John turns to Nepeta, the girl with the blue hat. She pauses a moment, and then smiles.

"Dare."

"Alright, Nepeta. I dare you... to walk on your hands all the way to the lockers next locker break." Nepeta grins, then replied, "Only if you'll carry my book bag." John, somehow, grins even wider, though this seems nearly impossible to you. There are some things in life that even you can't understand. Nepeta turns expectantly to Gamzee.

"Dare away." He grins right back. You take a moment to wonder at how inexplicably smiley everyone in your class is. Perhaps they've all been hitting the prickle-plant juice? Small footsteps snap you back to reality. Nepeta is running past; her big green coat flopping behind her. It strikes you how ridiculous the girl looks, and this time it's you being inexplicably smiley. You really need to stop drinking prickle-plant juice whenever you get ominous premonitions. They never... come... true-

Your world fades to black.


Groggily , you open your eyes. Your head is pounding, and you need ozone. But the air in this room is just air, that's it, it has all the other stupid chemicals mixed in with it. Sitting up, bright spots dance across your vision. The two sea dwellers are recovering very quickly, both in tanks of salt water. How come they're getting treated better than you are? You're higher up on the hemospectrum than them- but no one knows that, do they? The only person here that you've told was fish-face... Everything that happened in the classroom comes back to you in a flash.

Literally, a flash; those pirouetting polka-dots of light are back. You wish they would just go away, along with the nurse who's run over here, and ugh is that John...?

You collapse back onto your bed again.


"Hey! You're awake!" You open your eyes groggily. You have a terrible headache, and you could really use some ozone right now. But the air in this room is just chemical-ed up troposphere.

Okay, this makes no sense, but you could swear all this has happened before. You just don't quite remember it.

"Hey, Rewyll! This time you'll stay awake, right?" Your eyes fly open, to the sight of Mister Derpy Face leaning over you. Ugh, you are so not up to highblood charades right now. You flop over, so he can't see your face anymore.

"Go 'way," you mutter, nearly incoherent. Ouch... this headache is starting to feel more like a migraine. John laughs, then leans over some more so he can see your face again.

"Oh come on, Rewyll. You should be fine, everyone else is." He smiles at you. Again. Why won't he just shut up? You roll over again- oh Gog why don't these beds have guards on the side of them-

"Augh!" You fall out of the bed. John starts laughing. Humiliated, you stand up. Or at least, you try to. Unfortunately, you are all wrapped up in a blanket, and you fall over with another "augh!". You look up miserably at John as he doubles over, cackling in amusement. Just then, the door opens. Dave Strider, another of the humans, pops his head in.

"Hey, Egderp. Sollux, Karkat, and I are going to get ice crea... what is going on here?" Dave glances mildly at you, then looks expectantly back at John. You have absolutely no idea how he pulls that off, because his face is just as passive as before.

"Eheheh, Rewyll... she, she, heheh, fell out of the... bed! Heheheh!" John then has another fit of laughter. He looks at you, tears in his eyes, then manages, "I'm going to have the... heheheh, giggles for the rest of the day!" You glare at him, and manage to throw the blanket off, then kick it away. Bad idea.

"IT'S COLD!" Shivering, you frantically fish the blanket out from under the bed, where you kicked a few moments ago. Why would you do that? What did the innocent blanket ever do to you? Regardless, you retrieve the blanket and quickly tie it around your shoulders like a soft, warm, cuddly cape. Storming over to the door, you wait for Dave to move aside or suffer the consequences of your mighty wrath. He smirks.

"What's the password?"


10 MINUTES LATER


"Holy trombones on a pogo stick."

"No."

"Holy sock puppet in a sausage factory."

"Nope."

"Holy pop tarts and a pencil sharpener."

"Uh-uh."


SEVERAL RIDICULOUS GUESSES LATER


"Holy... kittens in a car crash?"

"Wrong, and you made that up." Darn it, he's onto you! You've run out of guesses... oh well. You decide the best option right now is to teach a terrible moral to all the minors reading this and use physical force to achieve your goal. Yay!

"Hmmm... if you don't let me through, I'll kill you?"

"Incorre- wait, wha-!" You cut Dave off in the middle of his sentence fragment by jabbing a pressure point in his side. While he's distracted, you push him aside and kick yet another pressure point behind his knee, knocking him out. He collapses, out of the way, the annoying smirk disappearing off his face. You turn around for no apparent reason.

What in the world. Why... why did you just do that? You don't seem to recall any logic behind it, and really, it's delaying the story, so you should really turn back around and get on with it. Really.

You turn back around, because facing the wrong direction would be pointless. Who would ever do that? You wouldn't, obviously. What do I mean, you just did? You have no recollection of that. Pfff.


MEANWHILE, IN A TIME LINE THAT ACTUALLY MAKES SOME SENSE


SEVERAL RIDICULOUS GUESSES LATER


"Holy... kittens in a car crash?"

"Wrong, and you made that up." Darn it, he's onto you! You've run out of guesses... oh well. You decide the best option right now is to teach a terrible moral to all the minors reading this and use physical force to achieve your goal. Yay!

"Hmmm... if you don't let me through I'll kill you?"

"Incorre- wait, wha-!" You cut Dave off in the middle of his sentence fragment by jabbing a pressure point in his side. While he's distracted, you push him aside and kick yet another pressure point behind his knee, knocking him out. He collapses, out of the way, the annoying smirk disappearing off his face. You turn around for no apparent reason.

This is so not happening again. There has got to be some reason why this is the Alpha time line!


AUTHOR: SCROLL FORWARD A COUPLE OF LINES

oh okay that makes sense...
haha i am so clever!

AUTHOR: STOP THIS RUDE AND OBNOXIOUS SELF-INSERTION AND JUST GET ON WITH THE STORY


Jeez, this author is so annoying. Who does she think she is? The creator of your existence? The orchestrator of everything that's going to happen to you? Oh, wait...

You appear to turn around for no apparent reason (Dialogue: Oh stop snickering at your own cleverness, you're the worst author e-) Suddenly, you are slammed into the wall for no apparent reason. You are in some real pain right now, to be honest. You hear John gasp, then everything fades to black.


REWYLL: BE JOHN


You gasp in horror. You've just witnessed your new friend, Rewyll, do something hilarious, then terrible, then pointless. And finally, something just happened you can't explain. There was a flash of light behind Rewyll, and then she was slammed into the wall twenty feet away from where she was standing. You back away from the doorway, where someone wearing a long cloak stands. All that is visible underneath the hood is a pair of glowing, bright yellow eyes.


A/N: Oh, dear. It would seem that my subconscious has decided to force me and author's note-ly instincts into sbmission. Fine, subconscious. You win. Author's notes will be at the end of the chapter.

So, here it is! Chapter 2, finally up. Considerably shorter than the last one, but oh well.

I would like to thank my audiences from:

The US

The UK

Venezuela

New Zealand

and Germany!

YAY!