Two months had passed since the mother and daughter decided to join them. And in those two months, the blue-eyed man found her eyes catching his. And as her eyes lingered on him, he did not see distrust anymore. It was another emotion he was not sure of. Parking at the abandoned drug store, the four got out as they breathed in the air. 2 hours of constant driving deserved a break. To free their minds and bodies from the enclosed space.
The bleak, gut-wrenching nightmares were on and off. And she wondered why he didn't ask her about them. Probably the same reason she had never asked him about his. Or about Merle. This was more of a "choose to disclose" type of arrangement. Though she never told the redneck that Shelby shared the story of how his brother saved their lives. And how hard it was to show others that they were not racists like him.
"Stay close girls." The two nodded as he liked the idea of Michonne being the mother figure to his child. And Kennedy who had become her sister.
"We aren't due for another town until 2 more hours." Michonne looked at the map as she watched the two girls sit on the concrete playing clapping games. It was like they didn't care if they had a steady home. And they were fine with that.
"I would have never thought that my daughter would...I'm glad she has someone other than me." Daryl only agreed.
"I'm glad you decided to stay." He finally admitted.
When he said those words to her. The look in his eyes told her it wasn't easy for him to say that. This journey together made them rely on each other. For once she could drop her guard with the redneck.
"me too." She kept her eyes on the map. Feeling his blue eyes observe her.
She wondered if he thought the same thing she thought when she stared at him? Was this for good intentions? Did he want anything out of return from her or her daughter? She wouldn't let that happen again. Her daughter would never know what it was like to be helpless. Tarnished. Filthy.
Her past would not collide with her present.
This man that she became accustomed to noticed her slight movements when he touched her for simple things. Her shoulders jerks. She became still as she held her breath.
And he heard her screams as she fought her nightmares. That man. His face so clear in her mind.
That horrible night. Everything was hazy. It felt like a dream. His hands on her body. Pulling her hair. The numbness.…
"Michonne. What's wrong?" Daryl saw her disturbed eyes as she came back.
"Nothing. Just thinking that we may have to raid a couple of malls and stores. Find the girls winter coats and gloves. That is if anything is there." His steady eyes on her as she avoided his gaze.
"That's not what ya were thinkin, but I will let it slide." He watched her frightened expression turn back to stoic. He didn't know how he became so used to her and Ken so quickly. But it made sense to him somehow.
The archer knew what had happened to the woman. But he wished she would trust him to tell him. At night he would watch her sleep. The cold sweat on her forehead as she punched into the air. She was begging for someone to stop hurting her. A man. And he found this anger raise inside of him. No man had the right to ever hurt a woman that way. This woman was fighting this internal war with herself. To lose something. Then gain it back. And then to have it taken away from you again. She was the strongest person he knew.
"Tell meh again why we are here?" He looked at the Mom and Popshop. For now he would change the subject.
"You really want to hear it again Dixon?" She eyed him as he shook his head.
"Come on let's got get these damn tampons." He knocked on the window as they waited for the coast to be clear. The dark beauty was impressed the man was not disgusted by feminine hygiene. She felt a light smile on her face.
It was like she was her old self again.
"So while we wait are ya gonna tell me what you were thinking about earlier. Why ya always jump every time I am around ya? Why ya don't believe I am actually tryna help ya and Ken?"
"Nothing comes for free in this world Dixon. That was the way it was before the dead started walking. People took and didn't say they were sorry. They didn't care who they hurt." Pausing as her mind traveled to that morning after. Laying in the unfamiliar bed.
"it seems that every time I try to not think of it, I get reminded again." She spoke vaguely as he let her ramble on.
"Yeah. I get that. My bruther was like that. He took everything he could from me. The one decent thang he did for us got him killed." He paused as the woman looked away from his eyes.
"Ya tell me when yer ready, cause it aint like we don't have no time." They watched their kids together.
"I can't help but to worry about them. I know I just met Shelby, but I worry about her as if she were my own. And its like when we go into that drug store, they aren't kids anymore. I keep thinking what goes in their heads when they shoot a walker. Both are still growing with their weapons. They are beginning to understand that they aren't people anymore. I just." She began to pause as the tracker rubbed her back gently.
He didn't expect to see the strong willed woman open up like this. Her broad shoulders hesitantly accepting his touch as she collected herself.
