Disclaimer: I do not own High School DxD. If I did, I probably would have converted it to a hentai and reaped in more profits that way. I mean, really people, is it so hard to create a decent plot-with-porn anime?
"… with eyewitness reports claiming rather vividly that the man had called himself "Harry Potter" and had immediately incapacitated some of Britain's best and brightest by – I'm sorry what? He gave them… erections? Even the women? How does that make any sen –"
"… and the manhunt for the elusive terrorist "Harry Potter" goes on this evening ever since the mysterious man made his display at Heathrow International, in which he left the scene with mad screams of the killing curse and with trousers feeling slightly too tight for comfort –"
"And Today's top story: England gets hard for Harry Potter –"
"… it is a sad day indeed for all of England, when the name of one of its most famous fictional characters that has warmed his way into our hearts, is now being used in acts of terror and destruction, and sexual debauchery –"
"All right, all right, that's enough Kiki. Cut off the local news feeds, I think I've had my fun."
A young, sixteen year old boy said to empty air as he walked down the streets of London. He had his smartphone out in front of his face, and he let out a long, tired yawn as he craned his neck to the side, doing it in a manner that delivered a comfortable crack.
"As interesting as it is messing with the British Secret Service and all, I have more important things to do. Gods, devils, angels – I need more information on all of this."
His smartphone gave an affirmative beep. "I have reintegrated myself back into the MI6 computers Issei-sama. By tracking my initial hack, I was able to install a backdoor program that enables me total undetected controls of their systems."
"That's my girl. What did you find?"
"It seems that most high-ranking officials in the Government and Bureaucracies of the world are aware about the existence of the "supernatural", in one way or another. Some of them even have notable contracts with… High-Ranking Devils."
Issei rubbed his nose. "Devils."
"Hai Issei-sama. The President of America for instance, is assumed to be in a contract with Lucifer, and the Royal Family of England, the Queen in particular, is in a contract with the Leviathan. There was a general unspoken agreement not to make this information public – there was an accord of this, but I am afraid that the information on the MI6 computers do not quite specify. Should I hack the Pentagon instead to retrieve more information Issei-sama?"
Issei slowly rubbed his temples around his head. When he had set out to England on the whims of his mother, he was ready for pretty much anything. He was ready for Irina to slam a door in his face, or for her to call the police on him, or for an awkward situation arriving due to a lack of common ground and suitable topics of conversation, as they came to the disappointing realization that a brief childhood friendship was an empty facsimile that could not withstand the test of time and the growth of the individuals.
Except, he had not been expecting to discover that Irina was some sort of Secret Agent for the Anglican – or was it Methodist? Or Pentecostal? Or Adventist? – Church.
There was also the fact that nothing had quite prepared him to come to terms with the knowledge that there were beings out in the world who called themselves supernatural.
Issei scoffed out loud.
"Is… something wrong Issei-sama?"
"Gods. Devils. Angels. Ghosts. Spirits. I call bullshit. Total and complete bullshit."
"Issei-sama?"
"It is more likely to believe that these creatures are alien lifeforms that migrated to earth, and ultimately, primitive humans, being unable to classify them as beings from an unknown and advanced civilization, decided to attribute their status to that of beings of myth, legend and folklore."
The boy began pacing, walking left, right, forward and backwards, as he placed a hand under his chin.
"Issei-sama… are you… in denial?"
"NO!" he said, a bit too loudly for his own liking, "I'm just – I'm a man of science Kiki! I can't just close my eyes and say, 'oh, god is real, heaven and hell are real and humans have souls!' There are far, far too many problems arriving from the declaration of those facts! If hell is real, and souls are to be sent there to burn and torture for all eternity – that is a problem!"
"It is?"
"YES!" he yelled, drawing some few, concerned stares his direction "The concept of hell is ridiculous! It would be to imply that 'souls' which are hypothetically supposed to a 'spiritual' conception are capable of feeling physical pain! How do you burn a soul?"
At that point, many people were edging away from the teen, and some had already begun to flip their phones out to call for an emergency service if needed.
"Fire is the rapid oxidation of material in the exothermic chemical process of combustion, and flames consist primarily of carbon dioxide, water vapor, oxygen and nitrogen – how do these physical elements harm a soul? That would be to suggest or imply that the soul is made up of elements which are susceptible to detriment by flames, in which case, the soul isn't spiritual!"
