CHAPTER ONE
TWO WEEKS EARLIER
AUGUSTA, MAINE
It wouldn't be more than a month since Jo and Ellen had died. Since their last chance of killing the Devil had died with them. Colt didn't work. Then what would?
Dean and Sam needed some time off, but they decided that it's better to help some people now, when it's still possible. Besides, hunting was the only thing that really kept them together.
Today's job was more interesting than the other ones. They didn't know exactly what they were dealing with but all the clues pointed at Lucifer.
"We have to hide, Dean. We're not going to fight him. We can't." said Sam trying to convince his brother even though he knew how stubborn he was.
"Yeah, let's hide for the rest of our lives then" replied Dean with a distant voice
"You didn't have that policy with Lilith"
"I didn't help Lilith to kill people."
Sam doesn't respond. He looks outside Impala's window.
"At least, wait for Cas to come back" said Sam, more calmly this time.
"Castiel is gone for a month now. I can't find him and he doesn't contact. What makes you think that he will show up this time?" Dean replied.
Sam knew that his big brother was angry with the angel. The tone in his voice didn't show any concern but Dean never called Castiel with his full name. That must mean something….
"Even if we find Lucifer what are we gonna do? How are we gonna fight?" Sam finally said.
"Dunno. But it's far more better than sitting here and do nothing" said Dean.
"Dean you have to talk-"
"You have to find a girlfriend and stop telling me what I have to do" Dean hissed.
He turned the music on, the sign to his brother that he didn't want to talk about it anymore.
They arrived at the motel room. Sam went to buy a drink or something like that. Dean didn't really listen.
He lied to the bed. He was tired but he couldn't sleep. When was the last time he slept? Maybe when Ellen and Jo had died. He knew that it was his fault. Jo died to help them. But it was pointless. Another pointless death, another pointless sacrifice. Cas had sacrificed everything to help him, but he failed. Jo gave her life to help him, and he failed again.
How could he sleep after all? With that burden?
And where in the hell Castiel was? He was really gone. Not a single word. Just silence.
He was left alone with the failure.
"Hello, Dean" a voice broke Dean's thoughts.
Dean turned around and he show Raphael. Fuck.
"Wow. You are free" said with his familiar sarcastic-not scared at all tone.
"I told you that I wouldn't stay there forever." Replied with a sarcastic smile.
"Good for you….So…What do you want?"
"I want you to say yes."
Dean rolled his eyes and got up.
"Which part of NO you don't understand?" he replied adding a smirk in the end of the sentence.
"Why are you so selfish? Just say yes and save the world" Raphael replied stiffly.
"Don't tell me about selfishness. You are the one who let this happen just because you can't stand your daddy's absence."
"You have to watch your tone to me, boy. I can do things that will damage your pretty face forever"
"No I am soooo scared" said Dean sarcastically.
Raphael laughed.
"Have any of you considered the possibility to visit to a psychiatrist?" said Dean surprised by the archangel's reaction. "How did you trace me?"
"I have my informant. Now I need an answer. And I believe you are going to give me the answer I want soon" Raphael demanded.
"Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe that I will have another beer" Dean smirked.
"You don't want to say yes now, fine. Just tell me where your friend is." Raphael smirked.
"Which friend? I have too many friends."
"Castiel"
"He's not my friend. I don't know where he's…He just vanished." said Dean. It was sounding more like he was talking to himself. "Can't you trace him?"
"If I could would I ask you?"
"You also know that I am not going to say yes to Michael but you keep asking me. You don't seem to get the answers easily. So of-" Dean couldn't finish his sentence and he coughs.
"You better cut this attitude with me, boy. I told you that I am far more better than Zachariah in torturing" Raphael said in rage as he came closer to Dean.
"Alistair would love you" Dean said, but his voice was sounding really low and weak.
Suddenly Raphael stopped what he was doing to Dean and he vanished. Dean was kinda dizzy and still in pain so he lied down. He lost his senses.
Sam gets in the room.
"Dean!" he shouts as he sees his brother lying to the floor.
He tries to wake Dean.
"Dean! Dean! Wake up damn it!" shouts Sam in worry.
Dean slowly wakes.
"Stop doing that" he said, trying to take Sam's hands of him.
"Thank God you are fine!" replied Sam in relief.
"Thanks to God I am not that fine. Raphael showed up" the old brother said and he managed to get up, just to lie to the bed again.
