CHAPTER TWO - FRAGMENTS OF SORROW
"I'm just not positive about how I should be feeling..." Olette and Kairi shared a small table and sat across from each other inside the cafe called Nighlurid, the cafe that Olette works at. Olette actually had a few moments to spare before her shift began, so when the two girls arrived in the doors of the pristine and warm coffee shop, Olette went behind the espresso counter, and made a couple of cappuccinos for the both of them. So then there they sat in a comfortable section of the room, near the grand panes of glass and they continued to discuss the events that the troubled girl had described earlier to Kairi.
The two girls felt all too grateful to have been relieved of the freezing temperatures outside. They had shed their winter gear, now donning only their thigh-length, blue plaid, pleated school skirts and their long-sleeved, gray v-neck school sweaters, the v-neck displaying the white school shirt collars and matching blue plaid ties they wore, dark blue knee-high socks, and their black penny loafers. A lock of Olette's chocolate brown bangs fell femininely in her eyes, her deep green orbs peering at the the porcelain cup that was in her hands. She took another sip from her beverage, allowing the hot liquid to warm up her body more.
The girl of brunette hair was now watching the snow still billow about, just on the opposite side of the glass. The sun was almost in full set now, even though it was only going to be 4pm soon. The orange gleam of the sun's rays were barely breaking through the thick gray clouds. But on the horizon you could see the bright patches of orange and yellow shining, the colors bouncing off of the snow on any surface directly in it's path, reflecting brilliant light in many directions, off of rooftops, cars, tree branches, and sidewalks. It was beautiful, but Olette could only take in the sight with an empty feeling still in her heart and a blank expression on her face.
Kairi had her hands enclosed around her mug and watched the coffee swirl around inside it. She wanted to think carefully about what she should say next. "Olley... I'm so sorry." she spoke softly, her tone expressing care for her confused friend. Her and Olette had just finished a lengthy consultation about the day's earlier events that occurred in the school halls. Verdant eyes had grown weary from her already exhausting and emotional day. Olette pinched the bridge of her nose to help alleviate some of the pressure on her head. Kairi continued to speak, "But tell me honestly... how does what Roxas does make you feel?"
Olette leaned back into her chair and contemplated over Kairi's question briefly, she pulled the hems of the sleeves of her sweater down further so that she could clutch them into her palms, then she exhaled, ready to answer. "I feel divided ultimately. I don't want to be selfish. I want Roxas to succeed, for both our sake. I am thrilled for everything he has accomplished and sacrificed. I truly am. In his actions, I know he loves me. I want to be completely supportive to him. Anything he needs or wants me to do, I want to do it for him."
"But..." Kairi interjected, getting prepared for Olette's other reasoning. Olette bit her bottom lip for a moment in frustration, cursing herself for what she was about to say out loud for the first time.
"But... on the other hand... I'm so pissed!" At this Olette's voice became sickened when she spoke. The thoughts of rejection began to rear up again, slowly consuming her heart. She felt something in her chest tighten it's grip on her lungs and her pulse. It was horridly uncomfortable. "I'm worried and so lonely. I feel... almost unwanted..." She paused here to think about the words that came from her own mouth, it was clear in her visage that she was disappointed, it was covered in it. "...But how could that be true? That's where I get really confused. Why? Why do I feel this way when factually there is no real reason to?"
She was on the verge of tears again. The pain in her chest carried on it's relentless assault. "He has kicked me to the curb so many times now... and I hate it! I just want him to pay more attention to me..." her voice held so much hurt, trying to keep her breath steady, she spoke in a quiet and almost ashamed way. "I get no affection. Zero. I will throw myself at him, I beg him to take me home with him, if only for a little while. But he will not allow it. Saying to me that it is for the best. But I have needs! I am in this relationship too. And having absolutely no personal time with him isn't what I would call one. I work very hard here to make munny for us. And I save all of it so we might make a home together after we graduate."
Now her voice was getting more to an irritated point. Colorful emerald eyes smoldered with a silent anger. "I'm working full-time! At most forty hours a week. I get tired! Sometimes the pressure of work and school and my family becomes too much for me to handle! But I say nothing. I press on. Just like Roxas does. But I still crave affection from him. And I am willing to make time for him. I crave it... why doesn't he too?" Olette's eyes came to look directly into Kairi's grey tinted blues.