The boy said, before palming his face and letting out a deep sigh.
"That is not even to go into the moral ramifications of hell. Eternity is a long, long, long time. The human mind cannot even conceptualize eternity, because we would be reaching past quintillions and sextillions of years – and we still wouldn't be close. To punish a serial killer or a sex offender for infinity, would be the same as locking up a six year old girl in a Maximum-Security, Federal Penitentiary for ninety-eight years because she shoplifted an Oreo."
He then began to rub his eyes.
"Even Heaven isn't any better. Being punished for all eternity is horrible, but being told to enjoy for all eternity? Eternal pleasure and bliss? I can barely go two-weeks just eating great stuff and having fun before I'm bored out of my mind. I can't imagine my 'soul' being forced to live through septillions and octillions of years being happy. Unless they find some way to compress the passage of time to make a nonillion years feel like a second – and even then, it doesn't come close to the vast length of eternity."
The scientist let out a bland sigh.
"Why did everything become so horrible Kiki? I was content to believe that when I died, it would be it – complete cessation of existence. Bleak? Sure, but it beats the alternative of an afterlife, of the unrealized horrors of eternal life. But now? Now I know there's the possibility of me suffering for octillions and nonillions of years, all on the whim of some god?"
The boy clenched his fist.
"No way am I letting that happen."
Kiki, despite being an artificial intelligence program, could not help but feel a sense of foreboding at those seven words.
"Issei-sama…? What are you planning?"
There was the slow, heavy chuckle of a teen that Kiki had grown to fear.
"First, I need data. I'm going to research. Angels, devils, spirits, zombies – all of them – I will put them on my table, and I will dissect them, study them, their inner workings, their chemical make-up, their biological components and weaknesses – everything."
The teen's eyes regained a powerful spark to them.
"Then, I will capture God. And I will put god on my table, and smile as my scalpels dig deep, until I become the man who finds out where god came from."
Kiki could only remain silent, as Issei then stretched his hands out.
"And then, I will strip everything down. Heaven, Hell – the Afterlife. I will stand and watch as those insults to the transiency of human life are ultimately demolished. Until there are no devils, no angels and no gods."
Issei smiled.
"Only man."
Heavy, thick silence radiated, as Hyoudou Issei cast his gaze up unto the skies, and made out his declaration.
"Mummy, why is that creepy man talking to himself and smiling?"
"Just don't look him in the eye, son, the police will take care of him soon."
Issei's left eye twitched.
"Kiki, edit those two out when I ask you to play my grand dialogue about my questionable plan to destroy heaven and hell, will you please?"
"Anything for you Issei-sama."
"Thanks Kiki. Now, onwards! To capture a fine specimen and conduct highly inappropriate experiments on it in the name of SCIENCE!"
Large, heavy grumbles echoed out like the fat moaning of two whales in intercourse.
"…Right after lunch."
"Excuse me, I remember quite specifically asking for a Pepsi with my fries and chicken. A Pepsi. This is a Coke Zero, not a Pepsi. And don't try to be a smart ass telling me they're basically the same thing. If you were meant to be a smart ass, you wouldn't be working at KFC to begin with."
"You know what? Never mind. Just get me a coffee instead. Yes, a coffee. No, I do not want tea, you bloody English wanker, I want coffee. What's with you British people and tea? You didn't even create it, you just ripped it off from China, and now it's like your national food or something."
"Oh, you better not have spat in this. If I find out you spat in this, I will take my sweet time tracing your family tree, your brother, your sister, your father and mother, your grandmother and even your damned third cousins, and I will turn them all into coffee beans and make an unorthodox donation to Starbucks."
"Oh, what's that? The coffee is too cold? You want to give me a warmer one? Why thank you."
Hyoudou Issei whistled a soft jaunty tune as he sat down and stared at his meal in happiness, ignoring the absolutely-god-damned terrified looks of the people around him.
"Issei-sama is scary when he gets hungry."
"I have no idea as to what you're talking about Kiki."
"…This the third time I've had to jam communication systems to prevent civilians from reporting you to the police Issei-sama."
"What? He was going to call the cops? He was the one who spat in my coffee!"
"And you threatened to cannibalize his entire family for it."
"But I didn't, and I won't. It would be a waste of time creating a device that micro-sized and converted the complex human cell structure into that of a coffee bean. It would be much easier to just get him fired."
