Shiro slowly broke a long kiss and rolled off of Keith when they were done. He smiled, running through it all in his head. Meanwhile, Keith stared at the roof of the tent for a really long time, just sort of trying to process everything. He'd... never done that before...
Shiro turned and looked at him when he didn't react to being done. "You...ok?"
Keith nodded, still staring at the ceiling. He was shocked, there was no hiding it. Shocked at how good it felt, shocked at how hot Shiro was and shocked that he did it with him of all people.
Shiro nodded. He was kind of in shock, too. Mostly because he never imagined the scenario where Keith went this far with him. Let alone kissed him back. He pulled Keith onto his chest, realizing exactly how fast he'd moved this. "Sorry..."
"Don't... don't apologize, Shiro," Keith said, finally tearing his gaze away from the ceiling and looked over at him. "I just... wow... you know?"
"I know." He held him. "Just making sure you weren't having an aneurysm." He smiled.
Keith chuckled a little. "No, I'm fine. I just never really thought..." he shook his head. "It's a surprise is all."
"Right. Same for me. Apparently I move really, really fast." He grinned, kissing the top of Keith's head.
"Despite the fact that your lion flies like a slug?" Keith taunted, rolling over until he was on top of Shiro. He snuggled up against him, laying on his chest.
Shiro laughed. "Just because Red flies like he has no brakes… that doesn't make my lion slow."
"Your lion is slow, Shiro. Slower than Yellow, heck it's slower than Lance."
Shiro chuckled. "Lance is pretty quick when he needs to be, just like Black is." He traced lines on Keith's back. "We should get some rest." It'd been a long day, even without getting together.
Keith nodded and rolled back over onto the mat. He laid on his side and looked at Shiro, then reached out and traced the scar on his nose. Shiro stared at him. "Of all the scars you just saw, that's the one you chose?" He grinned, moving over to rest his forehead against Keith's.
"I've always been kind of intrigued by it," Keith confessed. "It makes you look mysterious…"
"You've got a thing for mystery, don't you?"
Keith felt his cheeks growing warm. "Maybe a little. I mean… I did find the blue lion."
Shiro smiled, leaning over to kiss him. "Get some sleep."
Keith nodded and rolled over, closing his eyes. Shiro put his arms around him and buried his face in Keith's back for a moment, then rested his chin over Keith's shoulder. "Thank you, Keith. For everything."
Keith leaned into his touch, relaxing. He eventually fell asleep happy to be in Shiro's arms.
Shiro held him, eventually relaxing and falling asleep as well. Though a few hours later he flinched. He let go and turned over, curling up into a ball. "No…" he mumbled. He could usually control the trauma he'd been through when he was awake, but he'd fully relaxed this time around and when that happened, his dreams centered around Haggar.
Keith jerked away when Shiro flinched and heard him mutter. He rolled over, pushing himself up on his arms. "Shiro," he said. "Shiro, what's wrong? What happened?"
Shiro didn't immediately wake up, still fighting in his head. "Stop. Haggar...stop please." His eyes opened just before he woke up. He sat up and grabbed his head then looked around to figure out where he was. He calmed down when he saw Keith.
"Hey." He took a few slow breaths to try and calm down. "Sorry about that. I'm good."
Keith stared at him. "Are you sure you're okay?" he asked finally. Shiro nodded. "Yeah," he said, his voice tired. "I'm... fine... Don't worry about me, Keith."
Keith wasn't sure what to think about that, but he moved over and hugged him. Shiro hugged him back, holding on to him. He wished those dreams would stop but at least this time he had someone to hold after.
Keith heard Shiro's breathing slow down and soon he was asleep in his arms. He wasn't complaining. He held Shiro close, pulling his arms tight around his body. He'd keep Shiro safe. No matter what.
Shiro slept soundly the rest of the night. He even managed to sleep in, just a little. But his nightmares were part of the reason he was up so early every day. The other reason being he was used to it and trained not to waste time sleeping.
When the morning came and Shiro did wake up, he snuggled close to Keith, kissing his cheek. "So, what kind of training should we do today? Flying, trust exercises? We should still bond with our lions."
Keith gave Shiro a smug look. "You mean... what we did last night wasn't bonding with our lions?" he said, his tone false and innocent. He cocked an eyebrow.
"Ha. No. I'd say that wasn't bonding with our lions." He smiled, shoving him. "Not that we can't bond with just each other again."
