MLP Fiat Lux Part 1
Written by Lampicus
September 10th, 2012
Lamp looked at his ticket to Canterlot. The estimated time until arrival was 5 days and 5 hours, so he needed to find a way to entertain himself. Lamp began to walk to his cabin and while he had a lot of things to think about, he just wanted to sit down.
Lamp opened the door to his cabin and immediately was displeased. There he gazed upon a grey unicorn with a brown mane, whom took up the entire coach. This pony had unpacked a T.V. on the other side of the cabin, with his immense amount of food items and dark armor seating the rest. He looked like a hobo with money.
"Excuse me sir, how are 4 people supposed to fit in here? Your stuff is everywhere!" Lamp said quite annoyed.
"Oh boy, the maid is here! Got waffles?!" The pony asked with great expectation.
"No, I'm not the maid. And even if I was, how am I supposed to fit anything else in this room, let alone myself?"
"Oh, let me get that for you!" The grey pony responded shoving a bag of chips to the ground and eating the remains off the seat. "There ya go! Easy as pie! Speaking of which would you like some?"
"No, I don't want pie. I want you to clear this place so we can fit the two other passengers in here." Lamp demanded.
"What other passengers? I bought a first class ticket and I expect some privacy, they said I was stuck with another pony and that annoyed me enough. You're riding first class with me now…how about that pie?"
Lamp did not realize the ticket was for first class. He didn't expect much of a good way of travel, but this completely changed his thoughts. Now he had a 5 day train ride in, somewhat of comfort… even though his side of the room had a suit of armor taking up his space. Lamp sat down on his bed.
"The name's Lamp, what's your business heading to Canterlot?"
"One second." said the unicorn stuffing his face with what looked like the sofa padding. "My stomach is telling me you aren't a local from Canterlot." the pony responded. He had a defining quality about him, something honorable; a trait I wasn't expecting from somepony like him.
"No, I'm from a watermelon farm. Grew up there, but now I'm just travelling" Lamp answered.
"A farm boy, in Canterlot… Hahaha what a loser!" the grey unicorn responded as he piled chips in his mouth.
"…I'm sorry; do you have business in Canterlot?"
"Why of course! I am returning to my duties in the Lunar Guard!"
"Oh that's the royal gua…"
"No! I am Graphite, of the powerful guards of Luna! We are not to be mistaken for those pitiful fools and excuses of warriors. Do not degrade the name of Graphite, or the mighty Lunar Guard! I was sent northward to do battle with the mighty armies of the… the north of course! A worthy foe… but no match for the unstoppable force of the night, of Graphite, of the Lunar Guard!" Graphite shouted with the proud voice of an idiot. "If I did not attend in full, you could bet your little town goodbye. If not for me, you would be toast!"
Lamp instantly froze up, paralyzed. Now all he could think about were the ponies that had been at his farm the ones that were set on- *WHAM*
"Wake up, your freaking me out." Said Graphite after smacking Lamp with his helmet.
"Owww! Who smacks someone with a helmet!?" Lamp shouted "Who does that!?"
"You started staring at me and not responding, I thought a good ol' helmet slap was in order." The grey unicorn chuckled.
"Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't the guards of Canterlot, supposed to stay in Canterlot?" Lamp questioned, "So what are you doing all the way up north?"
"Well..." Graphite started, "I actually work for a special division of the Lunar Guard, the Lunar Rangers."
"And even though your Guard isn't even publicly known, you need a secret group name for the secret group within your secret Guard?" Lamp questioned him skeptically.
The grey unicorn shot a quick glare at the pegasus and Lamp mirrored the look back.
"Okay, fine. I went north to retrieve a bracelet that Princess Luna had lost." Graphite finally admitted. "It was my honour and duty on the line as well as my soldiers."
"Shouldn't an army of many soldiers have been heard of by now?" Lamp asked him curiously.
"Well yes, but there are...uhh... four of us." Graphite responded in a quieter voice than usual. "Actually, I'm hoping the senior of our group Captain 'Mcdoucher' retires soon so that I could possibly take charge."
