I don't own the Office or any of its characters.

Warning: mentions of sexual assault, assault and battery, physical and verbal abuse

It takes an extraordinary amount of willpower to keep from crying on my drive to work, but I know if I do my concealer will disappear and then what was the point of any of this? I haven't felt this sad since I realized I loved Jim and then saw him and Karen together. This time might actually be worse because I know that I'm the reason he's hurting. If I just hadn't said those stupid words—

I end up having to repair my face a little in my visor mirror before I walk into work. My eyes are red from crying but I don't really care at this point. I just have to talk to Amy. Unfortunately the phone is already ringing by the time I walk in and I'm stuck at my desk for a good half hour dealing with an unprecedented amount of calls this early in the morning. Seriously, the one day I need to not be busy, I'm swamped?

I rap lightly on Michael's door and tell him Jim is running late. He lifts his head, eyes shining like he's going to make a joke, but he stops when he sees my face. I must look pretty rough to bring a Michael Scott joke to a halt. I think he knows it's finally out.

Amy and Keith are in the conference room discussing the shoot for that day. I force a small smile as I walk in. "Hey, do you guys have a moment?"

"Of course, Pam," Amy says kindly, gesturing for me to sit while Keith goes to shut the door behind me before sitting down next to her. "What's up?"

I swallow hard, tears rushing to my eyes suddenly and almost breaking me. I close my eyes for a moment and take in a shuddering breath. "Jim wants to see…my testimony."

Keith's brow furrows. "I thought you didn't want him to know."

I shrug sadly. "I got a black eye playing volleyball yesterday and this morning it just…slipped out, it was so stupid…" We're quiet for a few seconds and I exhale softly. "So is there any way I could get a copy?"

Keith nods quickly. "I have everything on my laptop, so I can get it to you within the hour if you want."

"That'd be great," I reply, a tiny smile of relief appearing.

I'm about to continue when there's a knock on the door and Jim sticks his head in. He studies the three of us for a moment before walking in and shutting the door behind him, coming to sit next to me. I want to cry just from looking at him. His eyes are bloodshot and he looks so sad and tired. I want to take away all the pain in those eyes. Only problem is, I'm the one who put it there.

"Jim," Amy says finally, "Keith was just telling Pam that he can get the video to her within the hour. I don't mean to interfere, but maybe it would be best for the two of you to take the rest of the day off and talk about this."

"Don't want to interfere?!" Jim spits out, startling all of us with the sudden outburst. "You've been interfering long before this, Amy. You guys knew how much I loved her, you knew I hated Roy! How could you keep this kind of thing from me?!"

Amy takes a deep breath but looks relatively unfazed. I guess we've all snapped at her enough that she's used to it by now. "We were respecting Pam's wishes, Jim. She specifically requested that this be kept quiet from everyone in the office, especially you. Additionally, we just film portions of your lives as impartial observers. We don't try to orchestrate events so things will work out the way we want."

He still looks angry, but I can tell that Amy's gentle, calming tone is soothing Jim's shot nerves. I want to reach out and hold his hand, which is fidgeting restlessly on top of the table, but I don't want Amy and Keith to see him push me away. I can only imagine the thoughts that are racing through his head; I'll be surprised when he touches me again willingly.

We're all quiet for a good, long minute before Keith stands. "I'll go get started." Amy nods and watches him leave before facing us again.

"Amy, can you go get Michael and Dwight?" Jim asks softly. She nods and starts to stand.

"Jim," I gasp out, halting Amy. He hasn't looked at me this whole time, but now he does and I hate the look in his eyes because he looks like he wants to keep me safe, wants to protect me, but he knows now that there were times when he wasn't there. I gasp in a breath. "I just…I want you to watch the video first, before you talk to them. I would just…like to not destroy our friendships on the same day that I've destroyed our relationship."

Within the next second Jim has hauled me into his arms, the armrest of my chair pressing painfully into my middle, and Amy is out the door, seeming to recognize we need some time alone. "It's not destroyed, Pam," Jim chokes out. "I love you. I love you even more than I hate Roy, which is saying a lot right now."