"Have you not said any of this to him?!" Kairi asked with a knitted brow and narrow eyes. She felt a feeling of protectiveness rise within her. How dare he make her feel this way? It made Kairi beyond aggravated right now, just thinking about how smug Roxas must be feeling to be getting his way... being terribly inconsiderate towards her best friend...! Kairi clenched her right hand into a fist. Kairi knew what she wanted to say next, but she was hesitant in saying it. She didn't want to reopen any old wounds, that wouldn't help right now... she tussled with the thought of her next action, but then Olette spoke again.
"...Of course I've talked about it with him." Olette hung her head slightly, breaking eye contact from Kairi, her delicate frame looking as if it could just shatter. "But there is no way of getting my point across to him. All I can really do is wait this all out. Wait until we're done with school and summer arrives again." She closed her lush and elegant lashes together and let a sigh escape her pink lips. Her mind drifted to him, picturing in her mind how she loved him. His adorable blond faux-hawk, boyish charm, his infectious laugh that was such a gift to hear come from him, his relaxed demeanor, his determined mind... his secure grip on her body when he held her in his bed... and wonderful sweet-nothings he used to whisper in her ear at night. How he used to get possessive of her.
"I want things to be how they used to be. These days I feel like I have to force him to give me a compliment. I feel like if I didn't talk to him at all, he would just forget about me. I feel like all I do now is annoy him and bother him..." At this, Olette blanked completely almost as if she realized something deep down. Could it be true...? Had the love of her existence finally grown tired of her? "I mean... I'm not that terrible of a girlfriend, am I?" Olette felt a sob choking up in her throat. "Urg... for fucks sake... Just listen to me! I sound like a blubbering baby... This is terrible."
"Absolutely not Olette!" Kairi exclaimed, her cheeks becoming flush with the heat of vexation, nearly matching the same tones in her burgundy hair, all the while making her blue eyes shine and stand out more. "You are an incredible girl to be holding a fucking torch for him like this! But you don't deserve this treatment from him whatsoever! He's being inconsiderate of your feelings! And it's unfair because a relationship isn't a one way street!" Kairi gave a good pound on the table with her clenched fist, clearly upset with Roxas' actions, her stern voice and angry attitude were roughly accentuating her cuteness. But it wasn't unlike Kairi to get this upset and to want to stand up to those against her friend.
Olette gave a sad smirk to her. "I know you're right. I hate being being just left on the sidelines by him, forgotten. He doesn't even think about how what he does affect me. But Kai... am I taking this all to literally? Maybe I am just weak..."
"Hell no! No! Olley, you are in love, but that in no way makes you weak. You have to give yourself more credit in that aspect. You've given Roxas the last 3 years of your life to him, along with many other things. Obviously you're going to get affected when he stops reciprocating the same feelings back to you..." Kairi winced at the last words that came out of her own mouth. Perhaps she's letting her exasperation get the best of her and now she was getting carried away. "I shouldn't have said it like that, I don't really want her to think that Roxas has stopped having feelings for her." Kairi thought. Olette just sat there, drained, unresponsive. Just thinking over the last words that Kairi spoke.
"What would I do if it was true...?" And that was the thing that scared Olette the most.
"Olette..." Kairi began her next sentence, waiting to see if her friend was paying attention. Kairi decided she had to push Olette to think of the worst in order to explore all possibilities, so all of this can be solved. And in Kairi's righteous mind, what she was about to say next made all of the most sense to her, and explained Roxas' strange behavior. She took a deep breath, she did hate to have to open these old wounds though, she knew how it sucked to have to face past afflictions. "Olette... do you think Roxas is-"
"NO!" Olette immediately interjected Kairi. She didn't want to hear her say it. Even though, Olette had been thinking the very same thing this whole time. Olette still wouldn't look Kairi in the eye.
"Olley I'm sorry. But you should think of it as a possible answer." Kairi was going to get hell for saying these things, and she knew it. But Kairi wasn't about to make everything sound like all rainbows and kittens this time. If Roxas was doing the same things as he did in the beginning of their relationship, Kairi would have to make Olette face the truth. Kairi folded her hands in her lap and continued. "He has acted like this before and you know it. I know you have recognized it too, but you are probably just too afraid to admit it..." Olette just kept her gaze on the snow outside.
