A/N: Thank you for all who are going on this journey with me. I hope you like the AU I have created and enjoy the read. I do like to know your thoughts, if you can please review. NC


Chapter 2

Excitement and joy raced through Jack at the thought of being able to see his mother and hear her speak. He had known her from being in her womb and felt her every emotion, but it wasn't the same. She would talk and sing to him before he was born and he could feel the love she had for him, even up until her giving birth and dying so he could live. He was confused and didn't understand that or why he was this big when he was almost five days old. Jack tapped a key and brought up the first video and pressed the play button.

He leaned back against the headboard with a small smile on his lips as his mother started talking to him. He reached a finger and ran it over the screen wishing he could just once feel her touch. She explained that she was doing these videos so he would know about her and have something to remember her by. Kelly talked about her childhood and where she grew up and the things she did. She told him her likes and dislikes and about the first boy she fell in love with. She talked about her parents and how much they loved her and encouraged her to follow her dreams. When the video ended he thought about all the things he had learned about his mother as warmth spread through him.

Not wanting to wait any longer, he pulled up the next video and started watching it. This one told of her school years and trying to decide what she wanted to do with her life. She told Jack about college and where she excelled and fell short. Kelly talked about mistakes she had made in her life and how she learned how to correct them. She commented about him not seeing these for a long time since he was a baby, not knowing about the rapid growth that would happen to him when he was born. She told him things she hoped he got to experience and knew that Castiel would be a good father to him. He smiled when she turned the laptop to show Castiel standing across the room and told him to say something. Castiel stuttered and said he wasn't sure what he was supposed to say and said he needed to fix dinner before leaving. Jack's heart sang when he heard his mother's laughter at Castiel's antics and told him he was a good man and she knew he would be in good hands. She knew Castiel would take care of him and keep him safe and guide him as he grew up. As quickly as the feelings of happiness filled him, the feelings of loss and deep sadness replaced them because Castiel wasn't there to provide those things for him.

He sighed deeply as the video ended and looked at the last one. It was dated the day he was born and knew these were the last words his mother had spoken. Jack couldn't stop his hand from trembling as he clicked on the video and hovered the cursor over play. He wasn't sure that he understood these feelings that filled him or how to handle them. He finally pressed play and watched his mother fill the screen again, very much pregnant with him. She began to talk...

"Jack, my precious son, I hope you know how much I love you and how much I wish I could be with you in person to tell you these things. You have to be brave and not fear what is ahead of you. I know Castiel will explain to you who your father is and what you are, but know this first and foremost; you are my son, my flesh and blood. I know there will probably be those out there that will want to do you harm because of your father because they think you will be like him. But Jack, don't believe them. I think you have much more of me in you than your father and that will keep you on the right path. You are unique and you are going to do great things. I just know it. You are good Jack and don't let anyone tell you differently. I know deep down in my heart that you will be a kind, compassionate, caring, and loving person. You be yourself and let Castiel guide you and show you how much you can do to help the world, not destroy it. I know you will grow up to be a fine, strong man. Don't be sad that I am gone, that is how it had to be and I wouldn't trade anything for the time I had with you inside of me. Your love shone through even before you were born. My baby boy, I will treasure every moment we had together and will never forget you. I know Castiel will keep these for you and now you have something of me that you can keep to remember me by. I know you are coming today, I can feel it and soon you will be in this world but don't be scared. You will be loved by others just as much as I love you. Good-bye my precious, sweet boy. I love you..."

As the video ended, Jack suddenly felt a tightening in his chest that ached so hard he could hardly breathe. His stomach was churning and his face was wet with tears. He closed the laptop and clutched it tightly to his chest hoping this would make him feel closer to his mother. Jack got up and went down the hall to the bedroom below him and pushed the door open letting the dim hall light shine into the room. He saw Sam sleeping in his bed and walked into the room and over to the bed to look down at him.

"Sam?" Jack called as he reached to touch his arm.

Sam was suddenly aware of someone in the room with him and felt a touch on his arm. He startled and reached for the weapon under his pillow until he got awake enough to see Jack standing by his bed holding his mother's laptop tightly to his chest. He put the weapon back and reached to turn on the small lamp by his bed.

"Jack what is it? Is something wrong?" he asked, sliding up in the bed and adjusting his pillows so he could lean against the headboard. He saw tears on his face and quickly looked him over not seeing any signs of injury. "What is it Jack?"

"Sam something doesn't feel right. My chest hurts and my stomach feels funny," Jack said sitting down on the bed. "And tears keep coming from my eyes that I can't stop."

Sam thought for a moment and looked at the laptop as it dawned on him what was wrong. He leaned forward and placed a hand on his shoulder squeezing gently.

"Did this happen when you watched the videos your Mom left you?" he asked softly.

"Yes, especially the last one."

"What you're feeling is grief, Jack. You're sad that your Mom died and it hurts and you miss her. I know she loved you very much. It's natural, we all grieve for loved ones we lost. These feelings...They don't go away but we learn to live with them and it won't hurt quite as bad in time. At least you have the videos to help you remember her. She will always be with you in here," he said placing a hand over Jack's heart.

"But what about Castiel? Mom said he was going to take care of me. Be my father and raise me, but he's dead too. I'm alone and there's no one to do that now."

"Well, you have me and you have Dean. We'll take care of you," Sam offered.

"I don't think Dean likes me very much," Jack told him, his voice low. "He did want to kill me when he first saw me."

