Chapter 2

Why am I fighting to live
If I'm just living to fight?
Why am I trying to see...
If there ain't nothin' in sight?
Why am I trying to give
When no one gives me a try?
Why am I dying to live
If I'm just living to die?

-Jonny Lang, Dying To Live

When they had some distance between themselves and the city, Siobhan pulled the van over for the morning potty break. Kids could only go so long, and everyone needed a moment to stretch their legs. She was tired as hell, leaning to the side of the van as the heat soaked up through the metal to her back. It felt kinda good after a while. A rifle rested across her arms, and the weight was reassuring. This stop would be brief, but you could never be too sure. She noticed Sister Sarah looking at her, giving the elderly woman her attention.

"Yes?"

Sister Sarah took the van keys from Siobhan's hand.

"You are exhausted. Crawl in the back and sleep. Julio can drive."

Siobhan might have argued, except she was starting to see the dim outline of double vision around everyone and everything. Her fatigued body just wanted to drop. Surely, if Glenn flipped out and tried anything, Julio would kick the shit out of him. She had faith in that. Julio could be reckless and impulsive, but he was also protective. Not slow to react to a threat. So, with what she hoped was a gracious nod, she acquiesced.

"Fine. But only a few hours. "

The younger woman sought out Julio, helping hand out a breakfast of vitamins and Slimfast. They had found cases of the stuff in a drug store and it took the edge off their hunger first thing in the morning, could do for dinner if they couldn't make a stop. It was better than nothing. Drinking her own can of breakfast, Siobhan spoke in a low tone to Julio.

"We are just taking Glenn to his ride, and then he's on his own. Keep a close eye on him. He seems okay but we don't know him. If he sneezes the wrong way, you clock him and give a yell." She narrowed her eyes, thinking that suited for directions on their guest. "Wake me up in a few hours. We need to figure out where we're going next."

Julio gave her a little salute.

"I got you, sister. Relajate! You look worse than the dead ones. Get some sleep."

She patted his shoulder and went back to the van, resisting the urge to threaten Glenn again for good measure. He was an unknown quantity in their midst. It meant he was capable of quite a bit. If anything, the sickness and zombies had shown her a whole other side of fucked up. People nowadays outdid themselves. Trumping the last 'most fucked up thing ever' she had seen. She nestled to the back corner of the van, pulling a blanket over herself. The blanket smelt sleep-warm and sweet from the kids that had shared it. Despite her plans to think about their next stop- she was out as soon as she closed her eyes. Even the others returning to the van didn't wake her. Diablo curled up with her, beady eyes keeping watch as his mistress rested.

Sitting up front with Julio, Glenn watched out the window as they steadily drove past overturned cars and straggling walkers. He hated being inside the cities. It made his skin crawl. You just never knew where someone might be lurking. Dead or alive, they were all dangerous.

"You born around here?"

Julio asked.

"Close enough."

Glenn glanced to the kids in the back of the van, seeing how they were either reading or talking quietly, but all seemed so beat down. He wondered when they had last been able to run around. Glancing back to Julio, he inquired, "You're from New York, right? I can hear it in your accent."

"Yeah. Brookyln. Born and raised. That's most of us, really. Except Neal, Nettie and Thomas. We picked them up along the way. Neal was just outside of Jersey. Found him runnin down the road with some zs after him. Mowed them down with the fan and chopped up the rest. He turned twelve last week. Nettie and Thomas, the carrot-tops, they're brother and sister. Siobhan found them."

The afore mentioned kids looked up towards Glenn, the two little boys seeming shy, but Nettie, the five year old girl, gave him a tiny wave. Her eyes were a striking green under the copper of her curls, but what made her really stand out was the rectangular scar tissue on her exposed calf. The same kind of scar was on her brother's arm. Thomas noticed Glenn looking at his scar and pulled his shirt-sleeve down over it, tucking his arm close to his body. Glenn turned back around, not wanting to make the kids uncomfortable. Siobhan and Sister Sarah had a whole passel of kids to look after even if some of the brood were older teenagers. They were still kids.

"How did you meet the sisters?" Glenn wanted to keep up his end of the conversation here.

"Known Sister Sarah since my moms started goin to the shelter. Every time she tried to leave my dad, she'd head over to the Sacred Heart shelter. Same story for my friends back there. We all grew up in the Sacred Heart. It was a place to sleep before my folks would make up. My dad would drop some lines, win my mom back. Or maybe she just gave up. I don't know. Siobhan…" The youth paused, his eyes meeting Sister Sarah's in the rearview window before he shrugged. "She's just always been around. You get to know people from the neighborhood, especially from church. Sacred Heart was our place to go for safety. We all ended up there when things went to shit, you know?"