Keith chuckled. "Imagine what everyone would say if they found out this whole thing was just a plot to fu-"
Shiro cut him off. "You wouldn't tell them, would you?"
Keith smiled kindly and caressed his face. "Of course not. It's our secret."
Shiro relaxed a little. "I know we shouldn't hide things from the team but...I'm not sure how they'll respond to it." He leaned over and kissed him. "And it wasn't just a big plan to fuck you."
"I know that. And jeez, Shiro, language."
Shiro fixed him with a stern look. "Oh yeah? Was that not what you were going to say just now?"
Keith turned red. "Well, no, but... you know what, forget about it. Watch your mouth, dirty bastard."
Shiro laughed. "I just got told to watch my language by Keith Kogane of all people!"
Keith flushed, glared, and shoved him in quick succession. "Shut up."
Shiro laughed. "Alright. Let's just get breakfast and train with our lions.
So they ate breakfast and then Keith headed over to Red. "Keith!" Shiro called. "I want you to try my lion again today!" Keith shook his head. "Your lion spit me out last time, remember?"
"He spit me out too. Doesn't mean we can't both fly him. I'll even try Red again."
"She probably spit you out because you keep referring to her as a he," Keith said.
Shiro shook his head. "He's a boy, I asked."
Keith choked a little. "You asked? You just like... sat down and were like 'hey black, are you a dude?'?"
Shiro nodded. "Pretty much." He sighed. "Maybe you should take time with Red." Keith nodded and kissed his cheek, then Shiro headed toward the Black lion. "See you at dinner?"
Keith nodded. "See you at dinner," he replied. He turned to red. "Guess it's just you and me," he said. "Let's do this."
Shiro did his best to train, though he kept thinking about Keith. Not that this was new but it was different. They'd need to work out how to make this work with the rest of the team. Especially since he didn't really want the others to know. So he flew around, feeling his lion. Trying to connect. As well as thanking him for letting Keith be his pilot as well. That done, he flew back to camp, starting to get dinner ready before it got dark.
Keith on the other hand was having trouble with his lion. He felt as though it was stubbornly refusing to bond with him. He flew back and forth for a few hours before finally landing a ways away from camp and jumping out. "What is wrong with you?" He snapped.
Red didn't respond, and just stayed still. Though it didn't seem impressed that he was yelling. Keith kicked the dust in front of him. "So you're just gonna sit there?" He snarled. "What am I supposed to do? Walk back?"
If Red could shrug he did.
Keith groaned. "You are such a pain!" He snapped. Red roared, then opened his mouth and grabbed him, flying off with him inside.
He tried to take control of his lion but Red was doing his own thing. He flew in the opposite direction from camp.
Keith kicked the floor and hit the chair. "What do you want from me?!" He yelled in frustration. He wondered if Red was mad art him for trying to fly Shiro's lion.
Meanwhile, Shiro watched as Red took off away from camp, disappearing into the distance quickly. "Keith?" He asked, turning on the comms on his helmet. He was met with static.
Red flew towards a volcano, landing inside the top. It wasn't active. At the moment. Steam still settled around it. "What are you doing?" Keith asked the lion. He got no response. He sat back in his chair, groaning, then he kicked the console in frustration.
Red roared, then showed him a vision. This had been the lion captured by the Galra after all. Red showed him the frustration of Zarkon's betrayal of Voltron, and Zarkon taking the lion away from the team in an attempt to steal Voltron over ten thousand years ago.
Meanwhile, Shiro was getting worried. Keith had flown off over an hour ago… there had been no sign of him since and he couldn't reach him on comms.
Keith blinked. "Oh. So...I guess. Yeah that'd be frustrating." He frowned. "I never thought about that. But I won't betray Voltron. Not like Zarkon did. And I won't force you to like me but I'd like to keep flying you. If you'll listen to me." Red shut down the vision and powered back up, letting Keith fly him back to camp.
Shiro was really starting to worry once the sun started to dip below the horizon. Just before it disappeared, the red lion appeared in the distance.
Keith flew back, landing next to the black lion and jumping down. Shiro smiled as he returned. "Have fun?"
Keith glared at Red for a moment, then his glare softened. "Not really. But I do think I understand Red a bit better now."
Shiro smiled. "Then...productive." He held up a plate of dinner. "Want to do anything tonight? Go for a walk?"
