June 10, 2019
Dickie G again. If you are wondering why I'm calling myself that it's because Damian said not to.
Speaking of my little cherub, apparently I am doing everything wrong with this 'pathetic charade of a chronicle' so… yeah I'm gonna have to find a way to explain the difference between a 'chronicle' and a diary. Also, I need to specify that my dates are in American time, because Gotham is in America. Dami didn't think I was clear enough. Sorry if you live in Australia, I guess.
I should also tell you that I'm using two websites called ' ' and 'archive of our own', so sometimes you might see me answer questions that don't show up in the reviews. Can I say that it's really funny that me writing about myself is 'fanfiction'? I dunno, it's just really funny to me.
Alright, so also, it appears, I have to give you an 'accurate description of the most important thing in my life' which Damian has decided is Damian. So. Right now, Damian has Titus, Alfred, Batcow, Goliath and Franklin.
His best friends are Maya, Colin and Jon. He would like someone to lead a revolt against DC Comics for taking Colin out of continuity. I have to admit I am kind of disappointed in DC. Just because Colin got adopted and moved does not mean that he should stop existing.
Damian forgot that I have other siblings who are the most important in my life, but it's okay, 'cause I put them in anyway!
Jaybird is with the Outlaws right now, Artemis and Bizarro. Tim is with the Titans and before anyone asks he has already told me to not tell strangers about his 'relationship status'. :( Sometimes Timmy is no fun. Cass is off somewhere with Steph. I think they're in Korea right now. North or South, I am not sure. Babs is still Oracle, as much as her getting her legs back like in your comics would be great. Right now we're still dating.
So, today. Wally came over. It was pretty great, we did video games and crime fighting. Crime fighting with a meta in your city is pretty fun because the crooks freak out so much.
Flash and I (Wally and Barry are both Flash right now) are zipping around downtown, and badabing badaboom attempted house robbery. So we're not going crazy or anything, because they're just normal crooks. They've got some special tech, but a lot of Bludhaveners have those, and really they have no chance.
So they hop on these motorized scooter things and start scooting away, and one of them yells, and I quote: "No, no, no, this ain't fair! This ain't right! There ain't no metas here! Nightwing, what are you doing? This isn't his city! You send him back right now, Bludhaven doesn't want him! The people don't want him!"
And then there was some potty language.
Sometimes I wonder if our criminals have brain damage from being hit in the head. It might be the only thing that could explain being that dumb.
After warring on injustice and crime we went to get fast food. Specifically Night-wings. Those are chicken wings and they are delicious. Then we got ice cream and I got Superman and I can't remember everything Wally had because it was a lot. Eventually Wally had to head back to Central because Zodd was trying to take over the city with alien gorillas.
So that was pretty great. And now Damian wants to speak to you in a very respectful tone that befits a gentleman of upper society and human beings in general.
Greetings, miscreants! I am Damian Wayne and have bordered off my section of this chronicle so that you may not confuse it with my imbecile brother's. You should know that I will not be commonly addressing you as I do not have the time in my busy schedule, so savor this experience.
I first warn you to not take advantage of this opportunity to attempt to ensnare Nightwing into any manner of traps, including attempting to lure him to your world to capture him for the extraction of valuable information. You should also know that he does not make house calls, being an extremely busy and important man. So do not expect to see him arrive at your house or something.
Also, do not attempt to ensnare him in a relationship, particularly if you are a female in possession of red hair. Also do not attempt to convince him to take you in as a sibling. Grayson is already possessed of a far more than adequate sibling who is everything he could ever want, and that is myself. Even being a being from another dimension is not enough to tear him from me. I am not even worried about it. Not in any way, shape or measure. So do not try, I warn you.
You may return to your normal slightly stalkerish lives. I hope you are aware that your actions are only slightly less unsettling than Grayson's decision and publish a diary to civilians.
Wow, thanks Damian! That was… very interesting. You are very clear when you express your points. But you know that I'm never replacing you with anybody! :):):):):):):) I cannot make hearts with this format but if I could I would make 11, one for every year of your life. :) Here are 16 smiley faces instead. :):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)!
Grayson, that was completely unnecessary.
Hey, you said that you were only having one section! You are my adorable child. Fanforce, don't be offended by Dames or anything, my Dami is just kinda prickly sometimes. But he likes this diary thing: he can be popular without being followed by the paparazzi. On to Robin and You!
Robin and You
Just gonna let you guys know that I only put in the parts addressed to me, not DefenderoftheDogma. Putting in the not-mine parts would be like publishing someone else's mail! But Defender would like me to tell you that it is very much appreciated and loved and would like to say thank you!
forever 122 says: "I must agree, Damian is pretty adorable. Like just now, he made fun of you for writing in a diary but he wants in on it too.
