Chapter 2: The Red Crystal Swap

Around Spooner Street, hidden in the shadows beside houses, trees, and mailboxes, green eyes were staring at Peter and his friends working at their sideshow for the red crystal. They continued to spy as the customers gathered to see the red crystal. "Come one, come all to see the most unusual thing on Earth!"

One of the customers then said, "Amazing, a man that can't walk!"

"You BITCH!" Joe threw himself right off his wheel chair and started beating the crap out of him.

The green eyed creatures were finding the fighting very humorous, but then they saw three people coming and ran off without being seen. They were Meg, Chris, and Monkey on the other side of the street.

"Are we all set?" asked Meg.

"Will she shut up?" Chris whispered to himself and then said "Yes."

"But before we go into action, we should go over our plan first so everyone is clear on what we're doing." said Monkey.

Meg unfortunately started explaining the plan. "First, we throw Reeces Pieces on the ground. Once everyone is fighting over the candy, we swap the Red Crystal with the paper mache one with a flashlight inside."

While Meg, Chris, and Monkey were getting ready for their plan, Stewie and Maskus watched the sideshow from Stewie's bedroom window. "So let me get this straight, if I help you get what you call….umm… the Red Cross-Over Crystal; which I don't know why it's called that, you'll help me take over this world?" Stewie asked Maskus.

Maskus glared at the sight of the people paying a large amount of money to Peter. "That is correct; by the way, how can you perfectly talk with only a few teeth?" asked Maskus.

"I think that question is better left unanswered, and for the first thing; excellent! Now how am I going to steal the crystal? Those oaths will spot us the moment we get in, especially you. I mean you're like the love child of the Shredder, Darth Vader, and that Communist over there."

"Hello." said Amon from Legend of Korra.

Maskus looked at the other masked man with confusion, but decided to ignore him. "You see, I will start a fire across the street in that empty house. After that, you will steal the Red Cross-Over Crystal and replace it with a dangerous fake one I have created." Maskus took out the fake crystal. "With my dark magic, I have created…. a paper mache with a flashlight inside. Nothing can go wrong with this plan!"

While Maskus and Stewie started their plan; Meg, Chris, and Monkey were about to spread the Reeces pieces on the ground. Chris walked by and threw the pieces onto the ground. "Oh look, Reeces pieces. I combination of peanut butter and MnM's. Oh boy, anyone would just love to have these in there tummy. Mmmmmmm." Chris took a hand full from the ground and ran off.

When everyone saw them, they began fighting over them. They all shouted to each other, "Their mine!", "Now mine!"

"They all belong to me!" Peter body slammed some of the customers, possibly crushing them to death.

During the fighting, Monkey swapped the real crystal with their paper mache and ran toward the museum with Meg and Chris. "Boy that was easy." said Chris.

"So what are we going to do with the crystal when we get to the museum?" Meg asked monkey.

"Don't worry; I have an archaeologist friend that will find out what the crystal is."

"I hope its Indiana Jones, because I don't think anything cross-overy happened yet with this fanfiction." said Chris.

Right after Chris said that fourth wall joke, a dark portal formed behind them and something came out of it. "All fouth-wallers shall be destro- …. wait a minute." The thing had noticed what the group has. "Is that the Red Cross-Over Crystal, then what's at the sideshow? I better go tell Master Maskus." So the thing jumped back into the portal and left the three alone for now, but it appeared that Mayor Adam West saw the whole thing.

"I knew gnomes existed! And they said searching for them was a waste of tax money."

Meanwhile, back at Spooner Street; Peter was raising the price to $130 when celebrities came for pointless cameos. "Yes, see the crystal and me amazed by it's mysterious glow. Maybe if you tip me, it will grant a wish."

Maskus was inside Cleveland's old house watching Peter. "Peter, will you remain in your sin throughout your life?" Maskus held out his hand and shot a fire ball on the wall. It didn't take long for the fire to spread. "Yes, burn ... help begin the next phase of the prophecy." Maskus escaped into a dark portal as the flames spread outside. Stewie saw the flames as his signal. Everyone looked at the flames and Stewie moved right in to follow their plan, not knowing they will be swapping a paper mache with a paper mache.

Peter saw the fire and yelled out, "Holy crap, Cleveland's old house! He is not going to like this!"

(Cutaway, I guess.)

Cleveland was sitting in his new house watching T.V. Then he sensed something. "I have a horrible feeling that my old castle is on fire."

Just then, Chris came bursting through the door. "Yay, something cross-overy!"

"Go back to Quahog, Chris."

"O.K.!"

(End Cutaway Gag)

When everyone had their attention on the fire, Stewie ran up to the glass case that has the supposedly real crystal and swapped the crystal with the paper mache. "Wow, the Red Crystal sure is as light as the paper mache one, and it even seems like that there is a flashlight in it just like the fake one, …..wait a minute."