Keith was torn. Part of him really wanted to do things with Shiro, but another part of him was frustrated and confused. Apparently Shiro saw it in his face.
Shiro went over and put an arm on his shoulder, then leaned in and kissed his cheek. "Eat up."
"Yeah, okay," Keith said. He ate slowly, more picking at his meal than actually eating it. Shiro noticed.
"Keith?" He move to sit next to him. "What's wrong?" He was worried, seeing Keith shut down like this couldn't be good.
Keith looked away. "Nothing," he muttered. He kept picking at his food, refusing to look Shiro in the eyes.
Shiro put hid arm around him. "Can we please talk?"
"We are talking," Keith said, his voice a little angrier than he'd meant it.
Shiro moved his hand. "Was it something I did?"
Keith brushed him off. "It's nothing, Shiro. Just leave me alone about it, would you?!"
Shiro frowned. "Keith, I'll leave you alone for a while but I can't just let you be upset without helping." He moved away from him and started cleaning up the fire. He pulled his vest and shirt off. It was hot.
"I don't need your help, Shiro," Keith all but snarled. He tossed his food to the ground and stood. "I'm going to bed."
"Goodnight, Keith." Shiro spoke softly. They could talk on the morning.
However, upon waking up the next morning, after a fitful sleep, he found that Keith had vanished. The red lion was sitting where he'd left it the night before, but there was no sign of Keith anywhere.
Shiro bit his lip. Sure, he could track Keith, but if he wanted to be alone so badly that he walked off then Shiro should probably let him. He sighed, getting up and starting to break down camp. He'd wanted to spend the day with him doing ...well doing him. Still, as the sun once again dipped below the horizon, there was no sign of Keith. He was starting to worry…
Shiro had packed everything but the tent. Allura was going to be picking them up in the morning. He jumped into his lion and flew into the sky, running scans to see if he could find Keith. He also jumped on comms. "Keith? Please talk to me...where are you?"
Keith did not answer. Shiro flew around for roughly two hours before finally returning to camp, which was still devoid of any sign of him. "Keith... come on..."
Shiro closed his eyes. How was he supposed to face the rest of the team if he lost a fifth of Voltron's paladins?
Shiro leaned his head back and stared at the sky for a long time, then slowly looked at Red. "Can you find him?" He asked. Red didn't respond for a long moment. Then his eyes lit up. Shiro knew better than to fly him so he stayed in the black lion and followed.
They flew for hours. Shiro was starting to feel like Red didn't know where he was going. But then the lion suddenly nosedived toward the ground. Shiro followed. Upon landing, he could see a form sprawled out in the dust.
Shiro landed next to Red, he grabbed a med kit and jumped out of his lion, running over. "Keith!"
Keith didn't respond. Shiro reached his side. He was unconscious. He didn't seem hurt at all, but he looked really pale. He didn't respond when Shiro shook his shoulder. "Keith!"
Shiro pulled out a cold compress and put it on Keith's back, then ran back and got some water. He pulled off his shirt and dumped part of the water onto it, wrapping the wet shirt loosely around Keith's head. "Come on Keith. Wake up."
Still Keith did not stir. Shiro triple checked to make sure he was breathing. He looked helplessly toward the lions. "Keith. Come on!" Red roared, as did the black lion. Shiro shook Keith a little. "Wake up..."
Shiro was losing hope. He shook Keith as hard as he could. "Come on! Keith! I can't lose you!"
Keith moaned a little, his eyes flickering for a second. Shiro let out a sigh of relief and leaned down, gently kissing him. "That's a start..."
Keith shuddered and coughed, then rolled over and heaved into the sand. He braced himself on shaky arms before collapsing into the sand once again.
Shiro helped him sit up. "Careful. Drink some water. Nice and easy."
Keith could hardly sit up on his own. He shook his head. He didn't want water. His hair was covered in sand, as was his back. His face was still white as a ghost.
"Drink." Shiro ordered him.
Keith shook his head, wincing as the movement caused sharp pain in his neck, and pushed the water away. He didn't want any. He groaned. "What happened?" Shiro asked. "How the hell did you end up all the way out here?"
Keith shook his head. Shiro frowned and picked him up. "Come on, let's get you somewhere cooler." He took him into the black lion and turned up the cooling system. He laid Keith on the floor and knelt beside him, once again pouring water onto his shirt and pressing it against Keith's forehead. His skin was hot, but still pale. He opened his eyes and watched Shiro. He was still unwilling to talk, though.
