Kidding Right?
Author's Note: Thanks for all the reviews guys and sorry for taking so long to update, unfortunately life and stuff gets in the way sometimes. But please bare with me and I shall work my hardest to get chapters out regularly now! Also, I saw the Avengers and it was AWESOME! So awesome in fact I went to see it three times! :D
CHAPTER TWO:
It was pretty safe to say that Tony wasn't going to his meeting this morning. Although, under the circumstance as to why he was unsure as to whether this was a good thing or a bad thing.
It wasn't an unsual situation for him; being occasionally accused of fathering a child. He was rich, handsome and once promiscuous. That made for an easy target amongst women looking for a baby daddy.
He was used to it, so he shouldn't be as nervous as he felt right now. But this time something felt different, the boy looked so much like him, it was freaky. Maybe it was true.
No.
It couldn't be.
Because of 'you're the father' scandles like this he was careful when it came to sex... Well most of the time he was. Plus not to mention getting the same woman pregnant roughly seven years apart, what were the chances?
Dammit!
"Tony... Tony!"
"Huh..." Tony snapped out of his thoughts, Pepper was approaching him with the baby, Elizabeth, in her arms and the boy following her.
"I'm going to call security," she said. "And prehaps a lawyer too."
Tony looked down at the boy, brown eyes meeting brown eyes. "What did you say your name was kid? And how old are you?"
"Lucas," the boy replied. "It was my seventh birthday last week."
"Full name."
"Lucas Anthony Chase."
Tony raised an eyebrow someone had gone through the trouble of making this boy's middle name his first name. "What about your sister, what's her full name?"
"Elizabeth Maria Chase. She's this many months old."
Tony looked at the six fingers Lucas held up but he wasn't really bothered about that. Maria, that was the name of his late mother. "Am I being Punk'd?" he asked, looking around. "Is Ashton Kutcher about to jump out?"
"Tony!" Pepper snapped. "This is no time for joking around."
Tony straightened up a bit. "Pep, you don't seriously believe this nonsense do you?" Despite calling it nonsense he himself couldn't shake the feeling at least one of these children was somehow related to him.
"Hey!" Lucas crossed his arms and looked up at him. "It isn't nonsense. You're my dad. My mommy said so."
Tony matched the boy's challanging look and asked, "So who's your mommy then?"
"Diana Chase."
"Diana Chase?" Repeated Pepper quizically.
Tony shook his head. "Doesn't ring any bells," he said before quickly adding, "Although there's a chance I may have been really drunk. Twice."
"That wouldn't surprise me," Pepper sighed. "Where do you live Lucas?"
"Oceanside!"
"In San Diego?"
"Yup," the boy nodded. "We took an aeroplane here and stayed in a hotel last night."
Pepper adjusted the baby onto her left arm. "What are we going to do Tony?"
We, Tony thought. At least it wasn't 'what are 'you' going to do?'.
"Call security, have them check the building for any one that's lost two children. If not, we check over the CCTV footage to see if what the kid says is true about his mom dropping them off outside the building. And then if needed a DNA test is in order. Also a trip to the hotel Lucas said he stayed at, hopefully this Diana Chase is still there as me and her need words about leaving her goods on my doorstep."
"We should call the cops too."
"Not yet. Let's at least get the DNA results first, I don't want any more people than needed knowing. Plus if I can return these children safely to the mom, there's no harm done." Tony crossed his arms, Pepper gave him a thoughtful look. "What?" he asked.
"Is this just some elaborate plan to get out of going to that meeting?"
"Give me some credit Pep."
"I wouldn't put anything past you Tony." Using her free hand Pepper pulled Lucas closer to her. "I'll deal with these two then and so you can still go to the meeting."
"No!" Tony protested. "You go to the meeting."
"You're the CEO." Pepper pointed out.
"Well then I'll make you CEO again. Or we can just reschedual."
"Can I go to the meeting?" Lucas grinned a hopeful grin.
"Yeah can't he go?" Tony whinned. "Get him a suit, some platform shoes. I'm sure we can pass him off for me."
Pepper rolled her eyes and squeezed Lucas' shoulder. "Unfortunately all the important people at this meeting want Mr Stark and if they don't get Mr Stark they are going to be very angry." She stressed the last two words.
