AN: I'm not sure what to say to this. I was bored and wanted to write this. Mostly because I've been reading fanfics about how Private is can't find his role in the group. Even Wikipedia says that! I don't think that's true though. His role in the group, in my opinion, is to be the Moral Compass. It helps a lot too because of how ruthless the others are. Anyone else agree? This is gonna be in two parts. You kinda have to read it all to understand what's going on.


Skipper's POV:

"You can't win Hans! We will-"

The words were thrown back in my beak by a sharp stinging somewhere in my back. It felt hard and ragged in my flesh. I could feel it twisting in my blood stream, tearing up my nerves. Little sharp spikes poked holes in my feathers. Of course. It was a claw.

And it was killing me.

A sound got caught in my throat. It wasn't quite a sob, or a scream. Was more like a gasp really. I couldn't feel anything in my lower half anymore. I was numb on that half of me. The lobster was still there. Still slaughtering me. I tried to turn, to punch him away, but my lower self didn't agree with me. I flailed my flippers desperately to escape. I was helpless.

"What was that you were saying Skipper?" Hans taunted. I couldn't see him anymore. He must have been too far away.

I could see my team though. Rico was thrashing anything he could barf up at the lobsters. You could tell it was a last resort though. Blood had covered his eyes so he couldn't see. I wasn't sure if he even had eyes still in his sockets. Private was up against the wall, trapped while maybe six lobsters held him there and was gutting him. The hadn't gotten past the ender flesh, but it was so close. Kowalski was closest to me. He just stood there, taking hit after hit. I felt an urge to yell and scream at him to fight.

We couldn't possibly win. We were dying. A few more minutes and we'd be within the dead.

"Retreat!" I cried out. I could hear the desperation in my voice. "We need to get out of here!" Another numbing feeling shot through me. Was the lobster still clawing at my back? Still tearing at my precious blood that should've been covered by tissue and muscle and flesh and-

"How Skipper? I can hardly move!" The cracks in Kowalski's voice told me that he was at the end of his stregnth.

My mouth was filling up with blood. And I could taste it. A dry and salty liquid. I had a sudden imagine of Manfredi and Johson flash in my head. Strange...

"Manouver eighteen R! Eighten R!" I screamed as hard as I could, but I could how quiet my voice was getting.

My stregnth was gone. It had vanished. I had never felt more helpless in my life. Never so desperate to hold on to the thin string of life. My eyes closed tightly. Just make it end. My body was numb, so cold that it felt like I was burning. If that was possible. My mind was swimming like I was dizzy, except I wasn't. The world around me was cold and hot and wet and dry all at the same time. I could feel them, but couldn't at the same time.

Was this...

"Skipper? Hello. Wake up Skipper."

The voice was said in slow motion, drawing out the words. I forced my eyes to open slowly. Black and white creatures met my awakening eyes.

Oh right. My team. I was conscious enough now. I shook my head vaguly to get rid of the dizziness. I could still taste blood in my mouth. My blood. I was scared of that, but I didn't let my team see it. Instead I bravely spit the red gunk in a corner of wherever we are.

"Uh..." I held my head in one flipper as if it would stop the world from swaying.

"Take a breather Skipper. You almost died. But we need to hurry. We're not out yet." Kowalski said, putting his flipper around my shoulders to help me up.

My feet staggered, but I kept myself up. "Where are we?" I noticed Rico and Private sitting away from us. Tears were running down Private's cheeks, bandages covered his body, mostly his stomach. Rico had a bandage ontop of his left eye, and several other deep gases and bruises. "Is everyone okay? What happened?"

"In an alleyway three blocks away from the weapons warehouse that Hans and Blowhole's lobsters, which are apparently following Hans rule now, were raiding. Everyone is okay, or at least will live. We managed get out of there when you were unconscious from an old disposal shaft. Ad when we got here I bandaged... most of our wounds. I-I'm sorry Skipper. I didn't think that-"

"It's okay Kowalski." I replied. "Okay Men!" Private and Rico looked up, surprised. I was surprised too. I didn't think my voice could be that loud, considering what just happened maybe an hour before. "The zoo opens in a few more hours, and for all we know Hans is still after us. Lets move."

I jumped up a small bit, my dizziness made it look like to me as if I was falling down a cliff. A cliff with gagged spiked rocks at the bottom, and I was jumping down towards it. The whole time I was falling down, the world was spining and turning around my body.

I hit the ground on my stomach and a mix of pain and wooziness struck me. By instinct, I bounced back. My head was ringing badly. I wondered if I had some head truama from the fight.

I chuckled nervously. "Um... on second thought, let's walk. We have enough time."

The team didn't question it, so we started walking. We were close to a street we had to cross, but I had enough time to think.

I had almost gotten all of us killed. That sentence kept appearing in my mind. In big black flashing letters it was coming at me. Kicking and screaming like a small child. Or a lemur. That could've been our last mission. Our last breath. My last breath. I know I'm always supposed to be thinking of the safety of my team, but I was so scared because my life had been so close from leaving the world. And really, I cared about my life too.

I was so close from losing it. I was shaking now from the fear of that. What about my team? They could've lost their lives too. I couldn't stres how lucky we were that none of us were lying dead and bloody in a weapon warehouse right now. And it would've been my fault. All my fault.

"Oh my God! Did I hit it!"

"What is it?"

"Get it outta there!"

The sounds of angry roars knocked me out of my thoughts. I spun around to see Private, in the middle of the street we had crossed.

"Private!" I cried, running at him. He looked dazed. His eyes were glazed with fear and guilt and he wasn't moving. His flippers were huggig his chest. I wasn't sure if it was from the pain of his stomach wounds, or something. When I was next to him, I shook him a little before shooing him quickly from the road.

