I just wanted to say thank you to those of you who are reading my story. As this is my first time attempting to write one please bare with me. Please leave any feedback you may have for me. Mmm I'm not really sure what else to say. I hope you enjoy it! :D
Dear Journal,
Today has been one hell of a day. I felt like I was on an emotional roller coaster ride that was never going to end.
First, I could barely sleep last night. I just kept thinking about how awkward I was when I ran into Emerald yesterday. How stupid I must have looked just standing there not saying a word.
Ugh! I'm such an idiot.
It felt just like the first time we met in the hallway at was in a rush to get to class when she accidentally knocked me down.
My stuff went flying everywhere.
She bent down to helped me gather my things. After I got back up. She reached out her hand to introduce herself to me and apologize for knocking me down and like the idiot that I am, I just stood there looking at her not saying anything.
I just can't help myself. She has always had that effect on me.
I couldn't help but to also wonder why she was even back in town. Was she just here visiting? Did she decide to move back here? I just laid in bed looking at the piece of paper with her number on it. Contemplating whether I should call her or not.
When I finally got up out of bed to get dressed. I decided put on my new sun was sky blue with canary yellow flowers on it.I wanted to make sure I was nicely dressed today just in case i stepped out of the house and ended up running into Emerald again.
I didn't want to take any chances.
I went into the kitchen to get my morning coffee as usual. I must have been really jittery from the lack of sleep because the second my phone rang I jumped back a bit and spilled the coffee all over my new sun dress.
It was only Weiss. She was returning my call that I made to her late last night. She and I have been best friends since we were kids. I knew I could always count on her to help me get through anything and after my little "encounter" yesterday, I definitely needed to talk to her.I asked her to come by so I could tell her everything that happened.
I had to go change my clothes but since laundry day hasn't come yet, I ended up having to wear a pair of dark blue denim jeans with a plain white t-shirt.
After getting dressed for the second time. I sat down on my couch waiting for Weiss to get here. I was just thinking about how shitty my morning has been so far. But as I sat there looking out the window this sense of calmness pasted over me.
It was so beautiful out. The sun was shining brightly. I could hear the birds chirping away.I just sat there trying to take in all of its glory.
A few moments passed by before I heard a knock at the door.
It was Weiss.
She came and sat down on the couch next to me. As I was telling her what had happened yesterday. Out of nowhere she just busted out laughing at me! I wasn't exactly sure what it was that she found to be so amusing to her because I didn't find the scenario very funny at all. Actually, I was kinda mortified by it. But she obviously found it hysterical. She was laughing so hard tears started to fall from her icy-blue eyes. It took her a good five minutes to stop laughing. I was a bit taken back by her reaction.
Weiss had been there with me through my whole relationship with Emerald. She knows everything about it from the first moment we met, until the last day we ever spoke to each other. She knows how I get when I'm around Emerald. How my brain turns to mush and I get temporarily paralyzed. Which I guess is why she found it to be so funny.
After having our brief discussion about whether I should call Emerald. I decided I should call her. Weiss strongly advised me against it but I've always felt like I needed some type of closer and by talking to her I am hoping I can get it.
So I decided this was perfect time to call her.
It was now or never.
I left Weiss in the livingroom as I went into my bedroom to make the call in private.
I grabbed the piece of paper with her number on it that I had on my nightstand. Although I didn't really need it.I was up basically all night staring at it so I'm sure I probably know it by heart.I just wanted to make sure I didn't make any mistakes while dialing it.
I Picked up the phone and started to dial her.
At that moment the peaceful feeling I had started to disappear and fear started to replace it.
My heart was pounding so loudly. I swear Weiss could hear it from the other room.
With each touch of the phone, I could hear my breathing becoming louder and hands began to tremble. I thought to myself. "What am I doing? I would be a fool to call her."
Yet for some reason my heart kept telling me, Just do it. Call her.
I finally dialed the last digit of her phone number and hit the call button.
I was beyond scared. I still wasn't sure exactly what to say to her or what she would even say to me.I honestly hoped that she wouldn't pick up the phone so I didn't have to go through with actually talking to her.
The phone rang four times. As I went to hang up, I heard a voice on the other end. I swear my throat dropped into my stomach.
It was Emerald!
She sounded quite shocked that I actually called her. She told me that She had been waiting all morning for my phone call.
For the first few moments I didn't speak a word. Although I'm sure she heard my breathing. When I finally came around to speaking. I asked her the usual questions."H-how have you been? How is your family doing?" She seemed really short with her answers. Which is strange because that girl can talk for days about nothing. I knew something was bothering her.
I wouldn't feel comfortable asking her whats going on though. With our past and how we ended things I just didn't feel it would be my place to I just tried to keep the conversation going by ask her other I asked her what brought her back to town though, her answer was nothing I had expected.
She told me that I was the reason she came back to town. She said she has thought about me a lot the last couple of months and she missed me. She said she knew we parted ways in a rather horrible fashion but that she was sorry and she wanted to get together and talk about things.
I was floored by this!
Emerald was never one to apologize. She has only ever said she was sorry once and that was the first time we met when she knocked me down.
What was I suppose to say to that? Tears just started to flow down my cheeks. Weiss must have been spying on me trying to listen in to the conversation because next thing I knew she was walking in with a box of tissues in hand.
She sat down on the bed next to me. Tears were still pouring down my face so Weiss took the phone from me. She walked out of the room talking to Emerald. I don't know what she said to her but only about a minute passed before Weiss walked back into the room. You can tell she was upset by her facial expression.
I knew what she was thinking. She hated seeing me cry over Emerald. It upset Weiss every time I would get back with her because she knew she would have to be the one picking up the pieces after I got my heart broken again.
Weiss always tries to look out for me. Which I love her for that and although I know Weiss isn't going to like this one bit. I need to make a time to meet up with Emerald. I need to talk with her face to face. Hopefully get what I want to say out and make peace with everything that happened in the past.
So you see Journal,
Today hasn't been to kind to me. I am hoping for a better out come tomorrow. But we never know what the future may hold. So wish me luck!
