Title: And Then There Was One
Summary: I heard a song, Red is the Rose by The High Kings, and it struck me as so beautifully tragic. This scene popped into my head, Ryan's thoughts and actions during his wife's funeral.
Genre: Angst/Tragedy
Characters: Ryan
Come over the hills, my bonnie Irish lass
Come over the hills to your darling
You choose the rose, love, and I'll make the vow
And I'll be your true love forever.
Ryan stood stoically as the casket slowly descended into the earth, as Jenny made her way to her final resting place. The stroke had come from nowhere; no warning, no way to prepare. They had put Devlin to sleep in his crib and watched his small form fall asleep, tiny arms and legs tucking in for the night. Walking hand in hand the two had slipped into their bed with whispered words of love and promises to see each other in the morning. While two went to sleep only one woke. Ryan had tried to wake her; shaken and yelled, cried and begged, but she never moved. Her eyes were closed and would never reopen.
Devlin shifted slightly in his arms but mostly stayed quiet and still, the palpable grief around him smothering his normally happy emotions. Ryan never moved from his spot, his eyes never strayed from the plot that sat void of earth. People gave their condolences and began to drift away, one by one going home to loved ones that were still alive. Empty words from people that he had never even met fell on deaf ears. Eventually only Castle, Beckett, and Esposito remained, no one willing to leave until Ryan did. They were the only ones that never gave fake comforts, the only ones that knew that words were just letters strung together that didn't do justice to any part of the situation.
Red is the rose that in yonder garden grows
Fair is the lily of the valley
Clear is the water that flows from the Boyne
But my love is fairer than any.
The first tear was small and silent, a barely visible droplet of pain that ran down his cheek and dripped onto the ground that now contained his love. Beckett had approached him slowly and gently took his son from his shaking arms while another tear fell. Everything was starting to hit, the reality that he would never see long flaxen hair again coupled with a bright smile and green eyes. He would never again get to touch skin soft as silk and fall to sleep to the voice of an angel.
A choked sob burst from his throat before he could stop it and when strong arms pulled him into a hug he finally let himself go. A horrible ache spread through him, an emptiness that would never be refilled. The ring still on his finger, which used to bring him joy now felt heavy and painful. It hurt to breath, it hurt to stand, it just hurt. The only thing keeping him from just collapsing were the arms of his partner who held him tightly while he too cried, both for the loss of a friend and the pain of another.
'Twas down by Killarney's green woods that we strayed
When the moon and the stars they were shining
The moon shone its rays on her locks of golden hair
And she swore she'd be my love forever.
No one tried to get him to leave when the sun began to set, it's glow drifting behind the cemetery trees and casting shadows across the few living souls still standing among the dead. Time had no meaning anymore, the sun rose and set but it would never bring another day with his wife. Blue eyes clouded with agony finally began to clear and without a word to the few who remained he collected his son and the two began to walk away towards an uncertain future. Black shoes moved slowly over the ground, every step more difficult than the last as his heart tugged in the other direction, his soul searching for it's lost mate. Instead of a pair only one set of footprints made imprints in the grass, one lonely set that would forever walk alone. It has been said that the most selfish thing one can do is mourn the death of a loved one. No amount of sadness or grief would make her return and he knew she would never want to be the cause of so much pain. Yet he couldn't help the tears that continued to fall, silently spattering against his sons black coat.
It's not for the parting that my sister pains
It's not for the grief of my mother
'Tis all for the loss of my bonny Irish lass
That my heart is breaking forever.
