I could feel his eyes on me as I laid there. I knew it was at least two, I had only been asleep an hour at the least.

I didn't dare move. I could barley breath. I knew he knew I was awake and knew that he was there but wasn't going to make the first move. I sighed.

When I opened my eyes I could make out his stiletto leaning against the wall on the opposite side of the room his blue eyes boring into me with an astonishing amount of intensity.

"Why did you leave without telling me?" he asked so suddenly it made me jump slightly.

"I mean a goodbye would have been nice ya know," he said you could faintly hear a slight chock in his words. My eyes watered.

"I'm sorry," I said getting out of bed I could feel his eyes following me as I stood in front of him.

"You left me," he said staring in to my eyes.

"I was going to go there no matter what," I said stepping closer to him. He just stood there arms crossed and leaning against the window pane.

"Do you love me?" he asked obviously holding back a sob.

"More than anything," I promised. He gave me a look that sent a jolt straight to my heart. "You don't believe me, do you?" I asked, shocked.

He turned away from me, his face despairing, frustrated – in a harsh grimace that showed the struggle inside him more clearly than anything he'd said, anything he'd done over the past couple of years. Kailah – you're going to leave me, you always were. It's a fact of life. I don't – I don't deserve you. You deserve so much – so much better than I can ever give you, I heard in my mind, his thoughts poured into my head pouring through the air into my heart – where it almost shattered the fragile calm that lied there, the calm that was holding my heart together.

"Fuck that!" I shouted, stalking forwards, grabbing his shoulder and swinging him around so he'd have to face me. He stared down at me, and then realized I'd heard his thoughts, and his eyes flicked away from mine. Don't you dare ever think that? Don't you dare? I panted, trying to force the words out. He was everything to me. Everything. "Conner…" I almost begged, looking up into his face. All I want – is you. Always. Please…don't just – I didn't – I shook my head, the tears replacing my anger. "Only you, I didn't mean to hurt you, forgive me," I whispered, staring up into his electric blue eyes. "I love you," I whispered.

They were the only words I could speak, the only admission I could bear.

His eyes were dark with repressed emotion; his perfectly arched brows had a worried line over them. And I couldn't stand it. That look. Oh god.

"Please don't cry," he groaned, closing his eyes, his beautiful mouth twisting like he was holding back from tears of his own. Though it was Conner. He never, ever cried. He just gave you one of those heart breaking stares, and you'd die a little inside, knowing that you'd done that to him. Please don't give me that look. "I can't stand it when you cry," he said, opening his eyes slowly, and brushing a single tear off my cheek.

"Conner, I'm so so sorry…" I sobbed silently, one hand coming up to cover my mouth, the other spreading to curl around my stomach. I stepped back – away from him. I had to hold myself together. Have to be strong. He couldn't – I can't stand it. I never – he – I was never good enough for him, never, and now he knew it.

Conner moaned, and his hard arms came around me, pulling me against him. He bent a little, then grabbed my legs and picked me up. He kissed my eyelids, my nose, my eyebrows, my forehead, brushing his lips everywhere, feather-soft, until they came to the corner of my mouth. I had stopped breathing as soon as he touched me and now I just, I just hung there, dangling over a precipice, waiting. The dark waters threatened to swallow me whole, and I stared back into them, willing them to do so if he pulled back, if he just – I can't live without him. It's impossibility. My eyes were still closed, the warm tears tricking like silent prayers down my cheeks. Don't go. When his lips reached there, the left side of my mouth, he paused, and his breath exhaled a warm path across the skin of my cheek. He placed a tiny firm kiss to the edge, then trailed back up to my temple. He rested his cheek there, and I heard his gasps, his attempt to calm himself, and felt his hands clenching on my thighs, knowing he was trying to make himself let go of me. Oh no you don't.

My legs were around his waist, he was holding me up by the backs of my thighs, taking all my weight and standing there strong and unmovable – unchangeable. I hoped.

"Don't go. I won't let you." He growled.

I shoved my hands into his dark hair, wrenching his head by the hair until his mouth crashed into mine. He froze for a second, a single second in which I felt as though I would crumble into dust and wither away if he didn't respond, if he just pulled back and then he kissed me back.

As always we were desperate for each other, it hadn't changed, all this time. All this time I still ached with the intensity, still felt overwhelmed and frantic and like I'd die unless I had him now, unless I could have him inside me, all around me, everywhere until I couldn't see, couldn't think, couldn't breathe without him. I needed him so much and I wanted him so badly, and these words were useless to convey the depth and I just know that if he ever leaves... If I couldn't have him, I knew my soul would just crawl into a dark hole and shrivel away until I was a shell of a person, incomplete, dead inside. Without him. He was everything that completed me, that held me together, that allowed me to exist.

I grabbed his lower lip with my teeth and bit down on it until he moaned, his short, square nails digging into my thighs. It was a clear message – Don't you dare leave me again.