Glenn felt he had missed something, but didn't want to press too hard to find out more. Curiosity could make people nervous. He scanned the road ahead.

"The car's up here."

Except, it wasn't. There was no sign of the Mazda he had been driving. The blanket from the backseat was on the ground though, a dead walker lying on it. Brains blown out. Glenn got out of the idling van, looking totally bereft. Someone had stolen the car he had rightfully stolen. Glenn swore, a hand over his face.

Standing next to Glenn, Julio and another of the boys, Deshawn, looked at him with chagrin. Julio looked to his friend, asking, "She said get him to his car. No more than that."

Deshawn nodded, "True story but doesn't mean we can leave him here. No car. He's double screwed without a reach-around." The young black male scanned the road around them, not seeing any hints of movement. No zombies or people. For the moment. "We need to give him a ride. We don't have definite plans anyway, right? We do what's right."

That sounded well and good right now, but only because they were rehearsing what to say to their leader when she woke up. The boys shared a long stare, making the choice. They passed it by Sister Sarah, who agreed it was the right thing to do. Their de facto leader, Sister Siobhan, was going to give them an earful for letting her sleep while they drove Glenn 'home'. Wherever that was.

Glenn's camp wasn't that far from the highway. Not easy to find, but still not so far that Julio had time to really sweat over the distance. He was surprised to be driving up a real drive-way though. Towards a big house set back on a few green acres. People really lived like this? Ever? For the city kid, seeing all this space was a little disconcerting. A high fence was erected around the house, and vehicles in varying states of repair were parked around the property. Just in case. He pulled the van to a stop, looking at their guest.

"Big house."

"We had to clean out the cul-de-sac when we got here, but yeah. It's roomier than the farm we were staying at."

Catching the pain in Glenn's voice, no one asked any more about it. Whatever had happened at the farm was obviously bad news. Julio parked the van, glancing back to see Siobhan still asleep. She had been awake for too long, burnt herself out. It bought them a little time at least. Time to drop off Glenn and be out of here before she could really get pissed. Julio knew her temper was coming from a good place, but there were times he was a little spooked by her. She did some things… too easy.

Like getting Nettie and Thomas back. That was bloody and brutal, but Siobhan had done the deed with a sort of grim fervor that made Julio wonder if it bothered her at all.

He just never asked. Having the kids back and mostly in one piece, had been enough.

Strangers walked out onto the porch of the big house, three men in the front armed. They weren't pointing their guns, but they had them out. Julio knew from the looks on their faces they'd shoot if they had to. No hesitation. He kept his own hands in plain sight.

Glenn hurriedly left the van, reassuring his friends that he was alright. They talked amongst themselves for a moment; no doubt Glenn was telling them why he came back with nothing but the clothes on his back, without the kid he'd taken along.

A dark-haired man walked over to the open passenger side door, looking inside at Glenn's rescuers. The man was tall, lean but muscular. He had steady blue eyes, giving off an air of calm authority. Seeing the group of mostly kids and teens, he gave his head a small shake. The kids had all lost their parents, obviously, but came this far through some miracle.

"My name's Rick. Y'all are welcome to have some water. If you're hungry, food."

Sister Sarah sat forward, a genuine smile on her round face.

"Thank you, Rick. My name is Sister Sarah."

Quietly clambering out of the van, the old woman started to wave the children out as well, putting a finger to her lips to keep them quiet. No sense waking Siobhan just yet. Poor girl needed her rest. Sister Sarah also saw the need to make nice before Siobhan was on her feet again. Sometimes, Siobhan's protective side could come across as volatile. Other times- she was volatile. No amount of love would take away all the ingredients that made Siobhan hard to handle, but Sister Sarah loved her like a daughter.

The other members of Glenn's group came out, seeing the assortment of young people having Gatorade and chips on the front lawn. Deshawn and Julio stayed on point, watching over the smaller kids like hawks. They stayed by the kids while the other two older boys, Ramy who was fifteen and Eric, seventeen, lingered by the van. They made it look casual enough, but they were on guard. Watching their people and their ride.

Two kids from the survivor camp, Carl and Sophia, joined the new kids like excited puppies. They were playing freeze tag when one of the little girls ran into a man walking out of the nearby woods. The man sneered and knocked the girl back like he was swatting a fly.