"Raphael? The archangel?" Sam asked.
"No. The bartender." replied Dean
He bit his lip, when he realized that he had forgot to mention that story to his brother.
He sat in the bed.
"When we were separated" he explained in a calm voice " Cas-Castiel and I trapped Raphael to see if he knows anything about God. He didn't knew a scat and we left him there and he doesn't seem to like it."
"And where is he now?" Sam said looking around.
Good question.
"Dunno. He just left. And I have another amazing question: How did he find us?"
"Because it was a trap" a female voice replied.
They both flinched. They show Anna.
"Anna?! Are you alive?" asked Sam in suspicion
"Yes, I am. The angels set up that case so you would come here" replied with a cold and distance voice.
"And what do you want?" Dean said harshly.
Sam gave his brother the 'watch you fucking tone' look but Dean ignored him.
"Mind your own business. And I would like to hear a thanks just for saving you" This time Anna's voice was even more cold.
"Ok, thank you. And why-" Anna disappeared before Dean could ask his question.
"I HATE THAT" he yelled into the air.
"Since when archangels are afraid of angels?" asked Sam, knowing that he wouldn't take a response. "Dean…" he said with hesitation " Are you ok?"
"Yes. Raphael's trick is gone. Thank no-God for that!" Dean said and lied back to the bed.
"I don't mean that…We haven't, you know, talked…about….that incident with Jo."
Incident. Nice way to say it. Sam didn't have a problem to talk about emotions, but he certainly had a problem with the dictionary.
"What do you want to talk about Sam? They are dead. Gone. For us. For nothing. There is nothing to talk about" said Dean with a tired voice which hide pain in it.
"What about Cas?"said Sam in an even lower voice, afraid of Dean's reaction
"What about him?" Dean replied coldly.
"Are you angry with him? Are you worried-"
"Why do we always have to analyze everything? I can't be angry with him! The guy gave everything for us! And I don't worth it. So he almost died for nothing…He apparently saw that we can't win…we can't even fight. So he left. I would appreciate it more if he had told me first, but what can I do? Now do I have your permission to sleep?" Dean was raising his tone as he spoke.
Sam knew that there was no space for further discussion so he left Dean to sleep.
I woke in a big empty room. It is dark and it smells something really bad. It smells…death actually. I look around. Dead bodies everywhere. I wince as I realize that I know them. All of the corpses. They are all the people I and Sammy had saved. All of them. I want to get out. To run away. But I can't. Some kind of force is keeping me here. I close my eyes. Maybe I'm just having a nightmare.
When I open them I am in Bobby's house. I hear Bobby's voice from the next room. He was begging someone not to kill him. I run to him and I saw Raphael and….myself standing in front of Bobby.
"Let him go" I scream but they don't hear me. They can't even see me. I am invisible.
"Just say yes, Dean. And your friend will live" said Raphael with a desperate tone. "Just say yes"
The other Dean looked at Bobby. His gaze was sad.
"I'm so sorry Bobby….I can't." he whispered. He turned to the archangel. "No."
Then Raphael raises his hand.
I want to move, to do something. To save him, but once again I can't.
A bright light flatters the room. After a minute the light is gone, so as Bobby. He's…dead. He's dead too. That brought tears in my eyes. I close my eyes again. This can't be real.
When I open them again I am not at Bobby's house anymore. I was at a motel room.
This time I saw me and Sam. We are arguing.
"I am not doing it!!!" Sam yells. He seems furious.
"Why not? Just because I'm the one who told you to?" the other me replies.
"I told you I can't stand telling me what to do!" my brother yells again
"Well, do you want to go? Be my guest. But don't run to me again when you are afraid!" myself replies, in the same tone.
"I am tired of all of this Dean! Is it that difficult to understand?" he says a little bit calmer this time.
"And just because you are tired, you are gonna give up? Just because you are tired you'll end the world?" Dean yells.
"Just because you were fucking tired you broke the first seal. So set the fuck up and let me go!"
I freeze at my brother's words. Who was he? He can't be him….he wouldn't tell me something like that. Or would he? I am not sure I know him anymore.
"Just don't end the world because of that" Dean says.
The other me just stares at Sam.
"Goodbye, bro" Sammy says in a sarcastic tone.
"You know I am right" myself yells but he ignores me.