"I'm Mr Stark too," Lucas said. "Sorta."
Tony didn't know what to say, this boy was adament that they were father and son. "I'll go to the meeting." He finally gave up, realising he'd probably get more chance of rest in the meeting than out of it.
"Thank you."
Tony half smiled and gave Pepper a kiss on the cheek. "Keep me updated and I'll be with you as soon as this meeting is over. If I don't die of boredom first that is." He turned to leave then looked back at Lucas. "It was nice meeting you kid."
"You too dad." This was the last thing Tony heard before he left the office.
*IRON MAN*IRON MAN*IRON MAN*
'PING!... PING!... PING!... PING!... PING!'
'Tony! Concentrate on the meeting.'
'No kiss? :( xxx'
'X now back to the meeting. X'
'Dinner at mine later? Xxx... Pep? Xxx... Stop reading my messages and not replying! Xxx... Hey! This is not proper BBM etiquette! :P xxx'
Tony gave up after this, he slipped his phone back into his pocket and rest his head in his hands as some suit, Mr Benson, blabbered away about profit projections whilst pacing back and forward.
"Mr Stark, do you have any suggestions on how to tackle the rising costs of the Iron Works division?"
"Get rid of it," Tony mumbled. "Hire cheap foreign workers. Change it into Wood Works division; it's a cheaper material."
"Mr Stark!"
"You asked I answered."
"Mr Stark this is a very important topic."
"Well then ask him." Tony waggled his finger at the skinny man sitting across the table from him. "He looks important."
"That's my assisstant," Mr Benson said.
"And a very important one indeed." He smiled at the assisstant who just turned a light shade of red.
"Tony!" Mr Benson raised his voice and then took a moment to compose himself before continuing. "Mr Stark, if we do not come up with a plan of action to sort out this problem with Iron Works, Mr Hakuma of Red Ring international is seriously reconsidering making an investment within this divison."
"Do you have children?"
"Excuse me?"
"You know, them little creatures that men and women sometimes make with sex." Tony looked around at all the people sitting at the table. "Do any of you have children?"
Much to Tony's frustration, nobody replied instead they just exchanged confused looks and murmers with eachother. The CEO got out of his seat and headed towards the door.
"Mr Stark, where are youu going?" Mr Benson questioned.
"For a walk." Tony couldn't be bothered to come up with some elaborate lie. "You don't really need me here anyway." Before he could be questioned any further he was out of the room and sending Pepper another message.
'Don't kill me Pepper, but I've walked out the meeting xxx' Tony found himself wandering into the nearest staff room whilst bracing himself for the hell he was about to catch.
'This better be good. X' Read his girlfriend's reply, at least she remembered the kiss. He ignored the greetings of several employees and laid dow on a sofa at the side of the room. Holding the Blackberry above his face he quickly wrote back.
'It's not everyday a man finds out he may be a father. Stressful times xxx'
'This is the third time in the past year you've been accused of fathering a child. So it is an everyday thing for you. X'
'But this time it's different xxx'
'How? X'
Tony took a bit more time to answer this time and even then he was still unsure of what he was writing. 'I don't know Pep, it just feels different xxx' This time Pepper didn't reply straight away either, in fact she didn't even read the message. 'What's happening now? Xxx' Tony typed.
'Lucas' story seems to check out. CCTV shows he was dropped outside the building this morning along with Elizabeth. X' Pepper finally wrote back.
'Great. I'm going to look up this Diana woman so we can return her lost property ASAP xxx'
'Where are you? X'
'Staff room 9th floor xxx'
'See you in a minute. X'
Tony used his other, more technologically efficient, phone to search Diana Chase. He initiated a search of all the people named Diana Chase over the age of 25 and under the age of 50 in Oceanside. A list of about a dozon names came up. With a press on the touch screen the names turned into holograms of photos which he could scroll through with a simple hand movement.
A picture of one of the woman looked vaguely familiar. Long brown hair, green eyes and a smile that was obviously forced. She was very pretty, Tony wouldn't put himself past sleeping with her in the past. The information that accompanied the picture said that she was 29 years old and her employment was currently unknown.
"Mommy!"
Tony turned his head to see Lucas bounding towards him followed by Pepper holding Elizabeth. The only other people in the staff room, a group of workers standing by the coffee machine, didn't even try to hide their amused looks as they watched the scene in front of them. But when Tony shot them a less than friendly glance they quickly averted their gaze.