"But Kai... that was a long time ago. When we were only a few months into our relationship..."
"I know... but if I remember correctly it continued on after that for a few more months."
"But we talked about that with each other too! I told him I wanted him to stop! And I haven't seen or heard anything that indicated that he was doing it again!" Olette started feeling seriously sick now. Her stomach was churning with unwanted anguish with her mind receiving flashbacks of two and a half years back. Her petite face twisted into a grimace.
"C'mon Olley... you see the signs in his behavior, just like he had shown you before. Keeping his distance from you. Making excuses of not being able to see you. Denying you romance. Hardly speaking to you unless you approach him. Saying he's too busy-"
"But Kai!" Olette interrupted again, her voice quivering and her rosy lips trembling with the most hurtful frown. She bit her lower lip to steady her shaking. "This time I know he's not doing it anymore!"
"Remember how much he hurt you back then? Remember how long it took him to confess to you? Remember how much you asked yourself why you weren't good enough for him? He made you feel that you weren't good enough for him!" Kairi kept insisting that Olette look at the situation from another angle. That maybe Roxas was now still hiding things from his girlfriend.
"I haven't any proof to know that he's still going there! All that is clear to me is that he is working his ass off to get those high grades! And I have seen his report cards to know that it is true! So I know that he isn't just wasting all that spare time... goofing around...!" Olette proceeded to rebuttal Kairi's statements, Kairi was certainly the head-strong type, and she was determined to have Olette consider this an option. After all, Roxas once had a reputation... Kairi wasn't going to let Olette just cover this up forever and pretend that it wasn't a problem worth at least thinking over, so her accusation remained. It felt as if Kairi the Mother was scolding Olette the Child.
"That doesn't mean he couldn't be hiding it from you at the same time... wouldn't you say that that was possible? That maybe he found a way to do his schoolwork half the time and then skip off to the theatre the other half the time. All the while keeping you in the dark. Passing off excuses to you, using the same reason over and over again." Kairi now had her arms crossed against her chest. She was thinking intently on this, really trying to decide what it was that Roxas could be doing to Olette. The dear sweet girl... who would not dream of accusing her boyfriend of going against his promise.
Kairi then raised an eyebrow in a pondering way. "Take tonight for instance... you told me he said to you that he couldn't be with you tonight due to overwhelming amounts of studying. Though... I have heard that on Friday nights they run specials at the theatre. He very well could be on his way there tonight after he does do a couple hours of homework! ...Is it not possible Olley? That maybe it's something you should consider checking him up on...?" Olette held her forehead in her palm, still turned away from Kairi and looking out the window. If only she could shrink away from this place right now... "Why is she doing this to me...? Why is she making me think about it like this...?" All of the memories she suffered from and had never wanted to think about again were suddenly resurfacing. She had tucked them so far in the back of her mind and now they were replaying in snippets.
/FLASHBACK/
Inside Olette's kitchen. The lights are turned off and it is dark inside and outside. No noise could be heard, they were alone in the house. It was nearly pitch black surrounding them, the only source of light was a muted TV screen with flickering images shining faintly from the living room into the adjacent kitchen. Olette stood upright next to the sink... mouth slightly agape from sudden shock, trying to process in her mind how to take in what he just confessed to her. Her vibrant emerald eyes, wide and unmoving. Her beautiful and dainty face vacant of color and turned pale. Roxas... he was on his knees in front of Olette... in tears.
He clutched the fabric of her cotton white summer skirt, he had his face buried into her midriff, and quiet sobs could be heard leaving his mouth, muffled. He clutched onto her with a death grip, for fear that if his hold was any less, she would surely walk away from him. But all she did was stand there, staring straight ahead. It was... a very sorry state to see him in. The usually so smooth, casual, and complacent boy was in full begging position in desperate crying. And yet Olette showed no reaction.