"Six of them." He said when we were in another alleyway. His voice sounded far away, like he wasn't even conscious. "I killed six of them in there. Maybe seven." He grabbed my flipper tightly. "Skipper! How do I deal with this?"

Now? Why now. We had just had the worst mission I can remember. I didn't want to deal with right now. I was too busy thinking on how I had almost lost me and my teams lives. How could I even start thinking of the lobsters I might've killed in there?

I didn't answer him. Just walked away ruther down the alley.

He followed me. "We get more and more like them. Don't we?" He paused for an answer. I couldn't answer. Couldn't even think of what to say. "Skippah!"

"No." I answered simply. The worst answer to give Private. His tears doubled and he was crying noiselessly now.

He turned around. "I'll walk the rest of the way." He announced.

I had an urge to run to him. To hug him and tell everything was okay. I wanted to answer the questions he was desperate for someone to answer. To give him the conversation he needed. To tell him something.

But I didn't.

Kowalski coughed uncomfortably. "Orders Skipper?"

I was still watching Private walk away. Sighing, I replied, "I don't know Kowalski. Do me a favor though? Make sure he gets home okay?"

He went racing after the youngest member before the words were out of my mouth.


Private's POV:

"Are you okay Private?"

"No." I said, more harshly then intended.

Oh Oh Oh
Oh Oh Oh
You see my anxious heart
You see what I am feeling

Kowalski creased his eyebrows. "Well what's wrong? It is always very obvious when you're upset."

"How can you even ask? I killed back there Kowalski! I might've been killed back there!" I fumed. Was he not feeling anything about what just happerned? He was there too. He almost died too. He most likely killed too. Was he not caring at all that he took someone's life?

And when I fall apart
You are there to hold me
How great your love for me
Now I see what you're thinking
Your voice is my healing
Without you I just can't get by

"Animals kill." He shrugged. "That's the way they are. Survival of the fittest. The food chain. The food pyramid. We eat fish. Dead or alive. What's the difference?"

"That's different. It's to survive. I had choice. I did it because I could. We could've gotten out perfectly fine. Without blood on our hands. But we didn't. We stayed because we could. We killed because we could."

He didn't say anything.

"Do you not get that?"

So I'm hanging on to every word you speak
'Cause it's all I need
Hanging on to every word you say
To light up my way
Even every little whisper
I'm hanging on as if it were my life
I'm hanging on
Oh Oh Oh
Oh Oh Oh

He nodded. "I get where you're coming from Private. But you didn't really have a choice. You were fighting- killing- to survive. To get out of there alive. It's still the same as survival of the fittest."

I shook my head in frusteration. No. He didn't get it.

I wished Skipper was here instead. He would know just what to sy. He wouldn't be spitting facts in my face. Telling me it was okay to kill. Kowalski was just but saying the words 'you should've killed more.'

It was disgusting and horrible to think of.

And when the darkness falls
I can't see what's before me
Your voice is like the dawn
Always there to guide me
Without you I just can't get by

"Okay Kowalski. That may be tue for some animals. Who have to kill. Who have to survive like that. But not with me. I'm my own person. I can think and feel and love. And I know when something isn't right. Like killing. That was somebody's life Kowalski. And it's gone. Because of me."

"Well-"

"That lobster had a life. Friends and family. Thoughts and personality and a whole life story. Now it's gone. Because of me. It's all my fault. Six of them. Maybe seven That's the worst part. Wondering if the seventh was dead or not."

He sighed. "Private. I don't know what to say to you. Death is a part of life. Killing is part of the animal life. We all know that you're the one most intertwined in morals and ethis but..."

"But what?"

His cheekbones shifted like they usually did when he wa thinking hard on something. "But it was someone you didn't even know. Someone who was trying to kill you. How can you feel bad about that?"

So I'm hanging on to very word you speak
'Cause it's all I need
Hanging on to every word you say
To light up my way
Even every little whisper
I'm hanging on as if it were my life
I'm hanging on

I was stunned. He didn't get it. He didn't understand. It was a life. A living, breathing, thinking, life. A life with well, a life. How could he not see how precious that was? How hard it was to know that that was on your chest?

"You don't get it..." I whispered.

"I think I understand it better than you do right now Private."

You know me better than I know myself
Better than anybody else
Your love is sounding like a ringing bell
Oh, Oh, I won't let go
Oh Oh Oh
Oh Oh Oh
La La La La La La La La

That hurt. That really hurt. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. The bottom of my beak was quivering in what was either anger or sadness. I sped up. I didn't want to talk to him anymore. How could he not see what was wrong about killing? It's the worst thing you could ever do... more or less.

"Private!"

The tears fell to the ground. It was making a trail of tears. Murderer. That's what I was. Oh God. How could that be my label? The cute, young penguin who loved unicorns and bunnies and ducklings- was a killer. That little penguin had had a life in his hands, and went in for the kill.

Was there a lunacorn out there that had this problem? No. Probably not. Because people aren't supposed to kill.

Hanging on to every word you speak
'Cause it's all I need
Hanging on to every word you say
To light up my way
Even every little whisper
I'm hanging as if it were my life
I'm hanging on

Murder. I had murdered today.

Skipper. I had to talk to Skipper.

AN: Good? Did you have any favorite sentences? Sorry if there are a lot of mistakes, half way through my keyboard and fanfiction was getting messed up so I had to retype many sentences and paragraphs. Oh and if it wasn't clear, Hans had lobsters because he took over Blowhole's lobster army after Blowhole lost his memory and now thinks he's Flippy. Sorry, that part of the special bugged me. He had a whole lair filled with lobsters- so where did they go after blowhole lost his memory? Hans was in Blowhole's lair at the time so it does make sense that he would takeover. Thoughts on that?