"Who are you?" I whisper slowly, but I know that I won't take any answer.
Then Sam picks his bag and gets out of the room, leaving me doing nothing but stare.
I don't know why, but I follow him. Just like something is pushing me to do it.
Sam goes to the parking lot. When he opens the car's door, we suddenly appear to a garden.
"Hello Sam" Lucifer says with a big grin to his face.
"I will let you in, only if you promise me that she will be fine" Sam says in hurry.
"Have you lost your mind?" I yell but once again nobody hears me.
He can't be Sam. He can't...
And who is she? Why is she more important than me? Why is she more important than the whole damn world?
"Of course. I promise you that she will be fine. More than fine. She will be like queen." Lucifer says with a bigger grin. "We are going to clean up this world."
"I know…that's why I am doing it" he mumbles.
Lucifer smiles again.
"Ok, then. YES" Sam says
"NOOOOO!" I scream.
Then I feel dizzy. I fall.
I stand up a few moments later. He said yes. My broth- No. He wasn't my brother. Not anymore.
I am in a different room here. Again Raphael and me. I look around and I see Cas inside a fire ring.
"Will you let him die too? Just because you are selfish? Stop thinking about yourself and do something. Say yes. Just say yes." Raphael was saying with his harsh and stiff voice.
I think that this happened before Lucifer got into Sam. The angels wouldn't begging me anymore. But I don't know what to believe anymore. I take a look at me. I am looking at Cas. It seems like I want to say something but for some reason I stay silent.
"Don't say yes." Castiel says. His voice is calm and it meant to be comforting.
"I can't…let you die" myself says slowly. "But I can't say yes either…I…"my voice breaks.
Raphael touches my shoulder.
"Come on. You are not just saving your best friend. You are saving the whole world." Raphael's voice is a little but higher than a whisper.
The other Dean is just looking at Cas. He smiles.
"Don't say yes." Cas says again
"There is no time for delay. Say yes" Raphael yells. "You have no time. I want an answer now!"
"I am so sorry Cas…I just wish I wouldn't" my self's voice breaks again. I can see tears in my eyes.
"I know. It's ok" the angel says again and he smiles at me once again.
"The answer is no" the other me says slowly.
Raphael looks at me with rage. "Very well. Bye-bye bro!" Then he breaks the fire circle and he stubs Cas.
"No" myself and I whisper at the same time.
I start to feel my eyes burn. I want to go away. I want to run. I want to save them. Bobby, Cas and Sammy. But now it's too late. I can't. I can't even cry. I saw Cas dying. He looked at me-at other me - and he smiled. That was the last thing he did. How could he…? How is it possible? Why isn't he angry?
I feel tears in my eyes but I can't cry.
Now, I am in a white room. I can't see nothing but white.
"How did you let this happen?" a distant voice says. He is my dad.
"I trusted you" Jo and Ellen say together.
I look around to see where these voices are coming from, but I can't see. Just white.
"You failed" my mother says
"You could save me Dean" Sam's voice says "But you were too selfish and arrogant" he adds.
"You saw us dying and you didn't help us" Bobby says angrily
I want to answer to them. To tell them that's not my fault, but I can't. Nothing comes out.
"I gave everything for you and you sold me out" Cas says
They all start to talk together. They are screaming. I close my ears so I won't hear them. I close my eyes too.
Then there is quiet.
"How many people have to die to realize what is the best thing to do? Your friends…your brother….The whole planet? That's enough don't you thing? Or do you think that they aren't worth it?" a unfamiliar voice says softly.
"Dean! Dean!" this voice is distant. It is like it's coming from outside from wherever the hell I am.
"Dean wake up!" he says again.
I feel like flying for a second and then I open my eyes.
"Are you ok?" Sam said to his brother.
"What-what happened?" Dean said. He realized he was crying.
"You had a nightmare." Sam said with concern "Are you ok?"
"I don't know. It was so vital Sam. I saw…"Dean was saying quickly trying to understand what had happened.
"I know. You were crying…but it's over now. Just calm down" the younger brother said softly.
"Yeah… It could be a VIP movie produced by the angels…You know, to persuade me to say yes. It was epic I have to say" Dean said trying to look calm and that he doesn't care.
"Wanna let you sleep?"
Dean looked at the clock. It was 5:31.
"Nop. I am gonna have a walk. You can sleep if you want" he answered.
