"Because we cannot accept the truth of transience, we suffer." - Shunryu Suzuki

~16 years ago~

It was always that damned Scarecrow.

I wiped away the crusted blood from the corners of my mouth, its coppery taste still lingering on my tongue. My lower back ached from the impact of my body hitting the ground, but I chose to ignore it. I was too annoyed that Hatake Kakashi was standing over me, two fingers cordially extended to me in the typical shinobi etiquette whenever a spar ended. It was even more of a courtesy for the victor to offer it first to the losing opponent.

And that loser opponent was me, Yukino Reira.

"Spar, set. Match goes to Hatake Kakashi. Lock fingers, both of you," a nameless proctor called out.

I gritted my teeth, glaring up at the bane of my existence. Kakashi's eyes were as impassive as ever, his lower face hidden beneath that stupid mask he insisted on wearing. This was the fourth time I'd lost to this jerk, and each time I had to touch fingertips with him, my disdain for him grew that much more. So far, I was still stuck right behind him as number two. Or the first loser as he liked to call it.

"Are you going to make me wait any longer?" Kakashi asked, lazily grinning under that mask of his. "I'm getting sort of tired."

I rolled my eyes, and picked myself up from the ground. "Shut up, Scarecrow."

I hastily brushed my fingers against his, and started for the exit.

"Yukino Reira!" The procter shouted at me, "Get back here and do it properly! How many times do I have to tell you-"

"Sensei," I interrupted, not bothering to turn back around. "Sorry. I'll do it correctly next time. I need to go study now."

"You said that last time, you insolent girl! Your father will be hearing about this-"

I crossed the threshold to the dojo's exit, letting the no-name teacher's ramblings fade out into silence. I wasn't trying to be so brazenly disrespectful, but that stupid Hatake tested my patience like no other nowadays. Every little thing he did pissed me off. Mostly because no matter how hard I studied or how hard I trained, I couldn't get out of second place. I was always coming up short compared to him. And I hated it. So I hated him, too.

Finally out of sight and back at the academy, I made my way straight to the library. Aside from it all, I seriously did need to study. The preliminary exams for Anbu Black-Ops were coming up in a few weeks, and I refused to accept anything but a perfect score. Coincidentally, I heard that Kakashi was also going to try out as well, and of course that only added fuel for the fire of determination I had burning in me. I would succeed and one day beat the straw out of the lanky Scarecrow. I had to succeed.

"Yo, Reira."

I glanced back to see Shiranui Genma turn the corner, heading my way.

"Whoa, why's your face all scrunched up? It makes you look ugly."

"And the best feature about you is that straw you're chewing," I replied smoothly.

He laughed, and all the tension in my body was released. I could always count on Gen to say something and make me forget all about the anger Kakashi elicited from me. He was my closest friend, after all.

I smiled back cheekily, and in response he gently pinched my face as he'd always done. "There's my Reira," he chuckled. "much better. Still ugly, though."

I punched his arm jokingly. That was my Gen. And That was just the way we were.

"Cut it out, Gen. I need to focus. I'll catch you later."

Still, I felt his presence follow me into the library. I wasn't really surprised that he kept near me when I gathered my materials from the shelves and took a seat beside me at the study tables. "I'm being serious," I warned, opening one of my books.

"But Reira," he whined. "It's already a given that you're gonna pass. It won't be long before I never see you againnnnn."

"Stop being so dramatic. It's not like we're getting younger. It's bound to happen that we'll get on with our careers."

I flipped a page.

"But still, we're only fourteen."

"About to be fifteen," I corrected, not bothering to look up.

"But still-"

I sighed, glancing up from a particularly interesting paragraph about charka expulsion.

"You know how my father is, Gen."

He twisted the twine in his mouth, audibly grinding the straw between his teeth.

"Yeah," he grunted. "I know."

"Then you understand why I'm trying so hard."

He looked away from me then.

"Besides," I tugged on a strand of hair right below his bandana-like hitai-ate. "How much time we do or don't spend together doesn't dictate the strength of our friendship, right?"

"That's not exactly the point I'm trying to make, Reira."

"Then what is it?" I asked.

He faced me suddenly, and my blue eyes met the warmth of his chocolate ones. He was close enough that I was able to see the small splatter of freckles across the bridge of his nose. I'd been close to Gen several times before, but the concentration in his gaze changed the atmosphere. He reached forward and cupped my face in one of his hands. They were warm, just like his irises. "Reira," He murmured, and moved closer.

My face involuntarily flushed, and I pulled out of his grasp.

"Well?" I mumbled, finding myself half-embarrassed. "What is it?"

Gen also looked away, moving back to his original spot.

"I was gonna tell you to do something about that ugly look on your face," he said. It was something he would usually say, but it somehow sounded only half-hearted. He smiled, but it felt forced.

"Yeah, I know," I said awkwardly.

And then there was silence between us.

I didn't know what else to do, so I just went back to my book. It stayed like that between us for a few minutes, and I couldn't pay attention at all. But before I could say anything about it, Gen was the one to break the silence.

