Drop in the Ocean
A drop in the ocean,, A change in the weather,I was praying that you and me might end up 's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert,But I'm holding you closer than most,'Cause you are my heaven
They drove down an old country interstate in South Dakota. Destination, somewhere of little significance. It was the journey that counted.
Led Zeppelin hummed from the speakers. The psychedelic melody soothing in it's familiarity.
They sat in silence, the pair comfortable together from years of history under their belt, but a new found awkward itch had crept between them lately. One drunken night had put a silent canyon between them. One they were both afraid to cross out of fear of what they'd find if they finally admitted what that night meant.
Hands securely on the wheel, Dean gazed out onto the road, but finally brought his voice to life. "There something you want to tell me?" He spoke up out of the blue, as piercing emerald eyes darted to Haley in the passenger seat.
Her chocolate orbs shot wide, as if she had been caught somewhere she didn't belong. Regaining composure, Haley subdued her obvious surprise, and put a look of ignorance upon her angelic face. "What do you mean?" She responded back as if clueless.
Seeing she wasn't going to be an easy show and tell, Dean laid all his cards on the table. Hoping she'd be honest in return. "Well lets see⦠Bobby's been giving me the eye for about a week now. Cas keeps saying 'go to her'. And my brother," Dean let out a huff with the memory of Sam's persistence. "Well Sammy flat out said we need to talk. So without sounding like a broken record here, is there something you want to tell me?" Tension rose in his tone. Dean wasn't angry with Haley, but frustrated. Frustrated something was going on with her, but they had fractured their bond so severally with one night of passion that she couldn't come him anymore. She use to always come to him, first usually. Now he didn't even get last place.
Gazing out the window, Haley could have screamed. She knew each of those men knew her secret, but she couldn't believe they had been going behind her back to try and force it from her. She would tell him in her own time, Haley told herself. A time when he's not operating machinery that could get them all killed if he didn't take the news well. A time, when he wasn't already tense, so his top wouldn't completely blow.
Watching the pristine countryside of South Dakota pass by outside her window in a flash, Haley lied again with a shrug to her shoulders. "Nope. I don't know what they're talking about."
Her answer echoed in his head as a lie. Dean had known Haley too long to not see right through her evasive attitude. She never was good at lying, especially not to him.
Tension in his veins taking hold, Dean abruptly pulled the car over. With the windows down, a crackling sound could be heard as the wheels veered off the asphalt, and onto the gravel along the side of the road.
Killing the engine, without a word, Dean climbed out of the car. The warm spring air splashed his face and calmed his senses, as Dean went around to her side of the car, and leaned against the hood.
Haley silently watched him through the windshield. Knowing in her heart it was time, even if she wasn't ready.
Following suit, Haley climbed from the car and joined Dean. Hip by hip, arm by arm, she leaned against the car beside him. Gazing out at the fields that lined the road, her eyes drifted to the mountain peaks off in the distance, snow still touched their tops.
Heart pounding harder then ever before in her chest, Haley took a deep breath for courage and bit the bullet.
"I'm pregnant." She admitted on a quiet breath, never daring to look his way. The night still plagued and blessed her mind. Right after Jo and Ellen died. The loss had been too great. The whole group had drowned their sorrows in whiskey, but only Dean and Haley had needed the extra comfort of each others arms.
The breath choked from Dean's lungs with the power of her words. His eyes shot wide but stayed glued ahead. Apprehension shot through his veins, but not because they were in a pickle and she didn't belong to him, not in that way. A fear had been looming in his gut, while numb indifference swam around his heart for the past few months now. Ever since the apocalypse became reality, but suddenly terror over took Dean's veins, stronger then any other emotion raging inside him. While a smile wanted to edge on his lips to the fact that Haley was giving him a gift he had only dared to dream of in his most sacred of wishes, and he couldn't imagine anyone else he'd rather do it with, he was also more terrified then ever now. Terrified his baby may never even live long enough to be born, since tomorrow isn't promised these days. Terrified even if it did, what kind of world would it have to live in.
His prolonged silence stabbed Haley in the heart like a knife. Proving all her worst fears true, he didn't want this baby, didn't want her, not like that.
A huff lifted Haley's chest with the sick predictability. "That's what I thought." She spoke, every ounce of strength she had within her used to restrain the growing anger from her tongue.
Without a word, Haley left his side, and started back for the car door. Not wanting to look at Dean another second. Angry with him, since he had been the one to kiss her that night with desperate need, and start the fire that created this life within her. While also angry at herself for ever thinking he'd step up and not resent her.
Watching Haley slip away snapped Dean from his inner turmoil. In a second he reached out, and grabbed her hand. Spinning her around, he pulled her to him, fast and with need.
"It's not like that." He quickly reassured, the usual roughness soothing on his breath.
Dean's hand clasped hers tighter at their side, as his other reached up, and gently gazed her forehead before tangling into her silky soft locks. Mesmerized by the natural beauty of her from close up.
"I want this, but it's apocalypse now, Baby. How am I suppose to feel when you tell me we're going to have a family, but I don't even know if there's a tomorrow." Emerald eyes pierced her with the weight on his heart. The smile edging on his lips, showed his urge to want to be endlessly happy about this news, but the look in his eyes revealed his fear this happiness may never see life.
Their eyes locked with everything between them, a life altering moment, in a life altering world, but together there was some safety.
"I'm scared too." Haley quietly admitted, the fear looming in her chocolate eyes before she dove against his chest. Needing to feel the security of his strong arms around her. The distance that had plagued them for months now, disappearing in the touch.
Dean held her close, as terror and joy swirled between them like a powerful twister. Hoping against hope for a happy ending that was usually never their luck.
Dean's face nuzzled against the top of her hair, savoring the sweet smell of spring rain to her locks. Wanting to bring lightness to the weight upon them, Dean asked an easy question.
"So how did everyone know before me?" He asked with his trademark smirk resting upon the crown of her head.
Haley's face burrowed deeper against his chest. Finding solace in his familiar rustic sent.
"You know Bobby, he figured it out. Since he was the one who caught us before we went upstairs that night. Cas used his angel mojo, I guess. And Sam," A laugh left her throat and fluttered between them. "Sam, made a joke he didn't expect to be true when he caught me getting sick one morning."
A chuckle huffed off his chest, as Dean imaged the startled look in Sammy's eyes when he figured out his attempt to be lighthearted was truth.
Holding her close, Dean found himself wishing against the odds this would go his way. Just this once he could win. Keep the girl and meet his child.
Snuggled safe against Dean, a man she had loved for most her life. Haley closed her eyes, savoring having Dean so close again. As she silently prayed for a miracle. A miracle, the tides would turn and happily ever after could be more than just a fairytale.
"Drop In the Ocean" Ron Pope