While Stewie was examining what he thought was the real crystal, Peter saw this and ran toward Stewie. "Stewie, don't you play with that, its daddy's! I know it doesn't have an 18+ on it, but it's still my money maker!" Peter grabbed the crystal off of Stewie's hands, he noticed it doesn't weigh the same as the real crystal so he started squeezing it which caused it to break revealing the flashlight. "What the hell!?" Peter then looked toward the other fake crystal and then toward Stewie and made a happy face. "Why you clever little thief, thought you can swap the real crystal with a paper mache. I'm so proud of you!"

Lois and Brian took notice of Stewie's behavior. "I knew those video games were evil. Good thing I've voted for someone that will sue those evil companies, whatever his name is." Lois notice that Brian wasn't paying attention. "Brian?"

"Oh, sorry Lois. Something doesn't seem right."

Quagmire joined in. "You probably caught something from your 'wonderful, charming, smart,' hoes you claim to be your soul mates."

"That can't be!" shouted Stewie. So he took the crystal he put in the glass case and broke it just like Peter did. "What the deuce? What the Hell happened to the Cross-Over Crystal! We don't have much time before the Green-Eyes show up. This calls for drastic measures." Stewie took out a necklace with a green eyed emblem on it. "Maskus! We have a huge problem."

"We're sorry, your call cannot be completed as dialed. Please hang up and dial again."

"Blasted phone jokes!" After waited a bit, Stewie managed to get in contact with Maskus and told him to come right now.

Suddenly Brian stopped arguing with Quagmire. His dog instincts took in and he started barking at nothing. That was when Maskus appearance by slowly coming out of a dark portal, which surprised everyone there. He took notice of his watchers. Knowing that something is very wrong for Stewie to call him in plain site, he asked, "What's wrong Stewie, I was having an amusing conversation with this blonde woman named Julian. A lovely young woman."

"Will this ever stopped?" shouted Brian, remembering about Julian.

Maskus was surprised by Brian talking. "This world has talking animals, oh um I mean neighborhood?"

"Screw that, we have a huge problem here! The real Cross-Over Crystal is gone" Stewie pointed to the remains of the paper maches.

Maskus turned to Peter with his eyes glowing green. "Where is the Red Cross-Over Crystal, overweight American!"

"I don't know?" answered Peter in a childish, scared voice. Then he said with his normal voice, "Wait, Red Cross-Over Crystal, what does that mean?"

Just then, another dark portal appeared and out came a strange creature. The creature is two feet tall, wears an upside down triangle shaped, light khaki colored mask with rounded edges. It also has big round eyes with small green dots and an X shaped mouth. It also has black, bird like legs and feet, with raptor like claws, and a bash of long, black hair sticking out behind the mask. This reminded Peter of the Honeycomb mascot a bit, and of another creature.

"Ahhhhhhhh, a possible Heartless knockoff!"

Maskus floated toward the creature "What is it, Scouter #52? My most trustful minion."

#52 pounded on his mask in respect for Maskus "I'm here to report that a blonde fat boy, an ugly girl or boy, and a talking monkey have the Red Cross-Over Crystal that is vitally needed for your master plan, Master Maskus."

Peter heard this and then stupidly yelled out for Maskus to hear, "So Chris, Monkey, and what her face stole my crystal to give it to a bunch of nerrrdsss so they can lllllearrrrrnnnnn from it. Well not on my watch! Lois, Brian, and Quagmire; come, we're driving to the museum to do something useful unlike last time."

(Cutaway Gag)

Peter is a chaperon for Meg's field trip to the museum. The teacher was explained to the class about a vase. "Everyone, please take note on what is shown on this one of a kind vase, because there is somehow no information on it on the internet and the information is required for you final exam."

Then Peter broke it with a slingshot. "Bullseye!"

"Well you're all screwed."

(End Cutaway Gag)

As they followed Peter's orders despite that some dark wizard is there, Quagmire turned toward Joe and yelled to him, "Hey Joe, are you coming?"

Joe, who was still beating the crap out of the customer, answered, "Go on without me, I still need to finish teaching this BITCH a lesson!"

So Peter, Lois, Brian, and Quagmire drove off to the museum, leaving Maskus, #52, and Stewie behind. "Stewie, why did your parents leave you, their baby, here with someone they don't know and who's dressed like this?" asked Maskus.

"I don't know and I don't give a f**k, but we can use my air ship to get to the museum."

"Good." Maskus turned to #52 and told him, "#52, bring the Scouters and the other master we have here to where you saw those kids and monkey. You will begin your search there. I don't care what damage you cause, just make sure that crystal is perfectly safe!"

"Aye aye master, oh and by the way, if we find a nice woman, can we…you know?"

"You're a sick bastard, a very sick bastard for having those thoughts!"

"Hey I was just going to spread the word not to watch Twilight, not what you were thinking!"

"Oh ummmm good work, you may go now."

Stewie looked at Maskus when #52 left. "So what are you, a joke villain, a serious villain, or an even out villain?" asked Stewie.

Meanwhile after the villains had left, the crowd was still watching Cleveland's old house burning to the ground. "Say, shouldn't we call the fire fighters?"

"Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

End of Chapter