Here is one more chapter for tonight. I will maybe post two more chapters tomorrow, and then it will be a wait for a few days until I get some more beta'd chapters back.
As always, thank you to Darcy'smom for betaing, and my friends (they know who they are) for reading.
I do hope you like this one.
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Chapter 1-
The smell wasn't right. It was never right, not anymore.
I didn't like the smell of dust settling on old moldy wood along with stale air.
I lost track of the days since I left her. I couldn't remember the last time I fed or even looked out the window that peered down on to the city below.
The attic was my burial ground. Nothing but old memories, hallucinations, and the stench of failure.
I had nothing, was nothing.
The small piece of fabric I had, that had long carried her scent had dried up. It offered nothing to me now. It was useless, just like me. I laid there, not moving while I thought of her – remembered her and what we used to be.
My nights held such promise while I lay next to her as she dreamed of our future, the meadow and maybe, if I am allowed to wish, she dreamed of everything I fantasized about but could never do with her.
At least her dreams allowed her that.
I closed my eyes for the briefest of moments and succumbed to the silence that filled the air. I tried my hardest to remember her heart beat, how it would always skip a bit whenever I smiled at her, ran my finger across her cheek and down her neck. How she would suck in a quick breath when I moved closer as my lips would touch hers.
I realized that was when everything was perfect, it was our heaven.
My throat flared with hunger as my stomach twisted in pain, and yet I still made no move to hunt. I saw no purpose in doing so.
Nothing satisfied me.
The light began to dim, and shadows took residence along the attic walls. I begged my vampire brain to allow me to dream with the hopes that maybe I would turn to ash and be blown away with some wind that came from somewhere. Hopefully that same wind would take me home to her and let me bask in her light and love, touches and caresses. Just let me have what I once had before.
I moved my head to the right and stared at the wall as the light outside dimmed even more. I could stare for hours and not move. But for the briefest of moments I was brought back to a time in our meadow, her finger traced my lips as she looked down at me, smiling. "I love you, Edward," she whispered as she nuzzled her head into the crook of my neck, and I breathed her in like she was my air, water, the blood I needed in order to survive. I breathed her in so deep, almost like it was my last day on earth.
In a way I suppose it was. I left in the end after all.
The attic grew darker, the silence more penetrating than before.
Loneliness was such an ugly thing.
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