Second chapter is up! I hope you like it and please give me feedback :D Thanks!


Today The Boy Who Lives A Lot Farther Than Across The Street Manages To Stump Me

"Okay so uh, first things first. Do you take any medication for the fainting? Maybe Somethin' like Benzodiazepines? If not I think ya should-"

"I don't take meds and don't plan on it." I hated medication. It always tasted like shit and the results were rarely worth the side effects.

"Oh um so then that's fine too." Crap Butters looked upset now. He glanced down and picked at his fingernails quickly. "We can try things other than medication like Copying Skills and Gradual Exposure. Or maybe Systematic Desination." I had no clue what he was talking about, but I was glad to see he didn't look like he was close to tears anymore. "What do ya think Kenny? What are somethings that make ya happy?" He was getting really close to me now, his eyes expectant.

"I don't know. Why are you asking me this?"

"Well I was thinkin' that when you think a blood ya think a your deceased family members right? So if we associate a happy memory an blood is somehow involved you won't think a the bad memory anymore, get it?" I got it, but I didn't know how we'd do it. Or how I could use this to sleep with him somehow. "This may sound kinda strange, but I think that if we get to know each other a bit better and I can understand ya better I'll be able to think a somethin'." This situation was falling quickly into the friend zone territory and I hadn't been given time to think of a way to climb out.

"What da ya think?" Butters face was starting to fall again and I had no clue what to say. Do I say yes and take the friend approach? What other alternative do I have?

"Awh hamburgers I shouldn't a said that. We only just met today an.." It sounded like he was close to tear now. This was getting to be a lot more harder than I had originally planned. My brain wasn't working and Butters just kept on blubbering nonsense. I made a mistake I would have never done if I was thinking straight and I still wanted Butters SO BAD it almost physically hurt.

I got up from Butters's carpet and walked slowly to him at his desk. "Ken what are ya..." He trailed off as I got closer, his eyes got as big as saucers. I put my hands on both of the arm rests giving him the option to either push me aside and bolt or let me continue. I knew he was a big fat softie and he didn't have the heart to shove me away. I leaned forward until Butters had backed all the way up into his seat. He was completely silent, mouth gaped open in a small O.

"You want to know how to make happy memories with me?" I asked, licking my lips and leaning in even closer. "Fine then."

It took what felt like centuries for him to come up with a response. His eyes searched mine for a competent answer. I could read him like a book. All of his thoughts and feeling showed in his eyes. He was extremely confused and for some reason worried. It wasn't the ideal outcome for me, but at least I could brace myself for rejection. "A course I wanna make memories with ya Ken. This disability a yours is no joke an I wanna help as best as I can, even if it's not very much, cause you're so nice to me and no one but Tweek ever really talks to me an I know I can't do much, but I'm gonna try my darndest to help ya cause that's what ya deserve for bein' so kind to a fella like me."

I retracted almost immediately. "I don't think I understand."

Butters looked like he was either about to piss himself or run away. He covered his face in his hands and shook his head back and forth. I could see matching bright pink cheeks between his fingers. I stood and waited for him to calm down because I didn't really know what else to do. I could audibly hear his breath, sucking air through his nose then out through gritted teeth. After minutes of repeating the same thing over and over again he removed his hands from his face. Butters looked up at me and smiled, but it didn't look happy to me. "It's fine if ya don't understand. That's not your fault."

"...Butters I-"

He abruptly stood up and stared down at his feet. "I think it's about time ya go home."

"Okay."

-.-.-

It had only been one day and I felt like I had deduced a lot about Butters within that time span.

One, he was seriously smart.

Two, he liked to be liked by people.

And three, I think he was dealing with something much bigger than Hemophobia here.

I didn't know what to make of it. There was something up with the way Butters reacted to the slightest thing I said or didn't say like he was cling onto my every word. There was really nothing else to think about it, I just didn't know at the time what a big impact everything little interaction made on Butters. I didn't even want to think on the subject too long fearing I'd delve into something too big for me.

The tips of my ears were jagged from getting frostbitten when I was a child. Other than that, my entire body, especially my hands, nose, and toes felt frozen tonight. Temperatures in South Park tended to range from really cold to why the fuck aren't you dead yet. Butters happened to kick me out of his house on a day of the latter.

I knew he wasn't the kind of person to leave me in the snow out of bitterness or something similar. Some of that was admittedly based purely on his looks, but also he had initially been way too nice to be that kind of person.

So why was I trudging through the snow again? I rubbed my hands together and blew hot air in them. Following the same familiar pattern until I reached the shack I liked to call home occasionally. The distance it took me to get from Butters's house to here was not in my favor.

I walked through the junk yard better known as my front lawn and knocked quietly on the door twice. Finding that it was unlocked as usual I slipped inside and shut the door behind me slowly, not allowing it to creak. In the living room/ kitchenette was a tube television playing a rerun of a NASCAR race from a few years back. My dad sprawled out on the dirty couch snoring loudly with an empty bottle of beer in one hand and the TV remote in the other.

I slowly reached for the remote in his hand and turned the TV off. After making sure he hadn't woken up I slipped past him into the kitchen. I grabbed the Great Value Apple Jacks and ate a few dry from the box. I made my way down the hall hopping from one floor board to the next.

Until one of them creaked too loudly.

"Kenny? What are you doin' awake? You have school tomorrow don't you?" My dad's voice slurred slightly as he attempted to stand, swaying a bit in his effort.

"Yeah I was asleep. I just needed to turn off the TV." I lied. My hands gripped the box behind my back. His vision was probably blurry enough that he didn't notice.

He nodded lazily and sat back down. "G'night." He fell asleep almost instantly.

I kept on slowly making my way to my room. If mom heard me she wouldn't be taking any of my lies.

I snuck into my room, slide the cereal box under my bed, and crept under the covers. I blinked a few times, twisting in the sheets left to right trying to get comfortable.

A wave of sadness overtook me and I didn't understand why. Know matter what happy memory I thought of it wouldn't disappear. It made my heart heavy yet weak. Decidedly, I embraced it like a long-lost friend, letting the pain wrap around my chest until I was filled to the brim with despair. It was unexpectedly comfortable enough to ease me to sleep.