"HEY!" Julio yelled, "Cabron, watch it! You gotta problem? Want one, motherfucker?"

Pausing, the newcomer- and the man just behind him- paused, looking over the group as he heard some colorful language coming his way.

"When'd we get more spics? Ain't we haven no meetins about this shit?"

Julio picked up the little girl that had ran into the man, holding Jennifer as he glowered at the man.

""Merle." Rick walked over, standing between Julio and the Dixon brothers. "These are our guests. They brought Glenn back. Now calm down. They're just kids."

The elder Dixon brother grunted a laugh. "Runnin a daycare?" He ran his eyes over the teenaged girls in the new company, smiling like a shark. "I don't mind the young trim but the rest of em?" He spat on the ground, close to Julio's boot. "They're probably the reason God set to cleanin the world."

"That is brilliant."

Siobhan had awoken to the sounds of yelling, coming out of the van in a burst of angry speed. Seeing the man leering at 'her' girls and spitting out phlegm and hate? She fisted her hands to keep them from reaching for a weapon. She was carrying a gun at the small of her back, a knife at her hip and one in her boot. But she had the feeling this was one of those moments calling for finesse. She went to put a hand to Julio's shoulder, pushing him behind her, eyes burning in temper. Her voice quivered like a growl when she spoke again.

"You get off pickin fights with kids?"

"Lil girl, give me the time and I'll show you exactly how I get off."

Merle grinned and looked back to his younger brother.

"Look what just dropped in my lap, lil brother. I think she wants a piece."

"I just want to skin this shit and have a beer."

Daryl flicked his eyes over the young woman that stood close to his own height. She was vibrating with her temper. It was a good look for her. She was wearing too much clothing, and not just because he wanted a better look at her. He wondered if she wasn't hot as hell wearing her long sleeves and something around her neck that looked like a mesh scarf. A scarf. In fucking Georgia? He shook his head, shouldering past Merle and the woman. He was hoping his disregard would be enough to get his brother moving. Merle liked an audience. Played up his worse traits to get people going. Riled up. True to form, when Daryl started walking, carrying a handful of carcass, Merle winked to Siobhan and followed after his brother.

Once the Dixons had walked off, Siobhan turned her narrowed eyes to Julio. He shrugged apologetically.

"His ride was gone."

"We will talk later."

Siobhan gave her attention to Rick. She held out her hand, since that was the civilized thing to do. They shook hands as he tried to apologize.

"There's no telling what'll come out of Merle's mouth-"

"Don't sweat it. I've heard worse."

Truthfully, Siobhan had to work at watching her own mouth. It was an uphill battle on a good day. She got a good feel from Rick. Something about him was reassuring. Not in a smarmy way. He wasn't a used car-salesman kinda friendly. He just had to be one of the few, true-blue good people. They did exist.

She saw the kids, her kids, looking to her expectantly. Waiting for her to give the word for everyone to be back in the van, now. She saw Carl and Sophia as well. Hopeful about having other kids to play with for even a few more minutes.

"You're all welcome to stay. To join us. We wouldn't turn you away."

Rick said it softly, seeing the young nun looking over the kids and doing a head count at the same time. She was worried about them, but who wouldn't be. It was a big responsibility having other peoples' lives in your hands. Nothing simple about it.

"Maybe…for the night."

Siobhan heard the smatter of applause from the younger kids and smiled a little. A clap to her shoulder made her look at Rick as he nodded to her like they'd come to an understanding. It was not for more than a night. Just for the kids' sake. She frowned as she walked towards Sister Sarah.

A blonde woman, toting a rifle over her back, was leaning to the post of the front porch, chatting with the elderly nun. Andrea, Siobhan learned from hearing the back and forth, was trying to make nice over the interaction with Merle.

"We've all just learned to overlook a lot when it comes to the Dixons. You can't fault a redneck for not knowing any better. Being racist and narrow-minded. They aren't educated."

When Siobhan gave a slight, scoffing laugh, Andrea looked her way, asking, "What's so funny?"

Despite Sister Sarah's sigh, Andrea was going to get her answer.

"Calling someone else a racist and using those words at the same time. It's funny." Since Andrea looked at her without understanding, her blue eyes bordering on angry, Siobhan shrugged. "What you said, calling them rednecks. It's a slur. It's like saying- 'That nigger over there is a racist.' Get me now?"

"I was just-"

"I know. You weren't educated."