"So," he cleared his throat, standing up. "I guess I'll leave you to your studies, huh?"

I nodded. "Yeah."

"I'll catch you later then."

I watched him leave out of the corner of my eye. When he was out of sight, I let out an audible breath. I wanted to wonder what just happened between us, and why it felt so uncomfortable in that moment, but I couldn't. I needed to make sure I memorized the book in front of me, word for word. I was positive I'd be quizzed on it when I got home.

Forcibly expelling chakra outside of the normal travel channels in the body requires a multitask of concentration and action on the wielder's part. Although there are no known hand signs to assist with this practice, it is common for the user to combine this technique with a ninjustu of their own.

Just when I finished copying down the last portion of the chapter, I caught a figure approaching my direction. I didn't bother to pick-up the chakra signature, or even look up. I assumed it was Genma again.

I thought that this would be a chance to clear up any awkwardness leftover from the last time, so when he made his way to the front of the table, I rattled off with something we'd normally joke around with.

"Why don't you take a picture? It'll last longer," I said, pointing the pencil to my face as a matter-of-factly.

"No thanks." A sickly cheerful voice answered me, and immediately I regretted not looking up prior to opening my mouth. It was a voice I dreaded hearing every single time.

Sure enough, when I lifted my head up, it was none other than Hatake Kakashi standing in front of me.

"What do you want, Scarecrow?"

"I don't want anything from you, Yukino-san," Kakashi replied platonically. "I'm just here to tell you Sensei is looking for you."

I snorted. "And why would I care about that?"

"Because it's Yukino-Hiroki sensei."

I dropped the pencil I'd been holding.

Shit.

There Kakashi went with that infuriating smile of his.

"Your father wants me to take you to see him."


I walked quietly behind Hatake, which was an extreme rarity to see. I couldn't say anything at this point, and it irritated me that my father took it upon himself to ask my rival to bring me to him.

My father and I had never had a fond family relationship. My mother was killed in action when I was young, and ever since my father has been relentless in my training to one day become the Top Anbu Black-Ops kunoichi in Konoha. Forget about the father/daughter relationship; the only thing him and I had to tie us as relatives were the sapphire hue in our eyes.

We made our way to the third floor corridor, to the door with my family name etched on the wooden plaque next to it. My Otou-san's deep voice bellowed to us enter before either of us could knock.

"Thank you, Kakashi-san. I apologize if my daughter caused any trouble on the way here."

I rolled my eyes. I guess it would be an appropriate time to mention that my father praised Kakashi, which is I guess just another reason on my list of Why I Hate Hatake.

"Not any more trouble than she usually is."

"Excuse me?" I turned my head sharply.

He merely peered at me from his peripheral vision, flashing an idle smile. "You didn't hear me?"

I clenched my fists, the urge to lunge at him growing with each second that passed.

"Reira." Otou-san interjected sternly. "Is that how you talk to your classmate?"

And now I was being scolded by my father in front of the Scarecrow.

I remained indignantly silent. Like hell I'd give either of them the benefit of embarrassing me.

"Fine," my father conceded. "You stubborn girl." He gestured towards Kakashi. "This is why you've failed to surpass him. You lack control of your emotions. And you go off whimsically playing nonsense with that punk kid, Shiranui Genma."

My finger nails dug painfully into my palms, but it was all I could do without making a scene. "That's irrelevant. What did you want to see me for?"

"Ah, I'm glad you mentioned that," Otou-san smiled placidly.

My stomach sunk. I knew that look too well to know that it usually didn't come with the delivery of good news.

"I heard from Okuyama-sensei that you lost to Kakashi-san yet again. How many times does this make? Four?"

What a tattle-tale of a teacher.

"So for the benefit of both of you, I'd like for you to start receiving supplementary lessons from Kakashi-san."

Just damn it all, and send me to hell.

"It would be in the interests of you both to cooperate with this proposal. For you, Kakashi-san, it would be another accomplishment that I can personally vouch for on your application for the Black-Ops. And with your training, Reira, you will have a higher chance of passing the exams."

"And hopefully," he added, "You can curb my daughter's attitude problem."

"So you're basically saying that I wouldn't have a chance of passing the exams otherwise?" I asked heatedly.

"Tsk, you need to learn that those fleeting sentiments of yours will one day cause you to suffer."

"I don't mind," Kakashi included randomly.

I stared bewilderingly at him. "Are you kidding me?"

"I don't think it's a bad idea, actually," he said nonchalantly. "You seem to have developed this grudge against me. It's a little annoying, so I'd like for you to know I don't particularly care about your personal endeavors. After all, we might one day be teammates. If you manage to pass your preliminary exams, I don't want to be on a team with such a weak link."

"I refuse. I completely object to this idea," I said, shaking my head, choosing to ignore the insult altogether.

"Actually Reira, you don't have a say in this," Otou-san interrupted. "You will study under Kakashi-san."