Her silence put him on edge. He was still holding on to her as tightly as he could without hurting her, hoping for any sort of response from the girl. "Olette...!" He managed to choke out through his weeps. He reached his arms up higher and wrapped them around her waist, and he turned his chin upwards to try and look at her face. Tears just streaming down his cheeks in a mess, staining her outfit, wet patches all over. "I'm sorry...!" He cried out, his brain clamoring for some way to entreat her more. "Pleeeease! Say something!"
She looked down and stared at him in utter bewilderment. She felt the need to cry, but she couldn't get herself to breathe first. She looked him in the eyes and try to search for something... yes something. But what? She didn't even know. She felt too petrified to know what to do. She wanted to look for an answer in his eyes without actually speaking out loud to him. He was hanging on her like a pathetic dog. Why was he even touching her? Eck! She wanted him off of her! Eww! He must have been touching those... women... and now he was touching her too! 'Get off of me!' She screamed in her head.
She began to struggle against him. Trying to pry his sticky skin off of her body. "Let me go!" she finally said. But Roxas held tight, still trying to get her to look at him again. She had looked so scared before when she looked him in the eyes... she was frightened by what she saw in them? He did this to her... her eyes... void of any exuberance, they were dark and dilated. And now he strained to hold on to her, repositioning his grip around her firm and soft hips, peering up at her from the ground, but darkness covered her face every way she turned. "No, I don't want to let you go!"
She pulled at his arms with all the strength she had. 'Oh for fucks sake, please stop touching me!' Her breathing became abnormal and quickened, a tightening in her chest began. Hyperventilation was creeping on her. She tried twisting every which way, really putting up a fight. "ARGH! Get away from me!" she growled at him. She tried placing her hands on his shoulders and pushing herself away from him, her attempt failing.
Sickened by his touch, disgust writhing within her, she made her next move. Olette raised her slender hand up high and swiftly brought it down across his cheek, sending his head flying in the opposite direction, a loud smack sound echoed in his ears. And for a second he could have sworn his vision went white, and then the pain came, stinging him like needles. He released her to hold his face in his hands, slouching over where he knelt.
Olette walked away from him to a wall on the other side of the kitchen, leaving the pitiful boy to wallow in his sad state. She took bunches of her skirt in her clutched hands, trembling with fear and fury. With those feelings came a strange heat, it spread up her arms and into her neck, it was a kind of heat that made her feel nauseous, ailing her strength. Olette had so many thoughts and emotions pent up within her, but she was straining to do anything about it, all of it was literally bouncing around inside her. She wanted to speak, she wanted to scream... her breath was held so tight in her lungs that it was painful, but she didn't know whether it would be more painful to let go.
She stayed there leaning against the wall for support, 'Just do it...' she said to herself, and in an instant her vision became slick and blurry with tears. And she cried out "ROXAS WHY?" her voice waning with exasperation. "Why did you do this to me...? What did I do...?" She let her shoulders slouch forward, wanting to curl into herself, whimpering.
Roxas, as if he was renewed by her voice, got to his feet and scrambled to her. He went to stand directly in front of her and he grabbed her shoulders. "Sweet pea... my sweet pea, please..." he begged again, "I'm so sorry..."
That goddamn pet name he called her. She cringed at the sound of it. It didn't feel right at all anymore, he shouldn't be talking to her like that now. Hearing it enraged her more. "How long...?" Olette asked him, the sobs still shaking her body.
"...H-huh?" was all Roxas could respond with.
"HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN GOING THERE?" she spat out at him, angry with him for acting dumb. "HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB BEHIND MY BACK? HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN LYING TO ME?" She was suddenly reminded of where his hands have been and all of the revolting thoughts of dirty girls, sweaty nakedness, and lust filled grinding flooded her brain again, and she felt retched with anguish all over again. "Get your hands off of me!" she shoved him away from her and backed up a few feet.
And Roxas' face sunk, it was all too painful for him to have his Olette only want to create distance between them, when all he wanted to do was hold her closer. He just wanted to hold her and make this entire situation just disappear, he could just go back to making her laugh... but of course, that would only be the easy way out. And this situation was too far gone to become undone so easily. So he just let his arms hang at his sides, wrought with shame.
"So tell me, how long...?" Olette whimpered again, her arms now crossed against her, holding herself.