"That's my mommy." Lucas poked at the hologram photo, apparently fascinated at the fact his finger could easily pass through it. Tony sat up and handed him the phone to keep him amused.
"Tony," Pepper sat next to him, balancing Elizabeth on her knee.
"That's the mom." Tony nodded at the pictures that Lucas was sitting on the floor scrolling through. "And I hate to say it, but I think I've slept with her at least once." He ran his hands through his hair and sat back, staring at the ceiling. "What am I going to do Pepper?"
"Well first," she set Elizabeth on the ground and produced three plastic bags containing swabs. Tony hadn't even noticed her carrying them. "A DNA test just like you ordered."
"Hey, you guys!" Tony called getting the group still huddled by the coffee machine. "Can I get some privacy in here please?"
"Tony!" Pepper scoulded but the group reluctantly done what their boss told them to. "Sorry," She apologised on Tony's behalf as they obediently left.
Whilst Tony went through the all too familiar proceedure of sticking the swab in his mouth for a sample of cheek cells, Pepper got samples from the two children.
He pondered the idea of keeping samples of his DNA in some sort of bank so that when ever situations like the current arose women could test their children without having to ever bother him.
"Here." He put the swab back in the bag and handed it to Pepper. She scribbled his inititals on it.
"I'll run these across town to Dr Michaels," she said. Despite the building they were in having some of the best medical facilities the city had to offer, Tony never let them handle paternity tests any more. He'd learnt the hard way after a leaked test on a young girl a couple of years back turned into a media frenzy. Luckily, Pepper had a doctor friend at the local hospital who gladly would gladly do the tests and keep quiet about them.
"No," Tony shook his head. "You've done enough, send Happy to do it." He trusted his long time chauffeur with matters like this.
"Happy went on holiday yesterday."
"Oh yeah," he briefly recalled the chauffeur talking about hotels in Hawaii. "I'll come too then." He got up and grinned at his girlfriend.
"Who's going to watch Lucas and Elizabeth? And before you say anything, they can't come. I don't remember your death trap car being fitted with a booster seat."
Tony groaned, "Have you ever been in trouble with the law Miss Potts?"
"Only on behalf of you Mr Stark."
"Touche," Tony said half grinning. "I'll go and you stay here then."
"Hmm..." Pepper pursed her lips. "I guess that whilst you're gone I can sort out the mess you made of that meeting."
"Sorry..." Tony began.
"Don't mention it. Just pick up some diapers, baby food and formula on the way. I'll get Lucas something to eat from the canteen."
Lucas looked up at the mention of his name. "Kiddo you wanna come with?" Tony asked him. "You can take me to that hotel you stayed in, see if we can find your mom."
"Sure." The boy nodded excitedly.
"No, he's to young to ride without a car seat too," said Pepper. "Sorry Lucas but after we get you some food and I sort out Mr Stark's meeting crisis I can give you a tour around the building." She tried to make this sound as appealing as she could to the seven year old but he still shook his head.
"I wanna go with him."
"I'll drive carefully. And I'll make him wear a seat belt," Tony insisted as he took the DNA samples from the woman's hand. "C'mon Lucas." He ushered the boy out of the room whilst Pepper yelled her protests at him.
*IRON MAN*IRON MAN*IRON MAN*
"This car is awesome!" yelled Lucas as he and Tony sped down the road in the white Audi R8 V10 Spyder sports car.
"I know right. If only we weren't in the city then I could show you just how fast this baby really goes."
"I want a car just like this when I'm older dad."
"Dad..." Tony repeated quietly whilst pulling up at the lights. "Look kiddo, call me Tony or Mr Stark. Even Iron Man if you really want to."
"But you're dad."
"Lucas," Tony tried not to sound too harsh. "I know you want to believe it but I'm sorry buddy; I'm not your dad."
"But my mom said you was."
"Well your mommy li..." Tony quickly changed his mind he didn't think telling a seven year old that his mom was a liar would go down very well. "Your mom just made a mistake and this DNA test we're doing is just to prove it."
Lucas crossed his arms and turned his head away from Tony in a defiant manner. "Whatever," the older man heard him say under his breath.
