Madeline Crashes a Burn Notice Writer's Meeting
Madeline Westen was obviously a woman on a mission. Her walk betrayed purpose and annoyance and her jaw was working steadily on a stick of nicotine gum. She stormed into the writers' room just before the 11am coffee break.
"Uh, Hello Mrs Westen" Matt stammered when he saw that his favourite matriarch had appeared. "What... um why have you come to visit us this morning?"
"Don't you 'Hello Mrs Westen me'" Madeline said pointing at Matt. "You should know after six seasons that I will not put up with your garbage. So there is no point pretending to be nice. You know why I am here, and I won't leave until you promise to fix it!" she said.
The other writers were looking at each other uncomfortably. Madeline Westen had always been scary, but never more so than when she broke the fourth wall to speak to them directly.
She slammed a stack of papers on the desk.
"This script has me smoking in every scene" she exclaimed with outrage.
There was stunned silence from the room. No one knew how to react to her statement.
"But you always smoke..." Marty the caterer said. "I've watched the show since day one and you smoke all the time..." He went silent when he saw the look Madeline was giving him.
"I'm trying to get custody of my grandson" Madeline said. "I've given up smoking, I'm on patches and gum." she explained.
"Ah..." Matt flicked through the pages of the script in confusion. "We never discussed the grandson. Did anyone suggest including the grandson in the story?" he asked the room.
"Well I'm sorry you're not up to speed with your characters" Madeline said in a tone which suggested she was not sorry at all "but Ruth has a drug problem. She's in rehab and the state has taken her son away from her. She called me from the clinic where she's staying and asked me to come forward to claim him."
"But you and Ruth hate each other..." one of the writers volunteered. "Why would she ask you for help?"
"Because she doesn't want Charlie in foster care" Madeline explained. "Ruth was in foster care herself for some time when she was a minor and as much as she dislikes me, she would rather I take Charlie than the state. You know if you paid attention to what Sam, Jesse, Fiona and I are doing with our lives instead of putting all your effort into what super exciting spy thing Michael's going to do next, you might actually know where your plot is going Mr Nix."
"Man, if we have a kid Charlie's age on set it's going to be really annoying" another writer said. "Also I hate writing kids. They are terrible actors and you have these stupid child labour laws you have to work around..."
"Do all your writers whine like that?" Madeline asked. "Because if they do, I can't imagine how you get any work done."
"Is there anything else?" Matt asked Madeline.
"Yes, how are you going to get Michael back here and back with Fiona?" Madeline asked. "I don't know where he is but she's with another man and I don't know how serious it is. I know Michael's a pain in the neck but I also know he's going to be devastated when he sees her with someone else." she went a bit quiet. "I'm on her side you know" she said. "There's only so much a woman can take from the man she loves. Maybe when you get him back here you can help him out a bit?"
"Madeline we can't discuss the future with you" Matt said gently. "Only your past and your present. You know that."
"Yes I know" Madeline said as she unwrapped another piece of chewing gum. "When Michael returns he needs to see me" she said.
"I don't know if that will be possible..." Matt said. "His orders are to not speak directly to any of you."
"I'm his mother!" Madeline said forcefully. "He needs to see me. You make it happen."
With nothing further to say, Madeline Westen picked up her handbag and left the meeting room. She had to go shopping before she picked up Charlie from her neighbour's house because Fiona and Carlos were coming for dinner.
Back to real life.