Roxas hung his head, clenched his fists at his sides, and stayed like that for a moment, very hesitant in giving her the answer. He felt so stupid, he himself was now reflecting on his decisions, and regretted them all now, only too late to realize how much those decisions would hurt her. With much disdain, he responded "...two months... almost once a week..."
Olette's face, usually so care-free and resplendent, was drained of all color and twisted with suffering. It was hard to hear it, even though she wanted to know. But what it meant to her now, was that if Roxas was telling her the truth, the past two months that she had known was false, and any happy memories she shared with Roxas within that time quickly crumbled into pieces as she recalled them into remembrance.
And that at least once a week, on a day without her knowledge, Roxas turned his heart against Olette, his so called "sweet pea", and went and indulged his animalistic desires with other women she wasn't even aware of. And what punctured her soul completely was that she had assumed all was well, that the past 6 months she spent with him was a waste, and that Roxas entirely betrayed and used her. With these heated onslaught of thoughts and the fact that this boy literally giving off a scent of abhorrence was standing so near to her, she really felt the urge to be sick.
"...I'm so sorry... Olette, I-I hadn't wanted to go in the first place! Zell and Snow had dragged me along with them the first time, they wanted to take me there to celebrate my birthday...! ...And then... well..." it registered with Roxas that his excuse wasn't the best one halfway into it, but he had to explain it all to her now rather than later. "...and then... the next few times... it just became something to do with the guys..." At that, he then saw the noticeable sting that struck within Olette. His brown haired beauty...
'Of course... Zell and Snow are of age, they would have no problem getting a teenager into the theatre...' Olette comprehended this part of the problem. Snow was Roxas' older brother. And Zell was Snow's best friend. Both Zell and Snow probably frequented the strip club together, they were the type of guys that would be seen there all the time. To party, to drink, to drool over fleshy titilation dancing and rubbing up against them, like they were hot shots. Though they had nothing else going for them, no real relations with girls, they were out of high school and were now working their own way through the college scene.
Zell and Snow were two of the funniest friends Olette had the pleasure of knowing. Big on fun and big on humor, and they were something to be admired in the aspect of how to live life without worries. Naturally, Roxas followed his older brother in all the things Snow did, mostly just because Snow's attitude was so infectious and was someone Roxas looked up to. Snow made things enjoyable and was enjoyable to be around. So, it did make sense that this would be the reason Roxas began going with them there. But still...
"You continued to go even after one time..." Olette's quiet tears persisted to flow down her delicate cheeks. This was not only an issue of betrayal, but also an issue of Roxas making it seem that Olette was satisfying him. Roxas remained silent, not wanting to reply to Olette's previous statement, of course it was true. "I want to know what you did." she demanded.
"What? W-what do you mean?" Roxas stammered.
"..." Olette had trouble forming a sentence. She was so bothered by the idea that she couldn't bring herself to explain what she meant. "Tell me... *sob* Did you touch them...? How did they touch you...? I want to know..."
Roxas squeezed his eyes shut, furrowed his brow, and ran his hand through his blond hair. Now she wanted the descriptions. 'Fuck me...!' he cursed himself. He then hung his head very low, chin hitting his chest. He was feeling the heaviness of this whole ordeal weighing on him, he was tired now. He didn't want anymore of this! "Please Olette... those stupid details, it doesn't matter. Don't make me talk about that shit. Please... lets go sit down. I just want to hold-"
"NO!" she yelled at him. Roxas had tried to reach to take her small hand in his strong one. But before he could finish expressing what he wanted, Olette swiftly smacked his hand away. "It does fucking matter! You did this to me! You can't just expect me to ignore details! You tell me right now! I need to know!" It was amazing, Olette never knew Roxas could be so idiotic. She was actually struck with awe all the while shocked by the nerve he had to suggest that they simply forget talking about it anymore for now, and go resume their positions on the couch in front of the TV.
Roxas ran his hand through his blond spikes again and released a tight breath that he was holding in. Olette could sense anger building up inside him, the tension was so intense. He just stood there with his gaze to the floor. Roxas listened to his girlfriend's cries, and they troubled him beyond any torment he had ever experienced in his short life. Now he felt she was only asking him to continue to abuse her by telling her these insignificant facts. To describe what happened in that strip club to her, was to set himself up for his demise.