They saw walkers clash against the glass. "Maybe you should stay with the kids. It doesn't look like too many. And I don't want them to be without two adults if any more come out." Michonne volunteered.
Irrational was the only way to describe herself. Constantly contradicting herself. Her mind and heart were telling her two different things. She was a rational person, so why did she trust him so quickly? Even with her child. He had no obligation to her. Neither did she, but she didn't want to be separated from him.
"At least open the door and wait for them to all walk outside." He stated as she saw his determination. Hearing his whistle as the girls came from the other side of the car. Their weapons ready.
"Remember just like we practiced." The two stayed by the renegade's side as they opened door. Waiting for the walkers to approach them. Trusting his gut to watch the kids in action. Being ready to take over if they could not.
"don't be scared Shelby." Kennedy whispered as the other loaded her crossbow. Seeing two creatures approach them at a steady pace. Their guts falling to the ground.
Holding up her gun, the chocolate girl waited for her heart to slow down.
"I'm not." The brunette beat her father to the punch as she shot one in the head. Holding her breath. The body fell lifelessly to the ground, she cheered as she waited for her sister to shoot.
"Me neither." The girl aimed and pulled the trigger. Her weapon was no longer heavy in her hand as another fell down on the ground. Both being rewarded with head pats, the child tried to run after her mother as the father figure stopped her.
"Daryl let me go." She pleaded as the man looked her in eye.
"I know ya want to go kiddo, but I can't let ya. Anything can happen in there. Ya two have to know that if anything happens to us, we expect ya two to obey us and our wishes."
"Yes sir." He hoped Michonne would be alright.
Running through the aisles, she found what she was looking for as she placed them in her bag. Rolling her eyes, she realized Daryl was going to be an unhappy man with three girls menstruating. Laughing lightly, she walked through the aisles making sure she got what she needed. Batteries. Wire. Electric tape. Shampoo. Along with other knick knacks.
"Ya risk yer life for shampoos and conditioners. Good lord." The man huffed as the woman ignored him.
"It's been weeks since me and Ken washed our hair. We know it's probably been longer for you two." Shelby nodded greatly as her eyes glowed at the bottle.
"We are trying to survive from starved craved walkers. Who dah hell has time to wash their hair?" The girls laughed at their parents' banter.
How can women think of this?
"I know that, but sometimes we can't let go of our old rituals." She gave him the bag so he looked through it.
"And since you two did so good today. Here is something." She gave them the two barbies as they hugged her. Kissing her cheek as she smiled.
Daryl didn't regret letting the two strangers with them at all.
TWDTWDTWD
Hearing the girls lightly snore in the back seat, she felt his eyes on her again as she drove. She couldn't say she wasn't attracted to him somewhat. His quiet nature was like hers. The way he bonded with Ken. But she was preparing herself to be tossed aside. When he and his daughter leave them , she would feel as dirty and used as before. No way would the man allow a black woman to help raise Shelby. Nor would he help raise hers. Wait. Where was this coming from? She couldn't imagine what Ken would feel like if it did happen.
No matter if that incident happened before her child was born. Or before she married, that dirty feeling never left.
"ya know ya are gonna have to eventually tell me what is on yer mind right?" Concern showed in his deep crystalline blue eyes. His eyes focusing on her small fingers.
"I remember you telling me to tell you when I was ready?" Her hard tone did not offend him anymore.
"I did. But. Whatever it is. It is weighing ya down. more and more. at times it's like ya don't focus. Ya shut down. it worries Ken." Informing her as she pulled on the side of the road.
Like she didn't know this herself.
"Me and my daughter are my main priority. We made it before you even came along. You were the one who asked us to stay. We didn't beg." Her eyes bore into his as he licked his lips.
"I didn't mean it like that. Why do ya have to find every reason to rip me to pieces? I thought we were friends. No one is saying ya are a bad mother. Yer a hell of a good one. Better than mine. Ya would give the world fer Ken. even Shelby. What if I told ya I was just worried 'bout ya."
"then I would tell you to mind your own business. Its funny how you want me to tell you my life story when I don't know all of yours. And I don't want to know it. All that matters is that you are Daryl and I am Michonne with two kids. I mean. With one child each." She bit her tongue.
Since when did she begin to think of them as a family?
She wanted to tell him. But how do you tell someone this? Even in this hell, she never felt as powerless as she did that night. The feeling just crept back on her at times. Holding herself, his eyes made her shutter.