"Dean was upset about losing Cas and our Mom. You just need to give him a little time, he'll come around. But you have me and I'll help you however I can. I can be a surrogate father to you."

Jack wiped his face on the sleeve of his shirt and thought about Sam's word. "You know I think I would like that," he agreed after a few moments of thinking about it.

"Why don't we get you back to bed and if you want we can talk about this tomorrow after we've rested," Sam said. He got up, slipping on a pair of sweats before wrapping an arm around Jack's shoulders to guide him back to his room. Sam turned on the small lamp by the bed and pulled down the covers for Jack. He looked back at Jack to see he still had his jeans on.

"Why don't you change into your sweats? They'll be more comfortable to sleep in than the jeans."

"Alright," Jack said. He laid the laptop on the pillow beside his own and went to the bag to get them out and change. Once he was ready, Sam held the covers so he could get under them and tucked him in, brushing his hair back from his forehead.

"How 'bout I stay a bit until you fall asleep?" Sam asked sensing Jack was still upset.

"I would like that. I don't think I want to be alone."

Sam pulled the chair from the desk to the bed and sat down. "You know I lost my Mom when I was a baby too. I never got to know her and it was a long time before I learned things about her. You see, my Dad and Dean, they grieved for her, just like you're doing for your Mom. It hurt them too much to talk about it. So Dean raised me and took care of me. He took over the job as Mom. He was my protector, best friend, and big brother. He was my hero growing up, I wanted to be just like him and tried to imitate him," Sam chuckled as fond memories surfaced. "He would tell me a little about our Mom and how much she loved us. He would sing to me when I was little this song she used to sing to us as a lullaby, called Hey Jude. It was her favorite Beatles song. Losing her this time hurt both of us more now than back then. The heart ache you feel, well Dean and I feel it too for our Mom and for Cas. He was like a brother to us. He was family too. It hurts so much now, like it won't go away. I was starting to become closer to her..." Sam trailed off and he swallowed the lump in his throat and blinked away his tears. "So I know how you feel and it's okay to have those feelings, they are normal. Your Mom left you something very special with those videos that you can have to remember her by. She wanted you to know how much she loved you and believed it you. I want you to know, since Cas is not around to take care of you, me and Dean will and you are not alone. Now close your eyes and go to sleep. I'll sit here for a few more minutes."

Dean stepped from his bedroom to go to the bathroom and listened to the silence surrounding him. He walked down the hall and stepped inside to do his business and was going to return to bed when a voice caught his attention. It sounded familiar and he crept sock footed down the hall and paused at his brother's door glancing in and seeing the bed empty. Dean moved quietly to the next doorway and stopped outside the room and listened to his brother talking about their Mom to Jack. He bristled at first because he still blamed Jack for Lucifer taking their Mom away from them. Dean wasn't sure what videos Sam was talking about and figured Kelly must have left them. He frowned at the last part about taking care of Jack and wasn't sure he could do that.

He knew Jack couldn't be left on his own since he was a ticking time bomb with powers they knew nothing about. When Sam stopped talking, Dean crept quietly back down the hall to his bedroom to ponder over what he had heard. He knew Sam was already getting attached to the kid and that worried him. He was afraid it might cloud his judgment if it came down to killing him. He closed the door behind him and twisted the lock not wanting to be disturbed. Dean got back in bed and put his headphones back on to listen to his music. He was sure Sam would want to talk in the morning about everything and he wasn't looking forward to it. He didn't know if he could stay with Jack being here and the memories he provoked.

spn

Sam saw Jack's breathing had evened out and he seemed to be sleeping now. He noticed Jack had let his hand reach up and grip the laptop that lay near his head as if to help him be close to his Mom. That was his connection to her and he didn't want to lose that. Sam quietly got up and turned off the light before leaving the bedroom and going back to his own. He left the door open so he could hear if Jack needed him. New feelings began to build inside of him that he had not felt before. They were ones that wanted to protect Jack and shield him from the things and ones that would want to harm him. He was taking on a father's instinct and hoped this wouldn't drive a wedge between him and his brother. He was starting to understand how Dean felt all those years ago when he became a father and mother to him and raised him. He was more of a father figure to Sam than their own father had been.

He lay in bed thinking about how to convince Dean that they needed to take care of Jack and nurture him, not try to destroy him just because his father was the devil. He was sure Jack could learn to control his powers and use them for good. Deep down inside of him, Sam thought Jack was going to be the way to get their Mom back. If he opened the rift one time, he was sure Jack could do it again and they could go rescue her. Kelly was right, Jack had her genes in him and he thought those would shine through and over shadow his father's genes.

Sleep wanted to evade him, but he closed his eyes and tried to rest, knowing the morning was going to be a trying time for them but all he saw was his mother's smiling face and behind her, Cas, looking at him like he does. Having to talk to Jack about his loss opened up his own feelings of loss. His chest tightened and he couldn't stop the soft sob that escaped from between his lips. Not having a mom growing up but having her back now made him see what he had missed out on. He could still feel her gentle touch to his face when she said 'I love you boys'. Sam rolled to his side and buried his face into his pillow so he could grieve and let out the bottled up emotions that had been locked away. He was usually the one, who was too emotional, but circumstances made that change some and Sam knew he needed this outlet. He needed to feel the loss, the pain, the heart ache so he could start working on a way to get her back. He knew there was nothing he could do to bring Cas back and was going to have to accept that, but it didn't make the pain any less. His sobs finally lessened and his breathing hitched as he finally dozed back off.