*snickers* Oh my gosh, have you told him that to his face? "my baby is smol and innocent" He is pretty small though. According to my, trusty *hefts up large book* The DC Comics Encyclopedia, Damian is 4ft 6 in and ways 84 pounds. I wonder, is everyone in your family capable of lifting up Damian?
I am curious, how do you feel about people you have never met knowing pretty much everything about you? Did you explain Earth Prime to Damian? How does he feel about it if he does? I can just imagine Bruce trying to destroy the diary if he finds out. Is that how it works? How does this work? How are we communicating?!
You DO realize that we don't even have to look for your secret identity in a comic book here, right? We could just look it up on internet. Wait, I just re-read it. You mean if a villain comes here. Gotcha.
That sounds like a crazy night! But it also seems so very simple. Must of been kind of nice, not having to really do much. I bet your brain was working extra hard trying to figure how to handle everything though before everything kind of just came to a stand-still.
Yes, seatbelts are very important. Have you ever had problems getting your siblings to wear seatbelts? Did you ALWAYS wear a seatbelt as a kid? Wait a minute, are there even seatbelts in the batmobile?! How many people can the batmobile hold comfortably? Does everyone currently live in the manor?
Man, I had a lot more questions than I did last time. Sorry it's sort of long, I like to respond as I read. This is going to be so much fun!"
WOW. This is great! This is amazing! Oh, man, do you have questions and since I love answering questions, this is great! All right, first things first! I do tell Damian that he is adorable and that I love him. Sometimes he tells me to stop saying that, especially when we're in front of strangers, and I try to remember but he is very adorable so it is hard. I think he takes being small as an insult, but to be my smol boy is definitely a compliment and he will learn this eventually. I was a small child too, once. Acrobat stuff.
And, oh yeah, everyone here can pick up Damian. Once I held him up like Simba to show him to Wally and I'm not sure he's ever really forgiven me. I mean, like, Bluebird wouldn't be able to swing him around or anything, but it works. I mean, maybe not everyone, could, in practice, actually like, avoid the ninja stars and kicks and stuff and actually pick him up, but… y'know. In theory.
About y'all knowing everything about me… I guess being Bruce Wayne's kid has been good practice? I mean, no one gets hated like a rich kid, and most people over there seem to like me, so that's good. I think… there's a lot of stuff I don't want just anyone to know… but since the stuff you have isn't all right, that helps, I guess? I mean… there's just some stuff I want to be personal, you know? But it's great to have so many people accept me and love me even knowing so much… so it's a double edged sword, I'd say.
Damian knows about Earth Prime. So does pretty much everybody over here: it's where Superboy Prime came from, remember? There's kinda a weird lack of people doing anything about it, though. It might be kinda like the cold war. Like, if anyone starts using it against people then everyone's gonna go to town on each other and that would be… not good for pretty much anyone. So, it's kinda like that uncomfortable relative no one wants to talk about but can't be completely ignored, either.
As for how we're talking… computers and stuff use waves to transport their information. While the vibrations between universes usually keep this kind of thing from happening, I'm using some of the tech from Flash's cosmic treadmill and the Batcomputer to breach the gap and send the waves through to DefenderoftheDogma's google docs. DefenderoftheDogma then posts for me on both websites. Works pretty well.
I haven't really had that many problems getting siblings to wear seatbelts. I generally didn't take Jason places in cars when he was a kid, Tim was smart enough to wear them, and Damian isn't willing to take chances with his life since the world needs him so much. It's just his responsibility to be smart. And by now we all pretty much realize we could be attacked whenever so we wear seatbelts since no invulnerability. Pretty much everyone in Gotham always does. Supervillains make it a bigger deal here than there. Which is not to say it isn't important there! 3,287 deaths a day, forever 122. Stay safe. Stay alive.
Sometimes, though, when someone gets fear gassed or is just really cranky it can be hard. Or concussed. You try getting my precious Dami, an entitled obstinate child, to wear a seatbelt when he has a concussion. So hard.
I usually wore mine… I did in the Batmobile. Sometimes, though, I just kinda wanted to be freer. So… not often. But sometimes… I would rebel.
Batmobile definitely has seatbelts. Superstrong, form fitting neck protecting seatbelts. Waaaay to much jerking around for anything else. Actually, there's different levels of seatbelts depending on the car. Not everything needs to protect you from doing 300 miles per hour and flying. Which ties into how many people can it seat. Also depends on which batmobile. The first one only seated two. Since then we have a whoole bunch of sizes, so anything from two to six, although that's a little bit squeezy. You can fit more people in some batmobiles, but not comfortably.
