Addicted

Chapter Two

I felt the wind around my face, cradling me as I fell. When I imagined this moment, I thought it would be like a roller coaster, that I would be screaming. It's the exact opposite; I'm at peace, I'm smiling, I'm happy. Something grabbed onto the the back of my robes and arms wrapped around me. As easy as falling asleep, Sirius was right. The arms made me feel safe, they made me feel at home. I breathed deeply, the breath felt amazing in my lungs; my angel smelled just like a love potion. I wrapped my arms around the angel, hugging it back; it's taking me to heaven. Suddenly we hit the ground. I heard sounds from under me; I was on top of somebody. I opened my eyes to see Draco Malfoy under me.

"Get off Potter." he groaned out and I rolled over. Breathing was much harder now, there was a weight on my chest. I felt myself shaking, tears were running down my face.

"You like to ruin my life at every bloody turn, don't you!" I yelled. "Isn't this your number one wish, a dead Harry Potter? It would have made your life a lot easier."

"I just saved your life Potter and you're yelling at me." he yelled back, standing up. " You should say Thank you, Draco, for being such a saviour."

"I wanted to die." I shot back. " I have nothing to thank you for. Just another reason to hate you." I stood up then. "Gods I hate you!" I yelled. "Leave me alone, let me die Draco." I begged. "Please, pretend this didn't happen, go somewhere, talk to people; they wont know you were even here. I'll jump again, no one will know." I said quietly. I could still feel tears running down my face. "Please!" I sobbed out. "I just want to die, I want all this to end."

"You selfish bastard! You never think of anyone but yourself do you?" he questioned, his eyes trying to look for answer.

" I don't know what you mean."

"Think about the person who has to find your body crumpled on the pavement. Every time they close their eyes they'll see you, your dead body on the ground covered in blood. Think about your friends, when they get told you killed yourself, you selfishly jumped of the Astronomy Tower. Think of how they'll blame themselves for the rest of their lives, for not seeing it, for not following you. About how confused they'll be, how Hermione will analyse every conversation she's had with you and how she should have said something different, that its her fault. Think of how Ronald will blame himself for not being a good enough friend, for not being there enough when you needed it. How it will kill them on the inside because its their fault. Even though you'll be the one to blame for being so bloody selfish, for being so cowardly like a Hufflepuff. Think about Mrs. Weasley who's already lost one son; I'm sure she didn't react nicely to losing the first one. Think about George losing another brother; everyone knows how hard that was for him. Think about the Headmistress who will blame herself for forcing you to come here. Think about the rest of the bloody wizarding world who will be lost without their precious saviour; people would mourn you for the rest of their lives, people who didn't even know you but owe their life to you. Potter, just think about one person other than yourself." He yelled at me, his eyes tearing. " Believe me Potter I know." He then did the most surprising thing of all; he grabbed me into a bone crushing hug. I hadn't realized until now that I was out right sobbing. " I know we've never been friends Pot- Harry, but I was serious in there when I shook your hand. I'm here for you, I'll help you." he whispered in my ear, his voice cracking. I don't know how long we stood there my tears soaking his shoulder.

"Harry, Come on lets go talk to Ron and Hermione." he said quietly taking my arm in his.

"Don't tell them!" I cried out. "Please don't."

"Harry I have to; you'll be glad I did. You need help from more than one person Harry. It takes a lot to heal." he said sadly.

"I'll tell them that you're lying!" I shouted getting irrationally angry. "They'll believe me over you any day. I'll tell them you pushed me . They'll send you to Azkaban. Your life will be ruined!" I spat out.

"They would be idiots to believe you. They're idiots for not seeing this, your eyes, they're so dead Harry." His voice was quiet at the end. "Its okay to not be okay sometimes; you've been through so much. Please, just trust me. I'll let you tell them, I'll stand there and support you. Come on Harry." he said taking my arm again.

This time I let him lead me to them; we walked extremely slow. I don't know if it was me or if Draco realized I need to do this slowly. We stopped in front of a portrait of a man in broken armour, I laughed bitterly, the irony being lost on Draco who was looking at me like I was crazy. He said a password "Unity." The portrait swung in, Draco stepping inside first, dragging me with him. We were in a common room. It was a mix of all the houses' colours.