"Thanks for the permission" Sam replied with sarcasm.
Dean went to walk on the river's shore. It was quietly and there was a quite chill in the air. He sat in a bench.
Back in black's theme broke the silence. It was his cell's ringtone. He picked up the phone without seeing who was calling.
"Hello"
"Where are you?"
Dean didn't recognize the voice immediately.
"Cas?"
"Where are you, Dean?" Cas said with a cold voice with –according to Dean- hidden agony.
"I am on Augusta's river, what do you-?" he didn't finish his sentence since Castiel had hang up on him.
Castiel appears next to Dean.
Dean smirked.
"Look! Look who decided to show up!"
"Did Anna come here?" Castiel asked avoiding Dean's gaze.
"That's why you came?" Dean asked, trying to hide his anger and disappointment.
"Did Anna come here?" he repeated.
Dean gave him an angry look.
"Yes she did" he replied stiffly.
"Is Sam ok?" the angel asked with worry.
"Yeah, he's excellent." Dean answered without hiding his anger anymore.
"Did she tell you what she wanted?"
"No. Raphael appeared too, you know" Dean said. "So you have to-"
Castiel disappeared again.
"…be careful" the Winchester whispered. "And I am fine too, thanks for asking" he yelled at the air.
"Are you talking to yourself?" a female voice asked with a British accent.
Dean laughed.
"No…I was just talking to my cell."
He took a look at the woman. She had light-red long hair and blue eyes. Her skin was pale. She was wearing a black short skirt and a black T-shirt. She couldn't be more than 20.
"What are you doing out that early?" Dean asked flirty.
"I came here about 5 hours ago, and decided to see the town. A little odd I know." She replied with a smile.
"Do you find it interesting?"
"It could be. If you find the right people." She said with a flirty tone too.
"I may know who that people are" Dean said and grinned. "I'm Dean, by the way"
"Emily" she said and grinned back.
She sat beside him.
"Do you live here?" she asked. Her accent was clearly British, and Dean kinda liked that.
"No, I'm here for business." He replied trying to hide his interest. "What are you here for?"
"I come for business."
"And what business is that? If you don't mind…" he asked gently
"Of course I don't mind. I am like a personal assistant to someone. Sorry I can't tell you his name." she explained.
"It's ok. And can you do all the job by yourself? I mean personal assistants it's like –sorry for that- slaves."
She laughed "No. I have a collaborator. I never work alone. We've made the best deals together…How about you?"
"I am on family business. Me and my brother are helping people" he said. I wish, he added to himself.
"Are you doing donations?"
"Something like that. It's cold here. Why don't we walk?" he suggested.
" Course"
Castiel was waiting in a desolate alley. After some minutes Anna showed up.
"Hello Cas"
"Don't do it Anna. It's pointless." he begged.
"You can't stop me Cas. And it's not pointless." Anna replied in a warm voice.
"Whatever happened happened. You can't change the past"
"Says who?" replied Anna with a smirk.
"Despite of what we've learnt from all these years, logic." Castiel was raising his voice
"They have to die! The world is coming to an end, Castiel!" Anna yelled. Her voice wasn't angry. It was desperate. And different.
"You can't change it. Not now. And we have chances to win" the last words were more like a wish.
Anna laughed sadly.
"You know that Sam Winchester will say yes to Lucifer" she said still laughing. "And you know that Dean will never say yes to Michael. So Lucifer wins"
Deeply Castiel knew that Anna was right. The search for God wasn't going really well and Lucifer was coming closer and closer. He knew that Sam was weak. He would say yes easily. More easily than Dean. If only Dean said yes…But he didn't really want that either. Dean would die and that…just didn't felt right. There had to be another way.
He looked down.
"Still, that's wrong" he whispered.
Anna came closer and stroked Cas' cheek.
"You won't even remember it. I know that you don't want Dean to die but you won't be in pain because you simply won't remember him" she whispered warmly.
Castiel moved Anna's hand away and he stepped back.
"That's not the point. Killing is wrong" Cas mumbled.
"And let the whole planet burn is the right thing?" she asked. It was more a rhetorical question.
"Even if you go back, you can't kill them. You can't." Cas emphasized the last sentence.
"If you believe that then why don't you let me try?" she asked in the same tone again. She sighed and she disappeared leaving Cas behind.