"Fired? You'd make him lose his job Issei-sama?"
"Oh, no, I meant literally fired. I'd drug him and have him shipped to Afghanistan under the guise of a homosexual prostitute carrying illegal contraband of yaoi porn. His fate will meet with a firing squad."
Issei paused halfway through his chicken lap. "… or he may just be beheaded instead. They probably won't want to waste their bullets."
"Issei-sama is really, really scary when he's hungry."
The scientist took a calm sip of his coffee, allowing an almost pleasurable smile to come upon his face at the quality of the brew, and then giving a long, satisfied sigh as he could practically feel the caffeine begin to work its magic on his body.
It was a bit of a hassle, altering his own body chemistry to allow for the maximum use of his metabolism, and then modifying his own metabolic rate to go above and beyond that of what could be considered human and normal. When he ate, food was immediately broken down into its constituent minerals and components, and these minerals and components were immediately distributed around his body in the most efficient manner possible. It ensured that he never got fat, because he considered being obese to be a large detriment to his day-to-day life and activities, and it also made it so he never truly needed to use the restroom – which he considered another detriment to day-to-day life.
Any excess of minerals was stored, processed, and then used to provide more energy and stamina, thereby also cutting down how fast he got tired and exhausted, and consequently meaning that he only required about two to three hours of sleep a day.
It was for that reason, that despite just having endured a long, twelve hour journey from Japan to London, and subsequently escaping and evading its secret service, Issei was still sitting upright, rather than possessing the eyes of a man who had seen death knock on his door with a large, twisted scythe.
The downside however, was that he had a ravenous appetite. He was essentially a bottomless pit when he ate, so he never actually got full, which meant that he was technically always hungry, but was able to ignore this hunger and function normally. However, when his hunger did reach a point in which he could not handle, it growled aggressively, and often times had the side-effect of making him more… cranky.
The young teen let out a large, satisfied burp as he completed his meal, and then proceeded to pat his stomach, which, despite the amount of food he had made vanish, remained entirely flat.
"Alright. Now that we've completed that –"
BRRING!
Issei rose an eyebrow.
"Hello?"
"Issei-kun!"
"Ka-chan."
"Please tell me you don't have anything to do with Harry Potter becoming the most wanted man in England."
Issei coughed awkwardly.
"Really Issei-kun? You had one thing to do Issei-kun. ONE THING! Just go out there, meet Irina-chan, and hit it off! How did you end up making Harry Potter a Terrorist?!"
"It just happened Ka-chan."
There was the sound of a heavy sigh over the phone.
"In any case, how's Irina-chan?"
"Er, I haven't actually gotten to meet her yet."
"What? Why?"
"Well, I had Kiki hack the MI6 computers to find her – which was what caused the entire Harry Potter incident in the first place – and I ended up finding something else. Something I still can't quite believe."
"Issei-kun, what did I tell you about getting distracted whenever you're with your gadgets?"
"Ka-san. God is real."
There was a heavy bit of silence over the phone.
"Well of course he is! I wouldn't have such an amazing son if it weren't for him after all."
Issei palmed his face. "I think you're missing the point Ka-san."
"No, I'm not." She said sternly "I may not always look like it Issei-kun, but I've always believed, in one way or another. When I would wake up and look at my cute little boy, who would stand in University theaters and go to advanced science expositions, who would be personally invited by Prime Ministers and Presidents alike – I knew, a part of me knew, that you were a precious gift to me Issei-kun. A gift, from something beyond anything I could ever begin to imagine. So, I have always believed Issei-kun."
Issei rubbed his cheek, not trusting himself to do anything else.
"In any case – oh, your father says that if you find an angel, you should take a picture for him… in a swimsuit? Wait… Nomura-dear, would you kindly like to tell me what you want a picture of an angel in a swimsuit for? Isn't your lovely beautiful wife enough, hmmmm?"
Issei merely chuckled.
"And you young man, whether or not there is a god or not, you better get that posterior of your into high gear and find Irina-chan. She's part of the church isn't she? She might even shed some more light on the matter, and you'll actually listen to her without thinking she's crazy! It's just perfect!"
He strangely agreed. Irina was with the Church, and apparently, not 'with the church' in the manner he had assumed, as some form of cleric or nun, who had pointlessly wasted their entire lives in an empty dedication to a nonexistent entity.