All she had to do was say it. He was waiting for her too. It was his expression that told her he knew. But she wanted to let it go. It happened a long time ago. and she couldn't afford to be weak now. Not like how she used to be.
"Michonne." He began as he was at a loss for words. His fingers twitching as they found hers.
Slightly jumping at the touch, her body allowed him.
The two never understood how this simple gesture made them feel less alone. But it did. Her smooth skin that caught his attention to no end. Her full lips that puckered when she was in deep thought. The bright smile that rarely appeared but when it did. Beautiful was the only word. Their fingers laced as the strong woman held her breath.
"Daryl." She panicked. "We should keep driving." She let his hand go as she ignored the moment.
TWDTWDTWD
Gathering the dead bodies around the abandoned mobile home, they expected this would repel their scent. Smiling as their children helped, his mind made him see them as his. Watching Michonne helping them, his heart skipped a beat at the thought of her. And he mentally kicked himself for thinking such thoughts about the loner. Like she would think he would be a good provider to them. And this time it was not his imagination because she was looking straight at him.
"Why are you staring at Daddy like that?" Shelby saw the woman blush as the two girls giggled. Was she that obvious? She was too messed up to allow anyone in her heart. Why did kids have to be so intuitive?
"You like Daddy. I always wanted a mommy." Shelby squealed as the mother tried to shush her. The girl was definitely direct. Just like her father. And she loved her for that.
"and I want a daddy." Kennedy reinforced as the woman became speechless.
"Girls you have that already." She told them as she watched the man go inside. Did she just say that?
"so does that mean I can call you mommy? And Ken can call him daddy?" Their puppy dog eyes made her break. She didn't think they would take her words literally.
"I." The mother said. She didn't expect those questions. "Go inside while I make sure everything is secure out here." Looking in the van, she made sure they did not leave anything inside.
People left quick before this apocalypse. And only quicker now. The little words. Those titles had a big impact on them.
Ken knew her mother avoided the question. Were they wrong to see them as their parents? So much scared her. Things she knew and things she didn't. the look in her mom's eyes told her that she didn't know what to tell them. But she also couldn't help what she felt for the redneck man who looked out for her. And taught her about tracking. Hunting. Surviving. But she had lost her father. Her uncle. She couldn't lose another father.
Daryl opened the little closet as he checked the hot water tank. Feeling the girl tug his vest, he stopped. Seeing the girl's saddened eyes, he knew she was worried about her mother. Like himself.
He knew he shouldn't pry. But he wanted to help her. She was his family now. And he had to.
"Do you think you can get it to work?" Her light voice made him pause. "Dad." She tested the waters as the man looked down at her. Her dark eyes like her mother.
"I think so. It's been a while since we had a good bath." His heart smiled at the sound of the word from her lips. He had fallen in love with this woman and child in different ways.
"I just wanted to say that mommy doesn't hate you. She has always been like that. She doesn't know how to open up to people." She bit her lip. Knowing she would get in trouble for pretending to be asleep as she eavesdropped.
"It's something that happened to her a long time ago. That's why she still cries and screams at night about it." Her eyes widened as she caught herself. Holding herself. Crouching down, he looked her in the eyes.
The archer knew he was treading on dangerous waters.
"Ya can tell meh anything." He touched her shoulders. "I just want Michonne to trust meh like ya do."
"It's just that. Mommy didn't tell me. I overheard her and granny talk about it one day." She remembered hiding behind the corner as she listened to their words. "it was about a man who hurt mommy. He forced himself. On…." The renegade didn't need to hear anymore as he wiped her tears away.
It had been spoken.
Finally.
Michonne entered slowly as she heard her child's light voice. She was telling him about her attack. She saw the distraught in her eyes. The way Daryl was holding her in his arms.
"Kennedy!" Michonne authoritative tone came out of nowhere as she grabbed the child by the hand. "Go in the other room with Shell now." She commanded as the child obeyed.
Glaring daggers at Daryl as he stood his ground. Waiting for her to unleash her fury.
"How dare you ask Kennedy about my personal life? You had no right." Grabbing her bags as she began to pack them.
He allowed her to yell at him. and he took it all in. He would make her realize his actions.
"Yer right. I was wrong, but don't punish her for somethin I did. Don't leave us because of that. She just wants ya'll to stay and she knows yer..."
