Hook had been half-way hoping that Queen Snow would be the one he'd report to; she was often even more tiresomely good than the others, but she'd also spent enough time as a bandit that he could get on with her quite well. Alas, it was King Charming who greeted them, just back from his own patrol. The man was tired-looking and grubby, and yet still as shining and golden as ever, which was extremely aggravating. Charming nodded and said, "Captain. Back already?"
"Unfortunately? Yes."
The king frowned, looking him over for injuries or evidence. "Why unfortunately, what happened? Did something happen to Neal?"
"In a manner of speaking," he allowed, and turned to beckon to the lad just outside the doorway. Bae came around the carved stone frame slowly, hesitant as any peasant boy in the presence of royalty, and Charming's eyes softened instantly as they did for any small child. (Now if only he could ease up on looking at Emma that way life might be a little less stressful for Hook)
"Hey there," the king said gently. "Who are you?"
Baelfire squared his shoulders and stepped forward, and Hook pretended he wasn't pleased that the boy stopped at his side, half tucked behind him for protection. "My name's Bae," he said clearly. "Although...I think you usually call me something else?"
Hook smirked as Charming's face went white with shock. "Oh yes, mate. Care to take a guess as to what our magical target did to Neal?"
"She shrunk him?" Charming shouted, almost squeaking on the middle word. Hook and Bae both snickered, although Hook did notice that the boy tucked himself even more behind his captain. Likely unnerved by the volume, which to be fair was usually a bad sign coming from such a powerful individual.
Fortunately, Hook knew Charming-knew David-and so was entirely unintimidated. "Not so much shrunk as...un-aged. Youthened?" He waved the thought away with his hook. "Either way, young Bae is a fraction the age of his previous self, with memories as clear as a choppy sea."
"His clothes shrank with him?" David continued, sounding outraged.
"Indeed. Rather obnoxious, now that you mention it, bit like showing off."
"I like these clothes," Bae said softly. "They're comfortable."
"Not going to take them from you, lad. Just as well you didn't end up in trousers that would fit two or three of you."
"Was adult me FAT?" he said, fascinated, and even Charming lightened up enough to laugh at that.
He would have responded to Bae's question, no doubt most cleverly as well, but they were all interrupted with a strident voice saying, "What the hell is going on? Someone was saying Hook came back without Neal!"
"Swan," Hook responded as she burst through the door, "as winning as ever."
"It's a little reassuring to find that even without phones or internet, gossip is still the fastest force in the world," Charming mused, and grinned at his daughter. "I thought you were going to disappear until you were clean enough to stand yourself?"
She really was in even worse state than the king, no doubt due to still not knowing her way around a forest half as well as those who had grown up there. Swan rolled her eyes and switched her glare from the pirate to her father. "Well it's not like there's plumbing worth speaking of here, is there? Have to wait an hour for people to boil water on a fireplace." The glare moved right back to Hook, which he enjoyed far more than he should. "Where the hell is Neal?"
He opened his mouth to respond, but was interrupted by Bae's clear voice. "Here, I suppose? I mean, that is my adult name, right?" He looked to Hook for reassurance and received a nod.
"Quite so. We have a whale of a tale to tell you, Princess."
"Don't call me princess," she muttered, but it was just out of habit. She sank down on a bench and stared.
"Apparently the witch is more troublesome than we'd realized," Charming said, sitting beside her and laying a hand on her shoulder. Swan shook herself out of her shock and sat up straight and stared some more.
"Wait, do you know me, ki-Baelfire?"
"Yes and no," he said gravely, and stopped, biting his lip. Hook took charge and swept the lad along to another bench so that they'd no longer be standing before the Charmings like criminals before a judge.
"Bae was explaining to us about his memories, aye, lad? It's a bit confusing for everyone, I'm sure...why don't you give it a go." He wrapped his arm over Bae's shoulders, and the trusting way the boy grabbed hold of his hook left him feeling distinctly mushy. "Tell us what you remember?"
"It's like..." Baelfire frowned as he groped for words, feet kicking in the air and hands twisting lightly around the hook. "When I was little-"
"-you're little NOW," Hook couldn't resist interjecting, and received an impressive glare for his troubles.
"When I was little," he continued testily, "I really liked to draw...but I was terrible at it. I could try to draw, say, a badger." His face lit up and his hands moved more and more freely as he got into his explanation. "The shape would be a little like a badger, and I would know what it was supposed to be, but no one would really think it looked like a badger. Although Papa always swore he could tell." He deflated suddenly as he realized who'd he mentioned, and Hook gave his shoulders a squeeze to show he wasn't upset.
"So what you're saying is, you have the...the shape of all your memories, and you know what they're about." Charming leaned forward and gave Bae a very kind look. "But you don't have any details?"
