A/N: Not sure yet where I'm gonna go with this story yet. Not that it's going to be long (because it's not), but I'm not sure yet how I want this to end. I find the close-call stories sometimes a little boring (omfg, he tried to kill himself but now he's gonna be fiiiiine~), but on the other hand, killing Kurt is just wrong! I don't wanna be mean like that, not really. XD
Summary: Kurt Hummel didn't consider himself suicidal - he never wanted to die. The only problem was that he had already stopped trying to live long ago.
It wasn't like he didn't see that everything was wrong.
And in Puck's opinion, that was the most horrid thing of all: obviously, everything was out of the ordinary and Kurt was coming crashing down, right in front of all of their ignorant faces, and no-one did a damn thing. Nothing. They just shut their eyes and pretended that they had nothing to worry about.
And it was just as frightening as it was confusing, because while Puck had never really bothered to try befriend the gay kid, he still cared. And he had thought that other glee kids cared too, because really, they were one crazy, messed up family, helping each other through the hard times and laughing along during the good ones. On some level, Puck had always counted on that.
So why was nobody doing anything to help Kurt when he was so obviously wasting away right in front of them?
Granted, neither was he. He was pretty sure that Kurt wouldn't appreciate any kind of help from him, that he would just shut off completely and lash out. And that was why he was so mad that nobody did anything: even if he couldn't be the one to help, there should have been so many others to offer the boy their support.
He kind of wanted to punch all of their faces in so things could go back from dreadfully wrong to right before it was too late.
Still, when he got Finn's panicked phonecall that didn't really make much sense at all, he finally understood something that he should have seen coming all along, and should've tried to prevent from happening from the moment he first realized that no, everything wasn't alright.
Puck realized that Kurt Hummel wasn't okay, hadn't been for a while; realized that all he had needed had been for someone to notice, anyone, to care.
It was so simple and easy request, really. All the kid had asked for.
None of them had given him either of those things.
It was a simple secret that no-one really knew; Santana loved being part of the Glee Club. It wasn't that she was desperate to express herself through singing, but she really enjoyed the feeling while doing so that it was where she belonged. Where all of the Glee kids belonged.
She was a bitch and she knew it, and really, it was something that she wanted to be. Santana the bitch, Santana the HBIC, BAMF, whatever. She didn't show compassion and she didn't give a damn about other people - at least, not when there was nothing in it for her. (With the exception of Brittany, of course, but she was always an exception.)
It didn't mean that she didn't notice when someone was hurting. It didn't mean that she didn't care when someone was struggling to keep their head held up high and failing.
In all honesty, she had always admired Kurt Hummel.
He was proud, fierce and had a wit worth of even her respect. He didn't let anyone stand in-between him and his goals, and most importantly, he knew who he was and wouldn't change it for anyone. (Well, except for the time when he dressed like a butch and sang Mellencamp.) Santana admired that. Anyone who knew the kid couldn't help but admire that.
And it was probably for that very reason that people wanted to beat him, to see him break. She was pretty sure that there were on-going bets that who would be the one to actually make the kid fall apart.
Which was very stupid, in her opinion, because it was obvious that Kurt had already fallen apart.
It wasn't like she didn't see the difference. Santana wasn't exactly sure what had been the turning point. It didn't matter. The most beatiful boy she had ever known had been shot down and the free bird whose singing she was now earning to hear wasn't about to fly ever again. It was a shame, really.
Kurt was - or had been, back when he was still whole - such a beatiful piece of art, that it felt so wrong that people didn't stop and try to see past the frames it was captured in, see the actual painting.
But Santana was Santana, and she wasn't supposed to give a damn, so she continued to be a coward and hide her insecureties behing her cold mask of indifference.
Only Brittany was there to see it crumble and fall away when the news of Kurt reached her.
