Disclaimer: If I owned Gundam Wing I would have enough money to buy a decent word processor. Since I am presently typing this on the word processor from HELL this scenario is very improbable.
Warnings: Shounen ai!! Shounen ai shounen ai shounen ai shounen ai shounen aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!! Have I made it clear to you people yet? MALE/MALE RELATIONSHIPS!!!! HOMOSEXUALS!!!! Got it? Good. So don't flame me because of it.
Making Heero Human: Behind the Scenes
Chapter 5
Clothes Scene – Take 1Heero: What exactly am I supposed to wear until my clothes are dry?"
Duo: Well…you could always borrow one of my outfits. I'm about your size. Here, I'll find something for you to wear. ::pulls out a clown outfit, complete with floppy shoes and puffy multicoloured pants::
Heero: ::sweatdrops:: You can't be serious.
Duo: ::scratches his head:: Now how'd this get in here?
Trowa: Hey! I've been looking for that!
Director: CUT!
*******
Clothes Scene – Take 2Heero: What exactly am I supposed to wear until my clothes are dry?
Duo: Well…you could always borrow one of my outfits. I'm about your size. Here, I'll find something for you to wear.
Quatre: I recommend a pink shirt and a purple vest. And khakis.
Director: What the…Quatre you're not supposed to be in this shot!
Quatre: Oops! Sorry.
Director: ::groans:: Cut.
*******
Clothes Scene – Take 3Heero: What exactly am I supposed to wear until my clothes are dry?
Duo: Well…you could always borrow one of my outfits. I'm about your size. Here, I'll find something for you to wear. ::pulls out a rubber cat-suit::
Heero: O.o o.O O.O
Duo: Uh…you weren't supposed to see that until tonight.
Heero: Happy Birthday to me!
Director: CUT DAMMIT!
*******
Clothes Scene – Take 4Heero: What exactly am I supposed to wear until my clothes are dry?
Duo: Well you could just walk around naked like Wufei does.
Wufei: I DO NOT!!!
Quatre: Oh shut up 'Fei, we've all seen you in the buff when you think we're not home. Remember the last time we got home from the mission early and—
Wufei: ::hefts katana:: Shut up or you're skewered Winner.
Director: We're never going to get through this scene are we?
*******
Clothes Scene – Take 5Heero: What exactly am I supposed to wear until my clothes are dry?
Duo: I don't know but since we've have to do this take so many times I've forgotten my lines.
Director: ::swearing::
*******
Breakfast – Take 1Wufei: Dammit Maxwell! The name is Wu-FEI. NOT Wuffie! And I wouldn't touch your collation with a ten-foot pole.
Trowa: Coalition.
Wufei: What?
Trowa: The word is coalition. Not collation.
Director: Let's try it again.
*******
Breakfast – Take 2Wufei: I wouldn't touch your collision with a—
Trowa/Duo: Coalition!
Wufei: That too.
Director: One more time.
*******
Breakfast – Take 3Wufei: I wouldn't touch your consolidation—
Everybody: Coalition!!
Wufei: Whatever. I still wouldn't touch it with a ten-foot pole.
Director: This is going to be a long day.
- *******
Wufei: ::practicing:: Coalition. Coalition. Coalition. Coalition.
Quatre: Do you think he'll get it this time?
Duo: I doubt it.
Trowa: Who's taking bets?
Heero: I'll take two against.
Wufei: You know I can hear you perfectly over there!
*******
Breakfast – Take 4Director: Okay Wufei, are you ready? This has to be the absolute last take 'cause we're running out of film.
Wufei: *psyched up* Coalition. Coalition. Coalition. Yeah I'm ready!
Director: Great! Annnnd…..action!
Duo: Too bad, Heero. I'll just give Wuffie your share.
Wufei: Coalition!
Other pilots: ::burst into giggles::
Director: Grrrrr…..let's just use the first take. Nobody will notice anyway.
- *******
Wufei: Yuy isn't human. You're fooling yourself if you think he's going to change just because of a few practical jokes.
Quatre: I don't know. Heero's got a good heart even if he doesn't show it often. Sometimes even the strongest walls will crack if enough pressure is put upon them.
Duo: Wow Quatre! That was really deep.
Quatre: Did you like it? I read it in a fortune cookie once.
Director: Confucius says CUT.
- *******
Quatre: I have a bad feeling about all this.
Heero: Trust the force Luke!
Quatre: O.o
Heero: What? Duo's made me watch those old space movies so many times I've got the whole thing memorized.
Duo: Impressive. Very impressive.