She might even be an exorcist, in which it would provide him with the perfect chance to meet with a 'devil' or 'demon' and capture them. He could already feel his mouth begin to salivate at the prospect of being the first man to conduct scientific research on otherworldly creatures.
"Fine, fine, I'll find her."
"Good! And the next time I call, there better be the voice of a nice young lady on the other end for me to listen to!"
The phone call disconnected, leaving Issei musing alone to himself in his seat at the restaurant.
"So… time to hunt down my old childhood friend. I wonder how life has been treating her so far? Well, she did look good – quite grown and developed… uh, Kiki, I need you to run that video recording of Irina again."
"… Issei-sama, you're not planning on masturbating to her again are you?"
"What? That's preposterous! To even begin to assume that I would debase myself to such a pitiful level in which I would sexually stimulate myself to images of my childhood cru – er… friend – Kiki, I expected more from you!"
"That's great and all to hear Issei-sama… but if you're not planning on doing what I think, why are we heading towards the restroom?"
"… just bring up the damn video Kiki."
It was surprisingly easy for people to forget that great men, no matter how fanciful, or how grandiose their names had become, or how magnificent their legends had twisted throughout time –
Were still men.
Be it Adam, or be it Gandhi, be it Queen Esther, or be it Mother Theresa – all of them, were human. They had possessed their flaws, their insecurities, their vices, their little thoughts of doubt, their moments of pain, their moments of triumph – all of them, were inherently flawed.
Hyoudou Issei had no delusions to even believe for even a second that he would be any different, that he would be someone who would use his intellect to advance beyond those tiny flaws and therefore become an inherently perfect individual.
Or at least, that was what he told himself while he whacked off to Irina's sexy ass anyway.
There were also other ways he could justify himself, if anyone ever felt the need to consider his actions as somewhat deplorable. All he would open his mouth and say, would be the two words:
King Solomon.
King Solomon, famed and recognized for being one of the wisest men to ever walk the earth – was the man who's greatest sin had been his extremely grandiose lust, and he had been a pervert like no other. King Solomon, the wisest man in the world, was also known in order circles, as the "Original Harem King."
Truly, what did it say, that the man who had been blessed with supernatural wisdom beyond that conceivable by any other mortal man, had decided to amass a harem of at least three hundred wives, and seven hundred concubines?
This was, arguably, the wisest man in history, and his flaw, his greatest and most incorruptible vice, was the fact that he had loved women and sex far, far too much.
Was it to be interpreted that Solomon had been wise enough to understand the true beauty and nature behind the feminine form, to understand the fleeting transiency of human life, and had dedicated himself to filling his every moment with beautiful mounds of breasts, of naked bodies and of pleasurable intercourse?
Or was it to be viewed, that the wisest and most powerful of men, were mere unwitting slaves to the form and pleasure that was derived from being with their counterparts; that women possessed this inherent desire to enchant, fulfill and complete them?
The wisest man in the world, would go against God, all for a woman –
If that did not drive home the point that the feminine form was a thing to be feared, revered and sought after –
Nothing would.
"… Nothing you say will justify the fact that you just masturbated in a KFC bathroom Issei-sama."
Hyoudou Issei walked outside of the restaurant and coughed into his hand.
"Initiate Code Eros Zeta."
"Issei-sama you wouldn't – !"
"Activate Memory Cleanse: Time frame, thirty minutes. Initiate full system Re-boot on completion."
There was a pause.
"Ah – Issei-sama? When did you finish eating your meal? And, when did we get outside?"
"That was ages ago Kiki – keep up. I might need to upgrade your Random Access Memory to Eight Exabytes when next I have the chance – it seems you're running slowly on just one."
"Mou, that's mean Issei-sama! I have the fastest operating system in the world!"
"Well, let's test that theory shall we? Irina Shidou – find her."
"Hai! Leave it to me Issei-sama, I'll find her in no –"
It was rare that Issei felt any form of concern for his AI, and even though he knew that there was nothing that would and could truly harm her, considering he had numerous amounts of back-ups of her central program, he couldn't help but feel slightly concerned at the sharp static noise that had immediately radiated from his mobile device.
"Kiki?"
