I've been trapped inside this moment
I'm not a victim, I'm not a freak
Free me
before I slip away
Heal me
wake me from this day
Can somebody help me?
I wake up to the sound of banging, and it sounds like he's coming towards the door to come for me again. I cringe and sit up and back to the wall with my knees to my chest. I close my eyes as I hear the door knob turn. I hear the slow steps coming down the stairs and I'm literally praying for my life. It's over, Gail, I think. I squint my eyes and that's when I see it. Andy. I think I'm hallucinating but that's when Andy runs toward me, takes off her jacket and lays it around me.
"Gail. Oh my God, you're okay." She kneels down, she turns on her radio, "Got her, in the basement. I need a medic."
"Please, don't let them come down here. Oh god, where is he?" I say, not even knowing it until after it's out.
"He's dead. You're safe, Gail, I promise. I'm here." She picks up her radio again, "guys, just stay up for now- until the medic's get here, thanks. I got her."
Andy sits beside Gail, waiting for the EMTs, it seems like forever, Gail has rested her head on Andy's shoulder. That's when the EMTs come thumping down the stairs, and Gail sparks up looking around, looking for him. Then she remembers, she's safe, these are the EMTs.
"Ma'am, okay, we're the EMTs. Can you walk?" They say, as they take her pulse quickly.
"Um, yeah, I think so." She says, though she really isn't sure.
"Okay, I'm going to get a blanket to cover you and we'll take you out to the hospital and to the hospital to get checked out. Your stomach is really bruised, and you're bleeding from multiple places, so I think that's best. Is that okay?" The EMT asks. As if she has a choice to say no. Ha.
"Uh, yeah. Whatever." Gail bites back, she hates hospitals, she hates that she is now officially a victim, she hates the pity looks in their eyes and all the sympathy, and how they're treating her like she's so fragile. She just wants to go home, shower, and go to bed forever.
The EMT passes her the blanket and she wraps it around herself like a safety blanket. She slowly stands up with the assistance of Andy and the medic and they walk up the steps one by one. It's killing her, but she has to do it, she can't look weak in front of everyone. She pauses for a second, before they reach the top. Struggling.
"Are you okay?" Andy asks. Gripping her arm to keep her up, but trying not to hurt her.
"Yeah, I guess, I just don't want everyone to see me like this. But I really just want to get out of here, go home."
The look in Gail's eyes is gut-wrenching to Andy, she has no idea what she had gone through, but by the way Gail is acting, it's bad. Really bad. Strong Gail, isn't so strong anymore, and she doesn't know how to act, so she just tries to do everything she can. "After the hospital, and I'm sorry you have to do this. Let's just get out of here, okay?" Andy says, trying to encourage her, because she knows for one thing, Gail definitely doesn't want to spend another minute in this basement, ever again.
By the time they get past the sympathetic looks of the other rookies and Sam, they get her into the ambulance and Andy rides with Gail.
Once the doors are closed on the ambulance, Gail takes a deep breath and lies back on the stretcher, making sure the blanket is covering her. This vulnerable feeling is horrible.
Andy looks at her, "It's okay you know. It's just me here. Are you okay, seriously?"
Gail's look is almost dazed, and she just says, "I really don't know."
Andy hates to bring it up, but she has to. "Gail, you probably know this, but I have to take your statement. As soon as you're ready. I don't want to rush you, but I just wanted to get it out there."
Gail nods. It's clear she's fighting back the tears, though she's trying to hide it. "Yeah, I know. Can we just get it over with?"
Andy nods. Who is this going to be harder for? Andy to hear what happened or Gail to tell her exactly what had happened. Gail felt humiliated and all Andy could feel was guilt, she couldn't save her, from whatever had happened.
"He was drugging me," she blurts out. "For however long, I don't even know how long I was there." She looks at Andy, wondering now.
"Four days." Andy says, as she looks down at her notepad, avoiding eye contact thinking it may make it easier for Gail, and for her.
"Well for like three days, he was drugging me, and all I really remember is hazy, and him beating me up. Today when he first came in, he unstrapped me from the table I was on and let me put on my clothes," she chokes out. She's crying now, she can't help it, "it was so cold. The concrete, I mean. He had my hands tied still though. Um, I don't know how much longer it was 'til when he came back, sorry. But that's when he got rough, he just, he hit me and I smacked my head off the wall, and I got kind of dizzy and that's when he started kicking me in the stomach, and-" she cuts herself off. She can't talk about what happened next. Andy will think she's so weak, but she has to tell to get checked out at the hospital, she needs him off of her, she can still feel him all over her.
Andy looks at Gail, waiting for her to continue, and can see she's struggling. She had thought about everything that could have happened, and Gail's hesitation confirmed the worst. "Gail, you can wait, if you want to.. if it's too hard."
"No- no, I just- I want get this over with, now." Gail says, sniffling, trying to recompose herself. Trying so hard to not look weak, "um, after he did that, he turned around and says some stuff, that's when he took off all my clothes…" She looks up at Andy, as if asking for help.
"It's okay, Gail. What happened after that?"
Gail knew what she meant, Andy knew what happened. "After he.. finished up with me, he just got up and left. I just layed there and I must have fallen asleep, because next thing I know, you're walking down the steps." Gail laughs to herself a bit, as if this is all ridiculous, how is she one day a regular working cop and the next the victim of abduction, torture, rape, and so on. It's all just not clicking in with her at all, it's all so unreal.
"Okay." Andy says, closing her notepad, putting it back in her jacket. She reaches out to hold Gail's hand. Gail closes her eyes. It can't be long before they get to the hospital now.
They feel the turn and they know they're at the hospital now, Gail sits up on the stretcher when the EMT opens the doors, she tells Gail to lie back down and wheels the stretcher out, Andy following by Gail's side as she's pushed into the ER. They quickly bring her into a trauma room so she's not in the open.