"Oh, yes!" Bae said gratefully. "That is about what it's like." He looked up under his thick fringe toward Emma, a hint of mischief sparking in his eyes. "I know Henry's my son, but I don't remember any...details."
All three adults winced and Emma planted her elbows on her knees and her face in her hands. "Well thank GOD for small favors," she said fervently. "This is just too weird, N...Bae. No offence."
"I'm not offended," Bae said, mischief going away in favor of that sweet sincerity of his. "I don't want things to be weird."
"Your detailed memories aren't there, but do you know if you've kept any of your skills? Like...using a sword, or a bow?" Emma inquired.
"And how is that important?" asked Hook.
"Well, it's a dangerous world. Never hurts to know how to protect yourself," Emma pointed out. "We probably need as much info as we can get so that when we consult...a magic user..." Charming rolled his eyes and she huffed at him. "FINE, when we consult Regina, she'll probably need details."
Bae was shrinking in on himself, looking overwhelmed, and Hook gave him a bracing pat on the back. "Well, why don't we test some of your skills, lad? See where we're at. Seems like you've forgotten how to ride a horse for one."
"I didn't forget," he replied indignantly, "she was just too big!"
"Reed is a pretty big mare," the king said comfortingly.
"You know his horse's name?" Emma sounded disbelieving.
"Well, you can take the boy out of the farm..."
"How about this," Hook said, and stood up. "Why don't we see how well you remember your letters. That's easy to check, eh? Now-" he gestured for Bae to rise as well and nudged him towards the door. "See that right turn at the end of the corridor? Just past that there's a stairway; go up to the next floor, then into the chambers two doors down. I happen to know that there is a fine collection of adventure stories in there." Bae looked up at him, then hesitantly back at the royal pair. Hook made a rude noise and gently pushed him out the door. "Oh, stop fretting, they won't bite. Now go find a book you fancy and I'll be along in a moment, fair enough?"
The boy turned around and gave a rough bow before trotting off, and moments later Swan said, "Hook!"
"Yes?" he responded brightly.
"Why the hell'd you send him to MY room?"
"Like I said, plenty of adventure books there. I'm sure your lad won't begrudge the loan." He considered making a more suggestive statement of some sort, but decided that with her father listening closely wasn't the best time. Emma often laughed at his comments in private, but with anyone else around she was blustery as a winter gale. "Besides, there's something I didn't want to mention with the lad present."
"Uh-oh."
"Oh yes. Good news and bad news. The good: I don't actually think the witch is very powerful. She immobilized us briefly, yes, but it wasn't by a spell at all but rather just a puff of powdered slowstone; and her exit by teleportation spell seemed extremely bumpy."
"If she wasn't so powerful how the hell...?" Charming asked, and Hook nodded, pointing at him.
"Aye, that would be the bad news. She seemed about to run when she looked at Bae—at Neal and said..." He tilted his head back and closed his eyes, trying to remember the exact words. "She said, 'Oh, but what's this now? There's a net around you, boy, a spell nearly full-woven and bright with intent. All it takes is a nudge,' then she made a gesture, and teleported away. It wasn't till the slowstone wore off fully and I could turn around that I saw Bae was as he is now."
"So, wait." Emma leaned forward like a hound on the scent, eyes narrowing. "There was already a spell on Neal? She just, I don't know...all the text was typed up and all she did was press enter."
"I don't know what that last bit refers to, but I'm going to say yes."
"So far it seems like good news," the king pointed out. "We're back to thinking she's a low-level threat."
Hook grimaced. "You might think so, but consider this; if she didn't really cast the spell, it's unlikely she could undo it even if we captured her." Swan dropped her head into her hands again and Charming massaged his temples like he was getting a headache. "Moreover," he continued, perversely pleased to be inflicting his unpleasant theories on someone else. "Who do we know that could have left this spell almost full-cast? Who is that powerful, and that subtle, and would have had a strong interest in a second-chances spell of this nature?"
Father and daughter both swore, and Charming restlessly got to his feet. "Rumplestiltskin!"
"That is indeed my fear," said Hook solemnly.
"Wait, hold on," Emma said, scowling more darkly than ever. "Are you saying you think Gold's alive?"
"No, that would almost be better. I'm saying that I think the only person who knows enough about this spell to do anything about it is dead." They all stood a moment and thought on that unpleasant prospect before Hook shook himself and gave a perfunctory bow to the two. "Well, as pleasant as this interlude has been, I have an appointment at Miss Swan's quarters." He smirked at Emma. "Now there's a phrase I will never tire of."
She made as if to punch him, but Charming stepped in front of her, rolling his eyes. "Come on, you guys, now is not the time." He then gave Hook a glare that could cut glass. "Not that there's ever a time I'll appreciate that kind of remark."
"Considering the number of inhabitants of this castle who have walked into you and Milady Snow in, ah, certain situations—" This time Charming didn't stop Emma's threatening step, and Hook laughed as he darted out the door.
