Within a week, Kakashi has created a name for himself in all five of the elemental nations.
Huh. Kakashi is beyond proud of himself right now.
His famed name?
That Motherfucker.
Eh. Not the name he'd wanted but it'll do, because he's so prominently infamously obnoxiously—okay, he'll stop now—annoying, just by using the general term, that motherfucker, they'll know who they're talking about. Of course, he's also known by his second moniker, the Copy Nin, but that's far less often.
Of course, this is only amongst the shinobi ranks, because actually, the civilian parts of the shinobi world call him The Lifesaver.
Which is flattering and all, but Kakashi really has no idea where the hell that name comes from.
(It might have to do with the fact that he'd sent various shadow clones to do odd jobs for civilians over the week, and his fame might have spread like that. And he supposes they mean that he's a lifesaver in both the literal sense, and the sense that he does chores for a very low price.)
"It's that motherfucker! Get him!"
Kakashi blinks as a set of shinobi run down the streets of Konoha as he sets a crate of apples on the table for the owner of the stand. The owner smiles cheerfully at him. "Run along now, Lifesaver-san," she tells him. "Looks like the shinobi want to come and play."
"Ah, thanks," Kakashi responds, beaming. "How about once I shake these guys off, I come back and help you tomorrow?"
"That'd be wonderful."
"Well then, gotta run!"
Kakashi promptly flips the shinobi off before leading them on a merry chase through the streets of Konoha, much to the amusement of the civilian part of the village and much to the embarrassment of the shinobi part when they fail to catch him.
And then he stops at the Memorial Stone, and the shinobi surround him.
He beams and gives them a two fingered salute. "Well, that was fun! Ja ne!"
Kakashi poofs out of existence, proving that he'd been a Shadow Clone all along.
The curses of the shinobi can be heard all around Konoha as they head back to report.
The real Kakashi is sitting on the Hokage monument, laughing his ass off.
True to his word, he comes back the next day to help the stand owner, and she pays him extra. When he asks why, she laughs and says, "For an excellent show."
~oOo~
The Sandaime sighs and rubs his temples, reaching out for paper and pen.
"It is time," he says in a grave tone.
The ANBU exchange looks.
"It is time…" he repeats and glares at an ANBU expectantly. The ANBU sighs explosively before making a drumroll sound by rapping her fingers on the wall.
"…to pull out the big guns," the Sandaime announces, and writes that letter.
Once he's done, he hands it to Cheetah, his fastest ANBU, and he nods in understanding before disappearing silently.
Let's see how you evade both of them, Copy Nin.
~oOo~
Kakashi tosses the last of the trash out. "Is that it?" he calls from the back.
"Yeah," grunts the shop owner. "The pay's on the table."
Quickly Kakashi snatches the bag after washing his hands, heading outside of the shop. It's pretty late, and Kakashi thinks he could use some sleep when a familiar chakra signature appears, and Kakashi sighs explosively.
"Oh come on," he complains. "And here I thought I was going to get some sleep tonight! Come out, Jiraiya-sama, I know you're there."
Kakashi jumps out of the way just as a kunai lands where he'd been a moment before, and Jiraiya reveals his presence. Minato appears as well, right where the kunai is.
"That isn't fair!" Kakashi moans. "First of all, it's two on one! Second, I want to sleep! Third…" He smirks. "It's not unfair for me. It's unfair for you."
Kakashi leaps to the top of a building before running at a leisurely pace—at least, leisurely for him. He's the fucking Rokudaime Hokage, and these two won't even touch him because Minato isn't quite up to par with the Hokage yet, and Kakashi has about thirty odd years of genius and prodigy on them.
(Not to say that Minato isn't a genius or anything but honestly, Kakashi's older than him right now. So yeah, wayyy more time to practice.)
Kakashi proceeds to lead them on a wild goose chase all around Konoha, waking just about every ANBU and shinobi and about half the civilians while doing so.
Naturally, because he's so charismatic, the half-asleep civilians cheer him on, and he sees some of the shinobi and ANBU shaking their heads in amusement as Minato fucking Namikaze and Jiraiya of the Sannin chase a missing-nin who isn't even trying to hide his presence around Konoha.
And fail, duh.
Kakashi, having a stroke of genius inspired by a certain blonde student, pulls out his storage scroll and procures a bucket of rainbow paint and a huge ass brush before putting the scroll back, all without stopping.
Gradually he leads them to the Hokage Monument, and Kakashi smirks widely before latching himself onto the Shodaime's face and dipping the brush in paint.
He begins to run, chased by Minato and Jiraiya, laughing loud enough to be heard by the entire of Konoha. Kakashi makes random strokes here and there as he runs around. "You're vandalizing the Hokage Monument!" Minato all but screeches in horror.
By the time he's done, he's fresh out of paint, and he seals the bucket and the brush into the storage scroll again, smirking widely at his handiwork as he jumps down to join the civilians, followed closely by Jiraiya and Minato, who'd somehow managed to not ruin it.
The civilians and shinobi on the ground are laughing their asses off as Minato and Jiraiya stare at the monument uncomprehendingly.
Because Kakashi hadn't been making random strokes.
Written on the Hokage's faces in bright rainbow paint is:
"Run, run, run! As fast as you can! You can't catch me, 'cos I'm SHARINGAN NO KAKASHI, LOSERS!"
Kakashi gives them a two fingered salute, grinning widely before he poofs out of existence, telling them that they had been chasing around yet another shadow clone.
In the Hokage's office, the Sandaime swears in about twenty different languages.
~oOo~
a/n: Nope. Still not sorry at all.
Review, please? Ideas would be lovely.
REMEMBER: CRACK!
