"Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear…" Madame Pomfrey muttered, taking Ron's temperature. "Are you sure you didn't take anything? What's your medical history? Have you always been a redhead?"

"What does being a redhead have to do with it?"

"Nothing. It's just a lovely shade, that's all."

Ron groaned.

Tapping a hairpin against her teeth, Madame Pomfrey's face twisted in concentration. She circled Ron a bit, poking at cheeks, pinching fingers and measuring his hair with her forearm. "Oh this simply won't do!" she exclaimed, shuffling off to her study.

Harry raised an eyebrow, Hermione simply shrugged. Ron crossed his arms over his chest, which was a little more of a hassle then before. Under the breast? Over the breast? On the breast? He tried out different positions, then stopped when he saw Harry staring at his chest again. Bugger.

Madame Pomfrey emerged from her study, hauling a very heavy book in her arms. Gods, she could barely lift the bloody monster!

She gave a great heave, landing the book on a nearby table. An impressive amount of dust rose from its wake. The three students just about keeled over from coughing, but Madame Pomfrey took no notice as she started flipping through the book.

"Gender-bending, gender-stretching, AH! Gender-switching!"

Harry, Ron and Hermione all raised one eyebrow.

"You see, Mr.-Miss- er Ron," Madame Pomfrey stopped for a second. "By the way, you might want to consider a different name to go by. If I had the choice, I'd say a floral name is always a good way to go. Rose, Daisy, Petunia…"

"Moving on," Harry said, just a bit too sharply.

"Why would I need a new name?" Ron said. "Can't you change me back?"

"Um. No," Madame Pomfrey sighed. "You see, what happened is genetic."

"GENETIC?!"

"Yes. Right here. Very rare though. It only happens about every 100 years or so, but there you go!" Madame Pomfrey adjusted her glasses. "Ahem. 'Gender-switching is very rare, but very powerful. Only occurring once a century, and usually only to a pureblood whose family has had gender-switch before. Once switched, the change back to the original gender must happen naturally. Attempts to restore the gender pre-maturely will cause permanent malformations, such as…'" Madame Pomfrey closed the book.

"What? What malformations?"

"Let's just say that 'Itsy' is a horribly unfortunate nickname to live with," came the reply.

"So what does that mean? That we can't do a bloody thing?"

"Well, I wouldn't say that," Hermione giggled. "We can paint your toe nails, give you facials…"

"I'm sure Lavender would love to take you shopping," Harry cringed as Ron shot him a glare that screamed Avada Kedarva. "What? She probably would!"

"I'm sorry dear," Madame Pomfrey said, patting Ron on the back, "but I'm afraid you're stuck as a girl until your body decides to go back to normal."

Ron dropped his head into his hands and let out a groan. Of all the things to happen to a bloke…