"That still doesn't give you the right to meddle?" Her anger fueled her. "I told you earlier that it was my business. Everyone is entitled to have a little privacy."
"Not when it's a secret like that." He lowered his voice. "Not when rape is…"
"You have no idea what's its like to be taken advantage of like that. To be hurt like that. All of your free will taken away from you. To have that constant ache in your heart that won't go away." He approached her as she backed away.
"We're leaving." She warned as she continued to pack.
He knew he was wrong to do that. To place their child in the middle of this. But at least she told him. And he could be there for her. And he would not give up on her.
"You're right. I don't know. But I know you don't want to be scared anymore." He took the bag from her arms. "For the past two months ya have cried yerself to sleep. Ya are ready to attack meh at any given moment. And I know ya want to trust me. Because ya wouldn't let Ken call me 'dad.' But ya keep stopping yerself." Her eyes widened as his words.
"Because at any given moment. All this could be gone. Maybe it's time for us to part. It would have happened eventually." The two girls listened to them as they held hands. They couldn't lose each other now.
"So that's it. Ya think I'm gonna just let ya leave meh and Shel like that. That I am not gonna follow ya and Ken. I don't care about yer past. Or what that shit did tah yah. And I hate that it happened to yah. But I've become attached to ya two. Us four together. Hit meh. Curse meh. Do whatever just don't leave." Her eyes watered as he came closer.
"He hurt me so bad." She broke down in his arms as he let her cry. Finally he was here. Holding her tightly. She clasping onto him. as if he were hers. He wouldn't push her further.
It was a deafening silence. The longest minutes of their lives. Michonne gripped his vest as he rubbed her back. Hearing her take a deep breath as she collected herself. Hearing sniffles from the other room.
"Come out girls." Daryl commanded as they came from around the corner. Tears in their eyes.
"It's ok. No one is leaving anytime soon." The mother and father crouched as they looked them in eyes. Embracing them, this would have to do.
TWDTWDTWD
Michonne smiled as she dried their hair with the towel. She would do anything to make them feel safe. Like they had a home. Their giggling lightening the mood, it was a nice reminder that they were still children. Finding the fun in simple things. Running her fingers in her dreds, she felt so relieved.
But she knew she was going to have to talk to them about this. Before she knew it, they would be teenagers. And they had to understand why it was important to guard their bodies to the best of their abilities.
"Mom, can you give me some pig tails for tomorrow?" Shelby asked as Ken grabbed the lantern. She couldn't tell them to stop giving them those titles.
"Of course." She placed them in bed as she kissed their cheeks. Getting into the bed with them. One on each side as they held onto her. Ken kissed her cheek.
"Do you really think Daddy would hurt you guys?" The blue eyed child looked at her.
"No. he wouldn't." She didn't realize how much she believed those words until she said them aloud.
"Good. Cause I love you and Kennedy." She laid there as she watched them sleep. Ignoring Daryl's presence at the door. His arms folded. He stared at her as he listened to the patter of the rain. Removing herself from their embrace, she joined his side.
"Now its your turn." She hesitantly took his hand. Guiding him to the kitchen as she turned the water on. Placing the lantern on the counter, she hoped this would be their white flag. She couldn't keep blaming him for the mistakes of her attacker. Or her ex-husband.
"Ya don't have to do this."
"No because it seems as if my actions are scaring Kennedy and Shelby. You need to know that I am capable of being there for her. I don't want them to be scared of more than what they have to be in this world. I can't sabotage that." She waited for the man to put his head under the faucet.
Feeling the warm water through his hair, he felt her fingers wash through the dirt and gunk. A moan almost escaped his lips. It had been so long since he felt a woman's touch. Especially one as beautiful as she. His nerves became frazzled as her fingers traced patterns in his head. The woman had a gift.
"Told you you needed this." She turned the water off as she dried his head. Feeling his soft strands through her fingertips. His eyes glowing in the dark as she gasped. she couldn't help but notice his growing beard and mustache. Her fingers trailing from his wet hair to his face, he placed his hand over hers.
"Its been one hell of a day." He took her hand as her eyes widened more. "You can have the bed. I will take the floor." He assured her as they entered the small room.
