lord is a strange man. He seems like he resents me being here, it's strange, really, really strange. It doesn't seem right for me to be here, but I am, and it's now law.
I cant believe how big this room is. Its amazing. I never imagined people lived like this. I dreamt of stuff but never in my wildest imagination did I expect such luxury. I've been given such a big room and this place is so quiet. I don't know if I'll be able to sleep in such silence. I will remember to give thanks before I fall asleep.'
Her second night at the manor…
'I was given several brand new kimono this morning. I've never owned anything so beautiful. All I came here with were my uniforms, my sword, and a few trinkets that I kept over the years which was a very small wooden box. My brother does not acknoweldge me. He doesn't talk to me, and takes his meals in his room. He wont even make eye contact with me. After he burned her things last night he spent many hours in the shrine. I waited to see when he would leave but I fell asleep. He must have been there pretty late. I saw him go in just an hour ago and he is still there. It must be hard for him to lose a wife so young. He must have really loved her. It's very sad.'
Day three as a Kuchiki…
'Today I went to my division for my designation. I met Shiba Kaien. He's handsome, strong, and spoke to me like I was a real person. The others around me talk behind my back. They say I didn't earn my place, and I guess I didn't. But if they were in my position they would have taken the opportunity just as I have. I'm going to really have to try hard. I want to prove to everyone I'm not a lost case and just another lazy noble. I may just be street trash to everyone but I know I can make the family proud.
Anyway back to Kaien Shiba. I'm told he's from a royal family. I feel butterflies in my stomach every time he speaks to me. I'm not sure if I'll be able to sleep tonight. Dinner was delicious. Ni-sama went to the shrine again. I only see his shadow.'
Day four…
'He's married! I had to hide today so I wouldn't cry when I found out. It's just not fair and its to the third seat too. She's such a kind and nice woman, very beautiful. I wish I looked like her. She's everything I want to be. I wish I was her instead of a short and homly girl with no personality. I'll never find a boyfriend like him. Hell Renji didn't even want me. I wish I could at least see him. I'm starting to feel so confined here. There's no one to talk to and no one shows the least bit of emotions. It's a stifled and heavy atmosphere but they let me pretty much alone.
I'm told I'll have to start learning how to take my proper place in the family. I can do it, if only for the food. I've never eaten so well. I can't believe how much food there is and things I've never seen before. I'm going to have to train a lot or I'll get fat.'
Day five…
'I met Ukitake-taicho today. He's often ill so I wont get to see him much. I think he must be one of the kindest and polite people I have ever met. He's handsome with long white hair and I hear he's one of the oldest captains and strongest. I hope I get to see him in action some day. He seems to have taken an interest in me. He is having Kaien train me personally soon.'
Day six…
'Today I had the day off. I practiced all morning and afternoon. I can achieve a sloppy first release with my sword. But I really have a long way to go. I'm exhausted so I'm going to bed now.'
Day seven…
'I ran into Kaien-dono today, It was my second day off. We had lunch together. Were becoming friends and he seems to like my company like I like his too. I hope it's not showing favriotism that we spent our shared day off together. I hope his wife wont mind. Tomorrow I find out if I make a seat or not. I have to try with all of my strength, If I do I know it will please Ni-sama and he will start respecting me. He has been saying good morning to me when we pass on our way to work.'
Day eight…
'I failed to get a position. I'm unseated. I'm such a desgrace to the family. I thought I would die today when I went to the shrine to tell Ni-sama. I can still see his back to me sitting there in the dark as I bowed on the ground. His voice rings in my head. What seat are you? He asked me like he expected me to get one, like there was no chance of my not getting one. I'd assume since I'm a noble now I'd get one even if I did bad, but I didn't, I must really be awful. I had to tell him I didn't get a seat. All he said was I see, you are dismissed. I know I've only been here a little over a week but it just seems hopeless that I will ever gain his affections. Even everyone in my division seems to like me now, even grandfather and many of the elders tolerate me. But him, he's such and enigma. I hope when the proper mourning time has passed it will get easier for him and maybe we can at least be acquaintences.'
Day nine…
'I've been so busy all day. Tomorrow morning I am leaving with Kaien-dono to train. We are going to the mountains where he says his water based Zanpaktu and my ice one wont cause any weather issues. He thinks I really have a lot of potential, especially since I already know her name. He says I'm really strong I just need some refining. I'm excited and nervous at the same time. I'm going to be alone with him for six months. Then I'll be going away with him again next year to help train a group of new recruits. No one will miss me here although both Ni-sama and Grandfather wished me a safe journey. I'm going to be stronger when I come back. I'm not going to disappoint anyone, anymore.'