I let go of his lip, slanting my head so I could soothe it with a softer kiss. I was in total control of this interaction seeing as how his hands were busy, and his attention was on keeping us up. And he knew it.

I moved my hands closer to his face, dragging my palms through his short, absurdly soft hair, and stroked the corners of his eyes with my thumbs. I love you.

My hands clenched in his hair again. I need you.

We'd always talked so much better with our bodies than our words, and as he fell forwards onto the bed, me still wrapped around him, we told each other just how we felt.

His hands claiming my breasts, as he stole the air out of my mouth – you are mine.

My legs tightening on his waist as he thrust, still fully clothed, against me – as you are mine.

His hands lifting me from beneath my back, bending me over his arms, and crushing me even closer to his chest as he deepened the kiss – I need you. My nails digging into the hard muscles of his shoulders, trailing over his back, as I panted, struggling to breathe against his lips – oh god yes. His hands floated under my shirt and he pulled away from the kiss to peel my shirt off over my head. My shirt and bra quickly started a pile of cloths on the floor, his shirt joined them soon. I moaned and undid the button on his pants. He helped me slid him out of them. My shorts were off not a second later. Conner was enjoying kissing down my stomach as he slid off my underwear.

We franticly undressed each other, and suddenly there were no barriers and he thrust again and I welcomed him inside me, clenching until he froze and just looked down at me, and I up at him.

There was always that eternal moment as soon as he entered me; we still couldn't quite believe the completion, the total sense of oneness that overtook us when we were connected like this – as though we were one entity, as we were in everything else.

Everything else we could never express in any way but this.

Then he was moving again and it was all breathlessness and heat and murmurs of 'I love you', and desperate cries of 'don't leave me' and him kissing the tears away from my cheeks. And I just clung to him and cried and tried not to think, because if he ever left me I wouldn't survive and he knew that.

"Never," he grunted fiercely, stilling. His hard, heavy body lay poised against mine, and I could feel the tension radiating off of him. In contrast my body was molten, soft and pliable and malleable. I was melting. "Kailah, look at me –" he struggled to get his voice past his desire thickened throat. It was harsh and hard and commanding, and I sobbed, opening my eyes, to see him looking down at me. His eyes were ablaze with everything he was keeping in, and his face was tight and impassive with the control he was trying to keep over his body. "I will never, ever leave you. If you promise me – if you promise –" a nerve in his jaw jumped and his eyes closed, as he struggled to get the words out.

"I promise," I whispered, knowing exactly what he meant. If you promise not to leave me too. I removed my hand from his shoulder to glide down his face and pressed a finger against the corner of his jaw. "You're too hard to get rid of."

I wrapped my arms around Conner's neck knotting my fingers in his hair as he kissed me deeply. His hands were on my hips, I arched my back and pressed my flat stomach into his body, I pressed my chest into his enjoying the feeling of our bodies together as he kissed the base of my neck hungrily. I wriggled under him so I could reach his shoulders and slid them up his perfect body; I looked up and meet Conner's blue eyes. Conner flipped us over so I was straddling him.

Conner's hands reached up and moved across my breasts slowly down to my hips, I placed my hands on his chest and moved up and down his body, Conner moaned in Ecstasy.

I dropped myself onto him roughly. He closed his eyes and moaned, slowly I started moving around, my eyes closed and I put my hands on his chest again. Soft moans escaped my lips as the sensation filled my body. I could hear Conner moaning also, His hands moved onto my hips and he moved me rougher and faster.

I was almost screaming now, moaning his name, my stomach muscles clenched and I opened my eyes at the beautiful sight below me. Conner was moaning his eyes were watching me as he moved me eagerly and roughly.

Suddenly he flipped us over. I was on the bottom and my legs were still wrapped around his waist, his hands were still on my hips so he was lying on top of me. He thrust into me roughly again and again.

We both grunted and moaned, his thrusts got faster and more powerful and his hands moved from my hips to laying his forearms next to my sides supporting himself more. I grabbed onto his shoulders and let him push himself deeper inside me.

I was getting so close, Conner moaned my name, I could feel his heavy breathing on my neck and I screamed his name pushing my head back into the pillow and my chest into his body. As I climaxed my walls tightened around Conner, he kept pushing himself into me. I screamed his name again and again as the ecstasy pulsed through me.

I writhed and wriggled beneath him and he moved his hands back to my hips resting his head on my shoulder and thrusting as he also moaned loudly. He moved faster and faster, I came again pushing my waist towards his and latching on to him tighter.

His thrusts slowed and he collapsed on top of me, still inside me. He kissed my shoulder, my breast. Then looked up at me and smiled a smug crooked smile. I grinned back yawning.

"Sleep my love, but remember you will always be mine," he growled lightly but forcefully kissing my bruised lips.

"Alway's, I love you," I whispered putting my head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around me.

"I love you too Kai's," he whispered kissing my fore head softly.

I drifted to sleep listening to the soft rhythm of Conner's heart beat thumping under my head.