Director: Cut. And I quit. Again.
*******
Chapter 6
Bedroom – Take 1Duo: Aw don't be like that Hee-chan. This is my room too ya know.
Heero: Hn.
Duo: Besides, it's such a nice day out. Why don't you come on a picnic with me?
Heero: Hn.
Duo: It would be fun! There's a lake down by the park. I'll bring my bathing suit…"
Heero: Hn.
Duo: And you can bring your thong…
Heero: The red one or the blue?
Duo: Blue. It brings out your eyes.
Director: Could we PLEASE stick to the script?
Heero: Sorry.
*******
Bedroom – Take 2Duo: Could us a bit of music to lighten things up. ::puts a cd in the stereo and pushes play::
*loud polka music*
Duo: Who put that in there?
*******
Bedroom – Take 3Duo: Could us a bit of music to lighten things up. ::puts a cd in the stereo and pushes play::
IF YOU LIKE PINA COLADAS…AND GETTING CAUGHT IN THE RAIN!!!
Duo: What the…
Heero: ::snickers::
*******
Bedroom – Take 4Duo: Could us a bit of music to lighten things up. ::puts a cd in the stereo and pushes play::
HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME!!!
Duo: All right. Who the hell has been messing around with the God of Death's music collection?!!
Heero: ::clutching his stomach and laughing uncontrollably::
Quatre: Uh…Heero? You're not supposed to lose it in a laughing fit until Chapter 13.
Director: I give up.
*******
Bedroom – Take 5Heero: ::shoots at the stereo and misses completely:: Smeg.
Duo: Way to go Tex.
Heero: Shut. Up.
*******
Bedroom – Take 6Heero: ::shoots at the stereo and it blows up, frying his eyebrows:: X . x ….
Director: Hey, who taped explosives to the back of the stereo?
Wufei: ::snickering::
*******
Bedroom – Take 7Heero: ::aims at the stereo and pulls the trigger. A little white flag with the word BANG on it pops out of the gun:: Whoever did this….OMEO O KOROSU!!!
Duo: ::creeps out of the room trying not to laugh::
*******
Chapter 7 Battlefield – Take 1Duo: What are you saying Wufei? You think this was a decoy?
Wufei: Well duh.
Director: Script!
Wufei: Sorry.
*******
Battlefield – Take 2Duo: What are you saying Wufei? You think this was a decoy?
Wufei: Actually I think it's a ploy by OZ used to divert our attention away from what they're actually trying to do.
Duo: That's the same thing!
Wufei: Well so it is. Funny, huh.
*******
Battlefield – Take 3Duo: What are you saying Wufei? You think this was a decoy?
Wufei: That's exactly what I think. If I'm right, then all the troops that were supposed to be in this area have conveyed to Heero's sector.
Director: Converged.
Wufei: What?
Director: It's converged, not conveyed.
Wufei: Dammit, why do I get all the hard words?
Duo: Weren't you supposed to be a scholar before you piloted Gundams 'Fei?
Trowa: They never said he was a good scholar.
Wufei: Shaddup.
*******
Battlefield – Take 4Heero: No…that voice!
Mysterious voice: Sssurrender to the dark ssside of the force Heero!
Director: Cut!
*******
Battlefield – Take 5Heero: Monster! Who are you?!
Mysterious Voice: Heero…I am your father…
Heero: No! That's impossible! Zero, why didn't you tell me?
Duo: ::cracking up::
Director: That's it! You guys aren't allowed to watch Star Wars anymore on set!
*******
Battlefield – Take 6Duo: Heero! Can you hear me? Answer me, dammit! ::punches transmitter::
BOOM!Heero: Baka! That was the self-destruct button.
Quatre: Oh dear.
Trowa: Medic!
Duo: X . x ….
*******
Battlefield – Take 7Duo: Heero? Are you okay?
Heero: Duo?
Duo: Heero!
Heero: Duo!
Duo: Heero!
Quatre: John!
Trowa: Marsha!
Director: Shaddup!
*******
Battlefield – Take 8Duo: I hear ya Q. Let's get out of here. This mission was a bomb. Get it? Bomb? Aheh heh heh…
Wufei: Who writes this crap?
Cherry Blossom: Hey! Watch it or you're going to be Relena's bodyguard in the next chapter.
Wufei: …..
*******
Battlefield – Take 9Heero: ::draws his beam cannon and prepares to fire::
*click*
Heero: Damn! I knew I should have recharged this thing last night.
Duo: Uh oh…
BOOM!Trowa: Medic!