"Harry?" came the timid voice of Hermione from the corner, Ron stood up from beside her.

"Mate, what's wrong?" he said coming close; that's when he noticed Draco at my side, we were shoulder to shoulder I could feel his muscles tense. " What the bloody hell did you do to him, Ferret?" Ron questioned getting closer to Draco, his face turning red.

" He didn't do anything Ron. Please, could we all go somewhere private?" I questioned looking right into Ron's eyes. I hadn't actually looked at him in months I saw his eyes widen he saw it the lack of light in mine. He nodded grabbing Hermione's hand, they followed behind Draco and myself. Draco leading the way to his room; I had no idea where mine was. We walked into his room, I looked out the window he had a direct view of the Astronomy Tower, he had seen me and had come running.

"Please take a seat." he suggested to Hermione and Ron, pointing to a love seat. He took my arm and lead me in front of the fire; Hermione and Ron taking the seats in front of me.

We all stared at each other before Ron cleared his throat, "Harry what do you want to tell us?" he questioned.

I took a deep breath, "Draco, here he," I paused, "he just saved my life."

"What do you mean?" Hermione questioned.

"Just please listen ,no questions." I said, waiting for them to both nod;it took Hermione a little longer to agree. "I jumped off the Astronomy Tower with the intention of killing myself." I said closing my eyes; I heard two distinct sharp intakes of breath. "I'm so dead on the inside, I'm so ready to give up. This summer I was able to pretend to be happy, like I wasn't ready to give up. But coming here is so hard, it makes me want to give up and join all the people who have died. I just don't want to be in pain anymore; I want to be happy and I think the only way to do that, to be happy, is to die." I choked out. I finally opened my eyes both Hermione and Ron were crying. Hermione jumped up from the love seat, running at me; her arms wrapped around me.

"Don't give up Harry. I know that life can be hard and feel like it's not worth living; but it is, every time you smile it's worth it. Harry I can't be happy without you. You're my brother, Harry; I love you so much. You can be happy, it will get better. I know it's hard right now, but we will help you Harry . We will make you happy. Please don't give up." She was sobbing at the end, holding on to me for dear life. "I love you." She said again kissing me on the cheek, her arms still wrapped around me.

"Harry, mate. I can't lose another brother." Ron choked out, joining us in a hug. I could feel him shaking, his shoulders going up and down. " I love you too. Please Mate, try and live for us. I don't know what I would do without you." His arms were wrapped around Hermione and me, and were getting tighter.

"See Harry, you have so much to live for. If not for yourself, live for them." Draco said quietly from the corner.

"Thank you Mal- Draco. If this gets out, I'll kill you myself." threatened Ron, he turned to stare him in the eyes. "But thank you for saving his life. For helping." he said awkwardly, patting him on the back. I started to laugh, they all started at me.

"It's just that's the funniest thing I've seen in a long time." I said in between fits of laughter. They all joined me, laughing just as hard, when we finally calmed down.

"That's the first time I've ever seen you smile Draco." I pointed out. He glared at me.

"Probably the last time too, if your going to stare at me like that." he scowled.

"Draco." Hermione warned.

"What?" he questioned, looking confused.

"Be nice to him. He just tried to" she stopped talking. "Harry, we all still need to talk; we still need to help you. This isn't over, not even close. Just because you laughed once doesn't mean you're better." she said seriously. Ron's smile instantly disappeared. "I'm going to go to the library." she informed us, running off.

"Harry, Mate, your my best mate, okay?" he informed me. "I'll talk to you soon." he said, chasing after Hermione.

"Draco, why did you do it?" I questioned.

"I couldn't let the saviour of the wizarding world die." He smiled at me.

" Seriously Draco, you told me to trust you. Trust is a two way street." I said looking down at my hands nervously playing with them.

"Why do you do that?" Draco questioned, his hand reaching out to lift my chin up. I paused, startled at the intense look in his eyes.