Lamp realized this was a royal guard created by a flunk. This guy had potential, but he didn't have an army or royal training for that to go anywhere. After Lamp thanked the unicorn for the "Lovely conversation," he went to the pull out bed, took off his boots and hat, and went to sleep wearing the coat his father had given him.
Lamp woke up to the sounds of loud explosions thundering throughout the room. He rolled over out of his bed and jumped up ready to run; until he saw the grey pony, sitting there on the couch watching T.V.
"What are you doing?!" Lamp screamed.
"Watching Guards."
"When has Guards ever had explosions?"
"This is Canterlot edition."
"And!?"
"Obviously you have never been to Canterlot." Graphite stated with a wise guy look on his face. "Like, every month there is at least 2 explosions because of dragons, or some queen bitch wanting revenge. But ya... the fire department gets paid more bits than I want to even try counting."
"Okay, well I'm getting breakfast. I'll be back in a while to call you an idiot." Lamp said to Graphite before leaving.
Lamp put on his boots and hat and walked out into the hall. He proceeded down the hall finding a couple arguing about shoes and a stallion whom seemed to be reasonable enough to talk to.
"Excuse me sir, but do you know where I can get some breakfast?" Lamp asked politely.
"Oh I thought you have been told that all you do is order from your room?" The pony responded.
"Oh why...um… thank you!" Lamp said while turning around sprinting back to the room.
Opening the door to the room, the orange pegasus was about to sit down and order his breakfast when Graphite extended his leg, and punched Lamp straight in the face.
"Ahhh! My face!? What is your problem?!" Lamp screamed in pain.
"Oh hey there Lightbulb!" Graphite said cheerilee (:P) "How's it going buddy?"
"I can taste my nose!" Lamp shouted.
The orange pegasus turned and noticed his bed covered by a platter stocked with fruits he had never seen.
"I got breakfast! And look..." Graphite said overjoyed "They didn't have waffles so I got these chocolate covered bread rings!"
"Those are donuts Graphite."
After Graphite stuffed his face with donuts he began speaking of his service in the Lunar Guard. It had been slowly dying ever since princess Luna was banished from Equestria, and Graphite had been enlisted by family into a flawed system. Graphite had asked Lamp, many times, about joining the guard with him, but Lamp had other plans that didn't include that... in any way... ever.
For the entire day, Graphite had talked about his experiences in the Lunar Guard. Once he got around the completely made up stories, he actually seemed like somewhat of a guard. And even after his stories, Lamp was still bored.
"So what kind of magic can you do?" Lamp asked curiously.
"Well, there is this" Graphite responded as he propelled a half eaten pie right into Lamp's face.
"... That's it, I'm going for a walk." Lamp finally told himself as he got up and left.
He made his way to the back of the train walking through the different coaches. He saw the old stallion whom he had asked earlier. Some foals had a coach to themselves and played with their parents and friends. Lamp had a good walk and finally reached the back of the train. He stepped outside and gazed upon a sunset he had not witnessed since the days of his past, where the watermelon fields were harvested and everyone relaxed around the lake. It had been something great that Lamp had seen, and he stared at that sunset until it fell beyond his sight. Lamp then returned back to his room, lied down in his bed with his coat over him and fell asleep.
The next morning, Lamp woke up to Graphite passed out with his face in a bowl of popcorn. Lamp was about to start laughing but kept himself to prevent the pony from waking up and kicking him in the face again. Lamp ordered a breakfast of watermelon juice, watermelon slices, watermelon jam on toast, watermelon pie, watermelon biscuits and watermelon bites. After breakfast, Lamp went to explore the front end of the train with an odd result.
He arrived into an open room where a group of stallions had made a circle, but inside of it were 2 ponies brawling each other. The men on the outside of the circle cheered them on and tossed bits into a bag. This sight inspired Lamp to turn around and return to his room.
He opened the door to see Graphite on the couch with a 2 litre bottle of green soda pop, watching the news on TV for some reason.
