Dear kitty,

I woke up in the middle of the night last night to the sound of laughter. Laughter! I looked out of my window and saw people walking down the street laughing and drinking. They were dancing together and having fun. For a moment I almost joined them thinking the plague was over. But i could smell the tinge of death in the air. I sat there watching them walk down the street just for a while pretending everything was how it used to be. I would complain about all the work to be done and Jake would help me. But my treacherous brain wouldn't let me forget, not even for this moment about the horrors going on. They laughter and singing were beginning to fade away into the thick air and let in the wails from the present. I felt like my ears were plugged with cotton after the loud joy of the parade. But now I was left in the quiet despair that seemed to never end. I haven't thought about Jake for five whole days, I guess I didn't want to worry about something I can't do anything about. My last entry was four days ago and much has changed. Every few days a man walks around the streets with a cart calling,"Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead!" I try not to look at the people piled one on top of the other inside of it. In case I see a familiar face, which I know is very likely. Some of my food is already going bad but I'm so terrified of leaving the room that i can't go down to the cellars to get more, It's probably going bad down there too. We're cut off, from the world i mean. We aren't getting the goods we used to get and so we're running out of food. I almost worked up the courage to go out the door or at least open it, but I could only stand there remembering the time I had opened it to see Jake. It seemed like years ago now but it had only been about two weeks. I think I will sleep now, I've been doing a lot of that lately just sleeping.


Dear kitty,

I wrote in here just yesterday but this is important. The house next to me was on fire! I could hear people screaming from within but the people outside were just standing there smiling like they thought they had done well. Some were praying while holding lit torches to parts that were not yet burning. I screamed at them,"What are you doing, there are people inside!" through my window now agape.

Some looked up at me with insanely happy smiles on their red faces,"The people inside have the disease miss. We are only thinking of our families." One said in a perfectly sane voice, but these people were not sane. Sane people don't burn down houses. Some children were playing near the burning building. "ring around the rosie, Pocket full of posie, Ashes, Ashes, we all fall down." they were giggling and dancing around while singing the chant. It disgusted me. Now where there used to be a building there is only ashes and the echos of screams. That horrible little chant keeps on playing itself through my head. I find myself singing it aloud,"Ring around the rosie, Pocket full of Posie, Ashes, Ashes......"


Dear kitty,

I only wrote in here two days ago but this story should be told. I woke up this morning to bangs from downstairs. I live above the tavern, but then I remembered the epidemic. No one should be here but me. I wanted to wait until they left but I knew they would take my food then leave. So I went to my door. I stared at the wood panels that made up the door. I had to open it, but I couldn't. I reached out my hand and grabbed the bolt that kept me inside. That was a nice way to think of it kept me in, not kept everything else out. My stomach growled with hunger. I had run out of food yesterday so another reason to open the door. But while I was up here reasoning with myself that person was stealing my only key to survival. I grasped the bolt and flung the door open so fast it took a second for my brain to catch up. I was exposed, I was dead. But if I stayed up here I would starve, I was dead. So it was either try and maybe die, or not try and definitely die. I moved towards the stairs slowly listening to the intruder. They weren't bothering to be quiet, they probably thought anyone here was either dead or dying of the disease, I should have thought more of that. I crept slowly down the stairs fearing they might hear me, it sounded like more than one person. Maybe two or three. I sneaked a look into the kitchen and saw three people two women and a man digging through the food still in the cupboards. I saw one of their hands, it had the pustules of the disease! how had they gotten in? I still don't know. But I ran to the door and tried to open it. But it was boarded up from the outside. Through the planks of wood I saw red paint soaking through in the shape of a cross. "no,no.." I pushed all my weight against it but the door didn't budge. I ran up the stairs to my room, and smelled something. I smelled burning wood and heard a lot of people coming towards the tavern. I knew they wouldn't help me. So I walked slowly up to my room and sat on my bed. Some would have screamed for help but that wouldn't help this had become a sick house right under my nose. Outside I could hear the children begin to play and sing,"Ring around the rosie, Pocket full of posie.."

"Ashes, Ashes, We all fall down.." I sang under my breath. So here I sit singing children's songs and waiting for the fire to burn away my pain.