Changing clothes with their backs turned, she couldn't stop herself from stealing glances. The way his broad shoulders were sculpted as the two demon tattoos enhanced his back. Biting her lip, she laid down. Her eyes on the ceiling as she felt a chill in the little shack. Turning on her side, she saw the renegade on the floor. His eyes meeting hers as she folded her lips. She owed him more than this. But her mouth couldn't find the right words.
"I'm not tired. Are you?" She softly asked.
Noticing how her frail fingers hung from the bed. His fingers ached to touch hers again. Her eyes asking what her tongue was afraid to.
"No." He stated. "Are ya cold?" She nodded as he got into the bed with her. Taken by surprise as he wrapped his arms around her. Their bodies trembling together as a light laugh escaped their lips.
Yes she was mentally exhausted. But the moment she felt his arms around her, she knew she would be okay. She was home. It was different than with Mike. To him she was this beautiful lawyer who needed to be saved from herself. To this simple man, she was unstoppable. Beautiful.
"Do you think Shelby and Kennedy have enough blankets?" She hoped they wouldn't get any visitors during the night. Dead or alive.
"Yeah." He took in her scent as she turned around in his arms.
"Do you think we did a good job barricading the windows and doors?" He smiled at her protective nature.
"Yeah." His mind was trying to make sense of this world. And how he instantly connected with this mysterious woman. It was as if they were always there. If only he had met them before this apocalypse. Then maybe he wouldn't have felt so lost. But the look in her eyes told him she was far away from this moment.
"Michonne?" He whispered gently as his arm tightened around her waist. The panic and frustration on her face as he didn't know how to ease her pain. Gently rubbing her temples, she became apparent. His handsome face so close to hers as she looked away.
"When you found out. I didn't know what you thought of me. I don't want you to look at me like some victim. Like some tragedy because I'm not.…."
"'Chonne I could never think that about you." He interrupted her. "You don't need to apologize for someone else's actions. He overpowered you. That piece of shit." He didn't want his anger to scare her. But all he could see was this monster on top of her. Breaking her.
"I won't let that happen to yah again. I would kill anyone who hurts you or our girls. Anyone." Boldly speaking as she held onto his arms.
"no matter how hard I try. It always makes its way back in. I feel him inside of me. Even after I married. And had Ken. He still has that piece of me I can never get back." She hesitated.
"It's why I am so scared to let Kennedy be around anyone but me. I should be used to my heart hurting so bad. But I am not. And I see his face." He listened as he comforted her. "Everyday I pray that if I can't keep her and Shelby safe from walkers I can at least keep them away from that. I didn't even know Ken knew what rape was. And now I hate how they want to help me but they can't."
"Don't worry. I will help yah." The warrior laughed cynically.
"yeah right. You will keep the monsters away at night. Just promise me that if anything happens to me you will watch over Kennedy. Because she needs to know that there is at least one man she can depend on."
"I will. But yah need to know the same thing. I know we haven't known each other for long, but this hell makes us get closer because we both need each other. I know yah think it is too soon, but yer actually someone I know I can count on to help me and Shelby's through this. Her mother didn't stand a chance against this."
" I'm sorry to hear that." She rubbed his arm as he frowned slightly.
"She died in child birth." He volunteered.
"Sorry to hear that about your wife."
"She wasn't my wife. Nor my girlfriend. But I still respect her for giving me Shelby." He informed. Hoping he didn't seem like shit for mentioning a one night stand.
"Ken's father left when she was three. He just decided that we didn't fit into his little world anymore." She shrugged. "And before I knew it, the divorce papers were in the mail a week later."
"What an asshole. " Daryl said. How could anyone leave this woman and child?
"No. no. It's fine. I have accepted it. I used to be angry. Bitter. But the woman he left me for ended up leaving him. and so cliché he came back saying that he was wrong. And how much he missed me and Kennedy but I couldn't take him back like that." She couldn't believe she told him that. And that he didn't judge her.
"Can't blame yah there. People never appreciate what they got till it's gone. I can't see why it would take any man to lose yah to see that." He blushed as the woman in his arms became quiet.
"Thanks for that." She huffed. "And now I am going to keep you guys awake because of dreams."
"Don't be afraid. I'm here." He tucked her tightly in his arms. "Are ya still cold?"
"No." She simply said. Feeling warmth in her body as she found herself breathing in his scent. His masculine scent. Strong yet gentle. Just like him. his hands rubbing her arms. Her eyes slowly closed. Hoping he was strong enough to stop her nightmares.