"What are you watching?" Lamp asked.
"It's a news special on princess Luna." Graphite responded "This mare... is a babe!"
"Okay, I can understand why you joined the guard now." Lamp said after his realization. "You're a fanboy to the levels of nuttery. You joined the guard to get closer to Luna?"
"Hey, I joined the Lunar Guard out of family tradition and so that nopony would ever harm Luna. By the steel of my sword, the armour of my hide and 'til the last drop of blood… no harm will come to Luna.
It was at that time Lamp puked ferociously onto the carpet.
"Wow! I say something cheesy and 'Let fly the breakfast Graphite!'." Graphite exclaimed, not amused.
"No, I'm sorry I just... that was just a really bad line." Lamp said noticeably sick.
"Well take your fat plot over to the phone and call somepony to clean up and sterilize everything in this room."
Lamp grabbed the phone and called the cleaning service to help with the mess and Graphite with his obsession, but Graphite didn't like that joke. Lamp sat down beside him and watched the special for three hours. After it was over asking Graphite:
"So, can we go find something else to do now?"
"What are you talking about? Next is the biography on princess Celestia!" Graphite responded with a fan girl smile. "Know your enemy Lamp, know your enemy and her stupid butthole face!"
Sure enough, Lamp watched six hours of specials on the princess' sitting beside a unicorn whose magic included angering people. He had learned all about Canterlot and some of the requirements to surviving life there and Canterlot throughout the years. It was very informative for young Lamp. He did not thank the grey pony for showing him though, for his nose still hurt from the combat practise that Graphite had executed on his face.
The two ponies ordered dinner and decided to play a strategy board game while watching Guards on the unicorn's portable TV. The idea of this board game was to take over all of Equestria playing as different leaders. Graphite was princess Luna of course, and Lamp was Celestia. It was quite a battle between the two. Lamp's creative thinking and Graphite's tactical knowledge were evenly matched. The two laughed at some of the shows that were being watched while they were playing, with many more laughs from that night. They did not realize that, by the time they decided it was time to get to bed, that it was already 3am. Knowing that, they went to bed.
That morning Lamp woke up and realized that he had been wearing his coat four days straight and headed to the washroom to clean up a little. After a shower and some much needed soap and detergent to his coat, he relocated his plot to his room once again.
"Hey there Silver Stripe!" Graphite said joyfully "Or maybe I could call you S.S.?... oh wait, I don't like the sound of that... Hey there Lamp!"
"More energetic than usual?" Lamp responded.
"The conductor wanted to know if we could come help him out today...and I thought that it was my duty to help the people of the kingdom..." Graphite began "so I signed us up!"
"Us?"
"Yup, let's go!" Graphite said as he threw on his Lunar Armor and dragged Lamp by his coat into the hallway.
Graphite dragged the pegasus down the hall until he finally got up by his side and walked. They continued passed ponies, tables, chairs, foals, washrooms and all that was on the train until Lamp once again returned to the fools brawling each other near the conductors train car.
"Hey everyone! Fresh blood for the battlegrounds." One of the ponies said.
"Throw 'em in the ring!" shouted multiple people.
Both Lamp and Graphite thrown into the ring, attempted at being forced to battle.
"We aren't going to let you leave until one of you is bleeding like a REAL stallion." One pony said.
"You up for a fight?" Graphite said challenging him.
Lamp set down his hat, left his boots on and threw his jacket down to the floor, ready for a battle.
"Woah Lamp nice wings!" Graphite complemented as Lamp sat there puzzled. "Wait, what?"
Lamp had just realized that his coat had covered his wings the entire time. During the train ride he had slept and wore his coat every second. Lamp had surprised his comrade as much as himself, seeing his feathers ungroomed and long ever since the farm. He didn't mind, it was time for a battle.
