Customary and Metric

"...Yeah dude. Still not getting it." America said, rubbing his head so that pounding headache wouldn't knock him out. He sighed and muttered through gritted teeth. "You'll just have to tell me again."

Britain sighed and shook his head in sheer exasperation. "Again?" he said sharply. "I've already explained it to you five times!"

"Well, you'll just have to make it a sixth, 'cause you're not doing it well enough!" America affirmed, thrusting out his chin stubbornly. "Seriously dude, what the heck is the length of a kilometer anyway?"

"And how many feet does a bloody mile have anyway?" Britain challenged, eyes flashing in suppressed anger.

"...good point. But it's just so complicated," America whined, dropping his head onto the table with a dull thwack.

"How? You only move the decimal point to the prefix! If it's from a metre to a centimetre then you move the decimal two points to the right! Everyone knows this! Who uses customary units anyway?"

"Well, you did! And I was isolated-ish up until the 20th century! I have an excuse!"

"Not much of one since you're the world's cop nowadays," Britain remarked dryly. "Why don't you just get on with the times?"

"Don't you know how much money it takes to change all the measurements?" America threw up his arms in aggravation. "Besides, it'll take me forever!"

Britain took one long look at America. "...It's because you're too lazy, isn't it?"

"Money, dear Britain. Money."

"Find your own actors to quote," he said flatly.

"Fine." America said sullenly. He took a deep breath and yelled at the top of his lungs, "'BRITAIN IS A BAD COOK AND HIS SCONES WERE DUG OUT OF OLD COUCH STUFFING~'" he cracked, laughing at Britain's increasingly ruddy face.

"You bloody–" Britain sputtered, "–that's not a quote!"

"I'm America! Of course it's a–"

Britain lunged at America while the other danced away, chortling at England's face.

"Dude! I didn't know faces could get that color–"

"If you come over here, I'll make your face into colours that even an artist would envy!"

America sprinted out of the room, his obnoxious laugh echoing down the halls with Britain hot on his heels.


H/N: On December 23, 1975 the Metric Conversion Act was passed in the US Congress. This Act states that the US of A's official measurement units is (like the rest of the world) the metric system! Americans behaved the same way anyone else tries to force something on them: Ignoring it!