My laugh is wet with tears and muffled into his shoulder, but I can feel the small smile from where his mouth is pressed against my forehead. He pulls away from me gently and looks into my eyes. "We're going to get past this, Pam, just like we've gotten past so much other crap. There's…a lot we need to work through, but I agree with you. Watching that video is the first thing to do."

I sniff and wipe at my eye, registering the pain a moment later. I see him cringe as he looks at me, and I glance down to see concealer on my hand. That's just great.

"Was it this bad?"

Jim's broken voice interrupts my train of thoughts and I look up to see him studying my eye critically, his shoulders tense like he really doesn't want to hear the answer. I steel myself to answer honestly, because this isn't the place for lies anymore. I need to be brutally honest with him. "Worse," I whisper. "You'll…see it."

He blanches and drops his head. "I hate this," he whispers. "All I ever wanted was for you to be happy."

"I'm happy now," I reply, my voice soft but firm as I squeeze his hand. "That's all that matters."

He lets out a shaky sigh and a tear drips onto the back of my hand. I swallow hard, willing myself to keep it together for him. "Let's just stay in here until Keith's ready, and then we can leave," I offer quietly.

"Okay," Jim says, raising his eyes to meet mine briefly. "Michael…"

"I'll go talk to him," I say, standing before he can argue. Jim is completely overwhelmed right now. If there's anything I can do to lift some of the burden, I will. "Give me just a minute."

I barge right into Michael's office, hoping to God he's not naked, but if anyone else sees my eye it'll just open up another can of worms. Thankfully he's just sitting at his desk signing some documents. He glances up when I enter and his welcoming smile fades when he sees my eye. "Pam, what the hell?"

"I'm fine," I say softly, shutting the door quickly behind me. I pause for a moment, unsure of what to say. "Jim and I were playing volleyball with some friends yesterday… Is it alright if we take the rest of the day off?"

"Yeah," Michael agrees immediately, standing up and coming over to me, touching my arm gently. "Absolutely. Take tomorrow too if you want. How is he?"

"He's…really angry. At Roy, at me, at…you and everyone else who knew."

He nods solemnly. "Well I can talk to him if you want—"

I shake my head quickly. "We're going to go home and he's going to watch the video of my testimony. After that I have a feeling he'll want to talk but…just not today."

"I understand," Michael assures. "Just…let me know if you guys need anything. I'll stay out of your way 'til you leave."

"Thank you," I whisper, my voice cracking on the last word. "For everything, Michael, I never thanked you—"

He pulls me gently into his arms as I let out a sob. "You're the last person in the world I ever want to see hurt, Pamela Beesly-someday-Halpert." I let out a short laugh. "There are absolutely no thanks necessary."

I pull away and wipe at my eyes, at this point not caring anymore about my concealer. Michael cringes, just like Jim did when he saw me. "We'll let you know if we're coming in tomorrow," I say hastily, anxious to go see if Keith's done and get out of this office.

Michael nods. "Alright, Pam. I'll check if the coast is clear." He opens the door and glances around quickly. "Stanley's still out there…" He looks back at me. "I'll go talk to him, block his view."

"Thanks, Michael," I whisper, unclipping my hair and brushing it across my face as an extra precaution. We step out quickly, Michael going to enthusiastically ask Stanley how his weekend was and me sneaking back to the conference room.


I'm alone in the conference room while Pam goes to talk to Michael, still trying to wrap my mind around this whole awful day, when Amy comes back in. She sits across the table from me and slides a disc across until it's in front of me.

"What's this?" I ask, picking it up. My mouth goes dry at the simple label in Toby's hand writing: "Roy/Pam Assault". Three words to sum up what is potentially the worst thing that's ever happened to Pam, or to me.

"It's the security video that was shown at Roy's trial," Amy explains. "I don't know if Pam's ever seen it but—"

We're interrupted when the door opens and we both turn to see Pam. Amy waits for her to sit down next to me before continuing. "Pam," Amy begins gently, gesturing to the disc in front of me, "I got a copy of the security video of that day from Toby. I just want you both to have…as much information as possible so you can discuss everything you need to. Of course it's up to both of you whether or not you want to watch it."