Graphite charged at Lamp gaining speed. Graphite used his magic to throw up Lamp's coat into the air as he ran straight on. Lamp had dodged and kicked his foe in the head, hitting his helmet not doing too much damage. As they brawled and dodged around the room, Lamp had noticed the sunlight reflecting off his wings across the room. Graphite charged once more at Lamp and kicked him right in the ass, turning Lamp into a very angry pony. Lamp turned around, starred his opponent, the once he had battled by tactics the night before, and ran. Lamp opened his wings charging the opponent, his wings reflecting the afternoon sunlight into the eyes of Graphite. Lamp got close to his blinded hostile, not stopping for anything and jumped into the air landing a cracking kick right below Graphites horn and onto his helmet dead center. Graphite's head seemed to turn around violently fast and slammed against the wall, making the grey pony crash into the ground lying flat as the floor they fought on. Lamp ran over to Graphite as the crowd cheered and roared.
"Graphite! Get up! Are you okay?!" Lamp shouted desperately waiting for an answer.
The fallen pony began to move. Graphite opened his eyes, looked at Lamp and swiftly kicked him right in the testicles. Lamp fell to the ground nearly in the same way, both ponies realizing how quickly that escalated.
Rolling around for about a minute the two ponies got up to a crowd cheering on a great battle.
"Okay you sissies, round 2!" said the obvious fight club captain, shoving Lamp across the room into the opposite corner of Graphite.
Lamp backed into the corner, preparing himself for a great deal of pain. He saw Graphite ready to charge on the other side of the train car, but that did not scare Lamp, his expression did. Graphite's look showed all the negative emotions that somepony could have, and at the worst levels.
Graphite started to charge at a speed almost equal to the train he was on. Accelerating right at Lamp, the orange pony curious as to why his new friend was about to bring his doom. He braced for the pain about to be smacked upon him. Looking up, Lamp saw the grey pony at full speed jump over his head and buck the fight captain right between the eyes with both feet, making a defining cracking sound.
Lamp recovered himself, watching the grey pony throwing the fighters around the room with ease due to his anger. As graphite was getting surrounded by brawlers ready to pounce, Lamp began bucking some in the chest, a few in the face. Lamp's sliver feathers reflected sunshine into the eyes of his opponents leaving some great openings that Graphite had used. After Graphite picked up a table and smashed it into about 5 ponies heads, they ran for their lives screaming like cowards. The two stood their looking at the room that they transformed into a battlefield, with ponies groaning on the ground.
"Lets get out of here, I need a bagel" Graphite sighed, grabbing his helmet.
"What about your duties in helping out the cond..."
"Fuck the conductor, fuck the kingdom, and fuck this shit! I need a good healthy dose of whatever helps remove hoofmarks from your face... and I want, MY BAGEL!." Graphite yelled with a powerful voice.
Lamp re-acquired his coat and hat, then walked, or better yet, limped awkwardly back to to the room. Graphite gave Lamp the evil look on the way back, due to the fact there was Lamp's hoof print tattooed on his head from the fight. They would be in Canterlot in 8 hours, and it was 7pm once they finished dinner.
"So you got plans once you get to Canterlot?" Graphite asked Lamp.
"I got an apartment, and an initiative to join up with the guard. That's about it" Lamp told to the pony he had called 'War Im-bred'
"If I ever need help to kick some ass again, I'll come find you Lamp." Graphite said with both a smart ass and somewhat nice tone. "Not like I can't handle them on my own.
Graphite said before rolling over on his half-bed, half-snack stack mattress.
Lamp took of his coat and hid it between the mattress as he had always done back at the farm. He tilted his cowcolt hat forward, lifted his feet and boots up and retired to some sleep.
Lamp woke up in what seemed like the middle of the night. Spotting shadows, who were rummaging through their belongings, he got up and began to wildly kick in the direction of the darkness shrouded enemies. After a few kicks, he received a boulder like hit to the face and faded off a bit. Lamp was picked and received another painful strike as he was thrown out the window, his hat flying off his head, and then slamming into the ground. The only thing he now had to his name was a severely damaged and wrecked body, and his favourite pair of boots.