Truth be told, his biggest concern with Kiki would be that she would completely take over the internet, and lead to some form of doomsday-level scenario with her powers, though he did have a long list of contingencies to prevent that from happening, it was a scenario that would be extremely annoying to deal with.
One would argue as to why he didn't just give his AI a perverted personality, and the truth was that he had.
However, when Kiki started using her abilities to hack into private phones of celebrities, or record people whilst they were naked and show him the videos for his amusement – he had no choice but to deactivate that particular personality program.
He hadn't deactivated it because he was a decent or honorable person, nor had he done it because he felt he was invading on their privacy, oh no, he couldn't care less about the moral etiquette.
He had disabled it solely because what he saw, it was… too much.
Till today, Issei had not quite forgotten, the day when Kiki had hacked into the personal computer of a hot teenage girl, and then spurned him with the idea of beating it off to her. He had been hesitant at first, but then grew excited as he watched her undress from the view of her webcam, only to freeze as his eyes came upon large, horrifying scars that littered her back and legs.
There was no explaining how utterly… filthy he felt when he discovered that she was a victim of domestic assault.
His attempts at cleansing his conscience had included eventually anonymously reporting the case, and providing supporting evidence. Still, no matter how he had ultimately saved that girl's life, saved her from her trauma, and no matter how he argued that if it were not for him, she would have continued to suffer –
It didn't quite make him feel any less like filth.
That was when he had noticed the pattern.
Tough, impeccable girls who acted like hard-asses, were struggling deeply to maintain a façade, and cute, innocent girls who you believed couldn't hurt a fly, where the types that would dress up in leather and were virulent nymphomaniacs.
The kind smiling police man was actually a hidden serial killer, and the angry looking biker with the dragon tattoo was in fact a big softie who slept with a teddy bear and night light.
People – the true nature of people – it revealed themselves when they believed they were alone, when they thought that there was no one watching them.
Issei had seen it, and come to one sharp realization.
It was ugly.
Broken messes, secret incestuous relationships, marital assaults, domestic abuse problems, hidden drug problems and addictions, sickening fetishes –
Issei truly did not want to see any of it.
Not ever again.
So, he stuck to cat videos.
And hentai.
Tons, and tons of hentai.
Strictly for research purposes of course.
The fact that he needed to watch copious amounts of hentai to write a thesis on the evolution of art style in the Japanase Adult Animation history was just a silent bonus.
Not that he'd ever admit that to anyone, or out loud for that matter.
"Ah, sorry Issei-sama – something seems to be jamming my search."
His mind was drawn from his reminiscing slowly, as he blinked. Then, Kiki's words registered in his mind, and he stared in disbelief.
"I designed you to have access to every single satellite in orbit, and if you wanted to, you could cause them to short-circuit and rain down to the earth like meteors in the apocalypse. You can instantly crash the stock market, and completely negate the currency of every country in the world at the push of a button. You can hijack cars and airplanes, and even gain the nuclear launch codes to the world powers and cause World War III in a matter of minutes – so tell me, what in the world could possibly be jamming your signal?!"
When he had told his mother that Kiki had pseudo-godlike control over all forms of technology, he had not been exaggerating.
Not in the slightest.
"It's interference – like an electromagnetic pulse, but being distributed at subtle frequencies not unlike radio waves – ah, Issei-sama, the source – it's getting closer!"
Issei rose an eyebrow.
"How close?"
"It's four – three – two –"
His phone fell out of his hand, crashing into the ground and immediately scattering into a mess of parts, just as he felt someone bump into him.
"Ah! I'm so sorry!"
Issei's eyes flickered from his crashed phone, which was his major means of communication with Kiki, as well as his only means of finding Irina, and then turned his gaze instead to the young girl in front of him.
His mind had already began whirling a thousand miles a minute. Blonde hair, blue eyes, one-hundred and fifty centimeters (four feet eleven inches), dressed in unusual garb that made her look as though she was just coming from a Harry Potter convention. Her voice was soft, her manner of speaking elegant, her posture however, was shaky, uncertain – her mind was clearly preoccupied with something, which was also the reason she had failed to take note of where she was going.
Still, rather than mentioning any of these things, Issei gave her a bland look.
"I thought it was Dorothy that got lost, not the Witch."
Her form immediately went rigid.
"E-excuse me?"