Suddenly he couldn't take it anymore, and Roxas rose a quick fist, and in a controlled fashion, landed a fierce punch on the wall. A picture frame that was hanging in the kitchen rattled vigorously, and threatened to fall down as it became askew on the nail. Olette flinched back when he did this and curled further into herself, surprised by his actions. But her eyes stayed fixed on him, she stayed strong, and wasn't about to let him scare her.
"...Yes... I touched them..." Roxas stayed facing towards the wall, his fist still pressed into it as he spoke to her. "Snow and Zell both offered me drinks... and after a few bottles, things became... dizzy... I remember sitting down and watching them dance... and then later, three girls would come over to us and take us into a dark corner..." Roxas' voice became quieter as he proceeded, absolutely embarrassed for these words he had to speak to the girl he loved. His fist on the wall fell limp, and now he was resting on the wall with it as he leaned.
"...They sat us down, and Snow handed over to them some large bills... And as I watched him do this, the girl in front of me, with only a thong on... she would get on my lap... and start grinding into me... She would wrap her arms around my neck... rub my legs... she would rub her tits... and everything else in between..." Roxas let his forehead bang into the wall. "...It wasn't until after the first couple of times that then these girls started taking us into a dark private room, with couches...
"They gave all three of us liquor and champagne... fruit and chocolate... and then they would lap dance us again... And this is where I would be allowed... to touch them back... The one that danced for me, she would say that she liked me because I was so young... When she would grind on me... I would touch... her thighs... her back... and I would squeeze her... I would be so drunk... and I would let my face rub... And I felt so encouraged... to do these things by Snow and Zell and the girl dancing..." Roxas pinched his eyes closed, clenched his teeth, and pounded his fist a final time into the wall. This time making the picture frame become unhooked and fall to the floor, with a ringing crash, and the glass on the frame shattered.
It was nearly unbelievable. Olette stood unaltered by the crash of the picture frame, too altogether shocked to notice anything else at all. She felt that any happiness that she had left had been completely avulsed, taken away with Roxas' last words. All the information in the world couldn't have prepared her for the onslaught of words that came from him, she felt as if she was pummeled. She couldn't stand to look at his face, she sensed that he was waiting for her to react, but all she could do was hold herself and stare at his shoes.
It was too much too bear, she kept thinking to herself... 'My sweet Roxas... why would you do this to me...? My beautiful boy who said he loved me... who said he belonged to only me... I don't know this guy anymore at all!' Any other emotion aside, she felt utterly crushed most of all. This was the guy who cared for her on her dreariest of days, all of her problems disappeared when she was with him, the guy that held her, kissed her, protected her... a guy who she thought she knew for so long.
And now here he is, tormenting with her feelings, lying, betraying, desiring other woman, dangling his affection for her on a string and ripping it away, like he must think it was funny. It must be really funny to him, to pretend to be faithful to one oblivious girl and then run off behind her back and play squeezes on promiscuous sluts! She was a fool... Olette, distraught and overcome with agitation, collapsed to her knees, her breath left her lungs as they tightened, hyperventilating again, and then came then uncontrollable sobs that she fought so hard to keep inside.
Too many hurts... too many thoughts... too much hate. "Olette!" Roxas dropped to the floor next to her and grabbed her by the shoulders. She was like jelly now, he shook her and she shook limply. Her crying becoming harder, making it difficult for her to get a breath in between sobs. She lost control, emotions taking over all actions. Roxas felt fear, his face torn, if she didn't try to calm down she might pass out. "Olette please breathe!" He shook her again. "Breathe with me!" Olette felt the pain only grow, she was getting dizzy... "Olette...!" His voice sounded farther away. "Olette please breathe...!" Black spots clouded her vision, until everything went silent...
\END FLASHBACK\
Olette was holding her forehead in her hand, glistening eyes staring into her lap. God, that hurt to think about again. She silently wished for repressed memories to stay repressed. She shook her head a little to snap out of it and return to the present, sniffling her nose. She liked to think that she came a long way since then, she was a hysterical wreck, a hot mess. In the aftermath, she toughened up big time. Sensitive though she still may be, but stronger now to face overwhelming situations. She brushed her chocolate bangs away from her eyes, straightened up in her seat and looked at Kairi in the eyes.
