CHAPTER 2: the ice

"daddy; tell us more!" said Hayley

"yeah- tell us!" said Josh

"fine." said Matt

His wife entered.

"what story tonight?" Rachel asked

"the story of the ice storm."

"damn that was..."

"25 years ago."

"your mother and I had just found out about..."

They ventered forth.

They got to the hotel all right.

Later that night they herd cracking. Finn thought it was Quinn doing Mercedes. Will thought it was Matt and Rachel having "fun". Matt thought it was Emma trying to get herself off to lesbian porn. But it was none of those.

It was the ice.

At about three AM Matt knocked on Will and Emma's room to find Quinn and Emma having sex.

"the ice. it's freezing. Get in the truck." he said

He found similar things happening at every room; but they all got in the truck.

The truck sped down the road. Right as they got out of the path of the tree: a loud CRACK was herd and the tree fell down on the hotel.

"ok- what the fuck do we do?" asked Emma

"get somewhere and wait. If we ever should seperate and you need help; just say: DAMN YOU GOD OF KNOCK-UPS!" said vMatt

"ok..." they all said

Suddenly- a 10 foot tall tree came on the road.

They had no choice. They had to run.

They ran many miles to the house.

They closed the door- only to find that the roof was going to cave in.

"head to the basement!" Will yelled

They all go down there. But Quinn had this look in her eyes; like she was going to kill someone.

She started to slit herself with a kinfe- but Matt took it away.

"THERE WILL BE NO FUCKING FUNERALS ON MY WATCH!" he yelled

He noticed that Quinn seemed to be pushing something out of her anus.

"wait- no wait- that's crap- no wait THAT'S A FUCKING BABY COVERED IN CRAP!"

So he was able to save Quinn but not the kid.

The took a knife and slit Puck's neck; who then slit her neck.

The first two deaths.

"if we make it out alive... Matt- you're in."

"thank you. BUT WATCH OUT!"

He moved Will out of the way... But he herd these voices.

MAUREEN
It's times like these I really appreciate - Mark! Dear, I'm so glad
you're here! Honey, baby! You've lost some weight...I mean you've
always looked great.

MARK
I try Maureen.

MAUREEN
Back when we used to date.

MARK
You lie Maureen.

MAREEN
Now let's not get irate.

MARK
Why Maureen?

MAUREEN
Joanne ran for the cable but of course she's late.

MARK
I don't know why I even try Maureen.

MAUREEN
My samples won't delay, but the cable...

MARK
There's another way! Say something, anything!

MAUREEN
Test 1-2-1-2-3

MARK
Anything but that. Tell me what it's like

MAUREEN
What?

MARK
With a girl - tell me what it's like for a girl and a girl.

MAUREEN
No way!

MARK
Tell me - or I walk away.

MAUREEN
It's amazing!

MARK
Who's on top? Who wears the pants? Who leads when you dance? Give me
one more chance Maureen! This is just a phase like girls and horses!
And you never even wore flannel shirts! You'll get over it!

MAUREEN
How's it going?

MARK
Not good - I'm depressed.

MAUREEN
I meant the sampler.

MARK
I'm adapting - repatching!

MAUREEN
Thank God! You're the best!

MARK
Ha!

MAUREEN
Don't be depressed! Tell me how you've been!

MARK
Why?

MAUREEN
Cause I care - tell me how you've been! God time flies!

MARK
Don't patronize!

MAUREEN
Tell me! We used to be friends!

MARK
I'm lonely, bored, and horny!!!

MAUREEN
Is there no one new? You need a mate! It's not too late! Have you even
had one date?
Boy, you just need some time then you'll be fine Mark! Anyway! I
treated you like dirt. You'll get over it! Just remember what you
hate about me! Though it may be hard.

MARK
How can you be so content without me? How can you disregard all we
had?

MAUREEN
Dysfunction!

MARK
All we said?

MAUREEN
I'm over men!

MARK
All we did!

MAUREEN
I slept around!

MARK
And you will again! Tell me what you'll do!

MAUREEN
When?

MARK
When you're bored! Tell me what you'll do when you tire of girls!

MAUREEN
I wont!

MARK
I'll tell you - you'll run back to me!

MAUREEN
Your fantasy!

MARK
You always do!

MAUREEN
Don't hold your breath!

MARK
I know your kind! Always change your mind!

MAUREEN
Don't be so blind! Can't you see? All my life I've known who I was
meant to be!

MARK
But you never even liked KD Lang!

MAUREEN/MARK
You'll get over it!

MARK
This is just a fad that will fade! You'll get over it!

MAUREEN
You just need to get laid! You'll get over it! In time we'll laugh
about this! You'll get over it!

MARK
In time you'll beg for my kiss!

MAUREEN
Don't bet on it!

MARK
Try it now!

MAUREEN
You'll get over it!

("You'll get over it" echoes)

Grrr!

MARK
I call this cause for hope!

MAUREEN
I would call this platonic - don't grope!!! Honey! You're back! Uh - we're patched.

But the voices were Quinn and Puck.

"wow. they sang a song from rent's 1994 workshop!" said Emma

Quinn stumbled back with Puck.

She pulled Emma aside.

ANGEL
Alone at last...

COLLINS
He'll be back, I guarantee.

ANGEL
I've been hearing violins all night!

COLLINS
Anything to do with me? Are we a thing?

ANGEL
Darling... we're everything!

Live in my house
I'll be your shelter
Just pay me back
With one thousand kisses
Be my lover -- I'll cover you

COLLINS
Open your door
I'll be your tenant
Don't got much baggage
To lay at your feet
But sweet kisses I've got to spare
I'll be there -- I'll cover you

BOTH
I think they meant it
When they said you can't buy love
Now I know you can rent it
A new lease you are, my love,
On life -- be my life

(They do a short dance.)

Just slip me on
I'll be your blanket
Wherever -- whatever -- I'll be your coat

ANGEL
You'll be my king
And I'll be your castle

COLLINS
No you'll be my queen
And I'll be your moat

BOTH
I think they meant it
When they said you can't buy love
Now I know you can rent it
A new lease you are, my love,
On life -- all my life

I've longed to discover
Something as true as this is

COLLINS
So with a thousand
sweet kisses
I'll cover you
With a thousand sweet kisses
I'll cover you

When you're worn
out and tired

When your heart has expired
ANGEL

If you're cold
And you're lonely

You've got one nickel only
With a thousand sweet kisses
I'll cover you

With a thousand sweet kisses
I'll cover you

BOTH
Oh lover I'll cover you
Oh lover I'll cover you

"what the hell? my wife having a lesbian affair... WITH MY STUDENT!" said Will

"chill. it's not like Quinns got a dick along with the usual." said Matt

"she does." said Puck

"and... well; is it...um...good?" asked Matt

"It's a hell of a lot better then other girls." said Puck

"and so you admit that you procreated with her?"

"yes."

"dude."

"she...you..Emma?"

"at the same time."

"oh my god. Will is going to be so FUCKING PISSED!"

Will walked over.

"Matt- did Puck admit that my wife had sex with my student and him?" asked Will

Matt looked at Puck.

"yes he did."

"oh god."

"so what now?"

"I guess... we'll talk about it and try to survive."

"ok. BTW: I need you to kill someone."

"who?"

"the fetus the lesbian delivered."

"why?"

"it's complited"
But Will insted looked upon Quinn and Emma's make out.

"Daddy? why are there lesbians in the story?" asked Hayley

"just because there were" said Rachel

"ok kids- bed. More tomorrow." said Matt