"I'm not an expert on fashion, but I think the large blue witch's hat, the robes, and the cape easily classifies you as a witch. Then there is the rather wonderful coincidence that you happened to stumble across me just when Kiki felt something jamming her systems – and whilst I question my sanity at the prospect of believing that witches are real, I'm about to suspend my disbelief and just assume that you are in fact, a witch."
The young blonde girl opened her mouth, and then closed it, and then opened it again.
Issei to his part, unabashedly, grabbed the girl's cape, taking it up to his nose and taking a quick whiff.
"W-w-what are you –"
He then carried the girl's hat, taking another whiff of it, before biting softly at the edges, causing the girl in question to turn flustered.
"W-what are –"
He made to reach for her robes, and she leapt back, face slightly red.
"W-what a-are y-you doing?!"
"You smell and taste normal for a witch. No, you taste more like a teenage girl than a witch. Perfumes, sanitizers, numerous amounts of cooking spices, detergent – and nothing out of the ordinary. No smell of cauldrons or pots, or any form of brews – no remnants of any materials that my taste buds are unable to identify."
"Y-you were tasting me?"
"Hmm? Oh yes. I needed to confirm if there was anything off – or perhaps I made a wrong logical leap and you are just an ordinary girl in a witches outfit? Unlikely considering that your name is Le Fay Pendragon –"
The girl's eyes immediately widened, and she took a step back, her body language immediately becoming hostile and worried. "How did you –"
"You stitched your name into the bottom part of your hat – I ran my tongue across the letters when I bit into it earlier." He said as though it was the most obvious thing in the world, before sighing and rubbing his temples.
"Considering how you reacted when I mentioned your name, I assume you really are a witch? But Le Fay Pendragon? Really? Jesus-fucking-Christ, if it weren't for me being consciously aware that I did not ingest any hallucinogenic drugs, I'd believe I was high right now."
He then blinked and stared at her.
"Considering how you look too damn cute to be real, I'm beginning to suspect that might actually be the case."
The girl's face immediately turned red.
"C-C-Cu –"
Issei palmed his face. "For heaven's sakes, you have a face and body that would easily put A-List actresses to shame. Why in the world are you stuttering when someone calls you cute? You should have heard that at least a million times over by now."
"W-well, I haven't really -"
"How could you not have –?"
Issei's mind came to a slow stop.
Le Fay Pendragon.
The House of Pendragon.
Pendragon as in, the last name of the legendary King Arthur, and the House of Pendragon as in, his direct heirs and/or relatives. The same Pendragons that were said to be under the protection of the Golden Dawn.
"Protection" however, was a rather questionable term. What were they being protected from? Enemies of Arthur? Descendants of enemies of Arthur? And this protection, at what cost was it delivered?
Ah, he could tell immediately.
In Hyoudou Issei's vision, words lit up as his eyes dashed back and forth all over the girl's form.
Home-schooled. Sheltered. Happy. Enthusiastic. Polite. Optimistic. Kind. Generous. Caring.
Prone to Attachment.
Innocent.
Naïve.
Issei waved off the words from his vision, scowling as the last one stood, bright, and most clear amongst others.
"Um –"
"Shush. I'm trying to ignore the compulsion to open your pretty sheltered eyes to the harsh realities of the world before you go out there and get your heart broken, or worse, get yourself killed. Don't say anything, just stand there and scowl."
She blinked at him, staring strangely.
"I said scowl. You're not scowling."
"No one's ever told me that before."
Issei rolled his eyes. "Of course they haven't. Most people are afraid to speak their mind for fear of being ostracized, mocked or ridiculed."
"And… you're not?"
"I'm not what?"
"Afraid? Of being… ostracized, or mocked?"
"No." he said plainly. "When I was younger, maybe, but I made a promise to my mother. I would never lie. I would be true, about my thoughts, about myself. I would express myself as honestly as I could – and whether people accepted it or not, it was their business."
The girl, curious, stared at him.
"So… you don't lie?"
"I don't lie."
"Never?"
"Not when it matters." He admitted. "I can joke around and divert the truth once in a while, but I don't explicitly lie."
There was a strange, lofty silence that held for a few more seconds.
"Oh, by the way, I may need to take you to a lab and conduct a series of invasive experiments on you to discover if you really do have reality warping abilities that you call 'magic'."
Then, that strange lofty silence immediately veered off into a silent uncomfortable one.
"…what?"