"I won't let that happened to me again. Ever." Olette finally spoke, seriousness coated her voice. Kairi sensed such determination suddenly vapor from Olette, she was pleased with her friend's words and Kairi smirked.
"Good. Then I can trust that you will at least look into it? Talk to him again. Talk to the guys, find out what is been on his brain when you aren't around. I don't want to meddle so much when there might not be anything for me to meddle with. But Olley, please..." Kairi placed her hand on green eyed quandary's and squeezed gently, "Just be cautious, you have every right to be after what he did to you, and what is going on right now. I care for you, I don't want you to go through that hell again if it can be prevented."
Olette nodded to the burgunette. "Ok Kai. Thank you so much. *sigh* I just hope that whatever is going on, it's not anything like I fear it is." she squeezed Kairi's hand back.
"For everyone's sake, I hope so too." Kairi exhaled. "Thank you for talking to me about it. I know it's very hard to be bringing up the past, but I'm only thinking of your well-being." Olette went back to holding her mug and polished off the rest of the milky foam.
"I understand. I'm not going to be weak. That's not who I want to be. I can face facts. I'm glad to have you to challenge me into doing these things. These situations are only going to strengthen me from now on." with that statement, Olette knew what she was going to do, and she gave Kairi a small smile.
Suddenly, Sora came up to the side of their seats, finally arriving. His cheeks and nose were pink and snowflakes covered his head and shoulders. "How are things going girls?" he greeted with a bold smile, happy to be inside the café's warmth. He pulled up a chair from an opposite table and sat on it next to Kairi. Kairi beamed at the sight of him, thrilled at his unexpected arrival.
"Hi Sora!" Olette smiled, glad he showed up at a good time and to help lighten the mood.
"Yay! You made it safe!" Kairi cheered. Sora took off his thick coat and rubbed his hands together to create heat, then leaned over to kiss his girlfriend on the cheek with a loud smack. "AH! You're so cold! Don't kiss me like that!" Kairi hissed and shivered, followed by laughs from all three of them.
"But I need heat! Fucking winter." Sora whined. Kairi pouted and felt bad for him. She took his hands in hers and helped to rub some more heat into his fingers, he held her palm too and blew hot air onto their grasp.
"Better?" Kairi asked.
Sora smiled, "Much better." He swung his grey school sweater covered arm over the back of Kairi's chair and hugged her shoulders closer to him and relaxed into his seat.
Once again, Olette felt isolated. Observing their behavior, interacting with each other like that, and she couldn't help but feel a little jealousy sneak up on her. She missed him...
"Olley, don't look so glum! I know it's shitty outside, just be glad you're safe in here." Sora commented with his famous goofy grin. Kairi glanced at Olette with a knowing look, feeling nearly ashamed to have shown affection with Sora in front of her. But Olette, true to her nature, changed her expression immediately to fit her usual personality, and joked.
"Pfft! I can brave this weather better than anyone else can!" she said sassily. "I walk all over town day and night, I mean I'm used to it by now. I can walk circles around you in this cold, Sora!" Olette's eyes brightened, she was feeling a little better. The three of them laughed at her sudden silliness.
"Sora's a big baby." Kairi smirked.
"It's true, I really am." he said as a matter of fact and nodded playfully, pretending to agree, and made the girls giggle. "Oh Kai, I texted you that I was on my way earlier, just to let you know, but you never responded. Kinda disappointed me, I was expecting all of these worry filled texts. Heh heh." he chortled.
"Ah! I'm sorry! I just forgot, I mean me and Olley were talking so much, and I think I left my phone on silent still from school." Kairi tapped her forehead in remembrance and then reached into her messenger bag to find her phone, wanting to confirm what happened.
"Well it's fine, hun. I forgive you." Sora said, hugging her shoulder again. Kairi looked down at the screen in her palms, somewhat upset she missed it. Sora kissed her forehead.
"Well! I gotta get to work now. You two enjoy yourselves." Olette stated, starting to rise from her seat. She began to collect her things together. "Kairi, thanks so much again."
"Of course! Always good to talk. Thank you for the cappy," Kairi rose her mug in a toast in reference to the drink
"Sora, would you like me to make you something?" Olette asked, now picking up her own mug, coat in her arm and satchel in hand.