"It's a coping mechanism. At first, I did it because that's what my uncle taught me to do; because freaks aren't supposed to look normal people in the eyes. I do it now because I'm scared that people will be able to read what I'm feeling in my eyes; Hermione told me a long time ago that my eyes were like open books. I guess I do it for a lot of reasons now." I admitted struggling to concentrate on my words with his face so close to mine. " Why did you save me?" I asked, this time it was Draco's turn to drop his eyes.

" My mother, she killed herself this summer." he admitted quietly. "I guess everything that happened took a toll on her. I wished someone would have saved her."

"Draco, I'm so sorry."

"It isn't your fault." He smiled at me.

"I know that. I'm sorry I brought up so many bad memories today."

"I'm not."

"Why?"

"Because Harry. If you hadn't done what you tried to do today, you might have tried tomorrow and what if I wasn't conveniently sitting, staring out my window? I was there, no harm done; but we might not have been as lucky at a different time. And Harry, now you have people to help you to get better. You have people who love you and won't give up on you. I'm glad I was the one to save you Harry." He smiled at me.

"Thank you, Draco." I tried smiling at him; he knew it was forced and fake but at least he knew.

"Are you hungry?" I nodded. "Do you want to go to the kitchen and get something to eat?" I nodded again. "Harry?" I looked up. "Its going to get better, I promise." He smiled at me.

"How do you know?" I asked. "It never gets better for me only worse." I admitted.

"Because I'm going to make sure you're the happy, annoying little chap you used to be." He smiled, patting my arm. "Come on." he said, leading the way again; we walked side by side to the kitchen. The stares not bothering me as much, they finally had a reason to stare; a Slytherin and a Gryffindor, walking together, was a sight to see. A former Death Eater and the Saviour of the Wizarding World was an even weirder thing to see. We finally reached the portrait that lead into the kitchen.

"Harry?" came a yell from down the hall we both looked up to see the Headmistress briskly walking towards us. I tensed, it still pained me to see her like this.

Draco's hand was on my back. "It's okay." he whispered.

"Ah. Mr. Potter and Mr. Malfoy, just the people I wanted to see. You both missed dinner tonight is that right?" I started to open my mouth saying it wasn't Draco's fault.

"Yes Headmistress." he said before I had the chance.

"That's what I thought, then you two don't know the rules then?"

"Headmistress, both Harry and I have been going to this school since we were eleven; I'm sure we know the rules by now." He smiled at her.

"The rules have changed immensely since you both started school. I would advise the both of you to get updated by Miss Granger." She smiled politely at Draco and then turned to me. "Harry, I know this is very hard for you. Please know there are a lot of people you can talk to; this includes me." she added quietly to me. She smiled at me and walked away.

"Let's eat." Draco suggested, dragging me into the kitchens. I sat down while Draco told them elves what to cook for us. Once the food arrived we ate in silence.

"Harry, what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Harry please remember the trust thing."

"I don't want to talk about it, okay. This is my first day trying to get better. And guess what? It isn't working; I still hate myself, I still feel like crap. The only difference now is, if I ever go through with it, I will feel so incredibly guilty. Don't I have the right to be happy, Draco?" I questioned, angry at everything.

"You do, but trust me when I say that killing yourself isn't the only way to be happy."

"I don't believe you. I hope I die from some freak accident." I said, hoping once again my magic would grant me that wish.

"Just please eat Harry." he said quietly. I instantly felt guilty for making him feel bad. I ate a couple of bites before I felt full; I sat there playing with my food.

"Harry, do me a favour?" I looked at Draco with a questioning look in my eyes. "Please stay with someone tonight; I don't think you should be alone." he admitted.

"I'll stay with Ron I promise." We walked back to the dorms, getting granted access, I walked to where I assumed all the rooms were. All of the doors had names on them; I found Ron's. I was about to knock when I heard noises from inside; I could tell both Hermione and Ron were in the room. I didn't want to disturb them again today so, instead, I turned around and found myself walking towards Draco's room. I knocked; it took several minutes before Draco opened the door, wrapped in a robe.

"Yes?" he questioned, looking around; for Ron, I would assume.