As far as the manor goes… we don't all really live there, though that would be kinda nice. I live in Bludhaven, Jay moves around with the Outlaws, Tim pretty much lives with the Teen Titans, but he has an apartment in Gotham, Damian still lives with B, though. And Alfred, of course. And the pets.
We can crash over there whenever, but yeah. I think Tim's technically supposed to live there, but he and Damian don't get along the greatest. So. Not so much.
Man, this was great! Thanks for all the questions! I definitely look forward to seeing you again.
flyinggrayson says: Hi Dick! I really enjoy reading your diary so far! The Wing-Tip's are a nice touch, as well as the questions. I hope you keep writing, as you're very entertaining!
Now, I want to ask a question. How are your relationships with all the Robins and Batgirls? Hopefully they're doing well.
Thanks flyinggrayson! BTW, love your name! I can't make smiley faces with heart eyes, but you can imagine them for me. And thanks, I love the Wing-tips too! It's kinda like what I used to do as Robin… but you have a question!
So, Jay and I are doing way better. This is probably the best we've ever been. I actually visited his Outlaws and worked with them once (I think you call that one Red Hood and the Outlaws Annual #1.) That was pretty awesome. I think we're both pretty good with asking each other for help and we can send each other b-day gifts now! That got pretty crazy sometimes.
Tim and I are pretty much the same. I crash at his place sometimes and nag him to sleep and he does the same. We go out occasionally and do fun bro stuff. Dami is my cherub of light and sometimes one of us finds the other and we patrol or whatever. We call too. He sends me a picture of a cat every month. We are good.
Cass comes over sometimes and we watch movies or go to ballet recitals or drama clubs. We usually cook something together which sometimes turns out well and sometimes does not but it is always fun.
Babs is my beautiful girlfriend and I love her. We are good. We are wonderful. I may or may not… I dunno. Stuff may or may not develop. I will keep you posted.
Steph and I don't really do much together, but we grab waffles sometimes and she texts me about how awful school is and sometimes we grab Damian and do bouncy houses. Me and my batchildren are great!
FreakTale asks: "Hello nightwing, I sorry to ask this but better sooner than later.
How many people have "forced" you to have "relatio(r***)nship" with? Asking so I know how many will die earlier than their life expectancy may suggest :)
And please don't lie, your trauma is as valid as anyone else's"
Um. First of all this is the exact format I get your review in, um. Asterisks and all. It's actually kind of funny because my name always shows up as d***. That's funny. Um. Sooo. Wow. I've gotta say it looooks like you're asking how many times I got… raped… with a smiley face… and then told not to lie…
You people are kinda interesting.
But it is okay. Although you sound sort of like a supervillain threatening to kill my partners... (please take your writing tone under consideration, maybe?) umm… I am here to answer questions, so… I will. I guess.
So… I… it's very complicated. In one sense no one has 'forced' me to have a relationship, like drugs or hypnotism… okay. Tarantula was bad. I'm coming to terms with it. I am. And she did… force me. Because I wasn't at all in my right mind. I was sleep deprived and a mental wreck. In fact, I was almost catatonic. She forced me to 'have a relationship'. And that's not my fault. Because I couldn't do anything, I didn't want it, and I said no. And I will get over it.
Because it wasn't my fault. And I said no.
Ask Damian.
flyinggrayson queries: I do have one for Damian if he wants to respond as well. Which of your animals is your favorite, or do you love them all equally?
Of course I wish to respond! I have committed myself to this endeavour and shall follow through accordingly. Especially since you have decided to inquire as to my pets. You are a man of good taste. Back off, Grayson! Ugggh, you are so oversensitive. Fine. flyinggrayson, evidently, you are a man or woman of good taste and I should not assume your gender even though I was using a VERY COMMON PHRASE which includes the adult male form of a word. Grayson, stop it, you have already derailed my debut into your chronicle. This is sensitive speech to text and my hands are not available so go away and let me answer flyinggrayson's question.
*Pwhoosh* flyinggrayson. My love for my animals surpasses the bounds of both the english language and your imagination. There are no 'favorites' in regards to their worth. There are not larger and lesser degrees of infinity. Thank you for your question. I was glad to answer it.
Wing-tip!
If you are ever inside a burning building, check for a fire on the other side of a door by putting the back of your hand against the doorknob! That way, your fingers, which you'll probably need, will be fine, and if the knob is hot, you'll know not to go out that way: that's where the fire is!