Pam is pale as she looks down at the disc, and I gently take her hand and squeeze it. The gesture seems to snap her out of her trance. She smiles briefly at me before looking at Amy. "I—I've never seen it."

Amy nods. "I didn't know if you had. And you don't have to watch it if you don't want to. Toby doesn't need it back—he has another copy. So you can watch it, throw it away, burn it…it's up to you guys."

Pam offers her a small smile. "Thanks, Amy. For…everything."

"Of course," Amy replies quietly, giving us both a genuine smile. "I really do care about you both, even if sometimes it seems like I'm just here for the job. I'm here for you guys too." She stands and gestures to the door. "I'm going to go see how Keith's coming along."

"Thanks," I say softly as she leaves, and Pam and I are quiet for a moment after the door closes. I take a deep breath and look at her. "How long after…did they film your testimony?"

She thinks about this for a moment. "Well, right after it happened I went to the police station and I was interviewed. They took pictures of…my injuries, and that afternoon I got in contact with a lawyer. I happened to mention the documentary and he asked that, if it wasn't too much trouble, they film my testimony in full, just so it was on record. It happened on Monday, so I guess it must have been Thursday afternoon that Amy and Keith came to my apartment. Michael and Toby came that morning too, to help me fill out the report." She grimaces. "That was…the day I looked the worst. I just want you to be prepared."

I reach up and gently touch the bruise around her eye, soft enough that it doesn't hurt her. "Nothing can prepare me for this, Pam." I stroke her cheek with the back of my finger before taking her hand again. "Did Amy have…a list of questions or something?"

Pam shakes her head. "She just told me to talk until I felt like I'd said everything. I had a list of things my lawyer had requested I include, just so everything needed for the trial would be there. I ended up talking about a lot more than just that day…I guess I was just happy to finally be able to talk about everything."

I feel nauseous at the fact that any of this ever happened at all, much less that she had to relive it by talking about it and was grateful to be able to, but I try to smile. "That's…good. I'm glad you were able to talk about it. You know you can…always talk to me."

Pam nods and looks me right in the eye, holding my gaze. "I want to say something, before the video, before…anything else." She glances down at our clasped hands for a moment and takes a deep breath before looking up again. "I knew, once we started dating, that eventually the time would come when I would tell you about this. I've been wanting to for awhile now, because I love you and I trust you completely. I just…I had no idea how to do it. I mean, how do you even bring something like that up? But I just want to get it out there and say that, even though this day has been awful, and it's not really going to get any better, I'm sort of glad I slipped and told you. Because what we have is built on being open and…honest with each other." Her eyes are shiny with tears and she purses her lips. "I never wanted you to know but…I realize that you need to know."

I squeeze her hand and lift it to press my lips to her palm. "I do. But Pam, this is only going to bring us closer together."

She doesn't respond verbally, but I can see the relief in her eyes. "I know, Jim. I really, really want that."

Just then there's a light tap on the door and Keith comes in, shutting the door behind him. He holds up a disc and Pam and I both stand. "Here it is," he says, handing the DVD to Pam. "Amy's gathering everyone in the kitchen to talk about cleaning the microwave."

I smirk. "That was the best you guys could come up with?"

Keith chuckles. "We figured you guys have meetings about stupid things all the time, so this wouldn't be anything out of the ordinary."

Pam lets out a quiet laugh, and my heart leaps to see her smile genuinely after seeing her eyes sad for so long. "That sounds about right."

Keith opens the door and glances out before turning and giving us a thumbs up. "Looks like the coast is clear. Let me or Amy know if you guys need anything, our numbers are on the back of the CD case." He nods and slips out.

"Ready?" I ask, walking to the door and gently leading Pam by the hand.

She nods and arranges her hair over her eye. We slip out, thankfully not running into any of our coworkers, and quickly gather our things before walking to the elevator. I let out a long breath as the doors close and squeeze Pam's hand, trying to mentally prepare myself for the worst part of this horrible day.