I could feel my cheeks continue to grow hotter with anger. I'd long exceeded my boiling point, so if I couldn't say anything about this, I'd do the next best thing.

I tossed my dark hair behind my shoulders, turned around, and walked right out of that office.

I could hear the screech of a chair slide against the flooring. I could also hear my Otou-san shouting, demanding my return. But just like everything else in my life, I ignored it.

And if Yukino-sensei ordered that I stay under that damned Scarecrow's guidance, I'd ignore that too.


However, that was proving to be harder than expected. I'd sensed Kakashi's chakra behind me for sometime now, despite him cloaking it well enough. The sun was going down over the Naka river, and the last thing I planned to do was have him on my back for the rest of the day. Having to go home to by beloved father was bad enough. Spending the majority of my day with Hatake was downright unbearable.

"Can you go away now, you stalker?" I called out into the open.

Sure enough, Kakashi jumped down from a nearby tree. "Not bad. You managed to pick up on my chakra."

"Because you suck at concealing it," I muttered, rolling my eyes for the millionth time that day.

"Also, I'm not stalking you," he explained, easily falling into stride beside me. "Your father asked me to see you home."

"My father," I seethed, "asked you to train with me. I don't need you stalking me every waking moment of every day."

"Why do you dislike me so much?" Kakashi asked as we crossed over the river's bridge.

It managed to stop me in my tracks. I raised an eyebrow. "Dislike you?" I repeated.

Kakashi gave me a weird, modest type of look, scratching at that even weirder silver hair of his. "Well, yes. Your feelings towards me are pretty much apparent."

"Apparently not."

"Huh?" He asked.

"I don't dislike you," I explained, glinting at him under the setting sun. "I hate you."

Kakashi seemed to contemplate it for a moment, then proceeded to step ahead of me. "Alright then, why do you hate me?"

"Because you're perfect," I blurted out, immediately wishing there was some way to suck them back into my mouth, and store them deep within the subconscious of my mind.

I guess it was enough to stop him mid-stride.

"Perfect?" Kakashi let out a dry laugh. "Aren't you assuming things? I don't recall having a proper conversation with you, unless you've been counting the times you've cursed at me."

"With all the times I've heard about you at home from my father, I don't need to have a proper conversation with you," I replied icily.

This earned me a quizzical glance from him. I ignored it, and continued across the bridge. "I don't want to talk about this anymore. Go away."

But of course he didn't go away. He fell into a silent step behind me, but at this point I was just grateful for the quiet. For the rest of the way home, I was busy cursing at my inner-self for not having enough discipline to keep my thoughts to myself. When we reached the doorstep to my house, I heaved a sigh of relief.

"You can leave now," I pointed out, kneeling to retrieve the house key I kept hidden under one of the garden stones. "Thanks for the supervised walk home. I can't imagine how I'd ever get here on my own."

Just at that moment, I heard the door creak open, simultaneously with "Reira, is that how you thank Kakashi-san for making sure you made it home safely?"

Could this day get any worse?

My father appeared in the doorway, dressed down in his house attire. Under the tangerine-tinged sky, his dark hair appeared peppery.

"He was just leaving, weren't you Hatake?" I asked dauntingly, urging him with my facial expression to leave.

He gave a cordial bow. "I was."

I silently thanked the universe for all things merciful, and made my way across the treshold.

I can finally get away from Scarecrow, and my father, and just relax into my own studies and-

"Oh, that's too bad. I wanted to thank you for seeing my daughter home. Would you like to stay for dinner, Kakashi-san?"

I whirled around, desperately trying to make eye contact with Kakashi. His eyes greeted mine with that same maddeningly cheery expression he had.

Don't you dare, Scarecrow! I mouthed, vehemently shaking my head. You better not-

"It would be rude of me to decline. I'll take you up on that offer. Thank you, Yukino-sensei."

I silently cursed the universe for all things twisted and unfair. Coincidentally, as if the universe was responding to my curses, my father's words replayed in my mind.

"Those fleeting sentiments of yours will one day cause you to suffer."

I had an ominous feeling that those days had already started.

And it was all because of that Scarecrow, Hatake Kakashi.

Fuck. You. I mouthed venemously. It really started to feel like Kakashi got some sick kicks from intentionally provoking a reaction from me.

It really did.

And when my father turned his back to welcome him into our home, Kakashi responded to me with a wink.

Yeah, fuck him.


Author's note: Hey guys! Thanks to everyone that started following my story with the prologue I uploaded last week. To anyone new joining this story, welcome to Heart in Hand, a KakashixOC lovesick story. As the rating suggests, this is an M story. As a fair warning, there will be several more counts of adult language and themes throughout the storyline. So, thanks to all who have decided to invest their time into it! I really enjoyed writing this chapter, and I'm even more excited for the chapters to come. Next time, you'll see what goes down in the Yukino household during dinnertime and much more character development! Please feel free to let me know what you think with a review (they're greatly appreciated) and what you think of my girl, Reira.

Until next time,

-Neko