DESPAIR


Tomorrow morning, the alarm woke her up. The alarm was her mum saying "Good morning, beautiful." She cried uncontrollably. After a while, she heard Nancy shouting.

"Ms. Gilbert, your breakfast is prepared."

She looked at the clock and it was 6.45. She quickly prepared, wore a jeans and a t-shirt written "Keep Calm and Be Happy." on it. She made a horsetail and went downstairs.

"Good morning, my little princess." Katherine said to her gladly. "Nancy prepared delicious pancakes for you. I remember you love them, don't you?"

"I actually do. I haven't eaten any of them for ages, thank you granny!" She sat on a chair, started eating in a rush. After finishing her breakfast, she went to the university. (by the car her grannie gave her.) As she was there, she saw a big crowd. Everyone was there, her old school friends. Ouch, she thought it would be a new start, well, there were a lot of new people as well. She suddenly noticed Matt standing in front of the door and talking to Tyler.

She took her bag and walked to him. "Hello, Matt." She tried to smile, she was sure it sounded like she was suffering. "And hi, Tyler." She looked at Matt to send Tyler elsewhere. She needed to talk to him alone.

As Tyler left, she took a deep breath. "I know, we didn't talk for a long while but you might have heard, my parents died." She bit her lips. "And I had time to think…"

Matt interrupted her. "I heard. I'm so sad for you, Elena, really." He hugged her tightly. "I missed you. I know we felt apart for a while but I promise, I will fix this as soon as possible." He smiled.

Elena was surprised. She expected to start an end conversation but now… How could she do that, anyway? She just hugged back and smiled softly. All the words she wanted to say suddenly disappeared. She couldn't be that selfish, she couldn't leave him like this.

How ironic that was. In the morning, she promised herself that everthing would be different, she opened a new page in life. But now, she was a coward. She couldn't even tell her feelings to Matt. She suddenly hoped that, at least her interview would be okay. She left Matt there and went to the building.

She met Caroline and Bonnie there. She really missed them. They talked about how it was going in their lives. Elena told about Matt and her. Bonnie agreed on not breaking up this way. However, Caroline said that it was a shame that Elena stalled off Matt. She'd better leave him as soon as possible, Matt could understand this. Elena couldn't get why Caroline got that angry about her relationship but she felt that she couldn't leave Matt, not right now.

During school, she saw someone else but all she could think was her and Matt. She tried not to talk to him during school, she had no power for this.

After school, she drove off to the company, for the interview. She looked at herself in the mirror, her doe brown eyes and pink lips looked great. As she found the building, she stopped and got out of the car. She looked at herself for the last time and entered in. The attendant in front of the door asked her why she came. When she answered, he brought her to the waiting hall. She met the other applicants there. She also realised that she had to wear formal, ouch.

They called her name. It meant that it was her turn. She took a breath and entered the room. A man in suit was waiting for her. He was quite handsome with deep blue eyes and a pale skin. She blushed as she noticed his glance on her.

"Katherine." He whispered surprisingly. He was as though he couldn't believe his eyes.

She was confused. "I'm actually Elena. Elena Gilbert." She smirked. She thought it was just a coincidence that Katherine was her grandmother's name. "I came here to apply for the job that was advertised in a newspaper."

He nodded. "I'm sorry, you just really remind me of someone." He smirked back. "And I'm Damon Salvatore, the owner of this company. Please have a seat, Elena."

"Thanks." She said and sat on a chair. "Here is my CV." She suddenly felt as if she needed to talk more. "This will be my first experience in a serious company. I… I know I haven't got enough experience you need and maybe, even skills. I just think I can be a great secretary. I'm organized; frequently." She suddenly got quiet and looked at Damon.

Damon started laughing. "Keep calm. I'm actually searching for someone that I can be myself around, cheerful and sincere."

"I am talking much, right?" She giggled. "I need money above all. I've just lost my parents and I live with my grandmother. I need to learn how to survive by myself."

"And you chose a serious company for this. That's an interesting view point. If I were you, I would start by small things, not a company."

She looked at him and raised her eyebrow. "You might be right but I'm ambitious... I believe myself. I can do it, I can be a great secretary or whatever I want."

Damon stared for a while. Then, he smirked. "Elena, I think that's enough. We'll keep in touch with you. Thanks for coming."

She got embarassed and regretful. "Thank you." She looked at him for the last time and left the room. She was about to cry. She jumped to her car and drove off home. She broke down. Her tears just fell off from her doe eyes. She was still crying when she was home. She entered and ran to her room without saying anything.

She started shouting at herself. "How stupid you are. Why did you even talk of yourself that much? Did you see, it wasn't what he waited from you. He even liked you at first but you ruined everything. AS ALWAYS."

Katherine entered in. "Elena, honey." She was breathless. "What happened? A rough day?"

"I couldn't tell my feelings to Matt because I'm that coward and I ruined my job interview. I rattled, Damon Salvatore didn't even listen to me. He said 'We'll keep in touch.' Doesn't it mean that they'll never call me?" She continued crying.

Katherine turned pale as she heard 'Damon Salvatore.' "They might call you, honey. Don't be desperate, please!" She coughed. "And Damon Salvatore… is he your boss?"

"My never-going-to-be boss, yes. He called me Katherine first, he said I reminded him of someone. He even liked me but what did I do? Ruined everything instead!" She was so angry.

Katherine couldn't know what to say. How could this even be possible? Then, he was back. She didn't want to ask more to Elena. She didn't want her to be doubtful of something. How could she explain if Elena did? It was really the worst. She started caressing her hair. "Dear, take a rest. I'm sure they'll choose you. Why wouldn't they? Just sleep well tonight and everything will be better, tomorrow. I promise." She tried to smile.

Elena just nodded and stared Katherine leaving the room. Then, she grabbed her diary.

Dear Diary,

Do you remember when I said you that I decided to start a new life? I tried, I really did. It seems impossible. I even ruined my first day. I couldn't tell Matt that I don't feel the same any more, he said everything's going to be okay and all I could was just to nod.

I also ruined my interview.

I have no power to write or talk, see you soon.

She replaced it under her bed again and lied. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She didn't even want to think what was next. Whatever it was, she was sure that she would ruin it, too. She fell asleep in despair.


Hope you like it, have a nice day. :)

P.S. I think my grammar mistakes are understandable since English isn't my mother tongue. Thanks. :)