"Ron's busy; could I sleep here?" I asked ,suddenly feeling nervous.

"I guess, come on in." He moved out of the way and I walked over to the couch. Lying down, I closed my eyes, not realizing how tired I was.

"Do you want a blanket or pillow?" Draco questioned.

"No, I'm fine thank you." I said as politely as possible. I hate night time right before I go to bed, it's the worst time of day for me; when I have to be left alone with my thoughts. I breathed in deeply, trying to concentrate on something, so my thoughts wouldn't be what I was left alone with. I started to concentrate on Draco's breathing; it was like music, I listened to it until I fell asleep.

When I woke up the next morning, a pillow was under my head and a blanket was covering me. I slowly sat up, looking around to see where Draco was;he was still fast asleep in his bed. As quietly as possible I sat up, folding the blanket and setting it on the pillow. As I started towards the door, Draco shot up out of bed, his wand pointing at me. My hands shot up in to the air; as he noticed who it was, his wand lowered to his side.

"Sorry Potter, you scared me." he said putting his wand away. "Where are you going at this God forsaken hour?" he questioned.

" I was going to go to my rooms to change and take a shower." I informed him

"Well, you see, the funniest thing happened last night."

"What?"

"If you looked around, you would notice my rooms have changed a little bit." he said smirking at me. "Aren't you supposed to always be aware of your surroundings?"

I looked around the room; there were now two beds instead of one. The other bed was red and Draco's had turned green; my trunks were now at the end of the red bed. The whole room had changed; it had become big enough for two people to spaciously live together.

"What? Why?" I questioned.

"I guess the castle agreed that you shouldn't be left alone." He smiled at me.

"Won't people notice?" I questioned.

"Who's going to know? No one in this dorm cares, Harry. We're all adults here; they aren't going to go tell everyone. Most of the people here are your friends anyway." he informed me.

"Are my rooms gone?"

"I don't know; I didn't check. Just get ready for the day and then we'll go see." He smiled at me, going to a door. "It gave us two bathrooms ; you can have that one, okay?" I grabbed my clothes from my trunk before heading to my bathroom. I quickly took a shower and put my clothes on; when I was done Draco was already sitting on a chair waiting for me.

"Ready?" I nodded; we both went down to the great hall to have breakfast. I spotted Hermione and Ron sitting beside each other whispering. We sat down opposite to them; they both stopped talking as soon as they saw us.

"Morning Harry." they said in unison; they instantly smiled, looking at each other.

"Ugh! Stop being cute in the morning, it's making me lose my appetite." Draco groaned at them; both rolled their eyes at him.

"Harry, where's your room gone? I tried to knock on your door to head to breakfast together, but Neville's room is beside mine now."

"I guess Draco and I share a room now. I was going to sleep in your room but you were busy, so I slept in Draco's. When we woke up this morning, the whole room had changed." I informed him.

"Harry, I didn't mean to be busy. You can interrupt me at anytime, I don't care what I'm doing, okay?" Ron said staring at me. "Any time of the day or night. You're the most important thing, you trump everything yeah?"

"Honestly Ron, it's fine." I smiled.

"No it isn't; I'm being serious right now mate."

"The same goes for me Harry." Hermione said smiling at me. I nodded, giving up. I still wasn't going to interrupt them when they were busy together; as much as they said it wouldn't matter, I know it would.

"Harry, we did a lot of research last night, and I want to talk to you about making some changes; is that okay?" Hermione asked, looking nervously at me. I nodded.

"Well living in Draco's rooms are a good start. But let's discuss this tonight at 7:00 in Draco's room." she said, looking at Draco for permission.

"Our rooms." Draco corrected. "It's fine with me, as long as its fine with Harry." he said looking at me.

I nodded again. "I'm going to head to class, see you lot at 7:00." I said, starting to stand up.

"Harry, you've hardly touched your food." Hermione nagged from beside Ron.

"I ate a large dinner last night; I'm not that hungry." I said getting up from the table and heading to class.

Authors note: Hi, here is the second chapter let me know what you think.

And also a big thank you to my beta marksmom. :)