"Yeah a dirty chai would be great! Thank you!" he exclaimed. Olette nodded and turned to move behind the café counter. She hoped that a good night's work would help to put her in a better mind frame. She greeted her boss and co-workers as she put the dish in the sink, hung up her belongings, and clocked in for work. On weekdays, she usually just wore her school uniform to work. To add dazzle to the ensemble, she handmade her own cute apron. Vintage styled that had a halter top and flared at the bottom, a small pocket at the hip, in a orange color and hemmed with white. Her livelihood was this café now, and she wanted to look nice doing it.
She made Sora his beverage and he drank it happily. Olette took one more glance at the couple. Eased up against each other on this deathly chilled night, sharing warmth, sharing coffee. She tucked a of her wavy brown locks behind her ear and took a mental photo of that scene. Her two best friends under the glow of the dimmed light of the lamp, engrossed in just each other. Him acting and her reacting. Making her laugh, giving a sweet kiss, huddled inside comfortably. Darkened green eyes witnessed this and she promised to herself that she would one day have that with Roxas again.
The lost girl turned her head away and decided to try and not think of it anymore while she was at work, she needed to have a level head to perform while she was here. The café grew noisier by the minute as the evening rush was coming through. Town folk arriving for a nightcap of espresso, meet friends for coffee, alone time for studying and a light bite to eat. Olette was the most experienced barista of the group and was designated to operate the espresso machine for the rest of the night. She started to feel excited to bang out drinks on the bar. So, she adorned her hair with a plain white hachimaki, rolled up her sleeves, and got down to business, high energy rolling through her as she worked.
It was a good 4 hours that passed before the café finally began to settle down and started to empty out a little. Sora and Kairi had left long ago, waving goodbye to Olette as they walked, and Sora always took Kairi home first. It was time for Olette to take a break, it was a grand exhilaration to work hard for so long and then be able to rest. She smiled to herself and grabbed her water bottle that she kept cold in the fridge. She made a small salad with goat cheese to eat, sitting down at a vacant table with her textbooks, Olette read to herself to keep her mind from wandering. But presently, it didn't seem to work, and it frustrated her.
She sat still for a moment, vanished with her thoughts. "I love him so much... I just want to be with him... I wish I could talk to him now. Could I...?" Olette then reached into her satchel and pulled out her cellphone. When unlocking the screen, it read 8:15pm. No calls or texts. The sorrow struck her in the heart again, and she suddenly felt very alone. "I don't want to be right in this... But I know he just won't... he won't talk to me unless I talk to him first... And that's just too fucked up..." She fingers scrolled through the list of names on her phone, and pressed the key to call Roxas.
*ring*
*ring*
*ring*
*ring*
*ring*
*ring*
*ring*
"~The number you have reached, 5-5-5-1-2-8-7, is not available. Please leave a message after the tone.~ *beeeeep*" Olette hung up. No answer. Not even an answer this time...? She felt her eyes begin to sting. And then in this moment, for the first real time, she began to believe what Kairi mentioned might be true. She sniffled her nose, stored her phone away, and lay her head in the crook of her arm on the table. She was, very sleepy now, and she felt a headache coming on. What was she to do? Right now, the anguish seemed endless. And she had yet to form any solution that agreed with her.
questions? comments? criticisms? my apologies for not updating in the longest of days. it was a busy summer with work and school. but my lavish literary lines will never stop. thank you to all who reviewed and added as a favorite and read my story! it means a great deal to me. just to answer some questions: i suppose this is somewhat of an AU fic. but not really. the setting is twilight town, but would twilight town have night/day/winter? *shrug* but it is part of my fic. the characters will be somewhat OOC. i want to do my best to keep it close enough to their original personalities, but this is a dramatic romance, and some people just lose their shit. XD :they compromise, change, and cope: i hope you enjoyed, i hope it didn't disappoint. i'll continue to update and do my best. and thanks be to Springflake for the wonderful art that is the cover for this fic.
- rainrocksy
I DO NOT OWN THESE CHARACTERS. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED TO THEIR RESPECTIVE OWNERS. THE ONLY THING I CLAIM IS THIS ORIGINAL STORY PLOT. thank you for not suing.