"C'mon, Keith," Shiro said. "Talk to me. What happened to you?" But still Keith remained silent. Shiro glared at him. "You had me worried sick!" He grabbed some more water and splashed it in Keith's face. "You walk off without water or food or anything and manage to get hours from here. What is with you Keith? What's wrong?"
Keith spluttered, the sudden splash of water on his face unexpected. It made him angry. He snatched the water bottle from Shiro and threw it at him, water splashing everywhere. Then he shook his wet hair out of his face.
Shiro made sure Keith wouldn't hurt himself moving so fast, then sat back. "Look, fine, be mad at me. But can I at least know why?"
"You didn't need to throw the water in my face," Keith said, his voice quiet and rough.
"Well you're frustrating sometimes." Shiro watched him, still worried.
"Yeah?" Keith asked. "So are you." He refused to meet Shiro's gaze and instead glared at his shoes.
"I won't argue, but which part of me being frustrating warranted nearly killing yourself?"
Keith glared at him. "I didn't mean to, okay?" he snarled. "It's not like I planned to pass out in the middle of nowhere, Shiro!"
"Dehydration can do that, but why'd you leave?" Keith didn't look up from his shoes but Shiro saw him grit his teeth. "Come on, Keith. Why did you leave?"
Keith shook his head. "I don't know, okay? I don't remember leaving."
"You...don't..." Shiro thought tour a moment. Keith was a better liar than that. And he had no reason to lie. Still, it was hard to believe. "I...Okay. Let's just make sure you get better." He carefully reached for his hand. "I missed you today."
Keith pulled his hand away just before Shiro took it, moving to push his wet hair out of his face, trying to act nonchalant about the action. It didn't fool Shiro.
"Keith? I...we should talk about us. How we're going to handle...us...back with everyone."
Keith shook his head. "Is there an us?" He asked. "We slept together once, Shiro."
"Yeah? And I'd prefer if there was more than once." His chest felt heavy at the idea of it just being a one time thing. "I...you really just wanted it once?"
Keith shook his head. "I don't know, Shiro. This is new for me... I'm not really sure how I feel about it."
"Oh." Shiro closed his eyes, letting himself think. "I guess...okay. Yeah. Can't really force anything different."
Keith felt guilty. He wanted to be with him but… he just wasn't sure how it would work. "It's not that I don't want to, Shiro. I just…"
"You just?" He looked at him. "What we do… what we are is very personal and private to me. I really, really care about you. If you're not sure, I… what aren't you sure about? Can I help?"
"I don't know, Shiro. It's not really something I can explain."
Shiro nodded, looking at the floor. "Okay. I… yeah. I just. Since I want this private can I ask one thing?"
Keith nodded. "Of course," he said. He felt bad. He knew that he wanted to be with Shiro, that wasn't the problem.
"If… you ever want to say how you feel… that… that you care about me. Tell me I'm like a brother to you? I'll do the same." Shiro really wanted to keep this private.
Keith just nodded, trying not to show how upset he really was. He wanted to disappear again. He wished he was still out there in the wilderness. He wished he was back on Earth by himself, where he belonged.
Shiro couldn't look at him. He had no real idea if Keith wanted to be together or not. And as much as Shiro might want him physically, he'd much rather have him somewhat happy.
"I'm going for a walk," Keith said, suddenly, standing.
"Keith, you need to rest." Shiro mumbled. "Maybe… take Red."
"I'm going for a walk," Keith said again, more forcefully.
"Keith!" Shiro got up and grabbed his arm. "You need to rest! Stop trying to kill yourself!"
Keith turned and looked at him, awestruck. He didn't raise his voice at him often. And he'd grabbed him with an almost painful grip.
Shiro let go of him. "Take your lion, but stop walking at random and stop getting yourself hurt." Shiro took a deep breath. "I'm sorry… if I'm not good enough to talk to that's fine, but I won't let you do something stupid so soon after doing something stupid. Especially when you say you don't know how or why you did it in the first place."
"I'm walking," Keith said stubbornly. Then he stood and walked away. He stopped just outside and looked at his lion for a moment, then passed it with a watched him go. He felt like throwing up with how Keith was acting. This had been a mistake. That was for sure.
